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Chapter 33

Kel sat outside alone, on the rooftop of Roan's modest home, on a wooden bench, with a glass of violet wine on the small table beside him. Roan's potted plants and flowers were everywhere. Wolves revered nature, and gentle Roan had always taken his love and devotion to nature very seriously. His injuries in the earliest years of his life with Theo had given him the time needed to begin a garden. Down below, the backyard was bursting with flowers, bushes, and trees, a cacophony of clashing color. Kel knew Roan and Theo would often walk that garden together, that they would often sit on the rooftop -- two lovers staring at the stars - and hated to intrude on their home. But once Nontikmah had healed Zaldon, once Zaldon had woken up . . . Kel had no intention of staying around. He kept seeing Aliona falling again and again, and each time he saw it, his heart burned with fury. Things would not have come to that if Zaldon had simply confided in them! He was angry at Zaldon for everything - for shoving Aliona, for lying about his illness, for putting everyone through the hell of believing he was dying! - and had half a mind to just take himself back to the summer village. He was a fool for coming here.

Looking grim and angry, Kel slouched back on the bench, took a sip of wine, and stared out at the village. Sloping on a hill as it did, the sun village spread away beneath him, the square rooftops of clay huts endless against the starry sky. Kel dismally sipped his wine and stared out at the village. Zaldon was alive . . . at the cost of Nontikmah's life.

Kel knew the vixen was going to die. On the way over to Zaldon's home, she told him as much. She told him that saving Zaldon's life would end hers, but that she was glad to do one last good deed on this earth. She was tired. She was sad. She had loved two brothers, she told Kel, and she watched those brothers war for centuries over the fox kingdom - over her - until one finally slew the other and was banished forever. As Kel listened to her, it became apparent that there was no curse killing her. She was dying due to her own guilt. She killed her son believing that he would one day kill Sylas . . . the same way her lovers fought each other for her.

Nontikmah killed Melomiel because of her own mad paranoia. When at first he had been angry, Kel could only pity her now. And he could only hope she was now at peace.

"Kel?"

Kel blinked when he heard Keeno's voice. His son-in-law scrambled up the ladder and barreled onto the rooftop. He halted, staring breathlessly, incredulously at Kel.

"There you are!" Keeno sputtered. "Everyone's been looking for you!"

Kel stared dully at his wine and felt a wince of guilt. Once Zaldon awoke, he made a point of disappearing for days. Sometimes they looked for him at Roan and Theo's, but he always made sure they never caught him there. One time . . . he spent the night sleeping in the marketplace, half-drunk, under a fallen awning.

"Sir!" Keeno cried.

Kel glanced up: the younger male was furious and confused.

"Why!" Keeno shouted, holding his arms open. "Why did you let Nontikmah - do you know what this is going to do to Kilyan? What it's done?"

Kel blinked and looked away. "Sit down, Keeno."

Keeno hesitated, and Kel could tell that he didn't want to obey. He turned in a circle and tossed his paws again, then huffed and sat on the wooden bench beside Kel. Together, they looked out at the village, so still and silent in the night. Kel slowly and quietly began to explain why he had allowed Nontikmah to sacrifice herself, and Keeno listened, grim and silent.

"And we won't tell Kilyan about it," Kel finished. Because it would devastate Kilyan to know that a child of his had died because of the fragile mind of Nontikmah. Kilyan could never know that Melomiel died for nothing.

Keeno nodded dismally. "I won't say anything. Kil has got enough on his plate right now."

"Thank you, my son."

They fell silent and sat side by side, their elbows on their knees as they stared out at the village.

"So why was Zaldon _really_sick?" Keeno said after a while and cocked a skeptical brow at Kel. "Wolves don't die from using magic. That's b.s. Sure, their lives are shorter," he said when Kel glanced at him, "but Zaldon isn't even old enough for magic to have that effect on him yet. I know for a fact his grandfather lived to a ripe old age - that Nilwin guy who Lynny got his house from."

Keeno watched as Kel took a drink and knew he was drinking something he'd taken from Roan and Theo's pantry.

