Midline Shift 35 - An Unconscious Truth

Story by Z-JAM-C on SoFurry

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#35 of Chronicles of FinalGamer 24 - Midline Shift

The final barrier of denial that Roy could overcome from his opponent, which he believed was the only thing left stopping him from finding out the truth, has now left him with an even greater question beyond it. Is there a deeper truth to the death of his parents?

Who was manipulated in the end between the two of them?

How many lives were truly taken by James' own hand as opposed to the demon itself inside of him?

For the one who claims to be a knight of justice, he must now find himself upon a long and winding road towards the real truth, one that does not involve James in the near future.

Mass Effect copyrighted to Bioware, FinalGamer to me


"James?" A voice called out to him from far away, far beyond the reaches of space as he tried to comprehend. He felt nothing underneath, nothing above or below as if trapped within purgatory of the senses, his sight beyond reckoning as an infinite black overwhelmed him. "James." Yet he could still hear, a voice that sounded warm and curious, worrying but content. He tried smiling but the pain inside made him hurt from doing so. His efforts wer in vain as he gasped out silently, wanting to hear more. Wanting to respond to him. His eyes could not open, his voice swallowed up by the darkness still for the first few attempts that he made. "James, please, answer me." He kept trying to speak, his voice turned soft by weakness, his lips unmoving at first until they struggled to form shapes. A gasp came from him, his first sound as he felt the voice turn towards him. It was not the voice he had heard before in his dreams, but perhaps one other that he knew. "James, are you alright?" "...Koopin? Koopin where are you?" A long silence met him before the voice would speak again, one almost hesitant to reply to him. "......I'm here James. It's okay, I'm here." "...I failed Koopin. I failed to stop him." "Who?" "That thing inside me...I'm sorry...I...I tried to do it, I tried but-" "It's alright James. You're hurt...you need to rest." "Am I there with you?" "...yes." The voice turned mute with anxiety, causing him to panic slightly as the world changed around him. The ceiling wasn't high up, a warm yellow sight that resembled butter. He watched softly, seeing things start shifting from the corner of his eye. A lamp was seen to his left, a wooden dresser on his right, the plush feeling of a bed underneath comforting him as he saw a doorway towards a kitchen in the far right corner. He started to calm down swiftly, his hot breath rolling across the air as he saw someone he missed. Someone he had been wanting to see for a long time. "Koopin...you're really here." "I'm here James...it's okay." "Hhhhh...oh god...ohhh I missed you so much." The bright blue pupils reflected sweetly down upon him, perched upon a large yellow beak that he always found adorable. He reached up towards him, a hand on his cheek as he stroked softly along the yellow skin. But he saw the koopa flinch, slightly stiffening before realising and holding the hand against his cheek. He noticed it clearly. "What's wrong?" "N-nothing...I...I need to ask you something. Something that's...something that's been bothering me for a long time." "I couldn't do it...I...I thought I was able to, I was so close. All I had to do was just...give up those scissors, just...give them away, let them rot and store somewhere properly while safe from everyone. That way...that way no one would...no one could touch them ever again. But I couldn't do it...I couldn't...I couldn't do anything. All those people are dead because of me." "No...n-no, don't say that, you weren't the one that-...I know you didn't." "How do you know?" "I...u-um...because I can see you didn't, from the look in your eyes." "How can you even know what I have and haven't killed? I told you about Rogueport...I told you." "Rogue...port? ...oh...James...listen-" "I know you don't forgive me...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

