Truth (Jin)

Story by Typh Wolfie on SoFurry

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#3 of In the life after (2)


Not many times one could get a second chance in life... Or at least in matters that are truly impactful to your life. I had a second chance and I'm truly grateful at that. There were no words to explain how thankful I was. I guess the best way to thank such coincidence would be to make the most out of that second chance. I would be crazy and bloody ungrateful if I were to not seize the new opportunity with Typh. I had the chance... he gave me the chance. I would fight hard to defend him.

The next few days when he was back to school, Jo and I were like Typh's bodyguards. The cast on his arm garnered much attention from anyone who saw him. I could feel the discomfort in the blue wolf, considering he's naturally a quiet person. Jo and I tried as much to divert the attention from him... until he started poking at us to stop. I was so curious at what was going through his mind.

Jo wasn't like before any more. He was quieter than he would ever be, making Typh more talkative than him in comparison. I wished that he would just fucking snap out of it, but it seemed impossible. He needed time to heal and get out of it. I could see that Typh was worried, but had yet to do anything to the grey wolf.

I'm very worried as to what might happen to the three of us. I really wanted to help Jo. He could help me get out of my shell then, and now it's my turn to return the favour. I tried to get him to talk and participate more; it was an entire role reversal from before. I couldn't figure if I was making things worse, considering how Typh had made it as though nothing had happened.

For the next few days after Typh resumed school, I would walk home with them every day. I simply couldn't leave them to be alone with each other. Jo's house was the nearest, so naturally he's the one to leave first, which also gave me more time with Typh... alone.

Being Typh, I never really expected him to talk at all. But perhaps he was feeling awkward, or the stars simply aligned differently that day; he actually started a conversation.

"Hey," he said as I looked at him in response. "I don't think I've ever asked before, but where exactly do you live? You're not taking an extra trip just to send the both of us home, right?" he asked.

We stopped in front of his house as I raised my eyebrows. "Eh? Well... I don't wanna leave the both of you alone, that's for sure... As for where I live, it's not very far from here, just across the bridge."

"Across the bridge?!" he exclaimed, "You've been walking across that bridge all this time? You usually take a bus ride back don't you?"

"Yeah," I said and stopped him from protesting by raising my finger, "But... for my friends it's worth the trouble. Anyway it's just more exercise and company, so why not?"

"You need not go through all that trouble... Actually, about that though..." he trailed away as he thought about his words.

"It's no trouble," I said, "And it really isn't; because I said so."

"Is it because... you like me?" he blushed in embarrassment as he asked.

I smiled in response to his gesture, "Yes... and no. I guess you have not-"

"Son?" a voice called out beside us and interrupted me. Both of us turned to find Typh's mom approaching us with a bag of groceries. "Hey, mom," he replied before turning back to me, "Well, I guess it's time to go then..."

I nodded in agreement but his mom seemed to have other plans with us. "Typh, what are you two talking about? Why not invite him into our house? Come, discuss your schoolwork inside, there's no need to stand outside," she said to him and before asking me, "What says you?"

I looked back at Typh for an answer, but he simply shrugged and said, "Better go along with her wishes, if I were you."

-

"Consider yourself lucky," the blue wolf said as he closed the door behind him, "She's rarely like that. I don't know what happened to her. I'm sorry if I'm eating up your time here."

"Nah, no biggie. I'll be doing nothing at home anyway," I said as I sat down on his chair, "I guess I get to spend more time with you too."

He stayed quiet for a while, but smiled and said, "Yeah... We kinda never had any alone time before, eh?"

"Indeed," I replied, "I've wanted to know you more for a long time, Typh. Maybe it's just me, but I have this feeling that you and I... that we might be very similar to each other."

"I know you might be thinking that it's impossible because we don't even know each other well," I continued while he looked at me questioningly, "Call it an intuition... Or maybe I'm just crazy. I don't know..."

I looked up only to find him grinning slightly. "Go on," he said, "It's okay, I can take crazy. I'm not sane myself either."

I took a deep breath, "Sometimes I have these... echoes in my head. Not just words, but more of an imagination... Like a dream. Only that it feels so surreal, like I'm actually living in there? Well shit, I'm sorry if I don't make any sense..."

"But once in a while you will wake up from that dream only to find out nothing has happened. And you feel so sad and stupid because it's just imagination. But you understand that's what you really want," the blue wolf continued with a flicker of his ear.

I gulped as he accurately pointed out everything. This was the first time I shared something so personal to another who hasn't called me crazy yet. I always felt that no one would ever understand me, but...

