My night Before X-Mas
Something I came up with years ago. Not a big deal and not very well written. Thought it might get a chuckle or two.
Today of course is Christmas. But sadly, I am pagan. *wink.*
'Twas the night before Christmas, and there was no food in
my house. My cigarettes were gone and ill blame that on my spouse.
So I picked up my keys and dashed out the door.
Hungry, Desperate I had to have more.
I started my truck and put it in gear.
putting pedal to metal for there was a Wal-Mart near.
With my windshield frosted over i made it there.
"oh no, They're closed!" I said with despair.
Cursing a carpenter and driving like mad.
I knew there was someplace with smokes and food to be had.
Stopping at Mc Donald's and Whataburger alike.
I pulled up to their windows crying, for there was no light.
Putting the hammer down once more i cursed and spat.
" Fuck you Santa, where the hell are my food smokes at!"
Driving once more, cold and pissed.
I thought about going home and slitting my wrists.
From suddenly around the corner I saw a wonderful sight.
'Twas a Seven Eleven, with its sign burning bright.
I yelled and hollered at the top of my lungs,
So happy with joy I could no longer hold my tongue.
I walked in smiling and throwing the doors wide.
" Merry Christmas!" I said, for I was actually so happy,I cried.
I got my food and smokes, stuffing my arms with all I dared.
I looked up and I could tell the cashier was scared.
I grind and smiled spreading my crazy good cheer.
Because if I didn't I would have went and told him how much I hate this time of year.
Arms full of food and cigarettes, I payed the man.
As I walked out i couldn't help but wonder if they had this crappy holiday in Japan...
I got home, booty in paws.
I sat down and wrought a " Fuck You!" letter to Santa Claws.
-Remo Blockade- 12-25-2009