Messing with the Alphabet

Story by Bearzerker01 on SoFurry

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This was a gift for my friend Lintu for her birthday, I made sure she took a look at it before she posted it. Its a new kind of story style for me, the whole first person telling of an event so be kind with it. I also have never been to Europe and I don't care if my description is wrong, so don't comment. Other than that, sit back, relax, enjoy and review this chance encounter between my Cougar Lynn and Lintu's Rhino gal R.


I fucking love big, beautiful and strong willed females. Let me rephrase that I don't love fat women or bitches I love real females. Why do I say this? Simple really, I had an experience that completely reassured my faith in the female sex and in the old world. If there are more fem's like her in Europe then there is still hope for the old world.

I was taking a trip through Europe when I met her. I had reached Amsterdam and to be honest I was very disappointed in the city. All the drugs sex and debauchery of the city seemed like a tame Las Vegas hooters, it wasn't exciting or overly awesome to the people who lived there, hell even the visitors seemed to care less about the sins laid before them and more about the weather, well except for the dumb ass Americans walking around, I hate my countrymen sometimes...well hell all the time.

Anyways I was in Amsterdam and after realizing that the drugs and sex were just to depressing for this alcoholic I would just go to any dark place that could give me that tasty European beer. The Netherlands isn't the best place for beer, but its close, at least it wasn't Italian beer. So when I found a nice dark place with a bartender that spoke passable English I sat down and proceeded to play a game of my own invention, the challenge.

The challenge is a simple game; drink a pint of every beer on tap in under 2 hours. I usually won, but never felt good after winning. As you can tell it's a brutal liver testing game. But if you choose to play the challenge let me warn you, I'm not liable for the dumb ass things you will do before during or after the challenge.

Anyways I had gone through half the challenge when a shimmer caught my eye. I leaned towards the direction of the shimmer and saw something that can only be described as in-fucking-possible. A purple skinned Rino female was walking out of the bathroom wearing a shimmering gold dress that accentuated the curves of her voluptuous body. She walked with confidence in her stride a glint of mischievousness in her golden eyes and her tight smooth hide reflected the light just as much as her shimmering dress. She was the pinnacle of what I call beauty.

As she walked my direction I was too drunk and dumbfounded to do anything or say anything, I just smiled, a big retarded feeling betraying smile. Unfortunately, or fortunately she saw me and returned the smile, a wonderful sexy male melting smile. Now that I had got her attention I had no clue what to do.

I was petrified as she approached. I could smell her perfume, its sweet smell overwhelming my reason center, as she leaned up against the bar. She wore a coy smile across her muzzle as she gave me a wink and a giggle. I was still too enrapt in her beauty to make a move or a noise. By the time she opened her mouth I don't know if she was speaking another language or I was so out of it that I just couldn't understand her English.

After a few moments of me just staring at this full figured goddess must have realized that I wasn't a local and that there was something wrong so much to my surprise after moments of hearing gibberish coming out of the young fem's muzzle I suddenly heard her speak in English, as she grabbed my shoulder and shook me lightly, "Hello, are you retarded or something?" Her Dutch accent was thick though I could understand her.

I shook my head a moment trying to collect myself and shake back into reality, I remember thinking 'focus Lynn, this is a chance to get with something that isn't your paw for once.' I'm not terribly pathetic, I am a good lover and have a decent amount of skill when it comes to wooing women but my success rate wasn't 100%. I tipped my hat and smiled at the gorgeous creature before me, "No...well I mean it depends on who you ask, some of my critics may say so." 'Smooth recovery.'

She giggled and shook her head, "are you a movie star or something?"

I kept up the friendly non 'omg I want to tear all your clothes off and make sweet love to you' feeling betraying smile as I responded. "Why do you think I have the face of a movie star? Naw I'm an independent Writer, the names Lynn by the way."

She smiled back and extended her paw, "Nice to meet you Lynn, I'm R."

I took her paw in mine but instead of shaking it I decided to try and be suave, I'm lacking some in the charisma department. I turned her paw over so the back of it was facing up and I gently placed my lips to it, "Simple name for an amazing female." 'Ok there cougar, slow down don't overwhelm her with your crappy attempt at charm.'

She visibly blushed, her head tilted down, embarrassed at my attention. And now that I had broken down her initial barrier I realized that I might actually have a chance with the large Rhino. Now I had to make things less sexual and more casual.

"So R, what brings you out to a dive like this, you seem set on going out to more...fancy affairs."

She smiled back up at me, "Oh this is an ok place but I was just here to find some 'entertainment for the night' to make the evening more interesting."

I had to quirk an eyebrow as it seemed that her tone indicated either a complete unabashed search for sex or something I didn't understand at that moment, I didn't know she was Dutch for Christ sake. "Entertainment?"

