My Happiness - Chapter 3 (Cody's Past)

Story by GrayPixel on SoFurry

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#3 of My Happiness

Sorry it's been a while. Been dealing with some stuff In Real Life so I decided to make this chapter about Cody and his past. It's not relating to me but to a friend who had recently lost her best friend due to cancer, I pay my respects for her friend and mourn for her. I will be posting more now so I'm hoping to get the next chapter done ASAP. I'll probably have some mistakes but I made this last night and I've been busy at work all day so no time to revise. You can point out my mistakes and give criticism, it would be most appreciated.

Hope you enjoyed and I will see you all next chapter.

Cheers!


After 5th period, Cody went straight to lunch. The school and hallways were pretty crowded, as he walked down the stairs of one of the several school buildings he saw a large group in the middle, specifically right at the bottom of the stairs. He couldn't get passed them since they were blocking the exit, but a handful of students managed to get passed easily. The large group consisted of large furries and girls, they were chatting away endlessly about clothes, dating, where they'd catch their movie, and so on. Cody slowly walked down the stairs, hoping that the group would ignore him like they have to every other student that crossed their paths.

He looked over the rail of the stairs and saw a herd of students enter the lunch room, it looked impossible to even get through the doors. At this rate, he'd probably have nothing to eat. He walked down past the large herd of students that formed the group, they pushed and shoved him a few times after accidentally bumping into them. Even after saying sorry to them, they probably weren't that friendly after all.

The doors to enter the lunchroom were still packed with kids attempting to squeeze in through the sides, it seemed hopeless. Cody saw a few kids getting crammed in the crowd, he also saw a kid hyperventilate, probably claustrophobic. He peered through the windows of the lunch room, it was pretty big, not too small like his old schools lunch room. He noticed the very left corner another entrance to the lunch room. He went around the lunch building and went straight towards the door. He looked around making sure no one saw him, since the sign on the door specifically said 'Staff Entrance ONLY' in big bold letters. He wasn't illiterate and never broke the rules, but he didn't want to die crammed between the body of students and smelling the intoxicating pits while trying to get into the lunchroom.

He opened the door slowly, it made a *creak* sound, luckily it wasn't loud enough for anyone to hear. He quickly went into the large cafeteria and went towards one of the lines. He saw an abundant amount of small tables scattered within the cafeteria, all of them were filled with different kind of students. The cafeteria wasn't exactly the 'ideal' cafeteria, the cafeteria actually looked atrocious.

The cafeteria looked dull on the inside, the walls were completely blank with nothing but scratches and marks and white paint, the ceiling was leaking a purplish color in one of the corners -- he did not want to know what the purple substance was. There was a monotonous repetition of lunch trays being slammed along with what seemed like an endless heinous volume of chatter. There was a musky aroma the smelled of strong mustard and ketchup emerging from the lunch lines accompanied with a sticky substance just sitting on the floor near the trash cans. There were people eating, food on the floor, kids misbehaving, teachers screaming, and food fights. This was the mere definition of a Lunchroom Hell.

Cody put his sweater over his nose and went to get his lunch. The aroma made his eyes sting as he walked outside with one arm covering his nose and the other holding his tray. The tables outside were also full so he decided to sit on the stair cases. There was no one else around and it would be a good time to relax for a while. He placed his tray to his side and took of his sweater. It was supposed to be raining today but it was a 100+ degrees out here. He was eager for the rain, Cody had always loved the rain. But the suns scorching rays made it impossible to enjoy his peaceful without feeling like bacon on a frying pan.

I stared at my lunch tray, the only good thing to eat was a cookie and my milk. But I didn't dare drink my milk, it was frozen to the core, it was probably as solid as cement by now. The rest of his lunch consisted of a soggy hot dog with ketchup splattered onto it, and the worst part was that there was ketchup juice mixed with mustard all over the bun. He took the cookie from the wrapper and stared to eat it. It actually had a good taste, milk would have gone great with it... would have.

He looked over the students sitting around the quad of the school. Everyone was unique and had their own personality, they got to dress how ever they want and be who they wanted to be. There were a couple of girls with an intricate type of hair color style, it looked like a rainbow type of color. Then you saw guys with tanktops and ripped jeans, he wanted to wear that, too. But Cody was stuck wearing the casual stuff, a collared shirt with jeans and his hoodie sweater. He looked at his arms, he never knew he had muscle on his arms until he took of his sweater. His sweater always concealed his arms and his fur, so that's probably why. Maybe if he started working out more, he could be like one of the jocks on the football team. But he never had an interest in football, he'd fit well into soccer, maybe.

