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A Favourite Situation Chapter 17

By Kendo Kawabata

The last thing that Spencer ever expected to see on his answering machine was a message. At all. Nobody ever called his home phone, and no-one ever rang his cell. The only calls he ever really received were from telemarketers. But they usually ended up on the receving end of an 'not interested, piss off' the minuted they explained they were from some company asking him to sell raffle tickets.

It had been well over a month since he had lost his job at the warehouse, and he had no contact with anyone from there. None of the workers had called to even offer their sympathy that he had gotten fired, or even showed concern. He didn't really care though. It's not like he wanted friends when he went to that place anyway.

But to get a message from Thomas after all was said and done? That was the most surprising thing.

"Spencer. I would like to meet you at the nearby iHop at 5pm tomorrow. I have some issues that I would like to discuss with you. If you do not arrive, I will assume you were not interested."

It wasn't easy for him to hear Thomas' voice again. He was more then surprised to hear that it was actually him on the machine. It had been a rough month for him, not physically but mentally. Having been forcibly cut off from the one person who he had been willing to open his heart to again, it was much more an arrow to his heart then anything. The fact that he had lost his job as well, that wasn't as hurtful.

What hurt him the most, was the fact that he would never be able to see Matt again. Unless he had official bureau business to go anywhere Matt, Spencer would have to keep his distance. And since Thomas had found the evidence, or rather Matts unintentional testimony that he had never intended to be found, he didn't' want to give him any reason to do anything worse.

Spencer did not have a reason to say no to the offer though. He had no idea what these so called 'issues' were that Thomas wanted to talk to him about. And he kinda had no desire to actually find out. But he also kinda had a little bit of curiosity about the issue as well, although it was kind of overshadowed by the fact that he simply wanted to punch Thomas in the face and then go after Timothy.

Yet if he did that, he'd be the bad guy. Again.

Spencer rarely went to any kind of iHop, as all franchises ended up being pretty much the same after a while. It used to be going out and enjoying a good time by socialising with your friends and enjoying good food and good drinks. Nowadays, you had to put up with parents of screaming children who were not able to give them a spanking in public, and dealing with twits complaining about there being no free wifi and taking pictures of everything they did and ate for pointless instagram purposes.

Frankly, he preferred just ordering some home delivery and eat it on the couch while watching something on Netflix. He was yet to be disappointed by his preferred routine. Going out to an iHop with the guy who fired you and tore your life to shit again, it was not appealing.

But, the curiosity on what these issues were enough to make him actually get out of bed and stay out of bed long enough to take a shower and find some clean clothes amongst the chaos of his room and actually leave his house for the first time in a week or two. Or maybe it was three, he had no idea any-more.

Spencer pulled his suv into the parking lot, his mind abuzz with thoughts over what these issues could possibly be about. By the time he cut the ignition in the car and the engine died down, he still had no idea what it could be about. When he had been fired and told never to approach Thomas or the warehouse for any reason, he assumed it was the last time he'd ever deal with them in any way.

"Although, I suppose that could be reason" he thought ot himself as he leant back in the drivers seat and stared through the windshield at the other cars in the parking lot. The bureau had yet to call him about his masters licence being suspended, or about his overseers licence either. In fact, the bureau hadn't called him about anything, not even to ask him about the reason that he was let go from his position at Thomas' business.

If a master of a slave put up a big enough complaint, or ranted about it enough, it would be enough to warrant an investigation, which could carry a penalty of either having your licence revoked for a period or time, or, possible jail time. If Thomas wanted to, although there was no such thing as slave rape, he could still have Spencer pulled into the bureau for abuse of property. The Bureaus Board of Discipline was a selection of people with the power to make such a decision about him.

But, no such meeting had taken place and no such calls were made to him in the past month. As far as he knew, his licences were still in play and still valid. If he wanted to, he could probably end up going to another place and looking after someone else. But he shook his head and sighed to the thought. He didn't want another slave.

It wasn't just the fact that he wanted Matt to be his and be only his. He just didn't know if he could look after a slave for the right reasons any-more. He didn't trust himself to be in the right state of mind to take on such a responsibility on making any kind of decision over someone else's life.

With a sigh and another shake of his head, Spencer stepped out of the car and shut the door, locking it with a turn of his key. He dug his hands into the pockets of his black hoodie and strode his way to the front door of the iHop.

"Hi. Welcome to iHop" said a friendly enough looking vixen in a waitress uniform as he walked through the front doors, an annoying bell ringing above his head as he shut the door behind him. "Would you like me to see you to a table? Or are you expected?" the vixen asked again. Spencer took a moment to look around and he could see that the place was pretty full, with the type of people that he had thought about earlier.

"Actually, I'm here to meet someone....Tammy" he said as he took a quick glimpse of her name-badge, where it was perched right against her rather open cleavage. He had the feeling that if he looked even a fraction longer, she could probably have the excuse to call him a filthy perv. "Females" he thought to himself as he averted his gaze rather quickly.

"Well, please go right ahead and let me know if you need anything" Tammy said with a smile as she gestured her hand towards the packed restaurant. He nodded in her direction and started to manoeuvre his way through the mass of tables.

Thomas hadn't actually said where he wanted to meet him in the actual restaurant, so it took a few moments for him to spot him. He had to pass a few families with screaming children, and a bunch of teenage hipsters taking photos of their food. He shook his head as they seemed to take pictures from every damn angle they could find, before he was cut off by one of the idiots sticking his hand out, blocking his path as the twit called for a waiter.

"Can you take this back and get it reheated? You brought it to me cold" the tacky looking wolf said as he held his plate out to the waiter that he somehow magically summoned. The waiter took the plate and forced a smile on his face.

"Of course. I'll make sure it nuclear hot so that it'll be warm when you're done wasting time with pictures" the waiter said in a flat tone of voice as he stepped away. The tacky looking wolf looked visibly horrified at being spoken to like that and quickly got on his phone and muttered something about a live tweet about the waiters lack of hospitality.

Now able to move again, Spencer walked forward, grinning in amusement at the waiters comment as he kept a lookout for Thomas. He reached the second area of the restaurant where the booths were located in the back, and he was surprised to find that he almost missed him as he didn't immediately recognise him.

In all the time that Spencer knew him, Thomas had always had a rather stoic expression on his face that rarely changed. His pure white hair was always styled back and held in place by who knew how much hair gel. He was always dressed in a fancy tailored suit or an outfit that had a designer label on it. Thomas was always well groomed and presented himself well.

