Ozyel
#5 of The Icaran Chronicles
The mind of a rejuve was a strange and mysterious thing. All the science, all the theory, all the biological studies indicated that rejuvenation should be a total reset, a one-stop cure for the physical ailments and chemical dependencies of the rejuvenated. Ozyel had been told this, yet she had also been told of how a man with a broken leg had been rejuved and still walked with a limp. Ozyel didn't suffer from a limp; she suffered from addiction. Five years as a Penitatas and her cravings still came back to haunt her. It all started many years ago, when she had come to Icara as a young girl on the verge of adulthood, smuggled past customs on a Kyyreni oil tanker. Her family had settled in a rough little town as far from the beaten path as they could manage, and set about trying to live the Icaran dream. Where it went wrong was the day Ozyel discovered coffee. It was foul stuff, laced with sugar and milk, which had started to give her stomach ache if she drank too much, and yet afterward she felt... good. Alert. Peppy. She wanted more. By the time she was fifteen, Ozzie was known by the locals as "coffee cup", and not just because she was covered head to toe in coffee-brown fur. By sixteen, she lost her part-time job at a newsagents because she had taken a two hour coffee break on a four hour shift. By seventeen she was devouring caffeine pills like candy, yet they couldn't give her the fix she needed. At nineteen she was found by the police on the street corner, naked and disheveled and off her head on a cocktail of illegal substances. Apparently, she'd bitten one of them. She didn't remember that. Nor did she remember having slept with anyone, though a cursory medical examination suggested she'd been sexually active that night with at least two people. Possession and use of illegal narcotics, coupled with prostitution had landed her the Big P. They'd let the assault charges drop on account of diminished faculties, which was nice
That's how she'd wound up in a city called "Going" where the locals wrote the street names in Panglish and some near-dead language. Specifically, it was how she'd wound up stood behind the new build classrooms with her panties around her chocolate-brown ankles and her skirt held up. A Kyyreni boy, a Daysider, was on his knees in front of her. The boy sucked his finger to moisten it and probed her pre-teen slit, trying to push the orange furred digit inside of her. "Damn but you're tight!" he hissed. "Of course I'm tight!" she spat back. "We didn't agree on you fingering me! Just get what you want and pay up!" The boy smirked at her outburst as he leaned in closer, sniffing at her cunt. His tongue lapped at her lower lips and probed for her clit. The sensations made Ozyel shudder. "Okay, you're done!" "Not yet," the boy replied. "You got a look and you got a taste, that's what we agreed!" she snapped, dropping her skirt and pushing him away. "Now pay up!" With considerable reluctance, the Daysider plucked a paper bag from his pocket. He tipped it over and poured three tiny white pills into his hand. They were so small they looked like breadcrumbs. They were offered up to Ozyel. "Here you go." She worked up a little saliva and swallowed the pills. It didn't take long for a familiar buzz to come to her; the sweet, sweet thrill of caffeine. "You know, I can get you something stronger if you're willing to earn it." She wasn't. She could barely stomach what she had to do for her caffeine. "Fuck off, Nohk." "Tsk tsk tsk! Such naughty language!" the boy chuckled. "You'd be in real trouble if someone heard you swearing." "Yeah, because what you're dealing is fine." Another irritating chuckle came from Nohk. "Fair point. See you tomorrow, maybe?" And with that, the two went their separate ways.
"You are awfully peppy," Willow said class resumed. She was a pale-skinned human with smoke grey hair; a rare genetic anomaly from her un-screened birth that she had fought tooth and nail to keep. She called herself a Tonkawa, which given her history Ozyel assumed was local for "thief". She was also, by process of elimination, Ozyel's new best friend in school. The Kyyreni girl pulled a tongue. "Can't a girl be peppy?" "A girl? Sure. A Penny? In school? Never! You keep grinning like that, Ozzie, and you'll get in trouble." Ozyel pulled another tongue and got one pulled back, and that was the end of the discussion. The school bell couldn't ring soon enough. The giddy thrill of caffeine had faded, and the ache of it made Ozyel irritable. Still, she was careful not to push her luck. She was tired, that's all. She had to think tired; school work was hard, the day was long, her best friend had been Rejuved for a new cycle and disappeared from her life with barely a goodbye. All of these things were weighing her down, that's all, just making her tired. Nothing was wrong, just tired. Just tired. "How was your day, sweetie?" mother asked. Mother was a square jawed woman whose body shape left no doubt as to her gender. Her hair was impossibly red, and quite possibly styled by a lightning strike. It was as well-behaved as a Black Circle, and did its own thing no matter how many times it was beaten down with brushing, crimping and styling products. Her name was Maggie. Her hair was named "You bugger!" "It was fine," Ozyel replied. "I'm kind of hungry though." "Well that's easily fixed. Let's get you home and fill that tummy up!"
