Two Sides

Story by PorvilleSins on SoFurry

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This story is about self-harming and self destructive tenancies. The main character is portrayed very similarly to Death in the Discworld series.

This is based on the old Indian saying about the two wolves, except for more related to depression.


Two-Siders By: Porville Sins Ch. 1 Who shall sing me Into death-sleep sling me When I walk the way of Hel And the tracks I tread are cold, so cold

A gray wolf sat alone in his study, his students left for the night. He sat alone as he did for many years, his gray face resting on his folded arms as he watched the festival happening outside his window. One part of him wished to go out; the other begged him to stay in. He shifted his head slightly looking at the red marks on his arm. Though mostly faded, the marks were still readable, 'despair manifest,' the cuts read. He reached for the dagger next to him, in the mind to freshen the letters up a bit. His hand shook as he moved the blade in closer. Despite the assumptions and whisperings of some of the villagers, the young mage didn't actually like the pain, he didn't get any pleasure from it. It was more scratching an itch, a pressure valve releasing. If he traced the crimson letters again, his brain would fill his body with endorphins and cannabinoids, allowing the pain to relax him. He pressed the blade to his gray fur, and shook for a second. "DAMN!" he screamed, throwing the dagger across the room. "DAMN MY COWARDICE!" He retrieved the blade from its position on the floor. "Damn this ritual I've become so used to!" He looked upon the villagers celebrating outside, "and damn all of you along with it." He murmured, throwing himself onto the small cot he kept in this room, cutting shapes in the air with the dagger's blade. The wolf rolled in his cot, hoping to find comfort and escape in sleep. Frustrated after even a few minutes without any hope of relief from his torment, he tossed the dagger across the room again. This time, for the first time in his life, the blade stuck into something. Hearing the 'thock' of metal sticking in wood, the wolf looked up to see what he'd hid. The dagger was embedded in the middle of a scroll he'd collected in his journeys to the north. It said: Inside all of us are two wolves, One White One Black, One is Hope, One is Despair, One Good, One Evil, Many times in our lives, these two make war, The one who wins is the one you feed most. He had read this poster a thousand times and never before felt as he did now. He felt ecstatic, an idea coming to him so unlike any he had had before. He kissed the Ansuz rune hanging around his neck, whispering a quick thank-you to the god of inspiration. Running quickly to his bookshelf, he pulled a magic adventure book off his shelf, one in which you assume the role of a hero on a quest. In this case the quest was a long one: battle the many generals of the "Chaotic One," and eventually slay him to rid the world of tyranny once and for all, and literally restore Order (the prince of the land) to the throne. He carefully inscribed a series of runes into the pages, making sure whoever went in, couldn't leave until the quest was done, and making a few modifications to the character of the story. Once all of the preparation work was finished, he flipped the pages back to the beginning, the encounter with the ferret brothers. The easy part was over. Now came the truly hard part. He pulled the dagger out from the poster, and laid it on the table. He began a slow and melodic chant: "Mother of darkness, mother of light, Earth beneath a soul in flight, Song of love and love of life, Help me end this fight." As he chanted, dropping himself into a trance state, he began to manipulate the fine strings of magic. The air around him took on a slightly green tinge, unlike the usual blue of his normal magic. The blade began to wobble, taking in the green glow as it traced runes across the blade with the appearance of small lightning bolts. Eventually the blade lifted off the table. The wolf casting the spell's shadow split into two pieces, one darker and one lighter. The blade dropped to the floor, rippling into the lighter shadow, slicing along the edges with surgeon like precision. From the outlined shadow emerged a white wolf, unclothed and unconscious, his coat pristine and beautiful. The second shadow gave birth to a larger black wolf. His coat was matted with caked blood, and blades were embedded into his flesh. His forearms bore the message 'despair manifest." The chant ended, the dagger returned to the table. The gray wolf turned in the chair, exhausted. He looked upon the two sleeping figures. The white wolf's eyes fluttered open first. He stood, looking around the study. The black wolf followed soon, his eyes were fixed permanently on the dagger/ "Why have you called me into the open? Aren't you scared of me coward? You don't want my help; you threw me across the room and begged the gods to damn me." The black wolf said, taking a step forward to the dagger. "If you want my help now, then I guess I can, just hand me that little blade right there and I can fix it right up for you." He said motioning to the scars on the gray wolf's arms. The white wolf placed himself in front of the mage, "I will not allow you to harm him." He said "Neither of you is doing anything," the gray wolf said, raising the modified book. "You have fought for too long. You've torn my life apart in so many ways and I'm sick of it." Both wolves looked at him, curiously. "As such," the mage continued, "I have decided to separate you from me, give you a chance to settle your differences. Rather, force you to. This book will take you both in and refuse to let you exit until the quest is completed." He tapped the page picturing the two snarling ferrets, with their knives drawn pointing towards the reader. "As long as you two have been in control of me, I will finally be in control of you!" He said, as the book began to glow with the same green light as the dagger had. The black wolf laughed, "You are nothing without me, I am so much a part of you now you wouldn't even know how to live in the light." He started to charge the gray wolf, intent on grappling him into submission, as he had figuratively done before. The white wolf moved to intervene and both black and white ended up falling together into the pages of the book. The sound of birds calling filled the air, the sensation of warm sunlight reached the white wolf, known as Hope's face. He awoke