However, as Spencer approached the booth, he was surprised to see that Thomas looked like any of the other patrons in the iHop and didn't stand out at all. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans that looked like they were a design brand that went out of business in the seventies. He had a dark hooded jumper on that was at least a size too big for him. There was no wine glass in his hand, but there was a beer bottle there, as well as a couple more on the table. His whole appearance had a slight unkempt look to it, as if he had been sleeping in the same clothing for the past week.

For a moment, Spencer wasn't even sure that this was the right person until he spoke.

"Spencer. I will be honest. I didn't actually think you would show up" Thomas said as he looked up at the much bigger blackwargreymon. There was no denying that voice, even if it did sound like he was tired from not sleeping for said week. Spencer then took his hands from his pockets and slid int o the seat opposite Thomas and sat back a little.

"I almost didn't come" Spencer said as he looked over the table at him. "Couldn't figure out why you would even contact me" Spencer admitted as he sat back. "Or why I should bother coming at all, after what happened."

"To be honest, I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't turn up" Thomas said as he lifted his beer up and took a surprisingly long drink of it. He stopped when he caught Spencers surprised look and put the beer back down. "I didn't get rich and develop finer tastes when I was a kid. This kind of beer was all I could afford in college. I still like the taste" Thomas admitted. "But, I did have afeeling you would turn up."

"And how would you know that?" Spencer asked him as he gave him a serious look. Thomas licked his lips a little and leant back as he looked back at Spencer.

"Matt" Thomas said flatly. "You think I'm here because of him?" Spencer asked. "Why don't you give me a reason why I shouldn't just get up and leave right now?" He asked as he piked up a fork from the table and fiddled with it through his fingers. Thomas gave a slight shrug of his shoulders and then gave a slow nod towards him.

"I didn't file any charges against you" Thomas said. "Your licences are still valid, and there are no marks against your name whatsoever over your performance, or any official complaint given over your termination. If anything, your record with the bureau is still spotless" Thomas said. "So, if there is anything that is preventing you from talking to me this morning, I hope its not that" he said.

"I find it surprising that you didn't charge or file anything against me, considering what happened" Spencer said as he looked over at Thomas. "I assume you had a good reason not to do so?"

"Because I thought firing you from your position in my employ was punishment enough" Thomas said as he took another slow drink from his bottle. He drowned the rest of the liquid rather quickly, so he must have been nursing on it before Spencer got here, along with the rest of the bottles. Spencer wondered just how much Thomas had been drinking all day.

"Can I get you guys anything? Are you ready to order?" a waitress asked as she suddenly appeared at their table, pad and pen ready in her hands. She was a nice enough looking puma, although she had to have been at least sixteen to be looking that young. Although why she needed to be primped up with more make-up then Dolly Parton was a mystery to both the men.

"I'll have a bowl of bacon and cheese fries" Thomas said without looking at the waitress, his attention on Spencer. "I'm paying, so order whatever you like. And I'll have another beer" Thomas finished as the waitress wrote down everything.

"And you?" she asked as she looked at Spencer.

"I'll have the deep fried cheese sticks" Spencer said after taking a quick look at the menu. "And I'll have a Dr Pepper. Pitcher" Spencer said as the puma smiled and wrote it down before she headed off to take the order to the kitchen.

"Well, at least this place has good food" Thomas said as he put his empty bottle with the rest of the group on the tabletop.

"I never figured you to be a person to be in a place like this. It seems beneath you" Spencer said to him as he sat back, looking Thomas over. "You know, considering your practically a designer Ken Doll" he added.

"Just because I am rich doesn't mean I do'nt remember where I came from" Thomas said. "My parents used to drag me and my brother to an iHop or an Applebees or a Dennys every Friday night. Used to think it would bond us as a family to eat out as one" Thomas said as he made himself comfortable.

"I never heard you talk about your family, if ever" Spencer found himself saying in surprise. "It's only ever business with you" he admitted. "Tell the truth, I dont know much about you outside of work."

"Not to tell really" Thomas said. "In case you haven't noticed, my family is kind of fucked up" he said with a straight face. "My parents were distant workaholics and hardly ever showed any kind of empathy or compassion towards me. No matter how hard I worked or studied, it was never good enogh for them. They always said 'if you can do it yourself, you don't need help'. So I never got any."

"Aaron on the other hand, got everything he wanted. All he had to do was ask or screw up and my parents would come to his rescue" he said with a slight sneer on his features. "He got everything he wanted. They even paid for his wedding, after they realised he wasn't going to man up and take responsibility with the girl he got knocked up. I swear, until they finally died, they loved that bastard more then they did me" Thomas said rather bitterly.

Spencer was surprised. He had never heard Thomas speak like this, or even open up about anything personal before. He was here, in a regular diner, looking like a regular person, eating regular food, and drinking cheap beer. It wasn't so much as creepy, as it was downright disturbing.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Spencer said in disbelief. "Not that I care, or anyone would care, but I've never seen you looking or acting anything remotely like this. What the hell happened to pull that stick out of your ass?" he asked.

"I decided today, is the day that I officially give up" Thomas said to him with a straight face and no emotion in his voice. "I'm done. I'm done and dusted. I don't care any-more. I don't want to care any-more. I can't deal with this any-more, and I'm washing my hands with it" Thomas said straight to Spencer's face.

"Ok, I'm officially lost here" Spencer said, as he was surely not following with what Thomas was saying. "What the hell are you talking about? First you ask me to come here, to discuss some kind of issue, then I find you looking like some guy on the minimum wage on a bender. "Plus, I have no idea what the fuck you are one about, so please, either enlighten me or I'm just going to leave" he said.

Thomas shrugged, the look on his face suggesting he wasn't interested in arguing as he reached under the table and pulled out a black briefcase and placed it on the tabletop and snapped the locks open.

"Like I said, I'm giving up" Thomas said to him as he pulled a manilla folder from the briefcase and snapped the lid shut before dropping the papers onto the table. "I can't do this anymore. I gave it my best shot, and I managed to do was make things worse. So, I'm giving it up. Call it the cowards way out or whatever the hell you call it, but I'm walking away from all of this" he said as he pushed the folder towards Spencer.

"What the hell could you be giving up that makes you look like some deadbeat father" Spencer asked in surprise as he took the folder and opened it up. He was surprised by the amount of papers in it as he picked up the first one and began reading it.