Home is where the ham sandwich is. It was a nice little pick-me-up that helped Ozyel forget about her other hungers, and afterward she went upstairs to start on her homework. Fifteen minutes passed before the bedroom door opened, and Ozyel turned to see her mother's passive smile. "Ozzie, is there anything going on at school you want to talk to me about?" A lead weight plunged into Ozyel's gut. "What do you mean? Has someone been saying something about me?" "Who would be saying things about you?" Maggie asked, and Ozyel cursed inwardly. You had to be so very careful talking to parents. "I don't know. One of the boys said there was some kid trying to cause trouble for him. Saying specist stuff, you know?" Maggie shook her head. "Nobody's spreading rumours, Ozzie. But your teacher is worried about you. You've come a long way from when your sentence started, but we're worried you've begun to slide backward. I just want to know why." "I..." her mind raced, desperately trying to find something, some reason that wouldn't result in further probing. "I didn't realise I was slipping. I'm sorry, mom. I guess... I just miss my pet lizard." Maggie smirked at that. A good sign. "You shouldn't call Aielka that." Ozyel grinned. "I was her puppy, she was my lizard. I... I really do miss her." Seeing her child suddenly down, Maggie felt a stab of pain in her chest. She gently stroked the girl's head and said, "maybe I can try to get a hold of her? Arrange a play date sometime." "Really?" "No promises, but I can try." They hugged one another tight. Maggie patted her daughter's back and gave her the support she clearly needed. When they broke, Maggie nodded to the homework, "keep that up. Oh, and Ozzie... I know you like to be told in advance, so tonight's one of your nights." The girl's face fell. "How bad?" "Twenty straps and fifteen minutes in the corner. Them's the breaks, hun." Ozyel nodded, saddened by the news of impending, unearned punishment. "After dinner, please?" "After dinner," Maggie agreed. "Now get your homework done."
The next day, school dragged on and on. Lunch time couldn't come soon enough; Ozyel cornered Nohk and ushered him along to get a private word. "I need another fix," she said. The Daysider shook his head. "Sorry, but I'm out. Getting too dangerous to smuggle pills in." Ozyel grit her teeth. "Oh come on, Nohk! I've got no-one else! I really, really need it right now! Please? For me?" With great reluctance, Nohk slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a white tablet. It was larger than usual, the size of a common headache tablet. "This is a long-burn pill. Less of an immediate kick, but it'll give you your fix for longer. It's my last pill. Just take it; I'd rather not get caught with it." It took a lot of saliva to force it down. Ozyel grinned in anticipation of the giddy high she would soon feel. "That's it! We're done!" Nohk announced. "Good luck with the rest." "What if I need more?" Ozyel asked. The boy paused to consider this. "Well... if you come over to my house I might be able to get you something. It's a little easier to get you caff there." A little warning light came on in her head. "And... how would I be paying for this?" "I'll think of something, if you show up. No point in thinking on it too much until you're interested, right?" "Fine," Ozyel said, and refused to make eye contact with the boy as she stormed away.
That was the end of it. Or should have been. With no supplier to get her fix, she would just have to settle down and go back to a life without her little white friends, but that idea wasn't sitting easy with her. The giddy thrill never reached its usual heights, and the lows came much sooner. By the end of the school day there was a knot in her stomach, and her inner distraction had nearly had her up in front of the class. Everything ached. Her mind wandered, fixating on where her next fix would come from. She even imagined she was developing a nervous twitch in her hands. Somehow she made it home without trouble, but her mother kept hovering around her, fussing and worrying. It tool all of her strength to keep up the masquerade and convince her parent all was well. Sleep didn't come easily that night; she eventually passed out, exhausted and crying into her pillow.