She put a paw to her chin, thinking about how to explain it in English. "Well I usually go out to hit the clubs, dance with friends and look for guys. But I have found that it is hard to go out and hit some clubs with friends and find males at the same time. So I do a little pre-shopping for males before hitting clubs just so I can remove one step of the process completely." She said with a wink at me.

"In a dive like this?"

"What is a 'dive'?"

"Never mind," I made sure to take a long and fulfilling last gulp of my beer before continuing, had to stop now just in case, "so you are on the hunt, any prey in mind other then just male?"

"What do you mean?" she asked coyly making sure I noticed her straightening her posture up and cross her thick legs.

I gave a half chuckle as I put down the now empty glass, "What kind of males do you go out to find, big, skinny, dumb, smart, big assed, muscled, you know what kind of male are you on the prowl for?"

Her coy smile grew larger as she hit the nail on the head, "Well I've never tried American before and I am always looking for something new." There was no way she would tease me more then that, well at least I thought that at the time, little did I know I was in for an evening of a tough up hill struggle to reach the peak of the mountain.

It took little time after that statement for us to head out together, back to her place of course. The journey wasn't to long and it went quick as we chatted about our lives, what we did when we weren't trying to get our prospective crotches wet and so forth. She was a rather interesting Rhino for living in a town that seemed about as boring with its excitement as Kansas was bored about corn jokes.

When we entered her small apartment...or was that a flat, I don't know what they call them over there so I'll just stick with my terminology. Her apartment wasn't big, rather cozy actually with a kitchen separated from the living room and a bedroom with a bathroom attached. It was recently built it seemed, having all the amenities of the 21st century. It was well maintained, everything in order and only a pile of papers on the small table in the kitchen denoting any kind of living in the place at all.

"Nice place, do you actually live here or is this just the place you take your prey to?"

She looked confusingly at me, "what do you mean?"

I shook my head with a laugh, "I mean this place is well maintained, much better maintained then I have ever seen an, well, normal apartment."

She nodded, "I just like to keep things neat, especially when I am hoping for guests." She gave me that male melting innocently 'I'm gonna rock your world' smile again as she finished, sending a shiver down my spine. She then proceeded to take my paw in hers and lead me to the dimly lit bedroom.

The bedroom was as immaculate as the rest of the place but in contrast to the other parts of the apartment this looked like she had done some customizing to the place. It was filled with well a made end table, a carefully crafted wooden chair, a chest of drawers and a finely crafted wooden framed full bed. The lights were intentionally dimmed with an amber hue that make the yellow in her dress and eyes glitter with a dull shimmer. All the fabric visible in the room was a dark crimson save for her pillows which seemed to be the same color as both her eyes and dress. Needless to say this place was crafted for a creature specifically for the purposes of getting that creature as much sex as they wanted.

She sat me down on the comfortable plush full bed, and backed away from me. She gave me another innocent yet happy smile as she slowly and carefully pulled up and slid down the tiny straps of gold that caressed her purple shoulders causing the dull shimmering dress to fall down to her waist and then with a little work of her paws it fell to her feet. I watched with eager eyes as the mesmerizing fabric fell and after a few moments of staring at the heap of gold fabric I realized that she was now exposed and it was only polite to look at the trusting Rhino with those nice heaving bosoms.

I carefully traveled up her legs with my eyes stopping at her crotch which was still covered by a tightly melded yellowish gold thong that hugged her camel toe giving me the teasing glimpse of her other golden treasure, a hint of moistness seeping through the material telling me she enjoyed my gaze.

I had to tear my eyes away from the glorious moist sight so I could continue to travel up her body. Her belly was a slightly off purple to the rest of her body, its gentle slight bulge both comforting and exciting, reminding me of the fem's I loved growing up, the kind with personality and intelligence that I could talk to while having a shake. They were also the types to be machines in the sack, lasting longer and fucking harder then any lithe bitch who didn't even know who the last 4 presidents were.

As my eyes continued up another realization struck me like a hard punch to the gut. I wasn't able to breath as I saw before me, in all their round and voluptuous glory, the twin towers her feminine glory in full view for my eyes to drink. The same color as her belley with already erect black nipples, looking at these things was like looking at a masterpiece of biology. They weren't the 'fat tits' many fems get when they gain weight and they weren't grossly out of proportioned fakes. These were all natural, 100% Grade A, Perfect Dutch raised sweater cows. These things made most tits I had seen before seem like wilted sacks of fat. I strayed there for far too long, gripping the sheets the entire time to force myself from getting up to say hello to my new friends, and I could tell her gaze was un-approving upon me, so reluctantly I continued on my quest. Hey don't judge me, I like a female for more then just tits but I'll be damned if I will ever apologize for staring at a perfect pair for too long, I swear I always give the fem's face the same kind of attention for longer but some times a male has the excuse to look, we aren't perfect (and perfect ones like dicks not chicks...don't know what that says about male society).

