FSE

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I could feel the soft silk beneath my pants, it rubbed back and forth, almost wet feeling in its own way when it moved just so and clung in all the right places. My ears were only faintly reddened as I walked through the main atrium and did my best not to glance towards the people that were walking around me. I still felt like they knew, that they somehow were able to glance at my clothing and know that I was wearing soft silken panties beneath my jeans. Even though I had studied myself in the mirror to ensure that they weren't outlined, I still felt that way, but it didn't make me hesitate in slipping them on in the morning. They felt good, natural, they clung to my body in such a way that I delighted in the sensuous feel of it kissing the most intimate parts of my body. It would have felt better to have a bra on as well, but that I couldn't hide as well.

I had gone back to the store again, but it had been just as daunting to try and figure out what to buy and it had been made worse by the fact an older woman was in the same area and I could have sworn she was watching me. Still, I did manage to get several more pairs of panties that were more comfortable and fit me a little better than my first purchases had. It felt good, it felt right, to feel the material slipping over my fur and caressing me, though the tightness along my groin certainly didn't let me feel that comfortable. It was an 'off' sort of feeling that had me occasionally shifting and tugging at my pants to try and adjust myself as best as I could in public. When I got home I'd slip on the bra, oftentimes luxuriating in being able to walk around my apartment in nothing else and catching glimpses of myself in the mirror.

I caught elevator with a nervous little smile at one of the large dogs that ran security. I still didn't feel like I was hidden. I was almost positive everyone had to know what was under my clothing, even if I had been told repeatedly that no one else did. Sanmer in particular helped with that regard as he had assured me that he couldn't see anything at all. The thought of the fox made me almost smile to myself as the elevator took me down to the lab's floor and let me back out again. Telling my co-worker had been nerve wracking, but he had seemed to accept it with a certain amount of equanimity and simply shrugged it off. His exact words had been "As long as you're not taking off my bits, I don't see the problem." Anticlimactic, that had been the conversation, but that was him to a tee. It made me more relaxed around him now that he knew, a little more comfortable and less scared that he would find out and freak out on me.

If anything, he had been more helpful in terms of helping me understand what I was going to be facing in the future. He was scientifically minded and his interest in learning didn't stop just because it didn't have to do with his job. He had been fascinated, talking actively about the sorts of things that might influence my future and what I should be on the lookout for. It was helpful, but it wasn't the help that I was really yearning for at the moment. I needed help, I wanted to try to get more clothes, more things that fit more who I wanted to be instead of what I currently looked like, but I had no idea where to start. The websites were interesting and they certainly gave me some pointers on sizing and other concerns, but they didn't tell me what would look good, how I should dress. The idea of going to a store and asking for help wasn't going to happen, it just wasn't, I was far too nervous already and being poked and looked at, turning around in a mirror and having people look at me in such a vulnerable point made me cringe inside.

"Hey, San." I greeted said fox with a shy smile as I stepped into the cool thrumming lab and hooked my bag on one of the racks.

"Mmph.." Sanmer didn't even twitch an ear as he kept his eyes focused on the lens of a microscope and turned the wheels around slowly to focus the thing. He seemed to be engrossed in his work while he hunched on his stool.

"That good, huh?" I grinned a little bit, and the fox flicked his thick tail back and forth with annoyance as his ears went back. He lifted his head and wrinkled his upper lip back in a snarl.

"Do you have any idea what idiots the weekend people are?! They entirely broke down my sample I had of the new border spray!" He pushed backwards and glared at the microscope like it offended him. "They're idiots! Fucking morons!"

"Well, it's not like it can't be fixed." I shrugged a shoulder philosophically. "Want me to go prep things down in the interior lab?"

"Nah, I was wondering if you were going to tell me about how your daaaaaaaaate went last night." The word date was drawn out into a sing song voice that made my ears heat up a touch. "Was he hot? Adorable? Cute?"

"No!" I yelped out when the fox gave a sudden tug against one of my ears and I shrugged him off. "I told you, I wasn't on a date!"

I hadn't really told Sanmer the real reason I hadn't been able to go out with him the night before. It had been because I had had my first visit with a therapist. I had been terrified the moment I'd gone into the room, waiting to have her ask about every dirty sordid awful secret I had about my life. But, the well groomed badger had simply asked about me as a person, what I did for a living, what hobbies I had, what I enjoyed doing in my spare time. It hadn't been that terrifying or daunting, it had been a lot like talking to anyone and he certainly hadn't pressed me for any sordid details, but still... A therapist, the thought made me squirm a little, the word came with all sorts of negative connotations. It made me think of how my father would have snorted and snarled in disgust, it was a weakness to see one and in our society it was looked down on.

