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Chapter 32

". . . you think . . . there's a heaven, Kil?" Keeno muttered.

Kilyan didn't answer. He was staring at the little pile of stones that marked Sion's grave. He and Keeno were in the graveyard behind the summer village, sitting in the grass and sharing a flask Keeno had "borrowed" from under his father's mattress. They passed it back and forth, growing more somber with each swallow, as they thought about their lives up until that very moment.

"A heaven, Kil," Keeno repeated, as if he wanted an answer. "Is there one . . ."

Kilyan sighed. "I don't give a fuck."

Keeno laughed hoarsely. "No," he said, glancing at Kilyan in amusement. "I guess you wouldn't."

"I care about the fact that my baby is gone," Kilyan went on. He scowled and suddenly snatched the flask from Keeno. Keeno had been in the act of drinking from it, but he watched Kilyan a moment, his paw still in the air.

"My baby is gone," Kilyan repeated, staring at Sion's grave. "And there was nothing I could do to stop it! I didn't even realize," he said, tossing his paw, "that he was going to up and leave! I knew he cared about Theo . . . but everything that happened with Avi and Wynn, I was too preoccupied . . . and Avi is gone too." Kilyan's face darkened and he shook his head. He frowned sadly. "I love her, Keeno."

Keeno patted his back. "I know, Kil. With all your dramatic little heart."

Kilyan frowned. "Shut up!"

Keeno laughed and took the flask back. He took a swig. "Kilyan, you never know. Avi might start jonesin' for you and come back. She's got wings. It wouldn't take long. And at least we can visit Enya and Roan with Zaldon's magic." Keeno took another swig and licked his lips. "Zaldon has been learning how to open portals . . . so he can move large numbers of wolves at once . . . Just self-teleporting with us clinging to his big arms isn't enough. In fact, it's dangerous. Said he might appear in the sun village to find us scattered around him in pieces . . ."

Kilyan made a face. "Ew." What a grim end to their entire clan that would be . . .

Keeno laughed. "Yeah. So Zaldon has been workin' hard to learn to cast portals we can walk through. It's really advanced magic, he says - harder than self-teleportation. Only foxes like your Nontiki witch can do it without blinking --"

"Nontikmah."

"Whatever."

Kilyan closed his eyes. "Did you have to bring up Nontikmah?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

Kilyan stared at the grass. It wasn't Keeno's fault that he didn't know everything. Kilyan hadn't told him everything yet. "Because Nontikmah was in love with me, Keeno. And I . . . left her alone." He frowned. "I think she was in trouble. I know she has magic and everything, but I hate the thought of her being alone in the middle of that forest with little Sylas . . ."

Keeno watched Kilyan steadily, his arm across his drawn up knee.

"I told you I slept with her . . ." Kilyan went on dismally. "I didn't tell you how many times . . . or the fact that she begged me to stay . . . then wanted to come with me . . . I was careless and stupid. I didn't have to sleep with her. But I did. Avi should hate me." Kilyan shook his head. "No wonder she left."

"You told me you pitied Nontikmah," Keeno said soothingly. "She was lonely, it was a pity fuck. Do you know how many females I've done that for? Shit, they were happy they got some action! Nontikmah needed a little --" He clicked his tongue twice. "-- good lovin' that she wasn't gettin'. Avi understands that."

Kilyan snorted. "Who should understand better than Avi that I can't keep my dick to myself?"

Keeno pointed the flask. "Ditto."

"I swear I learned it from you," Kilyan accused, almost playfully. He took the flask back and drank.

"Well," Keeno said, buffing his nails on his chest fur, "I am the master."

"Keeno?" Kilyan passed the flask back.

"Mm?" Keeno drank.

Kilyan rested his forearms on his knees. "You think Sion would be happy to see the males we've become?"

Keeno smiled and licked his lips as he lowered the flask. "He'd be happy, Kil. You know Sion's brother screwed him over. We're not even related, but we treat each other like family." He clapped Kilyan on the shoulder. "He'd be proud."

Kilyan smiled - but he frowned directly after. "I can't believe it took his death before someone cared enough to find out the truth. Why didn't his parents - or - or--" Kilyan angrily sputtered himself silent.

