FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Steel stood before a five floor business complex, noticing the lack of cars and employees for a place so large. He shrugged and walked in, "Hello, how may I help you?" A rather large woman greeted Steel from behind a desk.

"Yes, I'm looking for... pssh... uh..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the contract, "Mike... Susanoo. Hilarious name."

"And what is this regarding?"

"Violent homicide, capturing of his soul, and a fantastic vacation alone." The blank and partially terrified stare of the secretary was enough for him to change his reason, "I mean... business stuff."

She glared in return, "Sir, if you don't leave I will call the authorities." She picked up the landline phone and put her finger over the "9" button.

Steel yawned and covered his mouth, "Oh is that right?" He leaned over the desk, "Just hit that button, than the other two. And while you're at it, call Glyxciak. I'm sure he's wondering why you're over-staying your work visa on Earth demon."

The secretary flashed her pointed teeth and growled, "Fine, but if anyone asks you snuck in while I was on break."

"Why thank you, top floor right?" Steel meandered over to an open elevator and stepped in, "Oh, I already called your supervisor. I don't leave many things up to chance." The doors shut, but the piercing scream could be heard clear as a bell.

The doors opened at the top floor, which was really just one long, straight hallway with many doors on the sides and a large oak door at the end, "Totally not suspicious." He drew his newer revolver and took slow steps down the hall. As he passed the first pair of doors, they burst open.

Two very large skeletons wearing very expensive suits stepped out, each holding a shotgun. Now, a skeleton can't talk, as they lack the necessary muscles and a voice box, but they can click. Which is bad for the teeth. Which skeletons don't care about because they don't need food or dental hygeine. What summoned skeletons DO care about is killing whoever threatens their master.

Steel's revolver was looking pretty useless right about now, "Well then, I know when I'm beat." he walked back to the elevator, briefly stopping between the skeletons, "You two are doing a great job. Take a break." He touched both of them and in an instant the bones fell into a messy pile before quickly decaying, "So cool that I can do that..."

Before discovering the next obvious trap, he picked up one of the shotguns and held it at the ready. This time the doors opened just as he reached them and out popped two balloons. Inside the balloons was a grayish substance that moved around as though it wanted to escape.

"Pissed off soul juice. Classy. I'm just gonna put these back..." He gently guided the balloons back into their rooms and shut the doors, "What's next? Zombie gorillas?" A soft sobbing could be heard further down the hall, "I'll still shoot you if you really want me to!"

Steel sighed. Humor was lost on certain spirits, they thought of nothing but capturing prey after all. Bullets were powerless, but magic was not, "Since I'm a little tired of this nonsense, I think I'll just make this place go boom."

He focused his energy, it had been a few centuries since he used magic. When it was ready, he unleashed a firestorm throughout the hall. It burnt through doors and cleared out the windows in the rooms, not to mention the occupants and traps. Steel didn't feel exhausted, just a bit... top heavy.

"Fine, whatever, I don't even care right now. Let's just tear through the only door not burnt." She marched down the scorched corridor, a ring of fire around her left wrist and a wring of dark energy around her right, "Open." The door didn't budge, so Steel raised her right hand, "I said OPEN!" A burst of energy tore a hole through the magical door, much to the surprise of the inhabitant.

Mike Susanoo sat at a beautiful mahogany desk, hand carved and custom made, "Who are you?!" His voice trembled.

"Sweet desk, you'd have to kill a guy to get something like that." Steel looked around at the relatively normal office. Some superstitious images and artifacts were hung with care, though generally did nothing. They just made the walls look less empty, and could be used as short-range ballistic projectiles as needed, "Well, you won't be killing a guy, but me? Very likely."

Mike stood up, "Who is paying you? I'll double it right now." A check book was produced from his inner coat pocket, "Spit it out!"

Steel set the decorations around the room on fire with a flick of her wrist, "I'm getting paid way more than you can imagine. You shouldn't keep messing with things you don't understand."

"I understand the spirit world quite well you bitch! I've explored its depths since before you were born!" Steel couldn't help but have a good belly laugh, "Ignorant slut, I'll teach you! Come forth!"

Steel held up a hand, "Stop! Please stop! My sides hurt!" She kept laughing, "Punks like you make this job funny, even when I don't get paid as much as I should." She stomped on the ground near some nether portals, making them vanish, "Hi-larious! Try again. No, wait... my turn!"

Steel lifted Mike into the air with magic, "Work for me! We could be unstoppable!"

"The body can be twisted so badly that it becomes unrecognizable as a body. When twisted in this manner, the soul just kinda pours out. See, thing is I get paid extra if I get your soul too. So..." Steel waved her fingers in a spiral and Mike Susanoo went through a magical blender. The dark gray soul globbed onto the ground as the flesh was tossed against a wall.

Using an empty liquor bottle and some magic, Steel was able to contain the soul and carry it from the building. Fire sirens could be heard in the distance, so she wasn't going to stick around long. A conveniently hidden road upon which Steel parked aided his escape.

"Welcome back female Steel, job all done?" Sabrina greeted her as she entered the office, "Here's that address. Good luck." Steel was a bit upset. Bloody Mary was staying at the run-down hotel just across the street, "Yeah... I didn't see that coming either."

Steel marched across the street, "Hi, looking for Bloody Mary."

The counter attendant was bewitched, "Top floor, room 301." He handed Steel the room key, "Have a nice day."

Steel mumbled to herself as she climbed the moldy staircase and found that room 301 was simply the top floor, "Damn psycho women and their ability to change physics." He used the key and opened the door.

"Ah, the lovely Steel here to collect her reward." Bloody Mary had installed a massive in-floor pool and filled it with red liquid. Probably not blood though, Steel would have noticed a few hundred people found drained of their life fluids, "You have the soul, correct?"