But Cody wanted to be unique, too. Everyone saw him like an innocent school fur that looked fragile, but there was more to Cody than what met the eye. Hidden underneath the pressure that held his true self was a mirrored image of him, determined to express himself freely as he chose, he didn't want to live a lie as a fake and follow his fathers expectations.

Unfortunately, there were problems he'd have to deal with if he did express himself, he'd have to come out. That was his biggest fear, but he decided to ignore it when ever it crossed his mind. If he started thinking about it too much, it would manifest its self into a big problem he'd have to deal with everyday and will probably lead to depression. But all of that changed when he met Gray this morning. Gray was probably everything Cody would have hoped for. He was tall, funny, cute, sweet, and unexpectedly caring. But nonetheless, he was probably into girls or already had a girlfriend.

He continued to eat his cookie until the bell rung. It seemed Gray was no where to be in sight. Cody sighed in disappointment and walked towards his next class. He was hoping for school to end soon, he couldn't stand another minute of it without Gray..

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Finally school was over, Cody was finally at ease as he exited the doors of the high school. He took out his phone and promptly called his father to pick him up.

"Hello?" A deep voice said.

"Hey Dad, I need you to come pick me up, school's over." He says, heading towards the grassy field.

"Oh, is that now?"

"Yeah, it's now."

"I'm sorry son, I'm stuck in traffic right now for about 3-6 hours. I won't be home until 10, had an emergency. Can't you take the bus?" He asks

His paws started to shake in nervousness. "N-No, none of the buses stop near the house..."

"Sorry son, you'll have to ask someone. Sorry." His father then hung up. Cody was terrified, he didn't know anyone else at this school because he isolated himself from others. The only person he knows is Gray, and he's not here right now! He looked around and saw that the school was almost empty, most of the kids had already left but few stayed around chatting with their friends.

He sat down on the side walk and heard yelling coming from the football field. He looked over and noticed that the football team was at practice. He was thinking of going over and asking Gray for a ride, but that'd just disrupt his practice and his focus. He knows that he plays an important spot on the team, and he didn't want to seem like a burden. So he just decided to wait until his dad came along, besides, it's not like he had anything to do. He threw his backpack on the grassy field and lied down. The grass felt soft for some reason, along with the hard cold earth on his back. This was going to be a long few hours. He closed his eyes and allowed the depths of his mind to consume him.

"Hey Cody" A voice said echoing. Cody groaned and ignored the voice. "Codyyyy?" He heard the voice again, this time he felt a shake. "Huh. Wha?" he said getting up reluctantly. He wiped his eyes with his paws and looked at the tall figure standing in front of him. "Wha?" Cody managed to spit out, he was still trying to see clearly, his mind felt foggy for some reason. After his mind was cleared, he looked up again and saw Gray. "Hey Cody, why are you tearing up?" Cody was confused, he was tearing up? He wiped his eyes and saw he really was tearing up.

"I'm not sure." He said grabbing his backpack. He got up and stretched his arms and legs and groaned. It was almost getting dark, It seems he took a nap for a good while. "Almost gave me a heart attack there, I thought you were dead for a second there.. Anyways, what are you doing here? It's getting dark, shouldn't you be at home?" Cody looked down, his mood turned dark. He looked disappointed, he had a cold look in his eyes.

"M-my dad can't pick me up right now. He's stuck in traffic for a good few hours so I'm stuck here with no ride.. I was thinking of just waiting it out, I don't have anything else to do, anyways." He says looking at the floor, he felt guilty for being a burden.

Gray looked at him in astonishment. "Well why didn't you just call me or come over to me, I would have taken you home." Cody looked up at Gray's eyes, he was too scared to answer. He was twiddling with his paws and cleared his throat. "W-well I didn't want to feel like a distraction or burden and plus you were really focused. I didn't want to interrupt you during practice, that's just rude and you're an important player on the team, s-so I didn't want to bother you." He looked down, he hated his anxiety around Gray.

"Cody please, it's fine. Want to go walk around the park for a bit? I mean it's almost dark but you know, I like sitting in the park to clear my mind." He nods in agreement and both boys walk down off the parking lot and towards the park. Luckily the park was right near the school, so it wasn't too long of a walk. The boys found a park bench down the narrow pathway that was surrounded with trees blooming with life.

Both boys sat on the bench in silence. Cody was staring at the sky, he liked staring at the sky because he can clear his mind and imagine all sorts of stuff just by looking at the beauty of the sky. He sighed in exasperation. He looked pretty glum and disappointed. "Hey Cody, something wrong?" Cody adjusted in his seat, he didn't want want to rant too much.