"Suuuuure it wasn't!" He grinned slyly with his ears pricked up high. He reached out and swiped up a glass tube filled with fluid, waggling it back and forth as he leaned towards me. "Of course, if you don't spill the beans we have ways of making you talk! Muhuahuahua!"

He laughed with a slightly manic look, made all the worse by the goggles that were sitting on his head and the lab coat. I ducked down as he mockingly tried to grab my head to attack me with whatever was in the vial, grinning when I snatched it out of his paw and stood up as tall as I could, lifting my hand up high over my head. I didn't want to lie to him, or try to make up something, so keeping his attention on something else was the best option at the moment. And a fun one at that. I grinned as the fox tried to grab it, teasing it back and forth until he suddenly reached down and pinched the sweep of my side firmly enough I yelped out and curled forward to protect myself from the assault.

"Oy! HEY!" I laughed and ducked my head as he threatened to get the other side, reaching up to try and steal the bottle that I'd snagged from him. Instead of fighting for the bottle, I diverted him by playfully catching one of his long braids and gave it a rough tug that made him yelp out.

It was a good distraction, one that led us into a brief scuffle in the middle of the lab trying to get the upper hand on one another. It didn't end until Sanmer managed to back me up against a table and we nearly overturned half the table with our rough housing. It worked, we didn't end up having to talk about where I had been and I was able to start getting ready for the day without more probing remarks. Most of the teasing questions had to do with hints of what I had been doing and I managed to avoid them or deflect them. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to open up to Sanmer, or how much he was comfortable hearing. Eventually he'd see a lot of it, but not for now. I wasn't ready yet, and at least the therapist had seemed to understand that.

The brief moments we had spent in the first meeting talking about what I wanted for my future had come with the knowledge that it would be a very personal and very deep change. She had asked me about if I would change my name, if I were willing to change my appearance outside of the house to actually become the female that I wanted to be. She hadn't asked me to say yes or no yet, but to think on it and begin to grow more comfortable considering myself as a female in my own mind. A lifetime had taught me to answer as a male, it had been hammered into me with the laws of our society and the fists of my father, but it was something that I would be faced with and would have to be alright with. At the moment it was a terrifying prospect, but so had living on my own, it had been terrifying until I had actually gone out and done it.

The thoughts continued while we worked, and Sanmer's mood had lightened. I found out why it had been a bit curt earlier when a group of men dressed in sleek suits had left the interior lab with slight looks at us that hinted that they didn't trust us not to try and peer inside the doors. Government workers, it was plastered all over the way they moved, the way they looked and their species. The elk had always held higher positions in government, mostly because one centralized group had been key in nearly every war in history and they had the wealth and power to remain in that position. They said that we were arrogant, but how could they judge us when their looks were disdainful and dismissive of us. It was a sting that all of us were used to, but it still rankled some small part of my mind. Sanmer's mood soon darkened after they left, his movements short and jerking as he took out his annoyance on his equipment. I wisely remained silent.

"Shallen." The deep rumbling voice stopped our work to a standstill and the familiar sight of the white maned lion brought my head up and ears back as Solare stood at the open door. "Are you at a place that you can stop?"

I glanced over at Sanmer, but the fox only hastily glanced back down at his work and slanted a look at me that I couldn't read. I'd never seen Solare down here, at least not when I was here, I knew that he made rounds quite often, but typically we all knew about them and he did them on the days I was out in the field and the lab was packed with nearly everyone. And he had never come looking for me. I knew he knew me, I knew that he knew that I was friends with CJ, but he had never treated me an ounce differently or gave me any favoritism because of it.

"I think so, sir." My voice sounded normal, I was grateful for that at least, but I couldn't stop my stomach from turning slightly. "May I help you?"

"Come with me, please." He answered, gesturing towards the door with the tablet he held in one hand. "Sanmer, I will be keeping Shallen until his shift is over, if you need any support please buzz upstairs and we'll send someone down."

"Yes, sir." Sanmer threw a sympathetic and confused look at me as I set my work aside and started towards the door. What had I done? I had been working hard, I couldn't think of anything I had going on that would get me in trouble, and certainly not with the owner of the company.