Steel tossed over the bottle, "There better not be any traps around your damn treasure."

"Would I do something so low?"

"Yes."

She smirked, "I suppose I would, but I have no use for it anymore. The map is on that table, it is as clear as can be. I will depart now, it has been a pleasure." Bloody Mary left the world, and as she did her special room began to collapse.

"Mother fu..." Steel teleported outside of the hotel and began the short journey back to his office, where Cleopatra and Liliy were waiting, "I really hate that woman."

"Yay!" Liliy was once again enamored with the female version of Steel, "I'm really happy to have you back!"

"The spirits all went poof at once, I'm guessing Bloody Mary won't be a problem anymore?" Cleopatra was pretending to be distant again, disguising her true feelings.

"She should, there are some pretty nasty consequences for violating a magic contract. In any case, I'm tired and hungry and bored."

"Let's go out to eat! Right now!" Liliy grabbed Steel's arm and tugged her through the door, "I know just the place!"

Steel looked up, "Please... mercy..."

It was still early afternoon, so the cafe was mostly empty, "Table for two!" The waitress led them to a small table in the corner of the tiny restaurant. "So Steel... how are you?" The succubus couldn't sit still, the influx of magical energy from Steel was affecting her.

She looked at the menu, "I'm getting that sandwich and the buffalo wings. I earned it today." Liliy ordered the same thing. She didn't need to eat, but she could if she wanted, "I'm taking a vacation somewhere isolated. Maybe a mountain that hasn't been fully explored."

"Oh don't be silly! You can just stay with me! It'll be so cuddly and warm!"

Steel still couldn't change back to a male, "I should probably invest in a cell phone..."

Liliy hadn't stopped talking, "... and we'll lock the door and have all the food and drinks and..."

Clouds were rolling in. Regular storm clouds. No magic, no demons, no spirit invasion, just storm clouds, "Finally... I can't remember the last time it rained water." The waitress set the food down, "Thanks. Liliy, you should eat before it gets cold."

"You could warm it up whenever you want."

The flirting was starting to get creepy, "I'll just assume you're talking about the food. And not in public."

"When you assume, you make an ass of you and me. Speaking of-" Steel crammed Liliy's sandwich into her mouth. She was still mumbling something.

Steel started to eat the wings and Liliy's eyes lit up. While not directly related to energy, spicy foods tended to increase the flow of magic, "Calm down, no need to start an incident. You can burn off that energy later. Right now just eat. Fast." A bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, another conduit for magic energy, "She's gonna blow!" Steel jumped behind her chair and braced herself.

"I'm not going to blow. You don't have that part back yet. But later I will get you." Liliy took a bite of the sandwich, never breaking eye contact. Her eyes were brighter than usual and she stopped blinking.

Steel shivered, "That is super creepy." She ate her food quickly, ignoring the burn of the wings. Anything to get Liliy out of public would be advantageous. Steel dropped some cash on the table, "Let's go, I'm not in the mood to contain any more issues today."

Liliy wrapped her arm around Steel's, "Don't stray too far, your day is far from over." She was doing what succubi do best. Or at least, trying hard.

Back at the agency Steel sat at his desk while Liliy sat on the corner and stared at her some more, "Cleopatra... got any vacation ideas?"

"Still haven't changed back?"

"Probably used too much magic, and the storm isn't helping. Guess I'll have boobs for a while longer." Steel took off her overcoat and leaned back, "Well?"

Aqua bubbled over, "You could try the ocean, I hear it's so pretty! I can't go 'cause I might dissolve, but you could go!"

Sabrina was pretending to sleep, as ghosts had no need for the activity, "You could try a theme park."

"Too many ghosts at sea. Really, it's insane. I'd never get a chance to sleep with all their groaning and rambling. Theme parks are about the same. Hell, ghosts can go on rides as many times at they like without waiting. I hear possessing people is also pretty fun."

Cleopatra sat on the other corner of the desk, "Egypt isn't what it used to be. I've noticed that 'staycations' are popular in modern times. Perhaps you could simply relax in your room with plenty of food and entertainment."

Steel's head fell in defeat, "I don't have any other decent plans. Mind the shop, keep that fairy out of my room, and no visitors." She wandered off to her tiny little room and shut the door. It was a small bed, but comfy enough. Steel undressed and laid down before shutting her eyes.

She woke up a while later and felt an arm around her waist, "Alright, let's see. Solid, so Aqua and Sabrina are out. Angel of Sorrow doesn't like me enough. I'm in my room, so it's not the Reaper. Female, but adult. No breath on the back of my neck." Steel turned around but her breasts slapped Cleopatra awake, "Can I help you?"

"That hurt a little."

"Yeah well go over a hundred years without them and you forget that they are even there."

"Well, I just thought you could use some non-harrassing company. So please return to sleep."

Steel sighed, "You do realize that won't be happening now, right? Most people don't feel relaxed when someone sneaks into their room and cuddles them without their knowledge."

"You aren't most people."

"That may be, but I'm still technically a people." Steel yawned loudly, "You paranormal folk and your bizarre behaviors. It's like a toy store without the toys but a lot of rich kids. I think."

Cleopatra raised an eyebrow, "What does that even mean?"

"No clue."

Cleopatra smiled and sighed, "Such a bizarre man... woman... person. At least you keep things interesting around here. Hopefully no more complicated jobs will come about in the short term."

Steel groaned and rolled over, "Now that you say that, some cult or another will summon some sort of old god or demon king and I'll have to 'investigate' it. By which I mean kill it. Because I don't do much detecting anymore. Probably should change the name of this place." Steel felt her eyes twitch, "Great... how long am I going to be stuck like this now?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Hm? Oh... I may be stuck like this semi-long term... possibly. Too much magic in the air. Again."