"Being a father" Thomas said, the first time emotion came into his voice as he sounded very sad and disappointed as he leant back. The waitress then appeared with a cherry smile as she placed Thomas' beer in front of him and handed Spencer the pitcher. Spencer didn't register it as he found himself engrossed in the paperwork.

The papers were all highly legalised, written in tiny typo that was all technical mumbo-jumbo that too twenty pages to say "See Spot Run." What drove his eyes on the paper was the fact it that the letterhead was the same design from the B.O.S.S. It took him a moment to register that these were in fact legal bureau paperwork.

Spencer said nothing as he kept reading, unable to comprehend, at least at first, but as he continued to read, it started to make sense, at least what he was able to read and manage to decipher. But from what he was reading, things were going to seriously change. And in a big way.

Thomas let him read in silence as he picked up his beer bottle and took a firm drink from it. He didn't seem all that interested in Spencer reading he papers as he idly took in the surroundings, listening to the families argue and the hipsters complain about food. He just didn't seem interested in anything that was going on, like he really had given everything up.

Spencer finished reading and had to put the papers down, like they were almost made of flames and he was afraid of being burnt. He had to pinch his thighs a couple of times through his dirty jeans to make sure that he wasn't dreaming. But each little jolt of pain that his fingers created told him that this was indeed, real, and with Thomas' signature on the last page of the papers, in triplicate.

"Are...are you serious about all this?" Spencer asked as he sat back, looking at Thomas in disbelief. "You...you can't be serious. This is....I don't know what else to say..." he said in surprise.

"Tell me, does it look like I'm joking?" Thomas asked as he sat back in his chair. He did seem a little more tired then he had five minutes ago, almost like he was dreading an argument that he was sure to come.

"But...all of this...Thomas...this is serious shit" Spencer said as he leant forward. "You can't be seriosu about what you think you're doing" he said to him.

"I've told you before Spencer, I am serious. And I will repeat myself, I am not joking, nor am I making this decision irrationally. So, please, don't ask me again if I am serious" Thomas said to him as he took another drink from his bottle.

"Thomas, if you go through with this, you can't take it back. You can't go back from any of this, you do realise that, right?" Spencer asked him. Thomas shrugged a little as he took another swig from his bottle. If Spencer had to guess, he didn't really care.

"I made this decision last week. After a lot of thinking" Thomas said flatly as he put the bottle down. "I had it all finalised this morning. Everything is legitimate. It all comes active tomorrow morning. I even put in a little clause that says I can't change anything in that whatsoever. But I don't want to anyway" he said as he finished off the bottle of beer.

Spencer didn't say anything as he went back to looking through the papers, suddenly curious about that little fact. He found it on a sheet of paper near the back, with Thomas' signature to make it official. It didn't take long for Spencer to realise that this was exactly what Thomas had said it was. Thomas could not change anything that was written here. Everything was official and finalised.

"I can't believe...." Spencer said as he shook his head before he looked up at Thomas. "I can't believe that you are going to ..." but Thomas held up his hand and Spencer found himself going quiet.

"I am not going to discuss this" Thomas sasid as he gave him a stern look. "This is not a negotiation, nor are we discussing changing anything. Everything is finalised, and it all becomes offical as of nine am tomorrow."

"How did you know I'd even go along with this?" Spencer asked him.

"Like I said. Because of Matt. Do you really think I'm that blind as to how you two feel about each other?" Thomas asked him as he sat back. Spencer looked at him in surprise and was unable to actually say anything. "Yes, I did know about you two. Not the sex part, but I do know you two care about each other. I was fine with that, till you broke the rules."

"Which you fired me for" Spencer said with a bite of anger in his voice.

"Which you knew about, and still broke" Thomas said to him, not changing his tone of voice. "I know how much you care about him, so regardless of whether you came here or not, this would still happen. As I said, it will happen as of nine am tomorrow, so I will need you to help me" he said.

Spencer was about to argue with Thomas about the whole issue that had happened, but then he bit his tongue and sat back withotu saying a word. He couldn't deny it. He had known of the rules that were in place, they had been explained, multiple times to him before he even got to the warehouse. He had broken them, willingly. Afterall, hadn't he told Matt that night that there were multiple rules in place that prevented him from even giving a damn about him at christmas.

And yet, he had told Matt that he didn't care about them.

"You're right, it was my fault" Spencer said at last. "I knew the rules, so did Matt. And we both broke them. You had every right to do what you did to us" he said as he looked over at Thomas, who didn't seem bothered by his admission. Or that he cared. "But, to move forward, what is happening tomorrow that you want me?" he asked.

"I want you to come down to the warehouse and I want you to be there when I tell Matt and Timothy what I am going to do" Thomas said as he leant forward. "I want you to be there for Matt when I break the news of the changes that are happening, and what will follow when I am done" he said.

The waitress suddenly appeared again, almost seemingly out of nowhere with her hands holding their plates of food. She smiled as she placed a plate of bacon cheese fries in front of Thomas and a bowl of deep fried cheese-logs on lettuce in front of Spencer. Thomas gave her a request for another beer and she nodded as she walked off.

Spencer said nothing as he slid a cheese log into his fingers, suddenly feeling very hungry now that he had food in front of him. It didn't help that he hadn't had food all day either. He wrapped a slice of lettuce around the cheese-log and bit into it.

"You know that lettuce is decorative" Thomas said as he pierced some of the fries with his fork.

"You know you eat fries with your hands" Spencer pointed out to him.

They each allowed themselves a slight smirk to the other as they began to eat their food in reasonable silence together, only resuming their talking when they had finished eating what was on their plates.

"I take it you've been kept up to date on what's going on at the warehouse?" Thomas asked as he wiped his lips with the napkin. Spencer could tell from his tone of voice that he wasn't accusing, he was merely asking.

"A couple of the guys have sent an email or two telling me what's going on and letting me know of the details" Spencer said as he sat back. "That new overseer you hired, is an incompetant idiot" Spencer said flatly with a hint of anger in his voice.

"As if I didn't know that"Thomas said as he didn't sound happy with that fact. "Fresh out of school, fresh with an overseers licence, and absolutely no skill whatsoever in handling business, and absolutely no passion for it either with a one hundred percent belief of entitlement" he said. "Shipments have been delayed, deliveries have been late, items have gone missing, and all he can do, is blame Matt, because he made the decision that Matt needs to step up more and do more work to prove he's a good slave" he said flatly.

