How It Goes - Part 2
#2 of How It Goes
This is part two, and the second half of the written story before the year-long pause.
As this was written around Christmas, a lot of my winter depression influenced the direction of the story.
Admittely, I do find the second half of this part to be rather melodramatic. On the other hand, it also is the basis of Scott's character.
I cannot say I relate to the loss of a loved one through death, but I have loved and lost. I can relate to Scott in many ways. In particular, irrationality, and the crippling fear of loss.
As for the abrupt month timeskip, I had planned to write multiple events which happened in-between. I never got around to it, and consequently, I figured it was better to keep the story going forward when I returned to write, rather than try to figure out what I wanted a year ago.
Do enjoy the read.
They step off No. 14. It's still snowing, an inch of white carpet draped across the pavement. Yellow street lights illuminate the dark evening roads. Theo drapes an arm across Scott's shoulders, and points forward. "My apartment's over there."
"Short walk for the bus," Scott huffs. He leans a little into Theo, who doesn't seem to react.
"Yeah, bloody good deal too. Rent's a tad high but I manage, the apartment's pretty big. Live alone too." They leave footprints as they leave the bus shelter and cross the road. Theo pushes open the iron gate and guides Scott past, before closing it behind them. They walk up a set of wooden, snow-riddled stairs. The lock clicks, and the door opens.
Theo closes the door behind them as Scott kicks off his shoes. The bear takes a right into a different room. "Just get comfortable, I'll get started on dinner."
Scott walks over to the couch, 3DS in hand. He sits down in a corner. There are video game posters on the wall. Multiple consoles stand huddled under a large wide-screen TV. Strategy guides and games riddle the bookcase with the occasional book. "Want anything to drink? I got water, juice, Tango..."
"I could go for some Tango," Scott replies. Theo comes waddling out with a glass and a bottle of orange. He grins at Scott.
"Here you go. You aren't allergic to anything, are you?" Should've asked earlier."
"No." Scott shrugs.
Theo laughs. "Good, good. Hope you like pasta, then. If you want to play," he gestures to the telly, "Go ahead."
"Yeah, thanks," Scott smiles. He watches as Theo return to the kitchen.
"Any particular games you like?" Theo asks, picking up Scott's bowl of emptied food.
"RPGs in general. Puzzle-platformers. Turn-based. Generally games where I can take it slow."
"So no FPSes or fighting games?"
"I watched Tom and Brian play Halo, and Tom's rabid about fighters. I was never good at fighting games."
"What about Smash Bros?"
"Don't remind me," Scott says darkly, rolling his eyes. "Tom was a fanatic. I never won when we played. He went to tournaments and video game cons to compete professionally and stuff. It was all serious business."
"He seems a bit ..." Theo seems wary.
"Intense? He is." Scott puts the controller on the table and leans back into the couch, smiling. Theo scuffles a bit in his seat before he scoots closer to Scott, and he lays an arm across his shoulder. Scott leans into the bear's side.
"Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Yeah..."
Theo nods and checks his watch. He sighs. "I hate to be a bummer, but the bus leaves in 5 minutes."
Scott splays his ears. "Oh."
There's a momentary quiet. Scott looks up at Theo, who is surveying him with an odd expression. Theo breaks their eye contact by getting to his feet, rather abruptly. He almost tosses Scott off. "Let's hurry."
Scott watches Theo walk over to the entrance of his apartment, starting to get dressed, almost coldly. He follows the bear, slips into the jacket and puts on his shoes. Theo opens the door, and they step out into the cold November night.
"Here. Hot chocolate."
Brian places a steaming cup on the table. Scott looks up.
"On me," Brian smiles.
"Thanks," Scott replies, glancing at the till. "You won't get in trouble, will you?"
"Nah," Brian grins, fastening his apron. "Don't worry about it, Scott."
Brian returns to the counter. Scott takes a sip, and glances down at the book in front of him again. The radio hums a mellow tune, and the coffee shop's almost empty.