He finally began to weep, taking his hand from Koopin's cheek and clasping it over his eyes struggling to hold back his tears. Whimpering pleas came babbling forth like a stream on a cold April morn, pouring with grief in this space of time as the room turned colder. "I had to...I-i had to please him...I couldn't say no, I couldn't, he would have killed you like he almost did...I wanted to keep you safe. I wanted to-" "I know. Look, I know, I understand, I-" "NO YOU DON'T! YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD, YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD NOT FORGIVE ME! And I deserve that! I KNOW that...th-that you...you couldn't...I don't deserve your love..." "N-no, no hey, listen, I don't...I...I never wanted any of this. I never did. But you and I are bound together, now and forever even. I can't ignore that, and no matter what you did, if you are genuinely willing to make amends and repent...or-" "Repent? ...I can't repent...I lost myself to a demon, more than enough times that I can't...I thought I was free...I thought it would finally end and all I wanted was to get back home...but I'm just a puppet. A fucking monster's toy." "I don't think you are." "N-no?" Koopin shook his head, the raptor opening his eyes once more as he watched his lover speak, his eyes in turn now staring through him. "You are responsible for your OWN actions. You are responsible for what YOU did, not what that monster did. That much I can tell you. If you did things by your own hand and consciousness, then that's what you should be paying for, or making amends for. Not for what that...thing, did to you." "You...you really think that? That's what you...believe?" "I do...I want to. I need to." "Need...to?" "...for my own sake. I need to ask you something. Something that's been bothering me for a long time." "Anything." "Do you promise not to lie to me? I need the absolute truth from you, I don't want any half-truths or suppositions or technicalities, I want the straight-up truth. Promise me." "I swear...I promise." "...did you kill Roy's parents?" "Wh-what?" "Tell me. You promised me just now, I need to know." "But...but why?" "Be-...because...b-because, I need to! I know everything else you did, all the good and all the bad, but this one thing has always just torn up my head and I need to know." "But you-" "Tell me." "You don't even know who-" "Tell me!" "How did you even know his name-" "TELL ME GOD DAMMIT!"

Koopin grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him furiously, eyes pulsating with something unseen. Something he had never known before inside them. Desperate. It wasn't normal, it wasn't what he saw in Koopin whenever he remembered, his eyes once warm and filled with goodness now piercing into his soul with mistrust. His throat started to turn tight with fear, tears welling up as his cheeks turned stained once more. "I...I-i never did...I told you...I told you before I promise." "Are you certain?" "Yes, for God's sake yes why would I lie to you about that?! After everything I've done, I almost KILLED you Koopin!" "I NEED to know, did you or did you not murder his parents?!" "NO! NO I NEVER DID! I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM, I JUST WANT HIM TO STOP FOLLOWING ME, I NEVER DID IT, I NEVER, PLEASE I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I DIDN'T!" He broke fully into tears, his eyes watered into his hands as he turned himself over whilst struggling to fall back into the depths of sleep, his heart aching with both grief and terror stabbing deep inside of him. Koopin simply watched from behind him, lost without thought as he listened to James' words. "I never hurt him...I-i never, I don't even know who he is or where he's from, I just...I wanna help him...I wanna...I wanna help everyone now...I don't wanna be a monster...I know I was an asshole before but I'm sorry, I'm sorry Koopin I'm sorry!" "N-no no, just...it's okay. It...I needed to ask you, I'm...I'm sorry James." "No...no don't, just don't say you're sorry...you're not the monster here. You never were." "None of us are perfect." "BULLSHIT! You're perfect...you...you were always perfect to me. You made me want to be a better person, I turned my back on everybody else! I abandoned Sarah, I gave up on Glenn's teachings half the time I've been out on this journey, after all the shit I been through! I RAN AWAY FROM FRIENDS WHO NEEDED ME TO STICK BY THEM! Gunther...Sam...all of them...I'm just a fucking shit, just a murderer like he said I was! But you...god you were the only one I...I don't want to lose you...I...oh god...hoh god I miss you...I don't deserve you but I miss you so much..." His hands wrapped tighter around himself, the blanket turning tight around him as he coiled the fabric within his claws, weaving himself a small coccoon from the bed to try and disappear within. Koopin softly touched him upon his shoulder, pulling him back towards him as he heaved with quiet sobs. "I know you will do the right thing. I trust you." "You do?" "Yes. Now go back to sleep. Please. You've gone through enough, I...I think you need some time alone." "Yes...yeah...I'm...so tired. Koopin?" "Hmm?" "Will you...will you kiss me? Just...just one more time? So I don't forget about you." "...I know you won't James." "Please...I'm scared...p-please..." The look of hesitation upon Koopin's face was brief, fading away after a short swish of the head as he cleared his breath once, nodding softly before moving over towards James. He bent over the raptor's body and brought up his lips towards him. A moment of uncertainty remained before Koopin mustered the strength to push forward, his kiss soon sealed within that soft beak.