"Zaldon's grandfather wasn't very powerful, Keeno," Kel said quietly. "Nilwin mostly used shaman magic - little magic. Sorcery, he used for emergencies. The more powerful a sorcerer, the more magic eventually takes its toll on him. Zaldon trained under Nilwin, and so he wasn't very powerful either. Back when I was sick . . ." Kel swallowed hard. "Zaldon didn't have the power to heal me of the sickness. So . . . he took it into himself."

Keeno lifted his brows and his mouth opened in mild surprise.

"And that is why I believe he was sick now," Kel went on. "It came back on him. He hasn't figured it out yet, but . . . I've had plenty of time to think about it."

Keeno looked at Kel curiously and his ear twitched. "And . . . you haven't gone to see Zaldon . . . because you feel guilty?" He looked away nervously when Kel's brow deepened into a glower. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut. It was delicate territory, but he was concerned. He had witnessed Kilyan agonizing over Kel and Zaldon's melodrama too many times to simply sit back and let Kel stir up crap again. But it seemed as if Kel was determined to be dramatic.

"You sound like Kilyan," Kel said at last. Keeno was relieved when his father-in-law laughed weakly. "You're so determined to see Zaldon and I together. But perhaps we shouldn't be together, pup. Did you ever stop to think how much our arguing upsets Kilyan? How it upsets your wife? I know how much I frightened Zalia when I was sick . . ."

Watching Kel with concern, Keeno's ears flattened. "Sir . . . it wasn't that you were together that made everyone suffer. It was the fact that you were apart."

Kel looked at Keeno fondly, but Keeno could tell he had not changed his mind. Stubborn old wolf.

"Didn't I tell you," Kel said, looking at his wine again, "not to call me sir anymore?"

Keeno looked away and smiled. After he married Zalia, Kel had taken him aside and told him he was never to call him sir again. He was to call Kel Dad, for he belonged to Kel now. "You are one of mine," Kel had said and hugged Keeno tight. But Keeno couldn't help it. Calling Kel sir was old habit. And . . . he kind of enjoyed it. It reminded him of those days when he had trained under Kel as a boy, in awe of him, frightened of him, and yet determined to make him proud all at once.

"You won't even consider . . ." Keeno looked at Kel and hesitated. "Zaldon wants to see you. I know all the times Zalia and I argued, we'd always see each other eventually. We promised to always try to make up. I might crash at Kilyan's place for a night, but I always came home. Even when she kicked me out."

Kel smiled, and Keeno knew he was amused to be receiving advice from someone so much younger than he.

"I think . . . you're missing something, Keeno," Kel said quietly. He took yet another sip, tipping the glass back far this time.

Keeno lifted his brows. "What's that?"

Kel licked his lips and sighed. "I am not the Keeno of this relationship. Zaldon is." He glanced at Keeno, smiling sadly. "Zaldon is the one who will 'come home,' as you put it. I am the one who will push and push him away . . . the way Zalia and Enya have pushed you."

Keeno laughed lightly and looked away. That was true. Zalia and Enya would always get so stubbornly _angry_at him. But he never gave up on them. When Zalia put him out, he always came home. Back when they were arguing about Enya and she told him not to come back . . . they both knew he would come back if he had to break in.

"I don't have to go to Zaldon," Kel went on, frowning slightly. He looked from his glass to the tops of the village houses again. "Zaldon will come to me. I've been . . . avoiding it."

Keeno stared at Kel, trying to hide his amazement. But he didn't know why he was so confused. Where else could Zalia and Enya have gotten their stubborn nature? Their tempers? Their tendency for melodrama? Still . . . Keeno was confused and amazed. Confused as to why Kel would not want to patch things up with Zaldon, someone he loved so dearly. Amazed that someone like Kel - strong, fierce, and furious Kel - could be afraid of something that seemed so harmless. What would happen if Kel simply went to Zaldon and made up with him? Most likely sex. And yet . . . Kel sat here getting drunk.

"And I will continue avoiding it," Kel went on, staring dully at his glass now. "And you will butt out and mind your business, pup."

Keeno laughed. "Alright."

"Thank you."

They fell silent. Kel stared at his glass, seeing not the wine but his own thoughts. Keeno furtively studied Kel, noting that an entire bottle of the wine was on the floor near his foot. He would have to confiscate it when Kel wasn't looking.