Keeno looked at him sympathetically. Kilyan hated the council and all their traditions, and given the things he had experienced in his life, Keeno knew he had every reason to. They had witnessed firsthand the way the council dealt with crime and punishment through the lone wolf tradition. Innocents were cast out without proof, and more than a few of them became criminals only after they were discarded. Then there had been the incident with Lea's kidnapping, Zaldon and Kel's decades of struggle, Roan having to leave the village to be with the one he loved . . . and Lallo. If Kilyan was bitter and frustrated, he had reasons.

"Sion's parents suspected Sicheii, they told Kel that," Keeno said darkly. "They just . . . didn't want to see two of their sons cast out. So they kept their mouths shut and told themselves Sicheii couldn't have possibly . . ." Keeno shook his head. "What's it like to find out your kid is an asshole? Enya did terrible things to me in revenge, I know she's a brat," Keeno said, laughing. "But she would never put my life at risk!"

Kilyan nodded, his sad green eyes fixed on Sion's grave. "I wish we could have given him peace."

Keeno rubbed Kilyan's back, thinking that for all his friend's anger and bitterness, at least Kilyan did not use his resentment as an excuse to treat others like crap. Kilyan was always trying to bring light where there was darkness - which was one reason why he chose to sleep with Nontikmah.

"I think we did give Sion peace," Keeno said soothingly. "For a second there. He seemed happy with us for company." He scooted closer and laughed when Kilyan suddenly dropped his head on his shoulder. "Ha. Kilyan, you're drunk."

"Not am," he replied quietly.

Keeno laughed and took a swig. He was starting to feel a little woozy himself.

"At least that motherfucker Sicheii," Keeno went on darkly, "got what he deserved. Dad and Kel were none too gentle with him. They busted in his house and beat him up --"

Kilyan frowned. "How do you know this?" He suddenly slumped over on his back and stared miserably at the sky. Keeno glanced at him, knowing that he was getting tipsy - and that he was probably thinking of Roan.

"My dad wouldn't tell me anything," Kilyan went on sullenly.

Keeno laughed flatly. "Kel is always trying his damndest to hide you from the world. As if you didn't already know about its shitty side. He wants you to think it's all peaches and pie. Hmm . . ." Keeno's eyes hooded. "Pie. I think I'll have Zalia sit on my face tonight. . . ." He burped softly.

Kilyan made a face. "Keeno! For fuck's sake . . ."

Keeno laughed. "Anyway . . ." he took a swig.

"But wait . . . how did they know to suspect Sion - I mean . . . Sicheii?"

"We gave them a clue. Don't you remember? Sion told us Sicheii switched talismans with him."

"Ah."

"One day when I was like - eighteen or something - this was right after I married Zalia and she was about to give birth . . . so I remember being in my house alone . . ."

"Yeah?"

"Dad comes over to see me and he's kinda tipsy. I could tell because he kept calling me Hye."

Kilyan laughed and accepted the flask. "That would be some indication . . ." He took a drink and cursed when it slopped down his face.

Keeno frowned and snatched the flask back. "Don't drink on your back, Kil! Geez!"

"Go on with . . ." Kilyan burped. "Story . . ."

"Right. So Dad comes over drunk to see me. I think he was depressed about Uncle Hris. And he starts going on about Sion and how sorry he is, and he assures me that Sion's brother got the shit beat out of him by him and Kel. They busted in his house and knocked him wall to wall . . . only to find out he's got ah four-year-old kid with the girl he raped!"

"Shit!"

"Yeah . . ." Keeno said sadly. "She wasn't home at the time, so they didn't meet her, but I can only imagine what it was like to marry the guy who raped you . . . and screwed over the one you loved. Sicheii begged for them not to tell. He didn't want to be away from his kid. That girl would be left to raise the kid alone."

"But he was cast out," Kilyan said darkly. "And serve him right!"

Keeno took another drink and swallowed with a sigh. "I heard the girl remarried. I hope she's . . . okay."

"Yeah, me too," Kilyan whispered. "Sometimes I wonder what life would've been like for Sion if he never met us. . . ."

Keeno snorted. "Don't even try that 'boo hoo it's my fault' shit, Kilyan. If it wasn't Kel's spear . . ." Keeno drank again. ". . . it would have been someone else's spear."