Solare led me in silence along the downstairs, his white tipped tail curling neatly behind him without an ounce of agitation. He was composed and as well dressed now as he had been the first time I'd seen him, making me feel scruffy and nervy. My own tail was twisting wildly behind me, making me concentrate on not smacking it against the wall as my shoulders hurt with tension as I was taken to a small office set near the end of the hall. It was one of the many rooms that were filled with screens that gave live feeds from the walls. The lion prided himself on keeping a constant watch instead of the military, often hinting ever so subtly that they could never have a system set up like his company had. His dedication was one of the many reasons that a solidified attack had never happened against us, at least that's what my employee handbook had told me when I'd gotten it.

"Am I in trouble, sir?" I asked as he waved me into the room and carefully shut the door behind me, making the fur along the back of my neck bristle.

I didn't want to be alone with him. He was large and muscular, he was everything that a male lion should be in our cultures eyes. His mane was thick and heavy, curling along his jawline in a frosty fringe that stood out against dark tawny coat so that it only drew more attention to the fact that age had now bowed him. His tailored suit was made in such a way that his muscled body was displayed, a predator that was past his prime, but was only more canny and able bodied for it. He was nothing like the father I had, the overweight drunken lion, but he was like the male that I saw in my mind's eye when I thought of the monster. Large and unstoppable, able to crush me with a thought and I had nothing I could do to stand against him. Even thinking it I knew it was idiotic, I tried to stifle those sensations and bury them deep as he slid into a heavily padded chair. He wouldn't hurt me, he wouldn't hit me. He barely even knew me.

"No, you've done nothing wrong, lad. Though, I would advise you not to open up conversations with that question as it makes one wonder if you should be in trouble and for what." He gestured towards the other padded chair. "Sit. Please."

"Then why did you want me?" I slipped into the chair nervously, trying not to show it as the older lion turned towards the cameras and his fingers ran over the buttons.

"I have a problem, and one I am hoping that you will be able to help me with." He typed rapidly, the screens flickering to life and shutting off again as I saw the halls and atrium upstairs before they went fuzzy and turned to another view. "I understand that you are no longer a part of the family that gave birth to you?"

"No, sir." It wasn't a secret, at least not to someone who knew my new last name and the fact I had been forced to submit new documents to HR instead of my proper certificates.

"Do you have any contact with your family?" The screens began to come to life in patches, nine screens starting to form a large blocky screen of one image along the outside wall. "Talk to them on the phone or perhaps letters?"

"I call my brother sometimes, sir, but not lately." I shifted nervously and felt my stomach turn and twist wildly. What had happened? Had my father gone afoul of some of the guards?

"Your brother. Jontifan Nakintha, correct?" My stomach went cold and I sat up in my chair, opening my muzzle before Solare's hand went up. "He's not harmed in any way."

"Yes, that's him, what's going on, sir?" The screen showed the outside wall near one of the crops of forestlands, it wasn't that close to the wall, but close enough.

"We are getting reports of a pride that's beginning to start with the younger male lions, and even several cheetahs. In the last few weeks we have noticed a pattern of people going over and under the wall, and while we have stopped many, they are finding new ways to get through." He was working on the key pad and I saw shadows moving high speed across the screens. "This is confidential video, it will be more than just your job if word of this leaves here, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." I answered automatically, shifting in the overstuffed chair, my ears tipped back. I was not alright with what was happening, especially not if I was about to have to say something against my younger brother.

The night vision camera didn't give me a great deal of detail, but it was obvious those that were slipping along the forest line were feline. It wasn't just the head shape, but the way they moved and kept close to the ground, the way their tails were held. At first I just saw two, but it became rapidly apparent that there were more that kept hidden near the bushes as they teased the camera with flashes of themselves slipping back and forth through the trees. It didn't seem that remarkable, normally there were people going out there, I knew that my father did, and others, it was just a part of life. One of my teachers had said that it was even ignored to a certain extent because it gave us an outlet for the urge to range and weeded out the problem predators that went too far or fell in with some of the wild bands that refused the bonds of civilization.

"Right here.." Solare leaned forward and tapped the screen with a finger while it zoomed in closer to the tree line. "I want you to watch right here."