Dancers upon the floor forced apart by the crowd, hands reaching out between bars desperate to touch each other. Tongues between closed lips wanting to kiss, to taste, to embrace one another. But they only needed to touch once, the brush of fingers upon the other hand to feel the warmth that he wanted. The warmth James needed. He sighed happily before falling asleep fully, the abyss calling out for him as he faded back to darkness. As he soon faded away, the world around him changed smoothly. Colours began to turn cold and clinical, paleing into grey as the warm red bed was soon replacd by cool blue sheets. The room fluctuated towards square and cornered, far different from the smooth and circular of Koopin's home. The light of the window became the deepness of space. And in the very centre of it all, within a backdrop of steel walls, stood a tall black raptor before him, kneeling upon his bed just inches from his face. His lips dared not breathe upon James as he broke his kiss from his enemy, his mind churning with emotions he wished never to have felt. Hate and vengeance came rising forth, but at the same time came remorse and confusion biting upon their heels, the end finding only a strange regret. But what was it that he felt regret for? Himself? His enemy? The lover of his enemy? He had no moral compass to guide him now, his one sense of true reasoning now lost within the cold steel infinity of outer space. And yet here he was, standing with his own enemy perfect to kill, but he could not raise his hand against him. Instead, he walked out of the room with his frayed throughts, his eyes robbed truly of reason as James laid unconscious beneath the sheets, still wearing his armour whilst breathing softly. He watched himself walk slowly towards the family table, his right arm bandaged with bite marks fresh beneath the shoulder as he sat opposite Khern. The monstrous shadow sweeping across the lone table in the very centre of the ship. A thin pair of eyes cold and reptilian stared upon him, yellow like two suns hanging over the many planets he had once crossed. Even before Roy seated himself he found them staring at his head, the large krogan overwhelming in his presence despite holding a small cup of hot chocolate, roasting in his claws. "How is he?" asked Khern. "Seems fine, restin'...still mumblin' in his sleep, looks lahk shit though from whut little ah see of his body not covered up." "Hmm. Modified it seems. Hermetically-sealed. Wonder why." "...he told me he didn't kill 'em." "Mmm?" "When he wuz knocked out, all dreaming an' such in his state, he thought he wuz talkin' to his boyfriend, his lover, saying he wuz sorry, beggin' for forgiveness, beggin' to change himself. Got right down to thuh real root of his honesty while he wuz in sum kinda trance. Ah heard bits an' pieces of whut he wuz sayin', not got all of it but close enough to whut ah could hear." "That's very deceitful of you...heh, I like it." "Ah know, ahm not proud of it but ah had an opportunity. 'specially after Calun told me he had a little sumthin' special for that kinda shit." "Ahh yes, the hallucinogens. Drugging a confession out from your target, that's even more deceitful, you should work on a prison ship." "Hey, ah wuzn't tryin' to drug him to confess, ah wuz tryin' to TALK to him, lahk get into his subconscious state, you wanna blame someone go blame your boy Calun, he's thuh one with that nasty shit in thuh first place!" "And yet you did not refuse. You have reached the point of what things you'll do just to reach your life objective. It's not exactly murder, yet." "Believe me, ah done worse things than lie to him an' ah'd rather not speak about them. Why did Calun even have that stuff though?" "I don't know, he's a mysterious little volus." "Ah guess. "So, what did you find out from our mutual friend?" "Well...in an unconscious state it's impossible for him to lie so ah asked him. Ah asked him if he killed mah parents, killed Roy's parents rather...he said no."