There's sudden, loud tapping on the window; Scott flinches and looks outside: Travers' grimacing face leers at him; Byrne and Stewart are mouthing 'faggot'; Colton is staring daggers and - Scott feels his body go numb - Theo stands huddled behind them, looking ashamed.
"Scott, who..." Brian strides over in a hurry; when he spots the gang, his face contorts into one of fury. Travers' eyes widen and he turns to the others; they leave immediately.
"Scott, are you okay?"
"Y...yeah, I..."
"Was that... Theo?"
Scott splays his ears. He stares at the table. Brian sighs. The door to the shop opens, accompanied by a chime.
"Tom," Brian calls out. Scott turns to look at Tom, who is grimacing, about to leave. "Fuck's sake, Tom, get your arse over here and keep Scott company."
The otter sees Scott, and shortly after joins him by the table. Brian pats Scott on the back, before he returns to the cash register.
"Did I just see-"
"Yes," Scott replies, his voice flat.
"Idiots," Tom mutters under his breath. Scott says nothing. "He's a twat. Why does he hang out with them? Why does he let them harass you like that?"
"Stop it," Scott mutters, biting his lower lip. Tom sighs.
"Seriously, Scott. Why are you going out with-"
Tom's cut short by a melody protruding from Scott's jacket. Scott pulls out his phone, and looks at the caller.
"It's Theo." Before Tom or Brian can say anything he answers.
"Scott? It's Theo. I wanted to say I'm sorry."
Scott lowers his head.
"Look, I know I should've stopped them-"
"It's okay," Scott mutters.
"What!? No, it's not!" Tom bursts out across the table. "He stood there watching them bully you, Scott."
"He's right," Theo says, bitterly. "I just stood there. I-"
"Can we hang out together on Saturday? At your place?"
There's a long silence. Tom looks stunned. Brian is frowning.
"What? Of course we can, but, Scott-"
"Don't worry about it," Scott continues, weakly.
"...Are you sure?"
"Yes," he says, firmly.
"...I'll meet you on No. 14. I'm sorry, Scott."
He hangs up. Scott puts the phone on the table.
"Scott, what the hell?"
Tom is glaring at him in disbelief. "'Don't worry about it'? You were hurt, Scott, and you're just letting him off the hook like that!?"
Their eyes meet momentarily. "I want to forget it happened." He lowers his head to read.
Tom opens his mouth to speak, but Brian shakes his head quickly. Gritting his teeth, Tom sighs and watches the wolf for a while, as Scott continues reading, stirring only to turn the pages.
"Uh... hello."
Scott looks up from the 3DS screen. Theo stands next to the idle seat, looking anxious.
"Hello," Scott replies quietly.
"Mind if I...?"
"No," Scott gestures to the open seat. Theo sits down next to him. Their eyes meet momentarily, before Theo looks away, his face lowered as though ashamed. Scott lowers his head again, and continues his game. The bus starts moving, breaking the awkward silence.
After several stops, Theo nudges Scott gently. "Our stop's here," he mutters.
Scott closes the screen of his 3DS and pockets it; he follows the bear off the bus, into the hammering rain and cutting wind. Scott catches a glimpse of what looks like Theo offering his hand, but the moment passes instantaneously as he strides through the storm. Scott follows close by.
After the rustle of keys, they both step into Theo's dry, empty apartment. Theo sighs and mutters, "Lock the door."
Scott closes the door and locks it. They slip out of their coats and walk into the living room. Scott settles down into the couch, while Theo wanders around, looking restless. He casts an occasional glance at Scott, before he opens his mouth to speak. No words come out. Scott splays his ears.
"Sit down...?" Scott asks, softly. Theo bites his lower lip, but walks over to sit down next to him. He takes a deep breath.
"Scott, I'm sorry about-"
"Don't worry about it." Scott takes a hold of Theo's hand. "You already apologised."
"But I hurt you," Theo says, matter of factly.
