Complex Nightmare
Brain bleed, rargh, is it 4:12 AM already?
Deer Lord help, this fox won't go away,
She keeps insisting I prattle on paper, even though there's none
And just this screen burning into my poor manfolk eyes instead.
Wake up fretting,
Don't know where to go
Nothing but walls on every side.
I do this, 'scorn and scandal',
Do that, police inquire,
Do one more thing I'm going to drive myself to crime.
Imprisoned, I could not find a future.
I turned to breaking the rules at last.
"Interbreed with another species,
And be sublimated."
Yeah. Here was my America; my pilgrimage.
Escape an impossible reality,
Enter an impossible fantasy.
Complex nightmare; how does one
Breathe and live free,
When both things seem like impossibility?
I was bruised from a very young age, and never healed.
Now I pray a fox's brain to take the scars away.
Doping up on dopamine from orgasm, still shut up in my cell.
First day of breaking free, first chance never seized,
I grasp for it day by day, un-waking;
Vixen body is so daunting, hands are shaking:
"Nine tails sprouting every morning,
Fawn and face her every evening,
Can't decide whether she's my body or my lover;
Caught up on an endless midnight's daydreaming."
Maybe despicable, or pitiable;
Maybe my story just hasn't started and I'm not so pliable;
I keep waiting, never acting--like a paraplegic.
I'm not crippled, at least not outside.
Inside's another matter, I'm afraid.
Is the fox part of the answer, or the bleeding
I must staunch?
I laid, thinking of the answer,
And realized I'd had no help to this point;
No friend to share the nightmare's weight.
I want the fox to be my strength
I want to face reality;
Identity crisis, time's left me biased--
I'll pay for a guide, I want out of this place...
"A shilling for your aid, guvnor?"