Roy balled up his fists as an unconscious burning fear welled up in him, forcefully twisting itself out into rage as his eyes tightened. "Even after all this...he still says no. But that...that can't be." "And why is that?" "Because he can't be lying! He can't lie in a state lahk that, he thought ah wuz Koopin, he thought ah wuz his boyfriend an' he wuz beggin' me to forgive him! An' even then he STILL tells me he didn't do it! Which means...means that...he can't have done it. B-but that's impossible! IT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE! How thuh fuck does he not know he did it?!" The krogan was in pensive thought clasping his large mug, steaming with hot chocolate as he took in Roy's words. He nodded softly as his logic took every single possibility through his mind before a thought struck him, as he gazed into his drink. "...what if he doesn't remember?" "Huh?" "You claim that he must have killed your parents, is that right?" "Yeah, can't be anybody else, ah don't know anybody that coulda done it, he's all ah can think of!" "But he claims even in his most truthful state that he didn't. Meaning two things. Either he is not the killer...or that he doesn't remember killing them." "...whut?" "You told me that he was an experiment, that he escaped from a lab from the military and went on a rampage to escape. It's not unreasonable to think that maybe, in that time, he might have had a few blackouts or so...maybe moments where he doesn't remember what happened." "But that-...wait...wai-wai-wait that...that kinda makes sense. That...that almost makes perfect sense even." "But?" asked the krogan. "But then that means...shit. If he don't remember...then...FUCK!" He slammed his hands on the table livid with outrage. "If he don't remember, then there's no way ah can prosecute him! That's fuckin' insanity plea right there, how thuh fuck can ah even prosecute him, even punish him for bein' insane?!" "Plenty have been killed for less." "Ahm not a killer! Ahm a lawful person, ah know that kinda shit! If he wuz goin' crazy when he killed mah folks then he didn't do it in cold blood...but...but..." "But what?" "...ah don't wannit to be that. F-fuck man." Roy slumped with his head on the table, sniffling back tears of frustrated sorrow as his mind struggled to take control. "Ah dunno whut ah want anymore...whether he killed 'em cuz he wuz a punkass thief or cuz he wuz sum crazy-ass...ah don' wannit to be lahk this, why can't it be fuckin' simple fer once god dammit..." "It may not be the truth," said Khern, "but it is a possibility. There's only one person that knows truly." "Who?!" "The ones that caused all this. The ones who first made him the way he is today." "...you think...maybe ah should go back to them? Even though ah got nuthin'?" "They're not unreasonable surely, if you prove that you are still loyal to them and simply want to ask further about his personality, his background, his...self, even. Say you wanna build up a profile of him so you can better estimate him. Something like that." "Ah dunno man...ah don't wanna go back to 'em thinking that ah failed." "Who are you more afraid of? Failing the people that gave you this, or failing yourself?" "Well...mahself." "Then you owe it to yourself to know the real truth behind it." "But ah KNOW whut thuh truth is!" "If you know the real reason then why does it bother you now?" "BECAUSE HE WON'T ADMIT IT! EVEN WHEN HE CAN'T LIE TO ME HE STILL FUCKIN' W"ON'T ADMIT IT! WHUT THUH HELL DO AH GOTTA DO TO MAKE HIM TELL ME THAT HE KILLED MAH MOM AN' DAD, SO AH CAN GET THIS SHIT DONE AN' OVER WITH?!"

The krogan simply watched his face, eyes transfixed with fury as both rage and insult paralysed Roy's sneer. Yet there was something else that Khern saw in him. Something unjust, something that was not simply just righteous indignation. He raised a dark smile upon seeing it adding: "There it is." "Huh?" "There...I knew something would make you say that. Something past your typical 'knight of Daventry' exterior." "Whuh, thuh hell's that supposed to mean?!" "Are you looking for justice...or for vengeance Roy? Because it sounds to me like you are seeking more the latter than the former." "BULLSHIT AH AIN'T!" "There appears to be far more than just him involved in the death of your parents, for if that were the truth, he would easily have confessed already. But he hasn't. Even after you tried to manipulate him in his most vulnerable mental state, he has not confessed. Meaning that there are other forces at work behind his shadow." "He didn't sound crazy when he stabbed mah mom! Righ' in her fuckin' eye...he sounded angry, sounded violent...sounded lahk a bitch an' everytime ah hear that voice it makes me wanna kill him. Ah know that voice...ah know it from somewhere an' it has to be him, and all ah want right this very moment is just to finish him." "What's stopping you?" "Huh?" "He's still under, still recovering. Deaf to the world around him, blind too even. Perfectly easy prey for you to take your vengeance on him and end this pointless charade. End it. Kill him." "Wh-whut?!" "You want that don't you? Kill him!" "WHUH-NO! N-no dammit, ahm not a murderer!" "Clearly." "If ahm ever gonna kill him then ah end this in combat, fair an' damn square! An' next time he pull off any dirty tricks ahll be ready for 'em...ahll be damn well ready for him...hhhhh..." He laid his head on its side, letting the cool tabletop calm him down as his eyes blinked tightly with exhaustion on the brain, saying: "...ahm tired Khern...so fuckin' tired, ah just...ah want this all to end, AH JUST-...ah wannit all to END DAMMIT! Ah been draggin' mahself around every fuckin' world just to deal with him finally, whether he's dead or alive ah don't care anymore! ...ah just wanna go home somewhere...somewhere ah can...finally forget all this an'...find a nice...place to be." "We all do," said Khern. "You don't have a place to go back to...don't you?" "...there wuz one place." He softly thumbed his white ring, sighing slightly at what it reminded him of. Or rather who it reminded him of. Khern understood perfectly. "Then you owe it to yourself and your other to return to your benefactors and demand more answers. Then you shall be able to clear the doubt from your mind." "Other?" "I understand that look Roy. I know your heart aches to stop wandering and to finally settle down. And I believe that you should do right by it, by trying to search for the real answer. What answer there might be hidden behind those that you've met. Back before you began all this." "Alright...ah guess it's...only fair ah try to confirm shit with them one more time." "Right." "Maybe...m-maybe ah might have missed sumthin', sum kinda small detail that maybe-...maybe ahm not seein' thuh puzzle from thuh right angle." "And what do we do with our guest until then?" "Ah dunno...just...lemme think this out, ah...ah need sum tahm alone."

