The Blessing and The Curse - Part 7

Story by Henpecked on SoFurry

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#7 of The Blessing and the Curse


In all of my years of being teased and mocked at school, I never had designs on anyone in a romantic way. Why bother? If you're just going to get summarily rejected, and then subjected to even more ridicule just for having the audacity to ask, then there really wasn't a point in wasting your emotional energy on something so clearly unattainable. I had no fantasies to build on during those quiet nights when my hormones and my left hand had my attention.

I guess that's what made me react so strongly to Gregory when he touched me in the locker room. For the first time, someone was actually attracted to me. And not just a giggling little crush, either. He wasn't trying to glance at me from across the room, blushing and darting his eyes away if I caught him. No, he openly declared his infatuation with me, and demonstrated it hours later with a single touch. Even if I didn't feel the same way about him, just the fact that I had an admirer was enough to raise my self-esteem to the point that I didn't have to care what others thought. As I walked home from school that day, I realized that that was why I was suddenly able to ignore the rest of the students and their insults. Gregory liked me. Honestly liked me. Everyone else could go fuck themselves.

My parents noticed a change in me, too. I was doing my schoolwork regularly for the first time since elementary school. I was paying more attention in class, taking better notes and even raising my hand to answer questions. My English teacher went so far as to call home to tell them how much I'd improved in the past week. They were so pleased at my rehabilitation that they lifted the rest of my punishment.

That Friday at lunch, I found Gregory in the cafeteria and told him the good news.

"That's wonderful!" he said, smiling proudly. "I'm so glad to hear that, Nick." His hand reached out to take hold of mine.

Even though I was surrounded by dozens of classmates who'd already given me plenty of grief because our supposed courtship, I didn't mind the gesture. In fact, I welcomed it. After all, Gregory had a lot to do with my turnaround. I probably would've downed those pills by now if it wasn't for him. "Thanks," I replied.

"You do realize that my invitation for you to visit my home is still open, right?" Gregory prodded.

"Good," I said. "Then we'll have a chance to get to know each other a little better."

"Of course," Gregory said back.

"But I do have to ask you a favor."

"What's that?"

"No touching."

I don't think he was expecting me to say that, as I saw his expression turn a little disappointed. Like a mother telling her child not to open a Christmas present early. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable yesterday."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just not ready for that kind of stuff yet."

Gregory took a bite out of his sandwich, and smirked. "Yet."

"Well, you know what I mean," I explained. "After being such a loner for so long, I need some time before I can really start getting involved with someone. I'll be honest - I don't know if I'll ever get to that point. With you or anybody else."

"Let me ask you something, Nick. If I told you - right now - that I love you, how would that make you feel?"

"Well..." I paused. "I'm flattered. But I don't think I could say the same thing."

"Why not?"

"Because, I'm-"

"Because you're afraid," Gregory interrupted. "You're afraid of what might happen if you allowed yourself to love someone, because you fear that they'll end up hurting you. Is that right?"

It wasn't the answer I was going to give, but he wasn't entirely wrong. "Yeah, that's part of it."

"Then what's the other reason?"

"Because... I'm not gay."

"That is a decision that was made for you, not one that you made yourself," Gregory declared.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, a bit annoyed. My mind flashed back to the scene in the locker room. "Just because I got... well, hard, when you touched me, that doesn't automatically mean-"

"I realize that, Nick," Gregory said calmly. "Believe me, I understand that the body does plenty of things that the mind has no control over. But let me ask you another question. How many people in your life have you ever loved, whether or not they loved you back?"

I made a quick count in my head. "Well, my parents are two..."

"I don't mean on a platonic level, Nick. I mean true love."

"Well then, nobody."

"Precisely. You've never been in love. So how can you assume that you couldn't love another man?"

"I don't know, Gregory, it just seems... strange."

"Love by its very nature is strange," Gregory retorted. "And that's what makes it so beautiful."

Before I had a chance to argue back, the bell rang, indicating the end of the lunch period. All the students still eating started to get up from their tables and head to their next class.

"Nick, I would still like you to visit me after school today," Gregory said as he got up from the table himself. "You don't have to if you don't want to. But if you want to talk about this, or what's happened at school, or whatever else troubles you, and do it away from parents and teachers and other students and anyone else you feel may exploit what you say, then please consider my offer."

I looked Gregory in the eyes. "Only if you promise," I repeated, "that what happened yesterday doesn't happen again."

Gregory looked silently back at me for a long moment, then turned and left the cafeteria without saying a word.

PE class that day was especially uncomfortable. My augmented athletic skills had proven not to be just a passing fad, thankfully, and in a match against players from the other class going on during the period, I was actually picked on the second team, rather the bottom as I'd grown accustomed to, and did reasonably well. Not as good as the past few days, though, and much of that could be chalked up to my mind being distracted by Gregory's advances. It didn't help that the two of us had to undress side by side. Just the memory of the previous day was enough to send a dull buzz to my groin, but I willed my body to behave until all my clothes were on. Gregory didn't say anything during our uniform changes - thank God - but he was still obviously waiting for an answer from me.

As we waited by the door for the final bell to ring, I decided enough is enough. "If you can't promise me that you won't try anything I clearly don't want to do," I informed him, "then I can't go."

Gregory looked at me, and sighed. "Very well, then. I promise."

"Promise to what?" I asked, making sure that his promise agreed with what I wanted him to say.

"I promise... not to touch you if it makes you uncomfortable."

I sighed happily. "Where's your house?"