"You did." Theo looks ashamed. "But I'm here, aren't I? I want to be here."
"I don't understand ...why."
"Because I like you," Scott says flatly. "I thought that was obvious."
Theo lowers his gaze slightly. Scott does too, sighing quietly before he leans forward and hugs the bear. There's a confused murmur, a stutter, a deep breath... and Theo returns the hug. He nuzzles the back of Scott's head, and mutters, "I'll do better."
When they break off, they both smile. Theo glances about the room "So, uh. What do you want to do?"
"Just want to relax, honestly," Scott replies, looking too. "If you want to do anything..."
"How about... music and games?"
"And sweets?"
"And sweets. Of course." Theo beams and moves over to his computer. Within the minute, the opening riff to Hysteria rumbles, and Scott taps his foot to the rhythm, the TV screen lit up, both of them with controllers in hand.
The streets are white, scarcely touched by barely-existing traffic. The sun gleams behind thick, grey clouds above, and there is snow in the air. Theo is humming under his breath when he casts a glance sideways.
"Scott?"
In the distance, Scott turns his head; Theo strides past the gates with a grin, hurrying along. "Scott! Merry Christmas!" He yells, "What are you doing out here? I was on my way to your house, I bought you a gift for, y'know, today."
Scott doesn't reply; he turns his head back as Theo finishes his light jog. "Blimey it's cold today, isn't it? Was a bit nervous about coming up to your house, honestly, since you mentioned your mother wasn't too fuzzed about... about..."
Theo glances at what Scott's watching. A marble tombstone, covered in snow, looks back at him.
Julia Oliver-Edwards
28. Dec. 1964
25. Dec. 2003
Beloved wife, cherished mother.
Sleep on now, and take your rest.
Theo's mouth opens slightly. Scott says nothing as he stares at the headstone. His eyes are red and wet. Theo tries to speak, but words won't come out. He lowers his head slightly, bites his lower lip, and casts wayward glances around. They aren't alone on the graveyard; other people are paying tribute as well. He looks at Scott; the wolf doesn't respond or react at all. Theo takes a deep breath, and gently grabs Scott's hand.
"Scott?"
Scott shivers. The sun has vanished behind the thick clouds, and the snowfall is growing thicker. "Maybe we should head home, Scott."
Scott nods weakly. Theo's grip around his hand strengthens as he is guided out of the empty graveyard. Theo huffs and looks worriedly at Scott as they cross the street. "I... I didn't know," Theo says quietly. "About your..."
Scott says nothing. They walk down the street, across another crossing, past coloured lights and loud, drunk carollers. They stop outside a driveway, covered in snow. "Is this your place?"
"Yeah," Scott mutters, weakly.
"Do you want me to... to leave?"
Scott doesn't look at Theo. "No."
Theo nods, a bit faintly. They stride up the driveway while Theo brushes snow off himself and Scott. There is movement from the right window, and seconds later the door opens.
"Scott," Scott's father says, his voice half exasperated, half relieved. "And you are...?"
"Uh, Theo. Sir," Theo answers as Scott walks past his father, into the house.
"Well, thank you for bringing my son home," Scott's father says. "Are you leaving right away?"
"Well, actually, sir, I wanted to ... to visit," Theo replies, a bit more firmly. Scott's father narrows his eyes slightly, but leaves the door open.
"Brush the snow off properly, if you please."
Theo takes care to brush off all the snow, and enters. Scott gazes at the floor, his jacket still in his hands. From the living room, the Doctor Who theme song bellows from the telly. Theo glances around; photographs of Scott, his father and a female wolf decorate the wall.
"Is... that your...?" Theo mutters quietly to Scott, as he glances at the photo.
"Step-mum," Scott replies quietly. He hangs up his jacket.
"Where do we... uh. Go?"