They were moving, I saw a cheetah, unmistakable with their long tail and rangy body, he was moving out clearing into camera view and held something against him. At first, I didn't really understand what was going on, it was just a shape that distorted in the grainy film, but the further out they got, the more I realized that the thing held against him was struggling and kicking wildly. The lashing of a tail made me sit up as I saw the diminutive and unmistakable form of a mouse trying to break away from the hold around her throat. The camera focused on the moving objects, blurring and breaking up the line of them and then it was back and able to give me a clear look at what was happening. It really was a mouse, the small female was struggling against the hold on her chest as the cheetah reached a rock and tightened his hold on her neck.

She was younger, not an adult, but not a child either, likely still in high school and her eyes were bulging with terror as she was saying something, her mouth working rapidly, but the cheetah wasn't paying attention to her, he was looking at the tree line intently. No mice went past the wall, at least not alone and never on foot. Not even rabbits or the smaller deer would go out past the wall. She was crying, he could see her cheeks dark where the tears had rolled down and then it happened. The cheetah released her and shoved her forward so she stumbled away from him, something dark dribbling down along the line of her neck where his claws had held her. She ran, it was a flash, bolting past the camera before movement erupted from the small patch of forest just a few heart beats behind.

There was no mistaking the felines in chase, they spread out, ranging to either side and stormed past the camera before Solare tapped the keyboard a few times and I got a good look at the way they chased her. They were hunting her. It made my heart leap up involuntarily as I saw them go through the grasses, it wasn't something I even thought about, but it made me flick my eyes down in shame at my own reaction. The cameras blacked out with another click from the lions paws and he turned the chair to face me, his features grave and heavy looking under his mane.

"She is still alive, they didn't hunt to kill... yet." He said the last word wearily and leaned backwards, his legs extending out in front of him. "My men reported that she will bear scars for the rest of her life from them blooding her before the hunt, and she was lucky that is all that happened. We have not yet reported it to the authorities, though we will be sitting down with them later tonight to discuss the matter with them. Right now, we have a handful of names to go on and yours is one of them."

"WHAT?!" I yelped and jerked upwards, my eyes bulging a little. "SIR! I was not one of them, I-I would stake anything on it! I will-"

"Ease up, Shallen." Solare gave a slight movement of his hand. "The name we have was spoken by one of the lions. The young lady that was tormented was blindfolded until the cheetah you saw took her out for the release, we know his name well, a known fugitive in the outlying territories, but the pride was talking as she was brought out. I have reason to suspect that if your name was given, it is likely that your brother is at least one of the people involved."

"H-He wouldn't." I whispered, not daring raise my voice as I flicked my eyes towards the blanked out screen. Jonty was a good kid, he had always been a good kid, he was likable and easy going. He was sweet, even if he did sometimes act like our father a bit too much. "He's not like that."

"Son, I was young once, you are young, it doesn't take much for things to get messed up in your head and make you do things you wish you hadn't." Solare leaned forward, my ears went down at the word 'son'. "If he is involved, he needs help, serious help. This isn't the first time we've had issues like this, but the cheetah on that film has been an Outlier for nearly ten years and you can bet he isn't just hanging out with them because he wants a little company. They didn't kill her... this time. But it's obvious he's giving them a taste for blood and the chase, it's a very small jump from there to actually killing."

"Jonty wouldn't do that." I sounded like a cub, but it was true, Jonty wouldn't behave like that. Hell, he had been friends with a goat in pre-school, until our father had had a fit about it.

"I hope he wouldn't, but there's no harm in you trying to contact him. Maybe he's just fallen in with the wrong batch and just went to watch, I don't know, but I do know that the police are going to be cracking down on everyone after this." Solare leaned back, his expression tired looking. "This isn't a jail sentence, you need to understand that, if they locate the ones doing this they will be executed as too dangerous to live."

"You're sending them to their deaths." I whispered the words, my spine felt like ice and I watched the older lion stand up, his shoulders weighed down as he looked at me.

"No, I am seeing that I never have to go out and help the police pick up the remains of someone like that girl. Again." He shook his head after a few moments. "Take some time off, find your brother and talk to him. The names we have are common, it's likely that we can find them quietly and put a stop to this, or exile them, but the police will be out for blood."

"Blood for blood." I murmured, wincing a little at half remembered history lessons. Jonty wouldn't behave like this, he was better than that. He always had been. I stood up and tried to remember the cute little cub that had followed behind me when we'd been younger, all soft and filled with laughter. Solare was wrong.