As my gaze continued up over her gentle neck and upon that beautiful face of R's I could see a hint of a blush upon her cheeks. I had just then realized why gold was this fem's color, besides being a rare find and her eyes were the same hue as her dress and (hopefully by then rather wet) panties, her eyebrows were also the same color blonde. She was an unusual and yet remarkably gorgeous and seductive Rhino.

I smiled as I stared into her eyes and softly spoke, "beautiful, you are an amazing fem Ms. R." I know corny right? I'm not smooth but I speak what I feel is the truth always, well always when it comes to females and sex.

She blushed even deeper, surprising me a little since she didn't seem embarrassed, perhaps it was the alcohol or her arousal, as she tucked her paws behind her and smiled down at me with that impish cute smile she had. "Aw Lynn I bet you say that to all the fem's you see partially naked."

"My dear you may not know it but you are one of the wonders of this humble cougars world, you have the curves of a goddess, the face of an angel...a purple horned angel...but that's not the point. You look damn good." Told you I wasn't smooth.

She giggled at my fumbling of thoughts, caused by the release of hormones that were currently both fogging my mind and making my slacks into a mobile home for midgets. She carefully brought her knees to the carpeted floor as she slowly crawled up to my legs, "You are an interesting Male Lynn, you look like you have the stuff to take a fem like me home," she then started crawling up my legs, "you are the gentleman, but are not lying about your feelings."

Then slowly, she began taking off my belt as my body was paralyzed fixating on her skillful work, barely struggling with the clasp, "yet you still are at a loss for words when trying to give me a compliment."

She deftly pulled off my slacks and my underwear in one foul swoop, both disappearing off my body in a flash as my ready, eager and waiting cougar meat emerged into the chilled air. R then rose to her feet and gently pushed me on to my back grasping the base of my throbbing malehood with her other paw, "now lets see how Americans like Dutch hospitality, oh and the name is R, drop that Ms. thing..." With that she brought her muzzle to the tip of my pole and gave it a quick lick with her raspy tongue.

I would have gone right then and there if it weren't for my years of practice at such things, though it did feel mind bogglingly amazing. It was then that my sense returned as she worked my shaft with her paw and teasingly engulfed the tip and some of the shaft. While she worked me I moaned a little, tossed the occasional, "mmm...yeah right there R," into it and placed a paw on the back of her bald head. I wasn't faking it, it felt amazing, I just wasn't going to get off though I didn't want her to stop what she was doing and I had experience with fem's who would stop if I did what I normally did and just breath heavy and focus on the pleasure.

She was talented I'll give her that, but for all her seduction, amazingly hot body and cute demeanor she wasn't that great at BJ's. I'm not complaining though, any fem willing to sick my dick in their muzzle is a keeper, but all this meant for my purposes was that I was going to have to return the favor which wasn't bad at all.

After a bit I tugged on her ear as a sign that she had done enough for me and it was time to come up for air. She looked up at me after slipping her muzzle off my still raging hard male meat, giving me a inquisitive look as I smiled down at her. I gestured with a finger that she come up and join me on the bed.

The Rhino fem carefully crawled up onto the bed up to my reclined head, resting with her knees on the bed staring down at me with that same confused look on her face. Maybe it was because I hadn't been close to shooting my seed down her talented throat and had called her off or maybe it was the fact that my fedora was still on my head just smashed a bit in the back. "Don't worry R, I just wanted to save the best for last. But before that..." I clumsily got my full body on to the bed and managed to give her a playful shove on to her back.

She giggled as she fell backwards and before she had a chance to make a joke or ask what was happening I placed my fedora on her reclined head, just over her eyes so she couldn't quite see. When she tipped the hat up she discovered my clothes were gone and I was staring at her between her legs with a smug smile. "...I want to return the favor, just sit back and enjoy."

I took my time from there, working her panties off revealing long strands of juice that had been attached to the inside of the material, holding back her excitement from ruining her carpet. Then admiring the small trimmed gold bush she had over her wet and ready orifice before getting down to work. Like I said she was already excited so it didn't take much work from my tongue to find and tease her clit while some of my paw digits worked the inside of her slick warmth and finding the small rough g-spot.

I lost track of the amount of times my paws and tongue caused that Rhino to buck and squeal, or the times I felt her opening tighten up over my probing fingers as she silently screamed in ecstasy. Listen if it sounds like I am tooting my own horn that's because I am.

Sex is what I am good at, long, nasty, hard, exhausting sex, not the quick wham-bam-thank you kind. I like to see my partner be unable to move for several minutes after I am finished plying my talents, besides it being kind of funny to hear nothing but pants and whispering words out of a female it makes me proud to know she has experienced what most males fail to give their partners, more orgasms then years in their lives.