"Upstairs." Scott leads Theo through a doorway and up a set of stairs, and then into the furthermost room in the second-floor hallway. Scott turns on the light to his bedroom, and slumps over to the bed, where he sits down. Theo closes the door and sits down on the edge of the computer chair, sliding his rucksack from his shoulder to the floor.
"I got your gift," Theo says with a smile. He opens the top of his backpack and pulls out a large, gift-wrapped object. "Here."
Scott looks up and barely catches the gift as Theo gently flicks it in his direction. "Open it."
Scott unwraps it, slowly unveiling a large cuddly stuffed bear.
"I, uh. I met Tom downtown, I asked him what he thought you'd like for Christmas. He did tell me you didn't really celebrate, but I still wanted to give you something."
Scott says nothing. He looks at the stuffed bear.
"Listen, Scott, I... I've been meaning to tell you something." Theo shuffles uncomfortably in his seat. Scott looks up. "Ever since you asked me out, I've been... sorta confused. About... well, about who I am. And I... I know I've been a bit distant since the beginning of the month. I... it sorta struck me just before the holidays what's been bothering me."
Theo lowers his head. "What?"
"I'm scared," Theo says, his voice filled with self-loathing. "Terrified, to be honest. About... what my family will say, what my friends will do if they find out. I mean, I... it's sorta obvious, but I never really thought about it and I was just so... doubtful about everything, ever since after that first date. Wondering if I really wanted... this."
Theo looks up, biting his lower lip.
"It hit me a week ago... well, Tom actually did. I mighta mentioned it to him, see. He called me a coward. Which is true, I... I am a coward. That's what made me realise what's been nagging at me the last two weeks, what I've been so afraid to admit to myself."
Scott remains quiet. Theo scuffles out of his seat and sits down next to Scott.
"I... I do want this, Scott, I... I think I'm in love with you."
Theo raises his head, and their eyes meet. There's a momentary silence.
"I'm in love with you too," Scott whispers as he grabs Theo's hand. Theo leans in. Their noses touch. Their laden breaths mix. Scott closes his eyes; Theo tilts his head and presses his lips against Scott's.
"You're heavy," Theo huffs against Scott's lips, their noses rubbing.
"Oh... want me to move?" Scott whispers back.
Theo nods, and Scott slides off, pressing against the bear. Theo wraps his arms around Scott and nuzzles the top of his head.
"Didn't think I'd like kissing that much," Scott murmurs.
"That was your first time snogging?"
"No." Scott splays his ears. "Was it yours?"
Theo shakes his head. "No."
"Oh." Scott nuzzles Theo's chin.
"Me and my ex used to. And, uh. Her brother.." Theo mutters, his cheeks going red.
"Her ... brother?"
"Yeah, see... well, was at a party. My girl's place, her parents were out of town, just her and her younger brother, see. Was a round of spin the bottle, y'know what it's like, my girl spins it and says that whoever it lands on has to go upstairs to her brother's room and bring him downstairs, and kiss him. Of course the bottle points to me."
"And you did it? Were your mates at the party?"
"Well, yeah, they were. We were all right pissed, though. Guys snogging is more a laugh kinda thing, a lot of girls seem to love it. Anyway, so the bottle points to me and I stride upstairs, slam open the door and just... kiss him. He was right miffed, yelled at me, cursed at me to get the fuck out. So I took him downstairs, only to remember I was supposed to kiss him once I'd taken him to the others, so I kissed him again. Strangely, that shut him up."
Scott snickers.
"Well, see, it didn't really end there. Party went out for another three hours before people started leaving. Me and my girl were snogging on her couch, right, getting a bit heated when she passes out. I'm still pissed, but I somehow carry her upstairs. Her bed wasn't big enough for me, though, so I went downstairs to the sofa when I stumble into her bro. He just looks at me, all funny-like, as I stagger down the stairs. Accidentally broke a vase on the way down and he comes running down, all angry. I just slump into the couch, getting a bit grumpy when he tells me to fuck off. So I tell him, 'fuck you' and before I know it he's climbing up my chest, pressing his lips against me, ripping my shirt off."