~ ~ * ~ ~

I was walking towards my apartment building when I heard my name yelled across the road and I blinked a few times and looked around in confusion. The voice wasn't one I immediately recognized, but I saw who it was in the little café that was set across from my building. It would be impossible to miss the fox standing up and leaning over his table, waving one hand eagerly and his expression brightening up visibly even from across the street. I froze and felt my mouth grow dry as Hiasaki called my name out again and gestured with a hand for me to come over, his dark tipped ears were held up high and the black tail tip wagged behind him as merrily as any canine. I didn't think I could even breathe as I blinked my eyes wildly. This couldn't be happening.

I had avoided him. I had done everything in my power to not hang out around him or to go to places I might see him, I knew I shouldn't. There was too much confusion and chaos in my life to add to it with someone that confused me so badly. I had no illusions that my reactions to him had anything to do with simply wanting to be his friend, my dreams had told me otherwise in sordid detail. If he was gay, there was no way it'd be okay, if he wasn't gay this would all just freak him out, even if I could explain what was happening to me and what was going to happen. I should just walk away, I knew it, I should have turned right around and gone to my apartment with the nice security lock that meant he couldn't follow me up to my apartment door. Just seeing him had my heart speeding up and I flushed, my ears reddening as I flicked my whiskers back and glanced along the road. I couldn't just walk away, it would be rude, he could obviously see that I'd seen him. That was my logic I stepped out across the street and towards the café.

"Hey!! I was just about ready to give up!" Hiasaki grinned broadly, showing just the tip of his pink tongue, his almond shaped eyes were slanted with a hint of his merriment. "C'mon have a seat, I hope you don't mind that we're on the porch."

_What the hell? _ I felt like I'd been hit in the head as he pointed towards the opening in the little gate that would let me onto the back porch.

"Mind?" I felt dumb, this didn't make any sense and I wasn't able to get my brain wrapped around what he was saying. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

The last question made his face fall uncertainly, his ears turning to either side as I ducked around the gate and saw a waiter glancing at me curiously. The excitement faded a little around the edges on the mobile muzzle and I felt a sudden pang of guilt for causing him to lose his enthusiasm, even if I was absolutely baffled by what was happening.

"Sanmer said.." He started and then narrowed his eyes and spat something out in a language I couldn't understand. I didn't have to know his native tongue to know he was cursing and I flinched a little bit before he gave an apologetic smile. "He never told you, did he? The little ti-skai!"

_ _

"He set us up, didn't he?" I sighed and gave my head a little shake. "Sorry, I didn't know anything about this at all."

"We met the other night at the club." Hiasaki gestured towards the chair at the table. "Listen, I'm sorry, this must make me look like a stalker, I really didn't intend for it to happen this way. I just was hoping to speak to you outside of the club and I didn't get your number when we left. Sanmer said that he'd be happy to help, but--" The fox shrugged a little helplessly. "I guess he decided it'd be funny not to tell you."

"He would." I growled, thinking back to how smug the fox had been the last time he'd talked about Hiasaki. "He probably thought he'd drive me home today just so he could see the look on my face."

"There's a very old bit of wisdom from where I grew up." He gave smoothed his features into an earnest expression, his voice serious. "Never trust a fox."

"If a fox is saying that, doesn't that just mean the opposite?" I responded, unable to stop a little smirk at the way his eyes widened as if he were shocked.

"I suppose it does, but I'm a far better sort of fox than Sanmer, for I am always very honest and utterly reliable." Hiasaki grinned slyly, tilting his head to one side so I let out a soft laugh, warming from my nose to my paws at the way he smiled at me. "But I do apologize if I'm being invasive, I simply wished to talk to you again and get to know you."

"It's not invasive." I sighed a little. "I just didn't expect you here is all. I'm not really the sort of person that goes to clubs, they make me a little uncomfortable. There are always too many people."

"True, but I find that they are an excellent place to meet others. Case in point." He gestured towards me. "It can be hard in these cities to get to know other people. You would think that the wall would enforce a sense of community, but people are terribly private."

"Aren't they private where you came from?" I asked and relaxed a little as he smiled at me again, his eyes were so strange looking, almost like he looked at the world as some sort of marvelous joke that was worth laughing along with.

"No! Goodness, we are into everything and everyone's business. I couldn't shake my tail at one end of my township without being asked at the other end if I felt a tingle and if it meant it might rain." He gave a slow wag of the soft dark tipped tail, drawing my eyes a little.

"Why would they ask you if it meant it would rain?" I leaned forward a little, finding it hard to keep up my guard as he seemed so relaxed, his focus intently on me.