The raptor slowly got up, walking over towards his room and struggling to calm down, trying to relax with all the thoughts in his head violently screaming at each other. Words of malice met words of patience, blind fury versus pure wisdom. He tussled and tried everything, even contemplating asking for a little muscle relaxant or sedative just to unwind physically. But nothing came. He simply waited for five minutes, then ten, then fifteen, all without a moment's peace. His voice turned bitter as he slowly got up, snarling and walking out of his room with eyes turned to slits. He fidgeted to himself slightly, struggling to voice out the words in his brain, contemplating, twisting, rationalising, all of which failed to do so in the way he wanted. So enwrapped was he in his own mind processing that he did not even notice Calun bumping into him hard at the belly. The volus came right round the corner, his three datapads that he was holding now clattering onto the floor. "OOF!" "HHHH!" "A-awww shit um, sorry man ah wuzn't lookin', ah...l-lemme help you with that, ah-" "DON'T TOUCH THEM!" The volus shouted at him furiously before scrabbling up the datapads to himself, clutching possessively as Roy noticed one word that came up on their screens. Parnassus. He backed off slightly whilst thrown off by the outburst, saying: "S-s-sorry man jeez, wuz just tryin' to help." "It's...quite alright, my...my apologies. These are very sensitive datapads and I...hhhhh...would rather not have anything happen to them." "Ahhh, it's cool, ah understand." "How is your...friend?" "He's still sleeping." "Did my medication help?" "Not...exactly." "...I see." "As far as the mind knows, it can never lie to itself when sleeping...hhhhhh...a sleeper is a speaker of truth, and innocent always. So whatever problems you may...have about what you may hear...does not lie with that who you call your enemy." "...uh...r-right, whut does that mean exactly?" "It means...precisely what it means. Truths are an ugly business. But at least truths get the worst stuff over with shortly. The lies however...the lies only prolong the suffering...the waiting." "Are you alright?" "...I'm fine. I...I need to do some work, I'm sorry...about shouting at you." "It's fine, ah bumped into you so ahm sorry too." "Alright. Remember what I said." The volus walked into his room giving Roy the swiftest glances of the barest living quarters on the ship, as well as one large computer that spanned an entire desk. He walked away heading back towards the extra room, where James now slept. The sleeping form of his one true nemesis laid waiting, slowly softly breathing. His face looked troubled, dreams and memories came flitting across his mind's eye like moths towards the light. Shadows rose and faded beyond his reckoning, as he laid oblivious to the world all around him. Including the one person in the room who wanted nothing more than his death. "...ah could kill you. Ah could kill you so easily James." He walked forwards and placed a hand across James' chest, feeling the beating of his heart. His most hated enemy still breathed underneath, taunting him it seemed with each breath of life. His eyes glazed over slightly, tightening his lips as he gazed down upon him. "All ah ever wanted, wuz to have a good life. Ah did mah part. Ah went to school, got grades, trained mah mind an' body. Ah might not speak lahk a professor, but ah can damn well argue with them. But you...someone...someone had to take mah life away. My family. My past. ...my future. Ah know you're an orphan, and ah know that you would never understand it. But that don't mean you can't sympathise with me." His fists balled up until they turned grey, the knuckles crackling slightly from the pure flex of muscle as he struggled to resist. The urge of so many things he could do to him unconscious became harder to resist, raising a fist up high and wanting to bring it down on James' face. Just wound him once. Just a good solid punch in his smug fucking face. But something held him back, struggling with it for two whole minutes before his fist went back down, sighing harshly as he kneeled beside him. He had this moment to be with him, a rare moment where he could replace his dignity with that of mercy. He clasped his hands together, almost praying as he tried to calm himself.