When I was finished my arms were sore and my jaw was tired but to see the sweating slumped beauty with a smile on her face, her tongue lulling out of her mouth and the soft whispers of something in Dutch filled me with pride. I waited a moment giving her the first real kiss of the evening while she lay exhausted, a firm passion filled but tender kiss between us.

When we broke she carefully got to her knees her strength depleted from the gracious attention I gave her for the past half an hour. "Your good..." She said still catching her breath some. "...are all Americans like you?"

I laughed a bit as I shook my head, "no, most of them wouldn't have lasted past the front door before ruining their pants and passing out." If you are offended then you are one of those people, deal with it and see a shrink or something don't bother me.

We both shared a quick laugh before laid back down exposing her ripe, fully lubricated and sensitive sex and gesturing me to start the final act of this little rendezvous. I smiled and crawled up between her legs, my paws resting on either side of her head and carefully inserted my painfully erect member into her wet, hot and demanding femhood. It was rather easy to enter but I was unaware of the heat she was capable of so I gasped very audibly as I passed my head into her. I took it slow, savoring the feelings that overtook my member as each part entered. God it felt good to get back in the saddle, especially with this goddess of sex.

As I hilted I let out another gasp, my entire malehood was engulfed in the flames of her loins and damned did it feel good. I looked down at her own twisting face, her eyes narrowed and her breath audible as she rode the feeling my cougar member gave her.

I was glad I had asked her about testing for STD's and the like before we even got to her place because I wouldn't have had the mental capacity to ask before I dove right in. Though I did realize at that moment there was something rather annoying that I forgot to ask about, protection. I wasn't about to make mixed babies with this goddess right now, I doubt she would want that either, but I so badly wanted to have the feel of finishing in her and not in a latex glove.

My mind raced as I began to thrust in and out at a steady medium pace, her moans and gasps not helping my reasoning ability. I fought back the urge to release with every fiber in my being as I continued and I have some strong fibers. We moved from missionary to doggy and a few in between positions each more pleasurable then the last. Our bodies entwined, sweats rolling down our bodies the cries for glee and the moaning of our names equating what it must be like to be in heaven. Yet, no matter how I wanted to I prevented myself from getting my own orgasm, from reaching my peak of bliss. My partner had no such qualms with her own state of bliss so as the night went on and the daylight drew near she had been among the clouds the entire time.

Finally she wanted to try something she hadn't done successfully yet, well at least she said she hadn't been able to at least. She had me recline as she face away and carefully brought her overly sensitive and still very hot sex over my desperate cock. She controlled the pace as she rode me reverse cowgirl style leaning back for me to grasp and feel her perfectly proportioned melons in my paws.

Seeing as she controlled the pace I sat back and enjoyed. Her breath and moaning mimicking my grunts and whispers of sweet nothings into her ears as she arched back. I had forgotten all about trying to control myself at that point and decided to go for broke. As I met her thrusts at an equal pace it seemed we were at pace to release at the same time. I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands over her lovely shaped purple mummeries as I released, feeling her own body quiver and tense as I shot my long restrained seed into her. It was both rewarding and terrifying making the mood even more arousing.

It took a few minutes for all the pent up seed to finish spewing forth but even after the last of it stopped neither of us wanted to break our sudden connection. She flipped over onto my chest with out taking me out just to snuggle close to my body. My cock, as it likes to do in these situations, remained firm and in its place ready for more, though my mind didn't agree. We snuggled in silence for a while until I finally got up the nerve to ask the painful question, "are you...protected?"

She looked up at me with that cute confused look of hers for a few seconds before her eyes lit up with realization and she pointed to the chest of drawer. Fully expecting to see a condom or something like that, some sort of protective equipment we forgot. I was in a moment of panic before realizing the thing she was pointing to was a small pill case, the kind fems had for just this type of fun. With a huge sigh of relief I snuggled close to my purple beauty. Yet before I could nod off she started giggling as I looked up at her she had a big goofy grin on her face, "sorry, I like doing that to males, makes my experience better over all." Needless to say I was both offended and aroused at the same time. She had managed to make me fuck for hours knowing full well why I wasn't loosing myself into her. My expression must have betrayed me because she quickly caressed my muzzle promising some more equal action if I stayed for a few more days then I was planning. So, still in her warmth, I nodded off to sleep dreaming of the next few days adventures with this purple goddess of lust, passion and love.

When we woke up later in the morning we had a few more now guilt free sessions before getting up to do normal things like eat and relax. Needless to say my remaining stay in the city was filled with great memories, though those are for a different time. I do have to say though, the Netherlands are much more then beer, legal pot and hookers. The plump, free fems and their wily ways are the best attraction in Europe.