"Zaldon told us some story about Nontikmah saving Lynny's life when he was little," Keeno said into the silence.

Kel didn't look the least bit surprised. Keeno had been surprised, though. Foxes were a myth. A bedtime story! But he kept telling himself that he'd thought the Secret Valley was a bedtime story too. Thinking of the nymphs sucking him off so wetly and slowly, he smiled. How delightfully wrong he'd been.

". . . Zaldon knows everyone," Kel said eventually and shrugged. "His mother was famous because she traveled far and wide, selling these . . ." Kel held up two fingers, as if he was pinching the air, ". . . little ivory carvings. Only winter wolves can carve ivory like no other, but Joli . . . she was a genius. The things were perfect."

Keeno nodded. He remembered seeing some of Joli's carvings in Lynny's house. Kel and Aliona also owned some, as a gift from Zaldon. Each and every piece had been exquisite. Keeno remembered staring at them the first time he saw them, amazed. The little seals looked like little seals. The little dogs looked like they would come to life, would bark and pant, perhaps even bite. Joli was also very fond of carving birds: birds in flight, birds nesting, birds cuddling. One such bird was in Enya and Yuri's house, a housewarming present.

"When Zaldon was a little pup," Kel went on, "his mother would travel to sell her work. She'd take Zaldon and Lynny. But mostly Zaldon. When Zaldon and Lynny were little pups . . . Joli left their father and moved to the summer village . . . You remember Bayne."

Keeno nodded again. "How could I forget him?"

Kel laughed and took a drink. "Bayne didn't want Joli to go . . . that's why he was all . . . crippled."

Keeno nodded yet again. He knew all this. Kel was simply lonely and ranting. He probably missed Aliona and Zaldon. Keeno glanced at him irritably. What was so hard about making up? Making up was the best part of arguing! There was a time when he thought if he could figure out why Kel was so stubborn, he could figure out Zalia and Enya. But looking at Kel now, he knew he'd never understand any of them.

"And that's why Zaldon knows everyone, pup. Sometimes I think he knows everything too. . . ." Kel smiled sadly. "He used to make Kilyan so happy . . . with his stories. . . ."

"He still makes him happy. He still makes you happy too," Keeno dared.

Kel's face darkened. "Do not pretend to understand what is going on, boy. Do not pretend . . ."

"Yes, sir . . ." Keeno bit his lip as Kel nodded righteously and took a drink. But he couldn't help it. He blurted, "No!"

Kel halted and looked at him, blinking.

"I do understand, sir! You think what you are going through is any different from what the rest of us go through? Why? Because you're a tail chaser?" Keeno shook his head. "Love is love! I understand perfectly what is going on: you and Zaldon argued, and now you are too stubborn to forgive him and just be happy. You are content to be unhappy. It's the one thing Kilyan didn't inherit from you."

There was a tense pause as Kel just stared at Keeno. Inside, Keeno was shaking, but outside, he was adamant. He looked Kel defiantly in the eye. He was surprised when Kel suddenly busted up laughing.

Keeno scratched his ears uncertainly. The one time he's serious and Kel laughs at him . . .

"You really don't give up, do you?" Kel said, sighing with laughter. He shook his head and lifted the bottle. Keeno watched as he poured more wine in the glass - then shrugged and drank straight from the bottle. "You're a brave, brave boy marrying a daughter of mine. One has got to be firm and unwavering with Zalia . . . you're a brave boy." He chuckled.

"Yeah," Keeno agreed, marveling that Zalia had not scratched his eyes out after sixteen years of marriage.

"And that grandchild of mine," Kel said, suddenly grinning. "Why the two of them combined haven't yet made you tear your fur out . . . I can see now. I see your strength and determination. But it won't work on me, pup." He set down the wine bottle and slouched on the bench again. "I am the source of their stubborn genes. You can't beat the source."

Keeno laughed lightly, thinking that Gurwin had been the source. But now Gurwin was dead . . .

"So you finally noticed," Kel said into the silence. He sounded very amused.

Yup. Keeno had finally noticed that Enya had a bun in her oven. A big bun. He felt such a fool for not noticing before. He kept telling himself she was just getting a tummy. Now he knew in what way . . .