"Is he really only eighteen" Spencer asked in surprise. He had been hoping that the information he had been getting had been sorrowfully wrong. Turns out, it wasn't. All the horror stories he had been told, were in fact true.

"Eighteen and useless" Thomas said with a shake of his head. "I've always hated putting children in positions of employment where they are not suitable, but it would seem that the bureau is like any other employment agency. Incompetent" he said.

"If he really is this useless, why did you hire him?" Spencer asked as he refilled his glass of soft drink and took a long drink from it.

"I didn't. I chose you when I had the chance, and you were fired" Thomas said. "According to the bureaus rules, they are permitted to to replace you without giving me notice. They literally handed him to me and that was that" he explained. "He has no business sense, and the only thing he is interested in..."

"Is punishment" Spencer said as he narrowed his eyes at Thomas. "Is it true what the boys have been telling me? That all he does in punish Matt and nothing else?" he asked.

"Tell me what you've been hearing, and I'll tell you if its true or not" Thomas said as he took his beer and took another drink. Spencer was surprised that this was now his sixth beer and Thomas was still functioning rationally. But his surprise was short-lived.

"Is it true that Matt keeps breaking down multiple times in the day? That he can't stop crying whenever someone talks to him? That he's covered head to toe in bruises?" Spencer demanded as he looked at Thomas. "That he's nothing more then an abuse victim?" he demanded.

"that's true" Thomas said with a shrug again, and again his reaction was, like he didn't care. And Spencer found himself getting angry over it. So angry that he wanted to punch him in the face and be done with it, even with what was going to happen the next day.

"Don't you even care?" he demanded through gritted teeth.

"He's getting fired tomorrow, if that will make you feel better" Thomas said as he took another drink from his bottle. "I already have all the reasons typed up for the bureau to handle, so they can understand just how big of an asshole the little shit is" he said to him.

"This is your son we are talking about" Spencer said angrily. "How the hell can you sit there with a beer bottle in your mouth and tell me that you can't feel anything about your son being treated like some abused wife?" Spencer said. "You knew I was going everything I could to make Matt as happy as he was able to be, and you have me replaced with a spoilt little shit like this? And you expect me to sit here and believe that you don't care?"

"Why do you think I'm doing this?" Thomas asked him as he looked at him. "After the report I submit, he's not going to find work in any department of the bureau, and probably spend his golden youth years grilling deep fried cow parts at Burger King" he said.

Spencer wanted to say something, hell he wanted to just leap at him and start beating the crap out of him and keep going until someone pulled him off him. Hell, he wanted to slit that bastards throat for making Matts life even more worse then it currently was. Or maybe even do worse.

But soemthing made him stop. Thomas had repeatedly told him that he longer cared and he was giving up. Perhaps, he was really tired of caring and trying to care. Maybe he really was as defeated as he looked.

Or maybe there was more. It was then that Spencer realsied that no-one, not even himself, had asked Thomas why he had done what he had done, or the reasons behind it. No-one had tried taking his side or hell even wanted to understand him. Thomas was completely alone in all this, and he had absolutely no-one left. And no-one cared about him.

"Why are you doing this?" Spencer asked him.

"You'll have to be more specific then that" Thomas said as he drained the rest of his beer.

"Why are you doing this?" Spencer asked as he pointed to the foldor of papers. "It's been a year since you enslaved Matt, and you had every opportunity to chat to him about this and make it right. Hell, now? Why now? Why not six months ago, or when Luke tried to rape him?" he asked.

Thomas didn't say anything as he sat back and stretched a little before he leant forward and rested his arms on the table and looked over at Spencer. He suddenly looked a lot older then he had been a few minutes ago, and he just seemed to be getting more older and more tired as Spencer looked at him.

"That table over there, with the screaming eight year old boy that has thrown every piece of food that was given to him all over the floor?" he asked. Spencer looked over for a moment, having actually not noticed it.

"What about them?" Spencer asked.

"If my grandmother was at that table, she would have pulled that boys pants down and spanked him till he was red in the flesh and not thought two hoots about what any of these patrons would have thought" Thomas said flatly. "If my mother was at that table, she would have left his underpants up, but she would have spanked him till he cried and not cared what anyone thought. That would have been real discipline right there" he said.

"What's your point?" Spencer asked.

"If that mother lays a hand on her boy, even with the way he's been acting and screaming, someone in this place will call the police and report child abuse" Thomas said flatly. "She can't discipline that spoilt little brat without someone poking their nose into her business and telling her how to raise her child."

"There was a report in the news a while back, about a ten year old boy who broke into a nearby reptile exhibit at the zoo, and fed several highly endangered reptiles to an alligator. When he was caught, he was given a lifetime ban" Thomas said. "But then it was recended because someone somewhere thought the kid didn't know any better on what he was doing."

"Last month, there was an article in the newspaper about an eight year old boy, pictured with a cigarette in his mouth and beer in his hand, who threatened to put his sisters kitten in a blender if Santa didn't give him a ps4" Thomas said. "Do you think he got in trouble? Nope. Social workers were all over him to give him a nicer place to live and tell everyone how it was not his fault."

"I'm not sure I'm following" Spencer said, as he once again felt confusion.

"Discipline is not what it used to be" Thomas said. "Greenie political correct wank jobs have made it so that parents and law officials cannot punish children for what they do wrong. And they can't punish criminals either. We have so many jack asses running around trying to remind people of their needful rights as people, that they forget that they deserve to be punished for something that they did" he explained.

"I am not able to be a father, because I cannot discipline my children without someone somewhere telling me I'm doing a bad job" Thomas said to him. "And I am tired of trying to discipline my boy, with all the while I have someone screaming at me that I am an abusive asshole" he said.

Spencer said nothing as Thomas sat back on his seat, trying to understand what he was talking about. Oddly enough, he could sort of understand what he was going on about. Parents couldn't be parents any-more, they had to be 'besties' with their children. And discipline was getting so soft nowadays that kids could get away with anything.

"The world doesn't want me to be a father, so I'm giving up being one" Thomas said after a moment or two. "I just can't deal with this any-more. I'm too tired, both physically and emotionally" he said to him.

"What was the final straw?" Spencer asked. "Was it Matt, or Timothy?" he asked as he looked at him. "What pushed you over the edge over this?"