School. By some miracle she was there. Parents and Rejuves gathered at the entrance, and the clear blue sky above made the place seem far less foreboding than usual. A few of Ozyel's friends tried to get her attention. She ignored them; she only had eyes for one boy now. "Nohk!" she called out, spotting the Daysider in the main hall. "Listen, I really need something. Please! You've got to help me out!" "I told you I'm not bringing stuff in anymore," he replied, yet his hand slipped into his pocket regardless and somehow found one of the new pills. "Okay, here. As a favour to you. If it were anyone else-" Ozyel snatched the pill off him and shoved it into her own pocket. Nohk smiled at her. "Why not come to my house? Ask your mom after school. I've already asked my dad and he said it's fine. "Okay," she answered quickly, and fled to the toilets. There was nobody else in the girl's room, but Ozyel still chose to use a stall to give herself a little more privacy. Shut safely inside the mint green stall she sat down, pill in her right hand, and stared at it. Her teeth chattered, her hand trembled, every part of her screamed for the release that innocent little tablet offered. Every part but one. A burning pain in her chest brought up memories of the last time she'd felt this way, and the hellish state she'd existed in prior to her arrest. That part of her knew this was the road she was now walking down, and it begged her to stop. Time lost all meaning. The outside sounds had gone and no-one else came or went. Somewhere above her a ventilator hummed. Every so often there would be an electric click as the light sensor found her and kept the lights on. Her heart beat was loud in her ears. Her breath was ragged and sharp. For the first time since ingesting Nohk's poison she found some clarity of thought. Her hand closed, slowly, enveloping the pill. And then she fell apart, wailing out her inner turmoil and soaking the tiled floor with her tears. At some point a knock on the stall door snapped her out of her torment. An adult female voice called out, "Who is in there? I can hear you crying. Open the door, please." She did as asked. Beyond the door was a teacher with a datapad, one that likely listed any truant Penitatas. The woman glanced at it, just briefly, before giving Ozyel her full attention. "What's the matter?" she asked. The words were painful to form as she replied, "I-I need h-help." Her right hand rose up of its own accord and her fist opened. The teacher took one look at what was in her hand and said, "I think you should come with me now."
A long, uncomfortable conversation with the nurse-stroke-counsellor followed her confession. That same uncomfortable conversation had to be repeated when the police arrived, only in much greater detail. And then she had to tell it all a third time while they made sure every detail they might need later was taken down. By then her mother had shown up and that, of course, required yet another retelling. By that time she'd already broken down in tears and couldn't even make it all the way through her account. Nurse-stroke-counsellor Ember, a nice looking man with a fondness for sharp-cut suits and sweet smelling hair gel, was kind enough to take over the story. "I was able to confirm the substance Nohk gave her," Ember explained. "It's pretty nasty stuff. Outlawed, naturally, but apparently commonly used by traffickers to create chemical dependence in their victims. There's no way a Penny could have come across this by accident." Maggie just stood there in shock, and Ozyel was unable to meet her gaze. A Drakonian officer politely inserted himself into the conversation. "Ozyel? My name is Vagid. I want you to know that we all admire your courage for coming forward about this." "Thank you," Ozyel said. "We would like you to show a little more courage for us now. This boy, Nohk, has been inviting you over to his house, yes? We'd like you to go. We'll wire you and have police close by. We just need some inside information; what he's peddling, how he's getting it, that sort of thing. I know that this is a lot to ask of you, and I want to make it absolutely clear that you are not being forced. There will be no negative repercussions for refusing. You are a victim in this, and we will treat you as such throughout this investigation. But if you help us, we can not only make Nohk face punishment for what he did, we can get those helping him as well. Would you like some time to think about it?" "I'll do it," she said without hesitation. "Thank you. We'd like you to come to the station now. We'll bring you back for this afternoon and take care of everything to cover your absence."
Hours of not talking followed. Not talking while the police officers explained how all the equipment worked. Not talking while they told her what to do, and how they would be on hand to help her the moment things turned ugly, in the unlikely event that they did. Most of all, there was no talking between her or her mother. The lack of dialog between them was so loud it made Ozyel's ears ring. On occasion the girl would catch a glance of her mother's expression, and a bolt of agony would race across her chest until she turned away.