"Foxes are magic, of course. Everyone in the world knows that foxes were created last of all the peoples because the gods had so much left over they tucked it all into our modest forms to give magic form." He gave a little gesture at himself, his dark socked hands spreading as if inviting me to agree. "Why do you think I am so good with moving things, its fox magic."

"If you're magic, why didn't you already know how to find me then?" I replied back, earning a soft laugh from the tall male, it made me almost purr in enjoyment of the interaction. It felt so natural and easy talking with him.

"Because every good fox knows that cats have magic of their own." He replied seriously, tilting his muzzle to one side as if he were looking to make sure no one was listening. "Of course, cats stole it all from we foxes."

"Hmmm.." I curled my foot paws under the chair a little bit. "Do you really believe in magic?"

"I was raised with it, but not really. At least, not anymore. My grandmother would swear up and down that my line was started by a stray lightning bolt, but I think it's mostly just that she likes to live in the past. Most of the old stories are like that." Hiasaki chuffed out a little laugh at me. "But they're still fun to tell, I know a lot of the old stories."

"I never learned any, not really." He leaned in closer, his hands resting on the table with one black paw stretched over a little. It was a very natural pose, but it almost seemed to invite me to move my paw out as well. "There's all the ones that get talked about, mostly about how the wars started, but I think a lot of the old mythologies and religions faded away."

_This is not good. Just leave, you don't want to do this. _ I kept my paws firmly to myself, even though I wondered if his fur was as soft as it looked.

"That's a shame, it diminishes something to have them not around. I can't imagine not growing up and waiting for the Snow-Fox to come in the night to leave bells out on our doorway to keep the demons away." He gave a wistful smile that made me toes curl a little bit. "It was sad when I found out it was really my father, but so lovely when I still believed in a magical being."

I knew I should have left, but I remained there, listening to his soft voice as we spoke and felt his regard as something warm and touchable. I couldn't walk away, even if I knew that there was nothing here for me, he was interesting and funny, he was earnest and wanted to talk with me. Even when I became tongue tied he seemed to enjoy what I was trying to say. It was the most enjoyable meal I had had in a long time, despite the fact I wanted nothing more than to touch that soft thick fur, to see what it felt like beneath my fingertips. I wasn't thinking straight, he made it hard to think straight, and when we finally parted ways he took with him my phone number and the promise that we would have dinner next weekend on his side of town.

That night I dreamed of him... A dream in which I found out just how soft his fur was, and what his large paws felt like against my bare fur. I was playing with fire and part of me didn't care as long as it didn't end yet.

~ ~ * ~ ~

"Fuck, man, I thought you'd moved out of the city or some shit." Ivan's voice was a rough snarl in my ear, accusing and annoyed as I rubbed the bridge of my muzzle.

"No, I've just been busy, you know I'm working a lot." I stared at floor guiltily as I held the phone up to my ear. "Listen, I'm really sorry, man, I'm not trying to ignore you, but you know how it is."

"You could have fucking called." Ivan was angry, really and truly angry, I could hear it through the phone and could imagine the way he must have been struggling to not curl his lips back. "I thought something had happened to you!"

"I know." I rolled over and furrowed my brows, trying to ignore the way my head was starting to hurt with the tension growing. "I just wasn't thinking at all, I fucked up."

Jonty. My brother had been on my mind when I woke up. I should have called the night before, but my distraction with Hiasaki had meant putting off trying to get ahold of him to find out what was happening. I had half expected to have a message from Solare on my phone in the morning, but as it was there was only a text from Sanmer asking if I had slept well the night before. I had smothered the urge to blast him for surprising me with Hiasaki and set about trying to get ahold of my brother. Except, it was harder than I had thought. I'd finally called Ivan as a last resort, not expecting to end up being yelled at by the wolf. It was making my morning start off badly enough that I was thinking about hanging up the phone and crawling back into bed.

"I just worry, alright? I thought we'd keep in touch after high school." The growl faded and Ivan just sounded hurt. "I didn't think you'd just disappear."

"I don't mean to. We can get together again, maybe you can come by, I got my own place you know." I offered and almost instantly regretted it. What would I do if he found the things I'd bought?

"Damn! That's awesome, Shall." Ivan let out a short laugh. "I'm still with my parents, I can't afford shit on what I'm making. Plus my Dad is trying to set me up with Amir, she's my fucking cousin!"