"Please...p-please...ah just want this to be over James...ah don't wanna keep runnin' no more, ah just wanna go home, ah wanna BE home with mah Lizbeth, with someone, I-..." He broke down in tears beside James asleep, weeping to himself as he placed his head on the sheets. Soon however he was gripped with fury once more as his eyes burned deeply, tears streaking down his cheeks as he grabbed James' head, eyes closed up at him as Roy ranted: "Ah jus' wanna know why, that's all ah ask of you! Why did you do it?! Why did you try an' fight me?! WHY DID YOU KILL MAH FAMILY YOU SON OF A BITCH?! WHY!? WHYYYYYY!?" Screaming into James' face, his claws gripped tightly onto the raptor's head before pulling him up towards his, rubbing their heads together as Roy heaved with choking sobs. His tears dropped onto James, snout dripping as he dropped his head back onto the bed. He placed his hands slowly around the raptor's neck, firmly gripping it as his thumbs pressed up upon the larynx. "Just...end this. Ah know you did it...ah know you did. You've killed so many...ah can justify this now. I...ahll even explain it to Koopin, give him a good reason that you...died out there...ahll make him be able to move on with his life...th-that way...he won't be waitin' on you any longer...yeah...maybe-" You have always been the hero. "H-huh? ...whut...ah don't-" You were always the hero this galaxy needed. Or any other world you've known. Look at him. Look at this worthless wretch. "Ah don't, wh-whut thuh-" This pathetic little street urchin was never destined for greatness. He's a worthless killer. You have plenty of reasons to end him. So many can be avenged with one sweet snap of his brittle neck from which so many lies have come from. "No...righ'...just...one little snap...thassit. Ah even did it before...back before that demon...wait..." Yes. "I can...no..." Do it...absolve those whose lives he has taken. Do it. "N-no...yes." RELEASE ME "NOOO!" He threw his hands off and went down on his knees, crumpling with head clutched in his hands as he stared at his claws. Fear shook through him with horrible realisation. "Th-that voice...hoh god...hoh jesus I...ah can't...a-ah can't do this...hoh god dammit this...ahm not a murderer...AHM NOT A MURDERER DAMMIT!" He stood up looking clearly shaken, his eyes transfixed with fear upon James' sleeping form, like a ghost had come haunting him. "You...you're not...whutever thuh fuck you've done, you ain't gonna take me, not with that evil shit. You wanna die, you fuckin' fight me fair an' square! AHLL FIGHT YOU CUZ AHMA WARRIOR, AHMA KNIGHT GOD DAMMIT! Ah will not gonna kill nobody who can't defend for themselves. Never. When you up an' ready again...then ahll fight you."

The raptor walked out of the room and headed back towards Khern, sitting still at the table as he almost finished his mug of chocolate. The look on Roy's face said everything, as the krogan just stared through him. "You couldn't do it." "...no." "You couldn't kill him, even though you are certain that he is responsible." "But he's not attacking, he's not defending himself. Ahm not a murderer, I am a warrior, a knight, someone who fights on thuh side of justice! Ah have to extend that to all people, even thuh ones ah hate." "Hmph...you should work in C-Sec." "When he can fight for himself, then ah will fight him. But not now. Not when he's sick, that's not right. That's not justice." "So if a serial killer was in hospital, you would not kill him?" "No, ah would take him to thuh court where he can be sentenced for his crimes." "And if he managed to escape his bed whilst wildly swinging a weapon?" "Then he can fight and ah would kill him if he wuz able to defend himself." "Hmph...it's good to understand one's moral limits. Helps you find your way through life better." "Whut would you do?" "I would make sure he never was in hospital in the first place. No mercy." "Even if he can't fight?" asked Roy. "Krogans do not understand mercy. To us, mercy and the weak are simply left prey to the eternal winds. If you cannot survive on your own, then you have no right to live. You must be able to stand up yourself in order to have the right to live. Unlike you, or Calun, just because they are asleep does not make them any less of a target." "...that...is pretty fuckin' cold. Whut if you can't stand up, lahk you lost your legs or sumthin'?" "Regardless of your own flaws, so long as you have the will to live and keep fighting, you have the right to stand tall. And I mean that figuratively before you get smart on trying to turn this into some form of sociopolitical argument." "Heh...whut can ah say, ah came from Earth." "Yes...I would not expect someone like you to keep fighting while also being so benevolent. That's a rare breed of person to live in this galaxy." "Well ahm not even from here so that's mah excuse." "Doesn't matter," said Khern. "From all you told me of what you've been through, you have a unique lust for life that some in this galaxy could learn from you. I learnt that after that colony almost got wiped before you came in." "Oh...right, that."