Lying on his back, Kilyan stared grimly at the sky. The lone wolf tradition suddenly made him sick to his stomach. There should have been some kind . . . trial. Something! Sion had been cast out too easily and too quickly. And without a chance to even defend himself.

"So . . . you think there's a heaven?"

"I told you I didn't give a fuck . . ."

"Pretend you do."

Kilyan sighed. "No."

"Wow, Kil. That's . . . grim."

"No . . . it's realistic. This life is all we have, Keeno. So we'd better live it to the damndest. . . ."

"You mean fullest . . ."

"I know what I mean - fucker! What are you doing!" Kilyan laughed.

Keeno had reached over and tickled him. They'd been prone to such tickling matches when they were small. The last one had been when they were fourteen and suddenly realized they were too old to be doing it. But looking at Kilyan lying there in the leaves, Keeno suddenly missed applying that mild torture. He poked a finger in Kilyan's armpit and grinned when he hissed with laughter against his will.

"Cut it - Ha! Cut it out!"

"Make me!" Keeno stuck his tongue in his teeth and poked again.

Kilyan giggled drunkenly. He tucked his arms and rolled away. Keeno crawled after him, still tickling. Kilyan started tickling him back.

"Gerroff - fucker!"

"Haahhahaaa!"

"No - Ha! I'mma _kill_you --"

"You've been saying that," Keeno panted, pinning Kilyan down, "since we were six!"

"This time I mean it!"

Kilyan tackled Keeno and they went rolling, their boyish laughter rising to the sky. Kilyan managed to straddle Keeno and was poking his armpits in triumph when someone cleared their throat. They looked up and froze. Standing over them was Lea and Zalia. Zalia had her arms folded and was shaking her head, but Lea had a paw over her mouth and was laughing.

Kilyan flattened his ears and climbed off Keeno. Both males got sheepishly to their feet.

"If the two of you are done rolling through the mud," Zalia scolded. Her eyes darted over Keeno's smudged fur and she briskly started brushing him off.

Lea did likewise to Kilyan and took his arm.

"Sorry, honey," Kilyan said, smiling apologetically.

Lea's ears pricked forward and she made a face at the stench of his breath. "You're drunk!"

"No . . ." Kilyan denied feebly.

Lea made a disapproving tisk. "At least I'll have plenty of fun bathing you."

Kilyan rubbed his nose against Lea's and she grudgingly smiled.

"Excuse me while I get sick," Zalia said, and Lea laughed when Kilyan stuck out his tongue. Zalia looked at Keeno happily. "There's a surprise waiting at your father's house!"

Keeno's ears pricked forward. "Enya? Enya's here!"

Everyone laughed.

"No," Zalia said, smiling, "but just as good. Come on." Zalia led Keeno away by the arm.

"And you are coming home with me!" Lea told Kilyan firmly.

Keeno laughed when Kilyan said obediently, "Yes, dear . . ."

"Look at you!" Lea went on as Keeno and Zalia made their way down the hill. "Filthy and drunk to boot! Is this the sort of example you want to set our s-son --" She suddenly began to sob.

"Oh, Lea . . ." Kilyan moaned. "We're going to see Roan soon, we will . . ."

Keeno and Zalia exchanged glances as they left the graveyard together. Lea hadn't been able to stop crying since Roan left the village. They knew it was because she missed Roan, but they also knew it was because she was pregnant. She was four months in, with a little tummy protruding under the swollen breasts that were wrapped in her shawl. Everyone knew she wanted a girl, but Keeno kept joking that she should pick out male names . . . just in case.

"So what's at my Dad's?" Keeno wondered, tucking the flask into the pouch on his hip.

"Yeah, you'd better put that away. If Yzlo founds out you stole from him again --"

"Borrowed," Keeno corrected and grinned.

They cut through the grazing fields together. It was the end of the day, and all around, females were guiding their herds through the gates. Keeno cursed to see sheep, goats, and barking dogs blocking the way. He took Zalia's paw and jerked his head.

"This is gonna take ah minute. There's a nice bush over . . ."

"No," laughed Zalia. "You aren't going to want to miss this surprise."

"If it's not Enya, I don't care," Keeno said flatly.

Zalia smiled, not looking at him. "You'll care."