And by way of painful silence and periods of mute terror, Ozyel made it back into her own car, being driven by her own mother to Nohk's house. She stood, numb and mute, as Maggie and a portly man she didn't know made the obligatory small talk. She gave the rote responses by instinct. Hello sir. Thank you for letting me visit, sir. Yes sir. I promise mom. The entire conversation was mechanical and by rote, as though the parents had been given cards to memorise with blank spaces left for names. The front door closed. Inside, Ozyel screamed for her mother not to leave her. Reality was flooding in too fast for her to cope. This was the last place she wanted to be right now, trapped in a stranger's house with a boy who was up to no good, and who had made his interest in her painfully clear. The father led her to a door under the stairs, commenting how she looked a little unwell and that she should relax. It opened to reveal a set of stairs leading down, and every instinct told the girl to turn and run, right now. Nevertheless, her feet betrayed her and carried her onward to an uncertain fate. The cold grey brick of the walls gave way to birch panels and lush green carpet. A vintage pool table dominated the central space, with curved screens and holoprojectors hung on the walls. A strange wall ornament hung opposite her, a black disk with beige wedges and little red and green rectangles. There were numbers on it like a clock, but they were haphazard and in a seemingly random order. Toward the back of this vast space, swinging his feet off of a red leather sofa with idle eagerness, was Nohk. "Have fun you two. I'll be back down to check on you shortly," the father said, with extra emphasis on "shortly". Nohk gave a smile and a single quick nod, but kept quiet. When his father was safely out of the way the Daysider hopped onto his feet and fished around in his back pocket. "You made it!" he brought forth a clear plastic bag of pale blue pills. "And I've got just the thing to celebrate! My own personal stash! I don't dare take it into school. To be honest, I don't much like to share them. Way too good for ordinary punters." "What are they?" she asked. Despite all she'd been through, an unwelcome curiosity came to her, hand in hand with a guilty craving to try the mystery pills. Nohk shook the bag invitingly. "Little something from the Homeworld. They cut the caffeine with some kind of wild flowers that gives it an amazing kick. Best of all, little to no side-effects. All pleasure, no pain. Want to try?" "Wouldn't be here if I didn't," she answered, hoping it sounded genuine. With the pill held up to chest height and on display to the hidden camera in her top button, Ozyel turned toward the stairs and said, "I hope I'm not going to get busted with this." "We've got at least ten minutes all to ourselves. You're not the first friend whose come over to play." Not wanting to arouse suspicion, Ozyel popped the pill in her mouth and took a swig of the offered blackcurrant drink. Nohk seemed overjoyed at her for doing so. "Why don't you take a seat? I've got to go upstairs and use the little boy's room." "And then we discuss payment, right?" The Daysider winked at her, licked his lips and answered, "I'm sure we'll work something out. I'll be right back."
She settled on the sofa and tried to relax for a moment. It was a very nice room, a far better play space than she'd ever known a Penny to have access to. She imagined that, where the circumstances different, she could have really enjoyed being here. Hell, she might even enjoy Nohk's company. But as it was she just couldn't relax. As the minutes ticked by the butterflies in her stomach got worse and worse. In fact, they seemed to be moving. "I feel... funny..." she mumbled for the benefit of her audience. "My arms and ... legs are tingling. Dizzy ..." She lay back on the sofa as footsteps on the staircase heralded the return of Nohk, accompanied by his father. The boy had a predatory grin on his face, while the father looked equal parts curious and hungry. "You don't look so well," he said, standing directly in front of her. "Ozyel? How many fingers am I holding up?" "Mmfr," she mumbled. Her limbs were leaden and refused to obey her. Her tongue felt like it had swollen to fill her entire mouth. "And what do you have there?" he asked in a sadistic tone. His hands ran along the front of her jeans, probing her. "Is this a bag of pills? Were you trying to deal to my boy? What a bad little girl you are!" Ozyel's eyes widened in fear as she felt his hands move under her and unfasten the button above her tail. She tried to fight, but in her drugged state could hardly manage more than a slight squirm. "Do you know what would happen to you if the police knew about these? You'd be a Black Circle for a very long time! So I'm going to do you a favour; I'll keep your secret, and in return all you have to do is lie there... and then you can buy Nohk's silence too." Her pants were off and on the floor. The man's fingers slipped inside the elastic of her underwear. She tried to scream but all that came out was a dull moan. Tears flooded from her eyes as her slit was bared and her attacker unzipped himself, coaxing his half-formed erection to full readiness.