Scott splays his ears slightly. "Did you two...?"
"Nah. Was a bit of a size problem, see. Never did my ex either."
"Size problem...?"
"Well, see, they're otters. And... well. She's..." The flush grows deeper. "She was really... tight. Really tight. We fooled around a bit, but never... all the way. Her brother groped me a lot during the fooling around, I think I cupped a feel too, but he sorta sobered up at some point, seemed to realise what he was doing. He just climbed off me and went upstairs, leaving me there. I didn't really think about it, I just laid down on the couch and fell asleep."
Scott nods and nuzzles at Theo's chin. "What happened when you woke up?"
"Well, she-"
The door opens; they both glance at the doorway. "Scott, your mother and I-"
Scott's father freezes and looks at them from the doorway, his expression uncomfortable. He lowers his gaze slightly. "We're going to bed, Scott."
"Okay," Scott replies. Scott's father closes the door. Theo looks concerned.
"Is he not okay with this?"
Scott shakes his head. "He is, I think he just didn't want to interrupt us."
"That's good..." Theo nuzzles Scott's cheek gently.
"So what happened?"
"Oh, right, well, nothing much, honestly. She came downstairs, we fooled around a bit and then had lunch. Her parents came home later that day so I left before the yelling started."
"Yelling?"
Theo nods with a sigh. "Yeah, her parents weren't happy with her inter-species relationship. Why we broke up, to tell you the truth."
"Huh." Scott lets out a soft yawn as he presses closer. Theo brushes his muzzle up against Scott's, and their lips meet.
"Merry Christmas," Theo murmurs, kissing him softly. Scott flushes and returns the kiss. There's a grumble from Theo's stomach.
"Are you hungry?"
"Very," Theo admits with a faint smile. Scott kisses Theo gently.
"Me too," Scott says quietly. "Let's go get something to eat."
"Cold today," Theo says quietly, putting on his shoes.
"Will you be okay, walking home in this wind?" Scott murmurs, leaning against the wall as he closes the door.
"Yeah, should be." Theo finishes tying his shoes and rises. "I've really enjoyed myself, Scott."
"Me too," Scott replies with a smile. Theo steps forward and kisses Scott, gently. Scott flushes and leans against the bear.
"Say, if you'd like to stay a night at my place..."
"I'd like to. Not tonight, though, family night and all."
"Ah, well, same for me, really. Mum's not going to be happy I didn't show up yesterday," Theo says, half-embarrassed. "You busy tomorrow?"
"Think so, yeah, going to hang with Brian and Tom. I'm sure you could come join us, if you want to."
Theo shifts a bit. "I'd rather not intrude. They don't like me much either, I don't think."
"They don't," Scott nods with half a smile, "But they're my friends. And... well..."
"I think I'll pass. I think the gang might want to meet up."
Scott lowers his gaze slightly as Theo looks away.
"Look, Scott, I still need to... ease into the idea. I'll come hang with your friends some time, just... not tomorrow. Okay?"
"Okay." Scott nuzzles Theo's chin, and the bear smiles down at him.
"I should probably get on my way."
"Yeah..." Scott replies, their eyes locked in a gaze. Theo places his hand on Scott's shoulders as he presses his lips against the wolf's; momentarily afterwards, there's a loud cough, and Scott's father looks at them from the doorway to the living room.
"Scott, your grandmother will be here shortly," Scott's father says, his voice a bit reluctant, as he leaves. Theo flushes and grins.
"Your dad's really awkward," he giggles.
"He's a bit odd, yeah," Scott replies with a sigh and smile.
"I'll be on my way, then." Theo kisses Scott on the forehead and opens the door. The cold winter wind breezes into the entrance hall. "See you, Scott."
Theo strides out under the open sky, through the snowed-down driveway and to the gate. As he opens the port to leave, he hears Scott's call from the door.
"Are you busy on New Years?"