Farmer Stinky - part 1

Story by Mocha Jon on SoFurry

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im taking a brief hiatus from master stinky, and making small stories till its done


It was a simple day in the country, the fields were green, the horses were roaming, and the leaves were changing and falling. There were two visitors to the country, and they did not like it at all. The raccoon was born on a ranch and moved to the city when he was six, and he never wanted to go back. The badger was a suburban hipster who recently moved to the city and was indefferent to it, but found it better then the country. They were roomates but were placed in the witness protection program and relocated to the country and are arranged to stay on a skunk's farm. The two were driving to the farm and ranting on how they hate this.

"Hey Ryder, why do you hate the country?" the badger asked.

"Well I lived here as a kid, and let's just say I don't like spending my saturday nights shoveling hey, why do you hate it Brenden?" the raccoon responded.

"Horse riding, cow milking, and such, it's enslaving the animals, not fair to them."

"Well we're here now, and now we gotta meet a skunk who looks like he should be a character in a kid's cartoon with that outfit."

They arrived at the farm while the skunk was putting his hey into the bailer, and they walked over to him and introduced themselves.

"Howdy, nice to meet you, I'm guessing you're the new guests, my name's Farmer Stinky, I welcome you with open paws." the skunk said with a deep, monotone voice and faint southern drawl.

"Um hi, this is, really akward..." Ryder said in akwardness.

"How's about I give ya the tour of the fields and the barn before super?" Farmer Stinky asked.

"Naw, I'm just gonna put my bags up in my room amd get settled, I don't really plan on being a farmer for long." Ryder said as he went back to the car.

"I'll do it, I've got nothing better to do, I might as well just look around and make mean comments." the badger said with a mix of durision and humor.

"Great, let's start with the field..." Farmer Stinky began as the scene changed to Ryder in his room.

"I hate our legal system, see a crime and you gotta turn it in, well look where that's got me, on a farm with a skunk who smells like a swamp, looks like a stereotyoe cataloge, and sounds, kinda cool I'll admit, but still it..." he said as he fell asleep on his cott.

Back to the skunk and the badger, they had seen all the fields and are now walking into the barn, much to Bremdon's annoyance.

"And lastly, here's my, I mean, our barn, here's where I keep all my horses, I feed them out there but keep them inside when I'm not using them." Farmer Stinky said

"Well that's not very fair to them, they shouldn't be kept in here this long, and they really shouldn't be riden, they arn't cars they're sentiant beings, this is why I hate farming!" Bremden said in anger and annoyance.

"Really...?" Farmer Stinky began.

"And also, this is just an extra, I hate how cowboys dress, I mean look at those over-alls, and that hat, not what the indie rock stars are wearing dude, so conformist."

"Well maybe you should give it a shot... I've got some extra hats back behind the stables..."

"Yea, not gonna happen, those arn't in this badger's comfort zone, you'd have to brainwash me or somthing to get that to happen man." the badger said mockingly.

"Kinda like that... just at least let me grab one and show ya."

"Eh why not, I haven't contridicted anything in two minutes, I need something to hate, go grab it." Brenden said.

"Okay hold on..." Farmer Stinky said as he went to grab a cowboy hat.

"Also, and this is just nit picking, what kind of parents name their kid Farmer Stinky, even if you are a skunk that's just asking for bulling." Brenden said loud enough to be heard but not so loud as to be comsidered yellng.

Farmer Stinky returned with the cowboy hat and a faint scowl/grin on his face.

"Dude that doesn't go with this outfit at all... which makes it perfect for a hipster, put it on me!"

"Wow, he even contradicts himself" Farmer Stinky whispered to himself.

"But this doesn't mean I'm changing my opinion on any of this!" the badger exclaimed.

"Oh don't worry, I won't be the one thinking that..." Farmer Stinky said as he walked over to put the hat on, with his scowl/frin slightly increasing.

Ryder woke up and went into the barn to see something to his great surprise...

"Now tighten the lace and he should be saddled up, why don't you hope on, give it a go." Farmer Stinky said while watching Brendon get onto a horse, whose hat has a glowing circle on top of it and his eyes pulsating in blue and red swirles.

"Dude what is with this, what happened to the rants about not riding horses, and what is with that hat, it doesn't match that outfit at all... which makes it perfect for you, but still?" Ryder said in a mix of anger, annoyance, and confusion.

"I thought I'd give it a shot, and it actually is what I was meant for my whole life." the badger said in a slow, monotone voice, almost as deep as Farmer Stinky's with the same drawl, as the horse walked over to him.

"He turned out to be quite convincible once I got the hat on."

"Okay, so many questions, one, who am I smelling, you or the horses, two, how did you ever convince him of anything, three, what's with the glow, and finally, why is he talking like you?" Ryder asked, being annoued but alittle unnerved.

"Ryder, why don't you try a cowbot hat on, it actually makes the man, and it gives you alot of new ideas..." the badger said while trying to hand the raccoon a cowboy hat from the stables.

"Get that out of my face man...!" the raccoon said as he swatted the hat away, "Now Brenden, you were confusing before but now, wow, and skunk, you really seem annoying, I'm gonna go back to bed before more wierd stuff happens." Ryder said.

"Alright, we'll start the farm work tomorrow, we shoukd get our rest, and my name isn't skunk, it's Farmer Stinky."

"And I don't want to be called Brenden anymore, I want to be called Farmer Stripes, it's my new cowboy name, I look forward to working the fields tomorrow Stinky." the badger said as he put the horse back into the stable.

They all went to bed, Farmer Stinky now had a new friend to help him with the fields and livestock. Brenden now happily loves planting seeds amd riding his horses, but Ryder isn't giving up, he think's something's up, and he wants to know what.