"She has me raped when I marry her to Theo," Keeno said with a flat laugh, "and then has his kid anyway!"

"How do you feel about that?" Kel swirled the wine in his glass, not looking at Keeno. Keeno thought he looked a little . . . tipsy. He saw Kel's eyes glaze, then the black wolf looked out over the village, sad and yet somehow . . . complacent.

"The kid? Pft, I'm excited! I can't wait to throw it in the air and tickle it . . ." Keeno smiled dreamily.

"I meant her having you raped, Keeno."

"Oh . . . that." Keeno pushed his mane back and shrugged dismally. "Those guys at the mountain village . . . they didn't hurt me. They didn't hurt anything but my pride." He glowered, but he looked at Kel with imploring brown eyes. "My relationship with Enya, it means more to me than anything. I would rather forgive and move on than never have her in my life! She tried to push me away, but I didn't give up. I'll never give up. Because I love her. I can't stand the thought of . . ."

Being like me and Gurwin, Kel silently finished for him. His green eyes dulled and he took a drink.

"And everything else I've done," Keeno went on, swallowing hard, "I feel the same way about Zalia, and she feels the same way about me. I mess up, I know I do . . . and sometimes Zalia messes up too . . ." He glanced at his father-in-law hopefully.

Kel was silent, staring off at the village.

Keeno went on, determined. "But we always forgive each other. Because it's better than being without each other. No matter what, I can't be without Zalia. And she can't be without me. If she ever stops feeling that way . . ." Keeno shook his head. "I don't know what I'll do. And I know you feel that way about Zaldon!" Keeno had been gesticulating, but he dropped his paws to his lap and waited.

Kel was again silent.

"I didn't love Roriana!" Keeno blurted, holding out his paws. They were returning to the jungle . . . where the shemale queen had been laid to rest. Before the fiasco with Enya, Roriana had always been Keeno's deepest regret. For years he thought he could bury the past, move on. Now he was going to have to face it. One way or another.

Kel's ears flicked forward. Who the hell was Roriana? But he didn't betray his confusion. He decided to let Keeno spill his guts so that he could find out.

Keeno pushed his mane back again and stared out at the village. "I cared about her. She became my friend while Kil and I . . ." He glanced uncertainly at Kel. "I don't know how much he told you about what happened to us, but Roriana was my friend. Just my friend! I was terrified Zalia would put me out if she found out about her, and then if I was without her . . ." He swallowed hard. "I know Roriana is something Zalia would never forgive me for. But I never would have left Zalia for her. Roriana knew that. That was why she died . . . because I broke her heart. Because I love your daughter, sir."

Kel looked away, not knowing what to say.

"I love her so much," Keeno went on miserably, "that sometimes . . . it hurts."

Kel looked at Keeno sympathetically and clapped a paw on his shoulder. "But love . . . it's a good kind of pain, my son," he said softly.

Keeno glanced at Kel, startled to see the affection in his green eyes. Kel had very often looked at Kilyan that way. Keeno took a breath and felt himself relax.

"I am not angry with you, Keeno," Kel went on. He didn't even know about any Roriana until that moment! He almost wanted to bust up laughing again. "I am not standing on the sidelines, shaking my head in bitter judgment at everything you do. I have not been a perfect husband either. All you can do is learn from your mistakes. You love my daughter and my grandchild. That is what matters to me. I could not have asked for a better mate for my daughter."

Keeno wagged his head proudly. He glanced at Kel sheepishly. "I love you too, sir - er, not in _that_way."

Kel laughed. "And I love you. Listen . . . don't tell anyone I was here . . ."

Keeno grinned. "I'll give you a day. Then I'm tellin'."

Kel nodded, amused. "Fair enough. You know Loryn always said you and Kilyan were the sons he never had?"

Keeno grinned. "Really?"

Kel got up from his seat with a groan, tucking the wine bottle under one arm. Keeno stood likewise, and Kel put his other arm around him.

"Really," Kel answered, leading him back to the ladder.

"So . . ." Keeno cleared his throat. "What other nice stuff you gonna say about me? Tell me how great a fighter I am - oh! Talk about my skill with a bow!"

Kel laughed.

The End