Chasing Rainbows
#3 of Diary of a Polar Bear
"So you're telling me you make all your income just by... living through holidays?" Mattock was indignant. The chubby red kangaroo that Musky had brought to the party was adorable, sure, but he seemed to take personal offense to the idea of being well-off without having a full-time job.
"It's not like that. I mean, sure, there's a lot of money in them, but mainly that's from selling services. It's only a few that just have cash for the taking." I turned over some of the burgers on the grill.
"Yeah, I remember, you showed me the Christmas rings."
"Don't remind me," muttered Mockridge, who was sitting nearby on the patio table. I wasn't sure if my mouse was more concerned about covering the expense of twelve days of Christmas gifts, or about the possibility of not being the 'true love' that did.
"Point is," I said, "sometimes all you have to do is look. Like today. You can get literally pots of money on St. Patrick's day."
"How the hell do you get money out of St. Patrick's day?"
"It's in the iconography. Look around."
Mattock looked around the back porch, which was fully decked out in holiday paraphernalia. An "ah" from behind me told me that Mockridge saw it first. Musky nodded.
"All right... leprechauns, shamrocks, green hats, green beer, green I'm-not-Irish-but-you-can-kiss-me-anyway apron... and the one thing that isn't green, a pot of gold at the end of a frickin' rainbow, what the hell."
"But it doesn't even make sense! It's an optical phenomenon -- I could make a rainbow with your garden hose -- you couldn't get gold out of that, could you?"
"Go ahead and give it a try," I said, pointing around the corner to where the hose was coiled up. "Sun's over there, so just fire it at the back fence."
Mattock turned the hose on and soon a spray of water was arcking out across the yard, a faint rainbow visible under it.
"All right," I said, holding my hands up to show they were empty, no tricks, and approached the shimmering colors, willing them to stay in place and not vary with the angle of my eye.
I brushed my fingers through the thin ribbon of fragmented light.
I went back to where Mattock was standing, still holding my hand out so he could see there had been no legerdemain involved.
The fur of my paw was coated in a thin layer of gold dust.
He took a pinch of it and examined it, and the mouse and the skunk came to look it over as well. "All right, even for magic that's pretty fucked up," Mattock said. "But that's definitely not a pot of gold."
"To be fair, you did use a garden hose," Mockridge said, jumping to my defense and looking up numbers on his mobile-phone-slash-tablet. "Nature is way bigger. A raincloud generally has... over a million tons' worth of mass in it, so a natural rainbow could be expected to yield... a hundred million to a billion times as much gold as this, or... a pot of gold about as big as Pollux. That'd weigh about, hmm, four tons, or..." he looked up in surprise. "Or about a hundred fifty million dollars worth of gold. You mean we could get a hundred fifty million dollars if we went rainbow hunting today and we're just sitting around barbecuing?"
"There's not a cloud in the sky," I protested.
"There is out west," Mockridge said, turning his tablet over to show us the weather map. "Heavy rains maybe an hour's drive from here. Less distraction, more action!"
He slung the tablet on his back and started climbing up my leg. I squirmed a little but leaned over one of the patio tables and let the smaller mouse clamber into my massive tailhole.
I shivered a bit as my little boyfriend moved around inside me, and noticed the skunk and the kangaroo were looking at me with some surprise. "Does he always do that?" Musky asked.
"Not like you wouldn't!" Mockridge said, the sound somewhat muffled from somewhere deep inside me.
"You're right," he said, watching my ass. "I would, I totally would."
More squirming motions inside me. I struggled to stay upright, then felt Mockridge's head pushing out of my hole again. "Well, come on then. There's plenty room enough."
Musky looked to Mattock for approval. The kangaroo shrugged. "I suppose it can't hurt," he said. "But, ah, I'll stay outside if you don't mind. Someone's gotta keep an eye on the skies while bear is driving."
"C'mon, c'mon," Mockridge said. "We haven't got all day."
The skunk came over and knelt behind me as the mouse retreated back into my hole. I moaned out a bit as Musky's paw slid along its puffy lip before he pressed it in deeper, but too tentatively--the teasing was driving me crazy, and I was leaking pre all over the patio floor.
"Let me help you," I said. "Put your nose up against me."
When I felt the skunk's hoglike snout pressing at my tailhole, I pushed back, feeling it open my hole as I engulfed his head. "All right..." I said. "Brace yourself... here comes the drop bear!"
I slid back with the full weight of over seven hundred pounds of polar bear, the skunk yelping with surprise as his chunky form slid easily into my massive hole, filling me fuller than my mouse ever did even when he brought his computers in there to work on.
"Oh fuck," I said, my dick incredibly stiff from the extreme stimulation. "Oh... fuck..."
Mattock rushed over and tried to help me up. "Are you all right? You didn't tear anything, did you?"
I didn't know how much the skunk weighed exactly but he had to be at least two-fifty. "No... it's... it's good... Just... so full." My paws reached down to stroke my swollen belly, which was too thick to show any outline of the skunk, but nevertheless looked bigger, given I was now carrying at least half a ton around on my legs.
I was able to struggle to my feet with the kangaroo's help, feeling the skunk rocking back in forth in my bowels with every motion.
I tried to resist the temptation to just start jerking off right then and there.
Then I decided that it might be a good idea to jerk off, because we had a ways to go tonight and I figured I should get it out of my system.