"Both. And a little bit of my brother I guess" he said to him. "I'm guess I'm just no longer as strong as I thought I was" he said as he looked around a little, rubbing his neck a bit with one of his hands.

"I have nowhere better to be then here" Spencer said to him. "Why don't you tell me why you do'nt care any-more? Why don't you tell me why you did it to Matt?" he asked as he leant forward. "Thomas, I don't know if anyone has bothered to listen to your side of the story before, but I am. I see what your doing tomorrow, and I owe it to you to listen. Besides, I don't deny I'm curious" he said.

Thomas said nothing for several long moments as he listened to Spencer, and his face actually changed a little, a little gladness coming into his face like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. And maybe relief that someone actually wanted his side of the story.

"Did you know, that my brother has been officially declared bankrupt?" Thomas asked him. "Found out three weeks ago. He came to me for help. Begged me. He was actually on his hands and knees begging with tears in his eyes and snot dribbling from his nose. I slammed the door in his face, on my own brother" Thomas said.

"Aaron was always enjoying having everything handed to him and having everyone clean up his mistakes" Thomas continued. He hated working, hated school, he was the lowlife leech of a little brother that sucked all the charity and goodness from you while portraying himself to be a victim" he said.

"And he was my parents favourite. Not once did they ever say they were disappointed in him, or did they try and change him. Me, on the other hand, nothing I ever did was good enough for them. They were constantly disappointed in me. If they saw me now, running my own business and seeing how much money I made, do you know what they'd say to me?" Thomas asked. "Why aren't you international where the real market is? That's what they'd say."

"I swore, when I met my wife and we got married, that I would never become them. I would never play favourites with them. I would treat me children equally, and I would never stop loving them no matter how badly they fucked up" Thomas said. He then stopped talking as he slumped back in his seat and shook his head, his hand coming up to wipe his eyes.

"So what about now?" Spencer asked him as he looked, not wanting to say anything that might cause Thomas to hole it back up and not say a word. "What happened then?" he asked him.

"Do you know what it's like to lose your wife?" Thomas asked as he looked up, his eyes very moist. "Matt was a very easy labour for her. No problems, considering Matt was his first. Timothy though, there were complications. I don't know what they were, but I lost my wife that day. To this day, I can't go by a single day without missing her so badly it hurts" he said.

"My wife and I, we had Matt for five years" Thomas continued. "Five years of having an only son and watching him do everything. His first steps, his first words, the first time he called me daddy" he said, a faint smile played briefly on his face at the memory. "Hell, even his temper tantrums were adorable. We were just one happy family, just one big happy family together."

"But then Timothy was born" Spencer said quietly. Thomas nodded to him as he wiped his eyes again.

"My whole world fell apart. What was supposed to be a joyous occasion, was the same week that I buried my wife" he said. "I didn't know what to do. I was worse then I am now, unable to face the reality of what was happening to me. And then, I did what I promised I would never do. I turned into my parents" he said.

"You played favourites with Timothy" Spencer said to him.

"I let Matt get raised by nurses and nannies while I gave all of my attention to Timothy" Thomas said. "I told myself over and over it was because Matt had a mother and Timothy didn't, so he was more needful. I treated Timothy like my first-born son, and I let Matt grow up alone" he said as he got a distant look on his face as he remembered.

"There were times when I regretted what I was doing, like I was waking up to what was going on. When I realised all the times I left him behind and I forgot about him. But then, I'd see that Timothy needed me, and whatever regret I had, it was gone when I saw how much Timothy needed my attention" Thomas said.

The waitress appeared again, refilling Spencer's pitcher of Dr Pepper and handing Thomas another bottle of beer. Spencer didn't say anything as he was starting to see behind the stoic mask that Thomas had put up every day of his life. He was even starting to understand, just a little, where he was coming from.

"Growing up, I never had to worry about Matt. He was a good boy, all things considering" Thomas said. "I guess I felt better about it, knowing that Matt didn't need me as much as I believed he did. He didn't turn into the perfect little nerd that a lot of boys o, but he got the best grades to his abilities. And I was proud of him. I was always proud of him, but I just never was able to tell him. Timothy though, he was failing and he needed my attention more then Matt. And I'd forget about him all over again."

"Before I knew it, Matt was all grown up. He'd finished school, and he was ready to make his way into the world. And I had completely missed it. I had missed everything, and he had grown up without me. I had no idea where the time went, but I guess I found Timothys accomplishments in football were more interesting then Matts absence in my life" he said.

"So, what made you decide to do what you did?" Spencer asked him. "I want to hear it from you" he said.

"One day, I get a call at my office from the police saying that my son was in a car accident" Thomas said. "I get told that he and a group of his friends had been drinking, while under-age, and they had gone out smashing mailboxes and damaging property and had ended up in a car accident" he said.

"I think we've heard this part before" Spencer said.

"And every-time I say it, someone somewhere says Matt doesn't deserve what's happened to him over one little accident" Thomas said to him as he leant back against the seat. "To be honest, when I got that call, I had no idea what to do about it. I was lost again" he said.

"Sorry, but I don't think I believe you about this" Spencer said after several tense moments had passed between the two of them. "You've always given me the impression that you played out everything in advance" he admitted.

"At the time, I didn't know what to do" Thomas said to him. "It was the first time I had ever been called about something like that, and it was the first time that Matt had gotten into trouble with the law as he did" he said. "Honestly, it felt like I wasn't hearing about my son, it was like I was hearing about a stranger."

"While I was trying to figure out what to do and how to handle it, I got a call. A call from the Bureau. They wanted to make an appointment with me, to discuss my sons indiscretion and help support me over it" Thomas explained. "So, I arranged a meeting with them.

"That's how they work" Spencer said to him. "They have their people in law enforcement and in circles surrounding the legal system. They like to have their eyes and ears everywhere, to sniff out potential candidates for the. And they call people who are weak in moments like that to offer a way out" Spencer said.

However, he got a rather stern glare from Thomas the minute he said that, and he was slightly taken aback.

"I'm not going to try and insult myself or anyone in saying that I wasn't weak, or that they continued to barrage me until l gave in because I couldn't take it any longer" Thomas said. "Yes, I was weak, and yes, they were very convincing in their arguments. But in the end, I cannot blame anybody else but myself for making the decisions to do what I did. That is on me and me alone" he said.

"Then why choose slavery?" Spencer asked him as he leant forward as well. "From what I understand, Matt was punished for what he did. Why did you choose to further punish him when you could have let him sit through probation and be done with it?" Spencer asked.