He softly rubbed a claw on the table feeling rather subdued, offset by the recent fear as his mind tried to think back to that mission. He was too distracted to allow praise to come to him, despite the memories that flashed through him. The colony in flames, screaming humans and the sounds of gunfire, population over a few hundred. Steel crates hurled left and right before the might of a gigantic metal beast. That was only two months ago. "But you helped too. Ah mean ah just stopped them mercs from comin' in an' gunnin' everybody down but you went right on in an' dealt with a fuckin' bomb thuh size of a tank, knowing it would blow your ass to molecules! Ahm not thuh only one on this ship that's lahk that. Your girls told me all about thuh stuff you did, thuh people you saved, thuh monsters you killed, always about to get yourself killed just so sum other people can live. You thuh hero man, ahm just a traveller who don't lahk to see people get hurt." "I do it for different reasons than you." "Huh?" "There are some who dance upon the fields of life, merry and jubilant without a care and simply enjoying the sunlight, the fresh grass and soft petals whistling around their feet. And then there are those who seek death, walking towards the precipice where we all must fall into...one day." "Whut are you sayin'?" "I am saying that whatever you have that makes you happy, be sure to appreciate it far more than you would normally. Never let the passing of days wilt your love and desire for other people around you, always keep them in your thoughts...for there will come a day when you cannot enjoy such pleasures anymore." "You talkin' about you? You have your daughters, sir." "I do...for now." "...wait, why you sayin' shit all dark lahk that?" "Because I am very...very old, Roy. I am much older than you can comprehend...and while my daughters may live for much longer, they almost certainly will see my passing soon." "How soon?" "...fifty years if we're unlucky. Optimistically about...two-hundred." "Jeez, how old are you?" "...old enough to know when humans were still beating each other with rocks, not that we even noticed." "......shit...yanno, it kinda scares me how old sum people get in this world." "Then I hope you use that fear to better appreciate what you have, before it's too late. And that is what I must tell you. Do not let your obsession overshadow everything. You have a good heart, you never once questioned anything we were about to do no matter how dangerous so long as people kept safe, you speak about your love far away and how much you want to go back to her. Don't let James become the very thing that takes you off that path. Take this as a plea from an old heart." "You...you think so?" "I know so. Trust me...I know about obsessions...and what will happen if you let it control you. Go back to your employer, tell them about what you need." "They're not gonna believe me with all this world-hoppin', ah mean dimensions even, that's not even sumthin' ah could comprehend back before all this." "They don't need to know everything. Just get your facts straight, if they had been straight before all this, then you would not have been in this situation, cradling your enemy like he was your friend sick and in need of comfort." "...you're right. I...I owe it to mah family to make sure that this is who ah want. Ah just...ahm scared." "Of what?" "Losing him. ...ah don't wanna have to lose him an' start chasin' him down fer another three years, took me that long to find him thuh first tahm." "A good officer will always find their quarry. What should we do with him in the meantime?" Roy looked back towards FG still asleep in the room, sighing heavily with both frustration and resignation, knowing that he had nothing for the moment. Until he woke up, he was not in any position to fight, and he also felt stirrings of doubt start dwelling from within his heart. Eventually he answered: "...take him back to thuh Citadel, put 'im down at C-Sec, maybe he can rot in jail at least for a bit...s'not much but it'll do sum kinda justice alright, bet he's probably done enough shit around here to deserve that." "Hmph...vindictive little pyjak aren't you?" "Whutever, ahma get more hot chocolate...uh hey, ah wanna ask, Calun said sumthin' weird to me." "Oh?" "Yeah, he said...'as far as thuh mind knows, it can never lie to itself when sleeping. A sleeper is a speaker of truth, and innocent always'. ...guy is fuckin' weird." "He is. That's why he lives on this ship." The black raptor walked off to the kitchen to be alone with his thoughts, stirring a mix of hot alien chocolate that thankfully tasted just as good as regular chocolate. He saw his reflection in the dark brown briefly, stirring it away from existence before sitting down to drink. He felt as if his time in this galaxy was almost coming to an end, with only one last thing to say to it. "...she said he'd tell me...she said he'd have mah answer for me...why won't he tell me? ...why did ah even listen to a fuckin' dream in thuh first place? Whut do you want from me...why can't you tell me anything..."