With the herds finally out of the way, they entered the village. Dusk was darkening to night when they came to Yzlo's house. The small torches in the yard were lit and flickering softly in the breeze. Keeno dispassionately allowed Zalia to lead him by the arm into his father's house.

". . . probably out somewhere getting drunk as a skunk," Yzlo was saying loudly. "I know he stole my flask from under the mattress --"

"You mean _my_flask!" Hye cried.

Deep laughter. A male's laughter. Keeno brightened and his ears flicked forward. He knew that laughter!

They entered the warm glow of the firelight. Yzlo and Hye were sitting around the fire in chairs . . . and so was Hris.

Keeno froze, not noticing the way Zalia was grinning at him.

Hris looked up and smiled at Keeno. "Hey, hey!" he said, lifting his arm. "Is that my nephew? It can't be!"

Keeno barreled into the room like a child - and tackled Hris out of his chair. There was laughter and confusion as Keeno and his uncle went tumbling to the floor, legs and tails flying. He just lay on Hris for a moment with his ear pressed to his chest, listening to the sound of his laughter. He could hear Zalia and Hye laughing and Yzlo shouting happily, "Get off your uncle, boy, before you give him a heart attack!"

Still straddling Hris, Keeno pulled back to look down at his uncle. Keeno was breathless and grinning, and so was Hris. They smiled into each other's eyes. Hris was so old.

"You're so old," Keeno said and laughed when Hris ruffled his mane. It had been sixteen years. It suddenly occurred to Keeno that Hris would have been sixty. Keeno studied his uncle again. Hris didn't look bad for sixty. He had little lines around his mouth and eyes, but he seemed to move a lot slower than Keeno remembered. Archers were supposed to be fast. That was one of the first lessons Hris ever taught Keeno. He was a little sad to realize Hris was getting old. He smoothed his uncle's mane back from his face and studied him.

"How ya been, kid?" Hris said - as calmly and casually as if the two of them weren't on the floor together. His deep black eyes twinkled affection. Keeno was still stroking his mane back from his face, and Hris reached up and touched Keeno's mane too.

Keeno was ashamed of himself when his right eye filled with an unshed tear. He sniffed. "I missed you."

The tear trickled free and Hris wiped it away sadly. "I know, kid."

"Why didn't you come?" Keeno went on, as if no one else was there. He tried to keep the accusation out of his voice but failed miserably.

Hris looked at him sadly. "I wanted to. I thought about Keeno Junior everyday."

"So what's your excuse?" Keeno demanded.

"Keeno . . . I'm a father! You know how the river wolves are. They trust no one. Yaholo will never be able to leave his tribe -- the river wolves never leave their tribe! For anything! Once they decided I was one of them, I was expected never to leave either. Once I was going to leave anyway . . . and Fedesda told me that if I left, I wasn't coming back."

Keeno frowned. "So how'd you get away?"

Hris smiled at him. "Fedesda was frightened I would abandon her and Yaholo. She wanted him to have a father. She was afraid I would choose you over her and Cohoma. Now that Yaholo is grown . . . she is not afraid." Hris pinched Keeno's chin affectionately. "But you are. Your mother told me about Enya."

Keeno nodded glumly. He glanced around and remembered for the first time that he and Hris were not alone. Zalia was now sitting beside Hye around the fire, smiling at she watched her husband. Hye was watching her brother and son and beaming, her head on Yzlo's shoulder as he held her tight in his arm. Yzlo smiled faintly when Keeno looked at him and nodded his head at the front curtain.

"Come on, Uncle," Keeno said, backing off. "Let's go . . . outside."

Keeno helped Hris to his feet, and he realized for the first time that Hris was wearing a quiver of arrows with the usual red and green feathers and also a bow. He had crushed the bow and quiver under the poor male's back!

Keeno apologetically adjusted his uncle's quiver, but Hris' laughed and waved him off. They went outside together, into the cool night air, and stood under the stars. Hris leaned against the low wall and faced Keeno, who sat on the edge of his father's old chair.

Keeno leaned forward and clasped his paws. "So how's Yaholo? And why didn't he come?"

Hris snorted. "Were you listening to me, boy?" he said with a laugh. "Yaholo is river wolf through and through. He's been raised to believe that outsiders can not be trusted. You and Hye are just outsiders to him. And as I said, river wolves do not leave their tribe. It's like . . . getting a rash off your ass with a fork."