"Because the court didn't punish him" Thomas said to him. "The face that you don't get, that fact that no-one seems to get, is the fact that Matt broke the law. He was in a car accident. Yes, I get the fact that it was a minor accident and nobody but the car was damaged, but with if it had been worse? What if he ended up in hospital in a body cast? Or worse, in the Morgue?" Thomas asked him.

"That's the bit no-one seems to get" he said. "Matt could have been in a worse off condition then he had been, and all he got was a slap on the wrist. The courts treated him like every other brat out there that does something horrible, and told him 'don't do it again'. It was not a punishment, it was pathetic" he said.

"I was afraid for him" he continued. "I was afraid that he would turn into every other spoilt kid that got into trouble and end up believing that he could get away with it. I was afraid that he would try it again, and then next time, I might not even have a son that will come home" he said. "How is probation any kind of deterrent for him to learn from if it doesn't actually punish him?" he asked.

"That is the one thing that nobody seemed to get. I could have lost my son that night, and nobody wanted to punish him over it" he said. "But the bureau was willing to do it" he said. "They were willing to punish him so badly that it would shock him into making sure that he never sets a toe out of line again. And there is nobody that I can blame but myself for making a decision that day" he said.

Thomas took another drink of his beer as the waitress appeared again, once more to ask if they needed any more food or another drink. Thomas ordered a platter that came with fried chicken, chips and waffled. Spencer opted for the double bacon cheeseburger. She smiled and wrote down their order before she walked off.

"It was perhaps the hardest decision I ever made" Thomas admitted. "I had cold sweats and my hand was shaking when I signed the papers and got the ball rolling on it" he said to him. "The minute I made that decision, I wanted so badly to take it all back. But I couldn't. I had to go through with it. Being a parent, you can't back out of a punishment if you commit to one" he said.

"every emotion I had, every instinct I had as a father, I chose to ignore it and fight those instincts as I told myself that I was doing the right thing" he said to Spencer. "But I fought through, trying to protect him even though I knew what I was putting him through" he said.

"How did you protect him?" Spencer asked him. "What was your definition of protecting him?" he asked as he studied his face, looking for the reaction that he would get.

"I was tld that he would be sent off to someone who was capable of handling him through his punishment" Thomas explained. "And I would have zero contact with him. I wouldn't be able to see him again for another two years or more. And I didn't want that. I couldn't lose him twice" he said.

"So I did what I had to do. I added to the construction of my new warehouse. I shelled out the money to install the slave quarters, have the tracker system installed, and went through the course work to get a masters licence" Thomas said. "It was a hell of a rush job, but I made sure that when the time came to take him in, he'd come to me."

"I made sure I had every rule followed, every guideline registered. I had every T crossed, every I dotted, everything down to the fine print followed" Thomas explained. "I kept everything within the family, made his overseers a man with experience, made his handlers his brother and his cousin. I did everything I could to ensure that while Matt was enslaved for two years, he'd be looked after. That he wouldn't have to suffer any worse then he could be" he said to him.

Spencer didn't want to kick him when he was down, especially since he knew that despite Thomas' best efforts, Matt hadn't been protected at all. He had been far from protected.

"It was still so hard, watching those two smug bastards manhandle my son and treat him like he was something less of a person" Thomas said. "The amount of times I just wanted to go to my son and hold him and tell him I was sorry and I wanted to take it all back, I fought against my feelings and told myself that I was doing the right thing and I'd leave him to suffer alone."

"Seeing him in that wheelchair, after he was brought in for the first time, I'm not sure who broke worse that day, me or my son" Thomas said as he had to wipe his eyes again. "He didn't even look like my son. He looked like some kind of perverted pornographic picture from some psycho artist in a mental hospital. I had to pretend it didn't effect me, and yet I was holding myself back from holding him" he said.

Spencer actually had the urge to reach over and put his hand on Thomas' and squeeze it. He wanted to give him some reassurance, because Spencer could see that Thomas was genuinely hurt over this, and he had probably been hurting ever since that first day with the bureau. But he didn't. Part of him didn't want to give him any kind of comfort after everything that had happened.

"I know he was suffering. I know he was unhappy, and I know it was all my fault because I brought this all on him" Thomas said as he rubbed his face a little. "I did everything I could, by the book, so that no-one could accuse me of favouritism amongst slaves and that he was taken care of in every way that the bureau couldn't complain about."

"You must have known people weren't going to see it that way" Spencer said to Thomas.

"I should have known that even if I planned everything right down to the smallest detail, of course everything would have gone to hell. I thought if he was kept in the family and helped by family.... and look at everything that happened because I tried to protect him" Thomas said with a shake of his head.

"You mean what happened with those incidents with Luke and Timothy?" Spencer asked him as he placed his hands on the table, linking his fingers together. Thomas nodded at him.

"What happened with Luke was simple. No-one cared about him. Certainly not his mother, who chose to abandon him because she couldn't handle it living with him and his father. And certainly not his father, who couldn't even help himself. And certainly not me, cause all I did was throw him in the same boat as his father cause it was easier to punish them both rather then separately."

"It was my fault that he struck out as he did, because I chose to believe Timothy over Luke. Timothy framed him, and very stupidly. And I fell for it" Thomas said with a shake of his head. "I .... I betrayed him and I let him go and lash out in the only way that he felt that he could."

"You could call him and let him come back" Spencer suggested to him. "You know, now that you know what happened, considering Timothy practically admitted it gospel style" he said, but Thomas shook his head.

"I did call. A few weeks ago. I went out to Isaiah's compound and had a talk with him" Thomas said as he looked at Spencer. "Luke doesn't hate me any-more, not that I feel any better about it, but he's happy where he is. Funny, the one person I didn't expect to be happy about being a slave ended up being perfect for it" he said. "He actually entered some of his vegetables in a local farmers competition. He made third place" he said.

"Well, I can understand that, especially if Isaiah and his sons could give him everything that he missed and didn't have" Spencer said. "Although, I'm guessing that since you mentioned Timothy, either it has to do with everything he did before, unless he's done something new since I last saw the little shit?" he asked.

The moment those words left Spencer's lips, Thomas' hands clenched around the beer bottle he was holding and held on so tightly that his knuckles actually turned white against his skin. His hand actually began to shake and the bottle rattled slightly against the base of the table that Spencer was sure it was about to shatter.