"Once removed." I teased lightly, thinking of the quiet little cub I had known when I was younger. "He obsessed with keeping it in the family?"

"It's sick" Ivan was off on a tangent, one that I let him have as I grinned just a little to myself. I'd missed him, he was a good friend and there was something about his rough affection that was familiar and soothing.

We talked for a little bit, mostly about how he was not going to marry a cousin and had his eyes set on a dog that had a crush on him. I told him about how I was working and the fact the fox had tried to set me up on a date, though I was careful not to reveal the sex of the person I had met with. It was just the sort of thing he enjoyed talking about, setting him off about how he had gone out the other night with the dog he was seeing and had nearly gotten caught by her father. We talked about it long enough that he waxed poetic about what he wanted to do to her and the comfort between us managed to falter. There was something uncomfortable hearing about how he talked about females he was attracted to, it had never been the most comfortable thing for me, but now it made me grow quieter until I could find an opening to actually get to what I wanted to ask about.

"Have you seen Jonty lately?" I asked softly, my tail hitting the bed. "I tried to get ahold of him recently, but he wasn't around and I went to school-"

"Fuck! Jesus, man, I thought you knew!" Ivan's voice turned slightly pained I sat upright, my hand going to the bed so my claws curled into my comforter.

"What happened?!" Panic was in my voice, was he gone? Had the cops found him? Had delaying talking to him over night just because of Hiasaki caused-

"He's with your aunt. Jesus, man, you should have seen her come into your house! It was the best fucking show I have ever seen. My old man said he wished he could record it!" Ivan laughed merrily, and my shoulders relaxed a little. "I guess Jonty went to school a bit roughed up and she heard about it. Your Dad fucking lost it, I've never heard him freak out that badly, the cops came and everything! She took Jonty with her and I guess is going to enroll him in one of those paid schools."

Oh thank god... My shoulders went loose and I felt light headed. He wasn't caught, if he was with our aunt he couldn't possibly be leaving the wall.

Our aunt was the only successful member of our family, estranged and disapproving of her sister, but apparently something had stirred her from her home. She'd visited before, always trying to get us out from the monster's paws, but my mother had been cowed by my father enough to let him force her to back down. Or perhaps it was her pride. Our Aunt Illia was a hard female, strict and disciplined, she had to be. She had managed to scratch out a position within a company that meant she was well paid and able to stand on her own two feet, it was impressive enough being a predator, but beyond impressive for a female. My memories of her were of a strict woman who smelled too sharply of perfume and who always seemed to be frowning when she looked at myself and Jonty. My father had had less than kind things to say about, there was little reason that she had left us to fend for ourselves.

_It's still better than having him live with our father. _ I wondered what had brought her back to us, had she been really come just because Jonty had been a bit roughed up? She had never come the times I'd gone to school hiding bruises...

"...your mom and I'm sorry, man. I just thought she'd go too, you know?" Ivan was still talking as my mind ran through the idea of Jonty sitting in a nicely air conditioned house, complete with all the food he could eat.

"What about my mom?" My attention sharpened and Ivan sighed a little bit.

"It's just gotten worse is all, I think he's blaming her. My Mom has been calling the cops a lot lately, but you know how they are." Ivan puffed out. "Mom said that she's going to try and get her to leave him. It's bullshit the way he treats her."

"I don't think she'll ever leave." I murmured, thinking to the last time I'd seen her. "H-he's been hitting her again?"

"I don't think so." He sounded dubious. "I think he's just yelling a lot more and often, we hear it all the time, but when I see her she doesn't look like he's hurting her."

"Yeah." I tipped my ears back a little. I knew how well she could hide when she was hurt. "Listen, I gotta go, but I wanted to ask, do you know anything about Jonty going outside the wall? I don't think he really is, but I guess some shit is going on and I'm worried he's worked up in it."

"I don't think so, but I don't really hang out with him, Shall. I know your old man got busted a few weeks back, but that's about it."

"Okay." I drew in a breath. "I gotta run, but we'll hang out soon alright?"

We said our goodbyes, but my mind remained on my mother and brother. Jonty was out of the house, but I was still going to find a way to check in on him. At least I knew that with as strict as my aunt was it was likely impossible he was actually ending up in trouble. I knew Solare had been wrong about that, he just had to be. The victory was small, and tainted with what Ivan had said about my mother. Bitter sweet. Sometimes I truly wondered what it would be like to just have something sweet in my life, and set the bitter aside.