Then I realized that with the weight of the skunk inside me it'd be impossible for me to lift my gut out of the way enough to reach my cock.
Then I remembered that Mattock was still watching me, and thought that maybe bursting into spontaneous masturbation probably wouldn't be the best idea anyway.
And then I thought, fuck it, his boyfriend is stuffed up my ass. If we weren't at that level of intimacy before, we were certainly there now.
"Help me get off," I said. "Please."
I dragged Mattock back into my room, which today was all hung in green save for a red-and-white flag along one wall.
The squirming inside me was unbelievable. I wasn't sure what my mouse was doing with the skunk in there but they had me so stiff I could feel rivulets of pre soaking the underside of my belly.
I collapsed onto the bed and rolled over on my back, and the kangaroo took his place between my thighs, grinning up at me.
He braced his paws on the lower edge of my gut's apron and pushed upwards, exposing my short stiffness to the cool air.
"Mm, sweet little bear..." The kangaroo bent down and gave me a lick with a thick tongue that more than engulfed my inch-long shaft and made me tremble with anticipation. "Mmm... juicy little bear..."
He took the whole of it into his mouth, sliding his tongue along it, making me squirm even more as the struggling inside me began to subside.
"Oh fuck, Matty..." The kangaroo suckled deep at my cock, burying his muzzle in my fat pad, distracting me only a little from the feel of the skunk slowing his thrashing inside me. Musky was running out of air--maybe wasting it on trying to escape his condition, though at his size that'd be a near impossibility.
I felt the much smaller movements of my mouse inside me, probably humping the poor skunk as he passed out, and the thought of it made my dick twitch in the kangaroo's muzzle. He took it as encouragement and sucked harder, burying his muzzle deep in my flab to get more of me into him, and I reached down as best I could to stroke his headfur encouragingly.
Matty repositioned the paws holding my gut out of his face so that he was able to hold my blubber back with one paw, and I felt him moving the other one down to stroke my big tailhole.
I couldn't really hold back as he slid his paw in and out of me, giving his skunk enough air to recover and get back to squirming in response to whatever Mockridge was doing to him. I groaned out loud, humping upwards into the kangaroo's muzzle as my dick shot its load, the contractions of my muscles making my loaded ass feel all the tighter around its cargo.
We cleaned up and got in the Durango, Mattock watching the cloudy sky and directed me as I tried to focus on the road. The skunk had managed to turn himself around in my gut, and his muzzle was against the inside of my tailhole so he could grab air when he needed it.
And now he was getting playful.
"Muskyyyy!" I yelped, trying to drive in a straight line as he aggressively tongued my hole.
"Take this exit and go left," Mattock said, watching the weather on his phone. "What's he doing?"
"He's rimming me."
He chuckled and gave my gut a rub. "Well, us big fellahs never can turn down a donut, eh?"
The touch only got me stiffer. "Do you want to get run off the road? Because that's how you get run off the road."
"The bear makes a good point. Musky!" he said, addressing my hindquarters, "knock it off. Not all of us have as much padding at the moment as you do. There!"
I looked up to see a rainbow on the horizon. Mine, I thought. "How much time till the sun is down?"
"Er... maybe half an hour?"
I hit the gas.
We reached the base of the rainbow just as the light was failing, but we'd made it in time: the pot of gold had already manifested, a black cauldron overflowing with coins.
Mattock went up to look it over and I braced myself against the Durango as Musky tried to push his way out of my ass.
The feel of the big skunk stretching my hole open was immensely satisfying, like taking a massive shit--and it smelled just about as strong, too. But it wasn't long before he tumbled out onto the ground, gasping for breath as Mockridge hopped nimbly out of my hole after him.
"This is bonkers," Mattock was saying, coming back to us with a handful of the coins. "There aren't any real coins that look like this." They were stamped on one side with an ornate harp and blank on the reverse.
"Magic isn't going to make sense. We wouldn't call it magic if it did."
"Reality is still broken if you can pull a fortune out of thin air."
"Hey, at least I'm sharing." I grabbed a few of the coins and tossed them over the skunk, who was still lying down and recovering himself.
Musky tried to shake them off. "I kind of stink right now, you probably don't want me rolling in that."
"Pecunia non olet," Mockridge muttered, jabbing at his tablet.
"What?" Musky said. "Wait, sharing?"
"Don't spend it all in one place," the mouse answered. "Seriously. Invest it right and you can live comfortably for as long as you like, but if you're prone to splurging you'll burn it in a handful of years. That is, if it lasts the night." He looked up at me. "This is real, right? It outlasts the holiday and we get to keep it?"
"I should think so. Your bigger problems are how we'd sell it, how much the tax man would take... well, and how we'd get it home, too."
The cauldron was, as Mockridge had estimated, about as big as I was--not as tall as me, but rather wider--and probably too heavy for the Durango to carry safely, even with the trailer.
Not that the four of us could even budge it so far as to get it on the trailer anyway.
Mattock was just pulling out his phone to try one of those twenty-four-hour towing companies when there was a flash of light followed by the sound of a gunshot. "Oh, fuck," he said. "Probably shouldnt've landed the rainbow on private property."
Dogs started barking, and we all scrambled to get back in the Durango and leave before it got ugly.
"Sorry guys. Maybe next year."