as if from a bad dream, gasping for air, and drenched with sweat. "Where am I?" he asked, looking around the pleasant-seeming forest clearing. A lack-luster camp was set up, as if he'd intended to spend the night there. He was quite puzzled as he stood up. "Where are you," a second voice demanded, "Where am I?" Hope turned around to find Harm, the black wolf, staring him in the face. Something didn't seem right though. Though he was definitely there, he was like a shadow in a fog. Ethereal and intangible he floated there next to Hope. Hope opened his mouth to say something when the tree line rustled. "See, I told ya there was a camp-fire over here." A smooth medium-pitch voice said. "I never doubted you for a second Barbos, you know that." A slightly higher voice chimed in. "Quiet Lock you wanna wake'm up?" The medium voice replied, followed by the sound of leather striking leather. Two ferrets strolled into the camp brazenly. "Oh look, he's already awake." The larger of the two ferrets said, drawing his blade, "He's not armed though Lock, I think we're gonna have an easy time with this one here." "One," Harm said, "do they not see me?!" No, they don't... "Who said that?" Hope and Harm said in unison "I said that..." Said Barbos, walking forward with his dagger, "I also say, give me all your grub and your money too..." Actually that was me, the author of this quest... They can't see Harm because he's merged into you. Rather, you're merged into each other. I told you I was forcing you to work this out. Now then, Harm can only gain control as long as Hope lets him have it. Hope can only get control back when Harm gives it back. You see now how this works? Harm took one more look at the ferret. "Let me handle these two I can do it SOOO EASILY!"He made a wringing motion with his hands, "Ferret necks are as easy to wring as wet towels." "No!" Hope shouted, that was a poor decision. "No, did you hear that Lock, he said NO!" Barbos said, inching further forward. "I did hear him, I wonder what we can do to make him say yes," Lock sniggered. The two closed in with their daggers brandished. Barbos lunged forward with his blade, impaling it directly into the passive wolves gut. The scream that followed was cut short by a cold laughter though. The white body clouded over with black. Harm stood up, laughing hysterically. Barbos still had his hand on the blade, as the blood squirted out of the wound it seemed to do nothing to impair the insane creature before him. Harm grabbed the terrified ferret's wrist just below his grip on the dagger. He gave a two-handed twist to the spindly limb and it cracked sickeningly, forcing the ferret to release his dagger. Harm drew the blade out from his stomach, wheeling around as Lock began to take a run up/ The two blades shrieked as they clashed together. Lock was a cowardly fighter, unsure of what to do when the odds were against him. He drew his blade back and held it in a guard position across his face. Harm started to circle to his right, forcing the ferret to move as well. "You're joking right? You can't block like that, you want to hold your blade like this!" Harm said, moving his blade into a proper guard position. "If you hold it straight sideways like that, it can't block attacks like this." Harm said throwing a slash aimed at the ferret's neck. Lock barely moved his blade in time to counter the blow. Hope regained consciousness now finding himself as a ghostly figure. "Harm what are you doing?" "Playing with the kid," The black wolf answered. Barbos threw a rock at Harm's head, hoping to distract him long enough for his brother to either escape or kill him. "LOOK OUT!" Hope shouted as the ferret released. Harm dodged the projectile, throwing the knife in response. The ferret made a gurgling sound as he clutched his throat. He collapsed onto his back, eyes staring blankly at the sun above. Lock flew at his brother's, now unarmed, assailant. Screaming incoherently, he thrust multiple times with his short blade, trying to wound the wolf in some way. The ferret sliced into Harm's gut twice, though it didn't seem to faze the wolf at all. Harm let him thrust one more time, before catching his wrist, pulling him forward, and stomping down on his left knee. Lock screamed as his wrist was pulled up. The two joints gave ungodly loud pops, and the ferret was released to the ground, his dagger hand pressed under the wolf's foot. Lock whimpered, staring at the corpse of his brother as the wolf lifted the dagger above his head. With a quick slash, Locks ear fell clean away from his head. Harm showed him the bloody dagger, pointing it off into the woods. "Run that way," the wolf said bringing his face down to the sniveling, bleeding ferret's, "run that way and KEEP running until you collapse." Lock, without saying a word, got up and started hobbling towards the edge of the trees. He turned back for one last look at his brother, shouting another string of incoherent curses as his tormentor. He stopped soon after the knife crashed into tree bark near his head. "You didn't have to do any of that." Hope said in a lecturing tone. "There's no reason." "They would've been plenty happy to have killed us." Harm said, "That's reason enough for me." "You're impossible!" Hope yelled, "I could have talked them down if you'd given me a chance." "Would that chance have been before or after they skewered you?" Enough you two! You have a long journey a head of you, and you'll need all the strength you can get. Now, the main road lies just north of your campsite. Once there, head east towards the first village, that's where the quest truly begins. "Why should I travel with this weakling?" Harm shouted. In response a tree branch, twice his size, cascaded down from the canopy above. The wood landed right next to him, splintering into a thousand pieces. Because the next one of those, will be coming directly for your head, now get a move on, you only have a few hours before the village curfew and you have no supplies. Harm growled and grumbled as he began sulking off into the woods. Unaware that Lock hadn't gone very far, he crept out into the clearing after the arguing trio had moved on. Lifting his brother's head in his hands he stared into the unseeing eyes. "Don' fret Barbos, I'll get that wolf for ya." He hugged his limp brother, "I'll make myself a nice warm cloak of his pelt in your honor." He said. Finding a shovel in the foolishly abandoned camp gear, he began to dig a grave. "You'll see, I'll be wearing that black cloak in no time!" The mad ferret laughed.