"Ok, I'm going to need to take that now" Spencer said as he reached forward and, rather forcefully, moved Thomas' fingers from the bottle and took it from his hands before the glass managed to shatter. "Last thing I need you to do is cut your hand wide open" he said as he pulled the bottle safely from Thomas' hands.

Thomas didn't say anything as he glared down at the table-top with a look that suggested he was either going to be sick, or he was about to go postal. Maybe even do both. Something was going on inside his mind, and whatever it was, it wasn't pretty.

"Thomas? Thomas?" Spencer asked as he looked at him, suddenly a little wary of all the knives and forks that were on the table. Honestly, why did the lay out the silverware before giving you the food to stab it with?

The waitress suddenly appeared again, carrying their plates of food. She set them down and noticed the furious look on Thomas' face and decided to back away without asking if they wanted a refill. Thomas didn't even notice for a moment or two before he seemed to come to his senses.

"Want to take a minute to eat your food? Chicken is best when its still crispy and hot" Spencer said as he removed the paper wrapping from his burger. Thomas shook his head as he seemed to realise he had food in front of him.

"Did you know...that after all these years of giving him every inch of my attention, the good home, the school, the car, the freedom...after everything that I did for him, that Timothy has absolutely zero respect towards me and probably never has?" Thomas asked as he looked up at Spencer, and there was once again tears in his eyes. Although he didn't seem to care.

Spencer was a little taken aback, not by what Thomas was saying, but the fact that he was starting to openly cry about it. And the simple observation that Thomas was just breaking down in front of him.

"What happened?" Spencer asked rather carefully as he slowly put his burger down.

"To be honest, I should have seen it coming, with the way I treated him so favourably" Thomas said as he used a napkin to wipe his eyes. "I gave him complete freedom when Matt was enslaved, and I turned a blind eye to everything he did because I tricked myself into believing he was having a hard time coping with the loss of his brother. God, what a fucking idiot I was" he said. "All it did was ensure that he would be a spoilt, ignorant, rotten little bastard of a child. Or he just turned into a bigger one" he said.

"I take it, you never expected that from him?" Spencer asked as he picked up his burger again and took a bite. He didn't want to interrupt Thomas or make it seem like he was rude by eating, but he was starting to get hungry again and he wasn't going to let his food go to waste.

"Did you know that sleeping pills don't make you feel better?" Thomas asked. "I've been taking them for months now. I've been taking them every night because I can't get the images of my son or the sounds of his crying or even the sounds of his screamed out of my dreams any-more" he explained. "But I take those pills and I fall asleep and I don't dream of anything. But the minute I wake up, it all comes back. It just...stalls me feeling anything" he said.

"But Timothy? He doesn't feel anything" Thomas said. "He goes to school, wastes his lessons, fucks everything and everyone he can, wastes my money, he hasn't changed in the slightest. Honestly, I thought that at least some part of him was unhappy with Matts condition. Guess that proves how stupid I really was" Thomas said as he picked up a fork and pushed it around on his plate.

"What did he do to you that made you want to go through all this?" Spencer asked as he took another bite. For an iHop burger, it was pretty good.

"A few days ago, I was working late in my office. I couldn't focus, I couldn't concentrate and I just couldn't get the work done" Thomas explained as he continued to push his food around on his plate. "So I decided to pop some pills with a bit of scotch and just postpone the inevitable until the next morning."

"When I got to my bed, I realised I had forgotten to make a phone call to a client of mine. So I picked up my handset from beside the table. All the landlines in the house are connected, and I had Timothy s cell in the safe in my office" Thomas said as he looked up at Spencer. "Found myself listening to Timothy on one of the other handsets in the house. I was going to hang up but..."

"You heard something you weren't supposed to, didn't you?" Spencer asked as he swallowed a full mouthful of meat and cheese.

"I heard my son conversing with one of his friends, and admitting just how easily he has me wrapped around his little finger" Thomas said as he looked up at Spencer. "He openly admitted to his friend that he was always going to be daddies prince, daddies little boy and nothing he did was ever going to change that fact. He bragged about how he got his brother further enslaved and ruined Matts life, and he was happy about it. He was proud he got Spencer fired, and he thought that I was already forgetting that he had been in trouble with the police."

"He also admitted to his friend that if the cops hadn't found out about him, I never would have found out about him and that he could lie to my face about everything until he got to college and he wouldn't have to deal with his miserable father any-more" Thomas said to him with a shake of his head. "I thought it couldn't get worse, until he went on to discuss with his friends what will happen when he does get to college."

"I guess impregnating a barely legal cheerleader is not on his agenda" Spencer said as put the burger down and looked at Thomas. Thomas didn't even smile at the terrible joke as he shook his head again, pushing food around on his plate with his fork.

"There is a clause in the bureaus policies that enable a slave to accompany his handler if there are facilities to accommodate them. The type of facilities can vary, like anything in a policy. But, if the facilities are good, then you could even send a slave to accompany his handler to college" Thomas said to him. "According to Timothy, the fraternity he plans to enter can accommodate slaves for their members. And by accommodate, I mean kennels."

"Are you serious?" Spencer asked with a raised eyebrow. "You really think Timothy will convince you to let him take Matt to college with him? You have no idea what they'll do to him there" he said.

"Timothy's words were 'the fraternity whore'" Thomas said to him, with a defeated look on his face. "And I shudder to think of what they'll do to him without me to put a stop to it. Those are the kinds of people I can't protect Matt from. But according to Timothy, I'll do it. I'll let him take Matt because I'll do anything to make Timothy happen, as I can't afford to lose another son."

"But, you never planned to do it didn't you? You wanted him punished for a while, not forever" Spencer said to him. "Honestly, I can't see you doing that if your hurting this much over all this" Spencer said.

"Timothy seems to believe that I'll enslave Matt for the rest of my life because that's what he wants, and I'll probably give it to him because I'm afraid of loosing him" Thomas said with a sigh. "And I can't trust myself any-more to believe I can't do that to him" he said.

"So this is why you're giving up "Spencer said to him as he slid his plate to the side. "You just can't handle any of this any-more" he said to him.

"Spencer, I'm just so tired of fighting" Thomas said to him. "I'm tired of convincing myself that this is the right thing to do, and I am tired of trying to convince everyone that this is the right thing I'm doing. I'm tired of watching Matt suffer, and I'm tired of seeing him so miserable and I'm unable to help him. And I'm tired of being treated like Timothy's wallet" he said to him as he finally took a bite from one of the waffles on his plate. He chewed it very slowly with a thoroughly miserable look on his face.