"No, I'm okay." He continued to stare up at the sky. "Cody, you know I'm stubborn. Now come on, tell me what's wrong." Cody started to grip his knees, his facial expression turned rather dark.

"Well..." Cody managed to say. "Looking at the stars in the sky reminded me of my mom."

"Is your mom busy working some where?" He asks

"No, my mom died when I younger." He had never brought up his past or anything about his mom, not even his dad allowed him to do it. His father never even came to her funeral, he was 'too busy work' to show up at his owns wife funeral. He hated his father, he despised him to very depths of his heart. When ever he thought about it, he'd feel a pain in his heart that would last for a long time.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for asking. I should haven't asked that. I hope I didn't make the situation worse."

"No, it's fine. It's just, when I was younger my mom and I used to go outside and lay on the grass and look at the stars. Even though it was still a bit bright outside, we would be able to see the stars. They were beautiful, they reminded me of her. She would always talk about the stars and how they represented each one of us. When ever we found the big star, she always said that I was the biggest star. She said I had a lot of potential to do great things, meet new people, and people would like me. She always told me to be myself, but it seems that that isn't going to happen as you can see. But she died a little while later, so I decided to look at the stars every day for the rest of my life to remember her. She was the best mother I've ever had, I wish she was still here, but life will throw unexpected curves at you, sooner or later it had to happen. It was funny though, she knew me really well. I used to be obsessed with necklaces when I was younger, I'd always wear dozens of them around my neck, it was like a hobby to me, in an odd way. Both boys turned silent for a moment.

Gray looked over at Cody. "Something the matter?" Cody asks.

"No, I just didn't know how bad it was. Hey, want to head over to a cafe down the street? It's not too far from here, it's awfully close." Gray says pointing down the lane.

"Sure, I'm in." He replies.

"Great, my cars parked over there," He says pointing to the very end of the dark parking lot. Both boys walked over to the car, Gray opened opened the door for Cody and made sure he was in safely and comfortable. Gray walked over to the drivers side and got in. He turned on the engine and they were on their way. The moon glistened in the sky as the car made its way down the lane towards the cafe.

"So you want anything to eat or drink?" I'm payin'." Gray says looking over the beatifully, brown decorated menu of the cafe. The cafe had a soft and sweet aroma of coffee, it smelled alluring and it left a delightful taste in their taste buds. Cody didn't like coffee too much, it had a bitter taste to it but the it had an invitingly warm smell that filled the atmosphere. Cody had tasted coffee before, it tasted really bitter. The aroma took over his senses as he brought the cup over to his lips he inhaled the strong undeniable sense of coffee he was about to drink. He took a sip and it tasted absolutely bitter, but he would admit that the scent was delectable.

"Hmm, I'll just take some hot chocolate. I have felt kind of cold" Cody said "But you don't need to pay, I'll pay for myself."

"No please, it's fine. You know how much of a stubborn person I am."

The waitress came over and took their orders. A few moments passed by as the boys drowned themselves in silence. They blankly stared at each other but quickly looked away, it turned into a really awkward situation.

"Uhm, well, can I ask you something?" Gray said breaking the silence. Cody nodded, he noticed Gray looked a bit uneasy. "If you don't mind answering, what exactly happened to your mom? You don't have to answer if you choose not too."

"Well, it's a bit of a long story."

"I've got time."

"Well, it all started when I was about 7 or 8, I honestly don't remember that clearly. My mom used to tell me that that it's important to take time to reflect on the most important events of our lives. Anyways, it all began when I was young. My mom got a little cough and sore throat, it was the regular kind of sick everyone would get. We thought it would go away easily with some medicine and rest, but after 3 weeks the sore throat and cough wouldn't go away. My mom decided to go to the doctors hoping that the doctors could figure out what was wrong with her and prescribe her some medicine.

My parents left for the doctors appointment and I went to the school. The appointment was around 8:30 in the morning which was the same time school would open for breakfast. I went to school and got through it look a breeze, but when I got back from the bus ride, my parents hadn't returned. Of course I cried because I was still young, so I decided to wait in front of the door. An hour or two later, my parents came back home and told me the news. I was still young and didn't know what she meant, but the only thing she told me were 3 words. "I have cancer". Would the mother I knew and loved, the one who raised me from birth, the one who knew how to cook steak, be gone from my life forever? My mom told me to rest assure because she said she was going to be okay. And in fact she did, my mother was the type of person with determination and hope, but I'm the opposite because I have anxiety and uncertainty. That hope and determination helped through the years, after 3-4 years of battling with cancer she finally beat it and was cleared from all cancer. It seemed like things were getting back to normal and we would be a normal family again, but as anyone who battled cancer knows, it doesn't go away forever.