Keeno winced. "Gross!"

Hris laughed. "I knew that would get one of those faces from you!" he said, pointing at Keeno.

Keeno smiled, appraising his uncle once more. Hris had always been sort of short like Hye. Now he seemed even shorter. And what was more, he had a small pouch of belly fat. His long tan mane was even longer, kept back in a low tail and woven with the green and red dyed feathers he was so proud of. Keeno was surprised to notice a red tattoo had been dyed in the tan fur on his uncle's upper arm. He lifted his brows.

"The symbol of the river wolf," Hris said, following Keeno's gaze. "The dye is permanent: river wolves are river wolves for life. Young river wolves get a tattoo when they reach a certain age. Yaholo will get one next year, when he turns sixteen."

Keeno nodded, wondering if Yaholo looked anything like his father.

"Before he could get a tattoo, he had to come in contact with his spirit guide."

Keeno lifted his brows. "Spirit guide?"

"It's something all sorcerers have to do among the river tribe," Hris went on, shrugging. "It's believed that we follow the river in death. At least . . . the river wolves believe their tribe does. They believe they are tied to the river and that their spirit returns to it. An ancestor becomes the guide for each sorcerer of the tribe."

"So . . . Yaholo's got a guide thingy?"

Hris laughed. "Yeah. I know it sounds like a crock, but his guide thingy even has a name." He frowned, trying to remember. "Sinon . . . Silon . . ."

Keeno stiffened. "Sion?"

Hris pointed at him and grinned. "Yeah, that was it! It's funny . . . that's a winter wolf_name. Why would a spirit tied to the _river. . ."

Keeno stared off as if stricken, thinking that Sion's grave used to be beside the river. Of course, Hris didn't know about Sion. It was something Kel, Loryn, and Yzlo had kept from him. Kel was too ashamed.

"But we didn't come out here to talk about my son," went on Hris, waving it off. "We came out here to talk about your daughter."

Keeno sighed heavily. "So they told you everything?"

Hris nodded. "Everything. How you holdin' up?"

"Enya is happy. That's all that matters . . ."

"Bullshit," snorted Hris. "I know you. You're just like your damn mother. You want Enya here. You want _everyone_here. Your mother always wanted a big family and you do too. What the two of you fail to realize is that you've _got_family standing all around you!"

Keeno smiled slowly, thinking of Kilyan and his family and how all of them were going to Enya and Yuri's joint wedding with Roan and Theo one day soon. It was going to be a huge gathering. Almost none of them were related and yet . . . they were still family.

Keeno looked at Hris gratefully. He came over to him and they sat on the low wall together, side by side. He laughed when Hris ruffled his mane and hugged him in his arm.

"You'll come to the wedding, right?"

"Sure. It's about time I met this fiery daughter of yours."

Keeno grinned as his uncle squeezed him tight.

"I'm sure Fedesda can whip up a portal to the sun village."

"So that's how you got here!"

"Yup."

"You think she'd be willing to teach someone?"

Hris snorted. "Who? You?"

"Someone big, tall, and with a sensitive disposition."

"Ah . . . Hmm. Knowing Zaldon, he is probably already on good terms with the river tribe and has met them six times before. I wouldn't be surprised if Fedesda already knew him."

"Then we can get our favorite wizard some lessons."

Hris laughed. "Why?"

"The sooner Zaldon learns to cast a portal, the sooner I can see my baby!"

Hris chuckled. "You are a good boy, Keeno. You're a good father. Enya may not realize how lucky she is to have a father like you, but as soon as she has a child and it starts acting like her . . . She'll understand."

Keeno snorted. "Did you forget the part where Enya doesn't like cock, Uncle?"

Hris chuckled again. "Don't be foolish. Enya doesn't have to like cock to make a pup. Have you learned nothing from me and Fedesda? I fucked her three ways from summer --"

Keeno made a face. "Uncle!"

"-- and while I yawned through the whole damn thing, she sure got something out of it. Apparently, I was able to please her. Fancy that: I could have been straight!" he said, feigning disappointment.

Keeno laughed.