Spencer was starting to get the picture of everything that was going on with Thomas, and he found himself finally able to understand the man. Thomas was doing what any concerned parent was doing. What he believed was right.

The 'traditional' methods of parenting were getting restricted more and more every day, and parents were unable to be actual parents any-more. With the law unable to really lay down itself and give out a suitable punishment to anyone, Thomas turned to the one place that could actually give out a punishment.

And he had done everything he could to ensure that Matt was protected, forking out the money to outfit his warehouse so that everything was up to code, to keep Matt in a place where he could be safe. He had hoped his family would pull together and actually ensure that Matt was protected and safe as well.

But everything had fallen apart. Aaron had been unable to help himself and constantly barraged Thomas to give him a bail out without ever having to lift a finger to help himself. Luke had let his anger get the best of him and he had taken it out on the one person that had done nothing wrong to him. Timothy had wrapped Thomas around his little finger and had no concerns for anyone but himself.

Spencer wondered how Thomas had actually managed to keep his wits about him. The man had done what he believed was right, only to fall into the same trap that his parents had been in. How many people hadn't seen his side of the story and called for his blood? How many people had accused him of being a monster without taking his side? He had been hurting this whole time, and no-one had bothered to ask him if he was ok.

"To be a punishment, it has to hurt you more then it hurts the one you love" Spencer said softly to himself as he looked over at the defeated and lonely man in front of him. He cursed himself for not seeing this any earlier, or doing anything to help him. And now, Thomas had been reduced to this. Just a shell of a man with nothing left.

"Thomas, I'd hate to ask this of you, but are you doing this just to make yourself feel better?" Spencer asked him slowly.

There was silence between them both after Spencer opened his mouth. Spencer did not regret asking him that question, as he had met so many people in his life who had done the wrong thing to other people, and then made amends to only to make themselves feel better for screwing over their loved ones in the first place. To them, it was never about making up for the damage that they had done, it was about fixing it so that they didn't feel like the bad guy any more.

"I don't care about forgiveness any-more" Thomas said to him as he dropped his fork on the plate and sat back. "In retrospect, I don't want to be forgiveness. I can't be forgiven for any of this, and I know that Matt will more then likely never forgive me at all" he said. "And I can live with that. I can live with him hating me for the rest of my life. I'm not going to try and insult him by asking for it" he said.

"So, you're just willing to do all this and walk away?" Spencer asked him. "Thomas, I have to ask. You're going to have nothing left after tomorrow" Spencer said as he leant forward. "You won't have anything left any-more, you'll just be alone. Do you really want that?" he asked him as he looked at his face, trying to find anything in his reaction. "Do you really want to be left alone after all this?" he asked.

Thomas said nothing to him as he sat back, his eyes moist with tears and his cheeks glistening with dried streaks. He seemed so much more defeated and tired and ...sad then he had when Spencer had walked into the diner. It was like the man had just let everything out and he had nothing left but a shell that no-one wanted around any-more.

"Who's going to argue over that?" Thomas asked him. "Spencer, there are worse people out there then me. There are college boys who will take their best friends and turn them into sluts for money because they are greedy. There are people out there who will use hypnotherapy to turn people into sluts for cock with no desire or ambitions any-more. There are men who kidnap cubs and turn them into mindless cock-sleeves for any guy willing to fuck them."

"There are people out there who will live in the backwater bush, who capture people and ppump them so full of drugs that they are nothing more then a drooling perpetually horny slut. There are doctors out there who get cheap prettied up nurses to manipulate people into surgeries for the doctor to relieve his pent up urges with. There are fathers out there who take their sons, force them into full body latex suits and turn them into pet puppies for their daughters. There are worse, much sicker people out there then me. And yet, I'm the bad guy that everyone wants to hate" Thomas said as tears started to flow down his cheeks again.

"I'm the worst one out there Spencer. Those kind of people, they get worshipped and lusted over and applauded. They get treated like gods for the monstrous things they do" Thomas said as he looked at Spencer. "And I'm the one who gets emails from people, telling me I deserve to be alone. I don't deserve a family. I don't deserve a son. They tell me I deserve to be raped and castrated and killed and more, but they will turn around to the monsters and literally kiss their feet" he said.

"Spencer, did you honestly think there is anyone out there, who will argue that I don't deserve to be alone when all this is said and done?" he asked as he pushed his plate forward. "That's because there isn't. And even if they knew everything from my side of the story, tell me this. Do you think they'll change their minds about me?"

But that was something Spencer couldn't answer him as he sat there, unable to form words. He didn't know where he stood on Thomas' side of things. Yes, he understood everything and he could see Thomas' side on things and hell, he could even start to pity the man and everlything he had gone through.

But, part of him just couldn't see past everything he had done and everything he had let happen. And that was perhaps the worst part. That he probably could never look at Thomas without thinking "how could you do that to your son?"

Thomas said nothing after several minutes as he pushed his hand into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He pulled out a card and set it on the table, then pushed it towards Spencer. He picked up a napkin and dried his eyes a few times as he managed to make himself look decent enough that he could leave without attracting attention.

"The bills on me. And if you need anything else, go out and buy it" Thomas said as he slowly stood up. "Anything you might need for after tomorrow. Just put it all on that card and return it to me at the office. I'm not going to question it" he said as he stepped out from the booth.

"Thomas, for what its worth...I'm sorry" Spencer said as he looked up at Thomas, who stopped and turned to look at him. "I'm...sorry for everything. I can't stop you from what's going to happen, but ....I wish you hadn't suffered like you are" he said.

Thomas said nothing as he looked down at Spencer, before he shook his head a little.

"I know you don't mean that. But thank you for saying it" he said as he pulled the hood of his jumper over his hand and put his hands in his pocket and started to walk away. Spencer leant over the side of his seat and watched as Thomas left the diner without looking back, able to hear the bell of the door tinkling as he left.

Spencer sighed and sat back as he picked up the credit card Thomas had left him, then slid it into his pocket. He shook his head again as he looked at the briefcase, then picked up his burger and started to resume eating. He figured that once he finished his meal, he'd go home and sort everything out for tomorrow.

Because tomorrow was when everything would be turned upside down. And there was no going back from it.