People knew that cancer would always find its way back even though you've battled it, you always live with possibility of it coming back. And with my mothers case, the cancer did come back. She was diagnosed with lung cancer which affected her drastically. Our family was devastated, but when I saw my father, he didn't have any type of facial expression. We thought we had won, we thought she had beaten the cancer, but we were too optimistic and my mother was forced to battle with the pain all over again. And while she fought on, she wasn't as successful as the last time, sadly. That time of my life was really difficult. I got distracted in school, my grades went down, I started dealing with expression and all sorts of horrible stuff. But when ever I went to visit my mother, I couldn't stand to look at her. Just looking at her in pain and agony, being concealed by masks from an oxygen tank, and having multiple shots on her every week.

Her lungs started collapsing and the condition worsened. She started to sleep more, she didn't talk as much as she did before. My mom, who used to be a blooming flower full of life was suddenly stricken by sickness and pain. We could have gone to an amusement park and enjoyed the rides together as a family, but instead, cancer decided to take everything from her. Everyday I wondered how much time she had left, I always wondered why it couldn't have been me to take her place. My mom cherished every second of her life every time I visited her, knowing that things really weren't getting better.

The cancer started to spread quicker and he started to fell tired and fatigued. When I was visiting my mother that day, she was hooked up on a life with her eyes closed. I was packing my backpack and stuff and was ready to head out since visiting hours were over, but my mother called out to me. I knew that you could never leave a room without saying "I love you" and so I turned back and sat next to my mom. I touched her cold pale skin and told her, "I love you, mom." I tried to hold back the tears, but my mother put her arm on my face. She told me that my face was fuzzy and soft, just like how she always imagined when she wanted a child. I backed away from her, I felt guilty then. She was on the verge of death and I just backed away from my own mother, but I couldn't handle it. I didn't want to lose her, not my mother. I looked down at the floor, I was crying silently. My mother then called to me once more.

"Cody" her voice was raspy. I tried ignoring her call, but she persisted.

"Cody" I finally obeyed and went over to her side. My face was a mess, I didn't want her to see me like this.

She touched my face again, I didn't mind, I just didn't want to lose her. "You know you're my favorite pup and always be. I cherished our time together, I will never forget that. You've made me the happiest mother in the world, I couldn't ask for more."

I hated her for saying that, I knew what she was doing and what was going to happen. But I kept denying it, I didn't want to hear her say that. She pointed at a box in the corner of the room on the table. "Go fetch that box for me." I got up and grabbed the wrapped box and brought it over. It read _From: Mom To: My pup. _

"Go on, open it up." I followed her instructions and opened the neatly wrapped box. I threw the wrapper to the side and opened it up, and inside it I found a necklace. It wasn't an ordinary necklace, the necklace was beautifully painted red and read 'My Pup' with a heart next to it. I looked over at my mom who was smiling, smiling for the first time in months. I tried holding back the tears but I couldn't hold it any longer, I sobbed on my mothers stomach. She ran her fingers gently through my hair and said her final words.

"You'll always be my pup." At approximately 12:50 am, my mother had passed away while I was holding her hand. The doctors came rushing in attempting to resurrect her, they tried CPR on her countless times, but nothing worked. I was stricken with astonishment, I just witnessed my mother die. My family and cousins were trying to comfort me by telling me it was okay, I ran out screaming with tears running down my face. I left the hospital building and ran away from it as fast as I could. I stopped at a park and just buried my face into the ground, sobbing onto the cold hard earth. I didn't want to accept that she had died, but she did.

My mother was gone. I held myself tightly, I was still amazed that the mother who had given me and cared for me so much would never walk me to school. We would never go to the park and get ice cream, we would never share cherishable moments. She would never hug me again, I would never hear her say I love you, or hear her call me her pup. She was gone. And there was nothing I could do about it. But I always did wear the necklace she gave me, it was the only memory or piece of her that I have left that she physically gave to me.

And yet a day still doesn't go by, I kept telling myself this was just all a bad dream and I'd wake up soon. I was hoping my mind was tricking me, I was hoping to wake up soon and see my mother at the edge of my bed, waiting for her to hug me. I wanted to wake up, but happiness doesn't last forever. I had to accept that, but I knew I would never find my happiness ever again...

TBC.