From upstairs there came a muffed bang, followed swiftly by another. Ozyel perceived it all in a vague haze of blue-black figures rushing down into the room and shouting at her captors. Firm hands grabbed her and carried her up and out of the room to a waiting ambulance, where she was wrapped in a cream towel to restore her decency. All the while a female voice assured her that she was alright, that she was safe, and that everything was going to be okay. But even so, she cried herself unconscious. She spent the next few days in hospital, visited regularly by police and therapists alike. She didn't listen to what they had to say about how she was or what she'd been through. She retreated inward, seeking shelter in the confines of her own head. The hospital moved around her in a blur of blinking blue and green lights and the god-awful mint-and-vomit palette of the walls and furniture. Sometimes she slept, always badly, kept awake by the constant background noise and the unsettling ghosts of people in her thermal vision. Her mother was a constant companion, albeit one whose kind and supporting words never seemed to gel with the tone in which they were spoken. At one stage, she recalled being asked to appear in court to testify. Or perhaps she imagined it. Either way, she didn't go to court. Four days later she was home. The house seemed to have had all its colour bled away. Grey clouds made the sky heavy and unwelcoming. The flowers were under-watered and yellowing or dead. It was familiar, and yet unfamiliar. As Ozyel walked inside she found herself examining every corner, her tongue frequently stroking across her lips as though to dislodge whatever was on the tip of it. She went upstairs, feeling that they creaked and groaned in the wrong order, and found her bedroom as she left it. That room too had the disquieting wrongness that had made itself at home in the rest of the house. It wasn't her room, she realized; it was the room of a girl who hadn't destroyed her life for a second time. Maggie stood over her, arms folded, face as hard as stone. "I am glad that you are safe, Ozzie. I am also very, very glad that they didn't charge you with anything. A judicial punishment would have broken you, and I don't want that for you. But I am so very, very angry with you! I can't believe you would do something like this!" Ozyel simply hung her head and tried her best not to cry. "How long has this been going on? How many times have you gotten high?" "I've never gotten high," Ozyel answered softly. It was clearly the wrong answer to give. "You've admitted to the police you were taking pills! You admitted it to me! Why deny it now?" "That's not getting high!" she protested. "I never took anything dangerous until I got tricked!" Maggie looked ready to burst into a full-blown rant, but kept it in check. She took a calming breath and counted to ten before continuing in a calmer, more controlled tone. "When did you start taking pills?" "About four months into my sentence." The confession made Maggie's jaw drop. "It's not been all the time, just once or twice over about a month and then I wouldn't take anything for a long while after. I didn't want to do it, but I was having so many bad days... I couldn't cope. I needed a way out, and that seemed like the only way. All I wanted was to feel normal again." "Well at least you've come clean now," Maggie said, somewhat shocked by the revelation. "I just wish you'd have told me how you felt in the first place, or even admitted what you'd done right at the start. It would have been a lot easier on you." Ozyel shook her head. "I couldn't. I knew I'd be in serious trouble if you found out, and I was scared of what kind of punishment I'd get. The longer it went on the worse I knew it'd be so I just hoped you'd never catch me." "You know better than to lie like that, Ozzie. At least I thought you did." The girl's head snapped up and she finally met her mother's eye. "If you knew me at all you'd know exactly why I lied to you! I'll take guilt over a blistering any day of the week!" "Ozyel!" The girl flinched at the use of her proper name. Her ears fell flat against her head and her body slumped, defeated. In a low, teary voice she said, "you can't blame this all on me. You can't expect me to do what you say is right and then hurt me for doing it!" To Ozyel's surprise her mother replied, "maybe you're right. I've always punished you for doing wrong, but I've also been more lenient when you had the courage to come forward and admit your mistakes. Maybe that gave you mixed messages. Maybe you started thinking this way because of something I missed. And because of that, and everything that's happened, punishing you now would just make everything that much worse."
Maggie shifted her weight awkwardly from one foot to another, silently chewing over her thoughts before speaking them. "Even though no formal charges have been made, a series of notes have been left on your record. The council has noted that you display a gross inability to make sound moral judgments; they deem you a high flight risk and someone likely to violate substance control orders again if given the opportunity. This is very, very serious, Ozyel." "I know," she sulked. "I'm going to get it at Christmas." "It's much worse than that. From now on you are required to wear a Secrui-Band on your wrist or ankle so your position is monitored at all times. When in social situations you must be kept under supervision of a trusted adult, and you cannot be left alone with other Rejuves. All privileges of trust and responsibility are to be removed with immediate effect. Discipline cycle is also to be reset to a mandatory three unearned spankings per week, adjusted for age." "What!? Mom no! Please-" "This is from the Corrections Council!" Maggie answered firmly. "They have decided this is what you need. Furthermore, you will be required to provide urine samples three times per day to ensure you are clean of illegal substances. You will be subject to random searches of your person and possessions. There will also be physical examinations for signs of unlawful sexual conduct." Tears streamed down the girl's muzzle as her fate was read out. She clutched her head in her hands and sobbed, unable to face the extent of what was to come. "Furthermore, your actions have consequences for more people than just you. Investigations are being made into the school to determine how and why this drug trade was able to go unnoticed. And I'm afraid it has repercussions for me as well. My parenting licence is suspended pending a full review of my conduct and suitability to raise Penitatas." A series of choking sobs signaled Ozyel's breakdown into full-blown, uncontrolled crying. She howled like she'd been switched over blisters. Somewhat to Maggie's surprise, the girl flung herself into her arms and soaked her shirt with tears. "No mom! No ple-e-ease don' g-go! 'M sor-r-ry!" "It'll be alright, Ozzie," Maggie said, blinking back tears as she stroked the girl's head.
But they both knew it wasn't true.