"And that was how Yaholo came to be!" Hris grinned. "Cohoma and Fedesda and I, we raised that boy together. He was lucky. He had three parents standing around him, loving him, teaching him. If Enya finds the right boy, her child can know the same fortune."

"I wish I could pick a male for her," Keeno said dully. "I don't trust her judgment when it comes to males . . ."

Hris studied Keeno curiously. "Is that why you chose . . . Hmm, what did Hye say his name was? Leo?"

"Theo."

"That's it. You thought Theo was good for her?"

"Theo's a great kid," Keeno said, smiling sadly. "I watched him go from a skinny stick-pup to a fine warrior, and I knew he was someone I could trust to care for my daughter. What's more, he wasn't some stranger. He would always be at Kilyan's for supper and was a good friend of Roan and Zane's . . ." Keeno snorted. "If only I knew _how_good."

Hris laughed heartily and clapped a soothing paw on Keeno's shoulder. "You made a mistake. A colossal mistake," he said and laughed when Keeno glanced at him irritably.

"She said she hated me . . ."

"Welcome to parenting!"

Keeno wearily pushed his mane back from his eyes. "Pft. Someone should write a manual on how to raise a teenage girl."

"I thank the gods everyday that Yaholo is a boy."

The uncle and nephew nodded dully in unison as they stared off across the yard.

"Still . . ." Hris grinned. "Enya lives in the sun village now, so that means she can learn to hunt! I'll be able to train her with a bow, and no one will stone me for it!"

Keeno grinned. "She'd be more than willing to learn. I've had time to think, and I'm starting to believe there were a lot of things Enya wanted to learn, but teaching her to fish or hunt . . . it would have been frowned upon. No male would have wanted to claim her . . ." Keeno frowned. How stupid.

"We can teach her to fish, too," Hris went on happily. "I can finally pass on my skills!"

"You taught me!" laughed Keeno.

"Yes, but you're grown now, boy. Nothing left to teach you. I miss teaching."

". . . . what about Yaholo?"

Hris snorted. "He's a river wolf. They're born knowing how to fish. And shooting? Sorcerers among the river wolves have no interest in learning to use weapons beyond magic. Fedesda wouldn't let me teach him to shoot. . . . Cohoma didn't want me to either."

Keeno's ear flicked to hear the bitter note in his uncle's voice, and he knew Hris had probably locked horns on more than one occasion with the magical brother and sister about their differing traditions and customs. Keeno always knew it was something that was going to happen: even after he joined the summer village, Hris remained steadfast in the belief that both males and females should learn to shoot a bow. Among the arrow tribe, females learned to shoot for the sake of self-defense, though they never went out to hunt.

Hris cleared his throat. "Anyway . . . Enya is only sixteen. She's got plenty of time to think about having pups, and plenty of time to be selfish, young, and free."

Keeno smiled sadly when his uncle clapped him on the back. "Promise you'll always visit from now on." He frowned. "Do you know what this did to Mom?"

Hris glanced at Keeno apologetically. "I know, Keeno Junior. I'll visit. Said I was coming to the wedding, didn't I? Fedesda will bitch at me for wanting to travel so far, but I'll come. It's worth it."

Keeno was unconvinced. There was only one thing that had ever convinced him when he was a child. He playfully offered his pinky. "Pinky swear?"

Hris hooked his pinky in Keeno's. "Pinky swear."

Keeno laughed when his uncle suddenly kissed him hard on the cheek. "Hey! Cut it out! I don't suck cock. Especially not incestuous cock!"

Hris chuckled. "You rascal! You wouldn't know what to do with this!"

They laughed as Hris wrapped his arm around Keeno. Keeno dropped his head on his uncle's shoulder. They gazed at the stars together. They joked, they whispered, they shoved and tickled each other. And for Keeno . . . it was like being a boy again. There were a few moments when he thought Hris looked younger, and he knew his uncle felt the same.

"I love you, Little Keeno. You know that?"

"I always know that."

"Good. You still love me too, right?"

"Hmm . . . I'll have to think about that."

"Ha! Say you love me or I'll pinch you raw!"

"Ow! Alright, alright! . . . I love you, Uncle Hris," Keeno laughed.

"Damn straight."

They laughed and fell silent. Keeno had missed sitting like this with Hris. He dropped his head on his uncle's shoulder again and looked forward to the day when Enya would join them.