"H-how..." I stuttered weakly, "You... you don't think I'm nuts?"

He stared at me right in the eyes and shook his head slowly, "No... I understand how it feels like. You... you might be right on your intuition."

"I've been obsessed with someone else before too," he continued, "It drove my mind so mad. I don't know what's going on or why it happened to me. But I believe it stems from the fact that I'm not a happy person to begin with."

"What happened to you?" I asked, remembering a distant conversation, "I was told that something happened to you when you were young... but you don't have to answer me though."

He actually chuckled softly and placed his paws on his hips. "It was no more than a mere childish squabble between pups," he started while shaking his head. "But at the end of the day, I realised that I was alone. I was young and it hit me really hard. It changed who I was then... and now you have this," gesturing at himself.

I listened silently as he recalled his memories. It wasn't the same as me, but the outcome turned out to be the same. The memory he gave was fragmented, but I could understand him. He looked uncomfortable when he finished, as though he shouldn't be exposing so much of himself to me.

"I see," I said as he finished, "I know this has probably been the first time you tell someone else other than Jo about yourself. I hope you don't mind, and consider than I'm actually doing the same to you as well."

"S-sure," he said uncertainly, "It's starting to get a little... freaky."

"Tell me about it," I snickered, "But it just proves my point isn't it? But I never thought I would ever find someone like me... someone who understands me. It's scary and comforting at the same time."

"You just took the words out of my mouth," he said softly, "So how about you? You don't seem to be much of the loner type to me though."

"That's because sought for a change before we met," I confessed. "I felt alone when I was young as well. My parents only cared to send me for endless classes and earning money. I was neglected and was never good enough in studies to impress my parents. I guess you could see that from my results in school," I said with a hollow laugh, "the only I was good at was boxing. I felt alone and decided to shut the world out from mine."

I fell silent and he decided to continue on for me, "But that only makes you lonely, scared and depressed? What's more is that no one could ever understand you and there's no one to turn to... It was all a bad unending downward spiral."

"Until now," I added.

"Until now," he agreed, "So what made you change?"

"I wanted a change," I said as I looked down at the floor, "I saw a monster in me. I was big, grumpy, rude and angry. I fucking hated what I had become. My world shattered at that time and I was lost. I wanted a fresh start... and that was when I met the both of you."

"It was the two of you that I owe my new life to," I said as I felt myself smiling, "I guess I am lucky to meet the both of you instead of some other bad company. Who knows what may have happened instead eh?"

"That was when I noticed how you acted," I continued, "It was so familiar, like I was looking at my past. Slowly my curiosity ate my mind... I hope you don't freak out, but I dreamt of you really understanding me, and we were great pals with Jo. I was obsessed... with you."

Typh folded his arms as he opened his muzzle to say something before I interrupted him, "I know I said I liked you. I don't know if I like you that way, or if it's just my crazy obsession. But what I know right now is that all these dreams of mine are actually coming true. It's already more than I can ask for. Not every day you find someone who can understand you down to a personal level."

For that moment, everything simply felt right. I finally felt understood, I'm no longer alone and crazy. I'm not the only one anymore. I always thought I'm going crazy being the only one who can never be understood, but now... I've never felt so relieved before. I stood up and pulled the blue wolf into a hug. He yelped in shock and stood there, unsure of how to act.

"Thank you," I whispered into his ear, "Thank you for letting me find you."

"Looks like I'm not on my own after all," I heard him reply, "It made me sort of wish that I should have met you earlier."

I let go of him and found him blushing a little as he avoided my eye contact. "Yeah, perhaps those shit wouldn't be as painful," I said bitterly, "But hey, better late than never, right?"

"Indeed," he nodded, "I guess I was lucky that I had Jo though. Who knows where would I be if he wasn't around? I'm probably dead or something like that."

"Don't say that," I said quickly, "I'm sure you'll turn out strong as well."

"Don't deny that suicide has never gone through your mind before."

I gulped and fell silent. "You... you're right," I admitted even though I really hated to, "But does it matter? Jo saved you... and he saved me."

"And I believe right now he needs us to help him," the blue wolf muttered, "But... how?"

"I don't know," I said sadly, "I wish I knew... The last thing I want for him to fall into sadness like me..."

"At least we have each other to back one another for this," he said. I smiled and turned to see him grin back with a tinge of sadness. "I don't know how this is going to work out," he said, "There are so many things that happened, on top of school and family and-"

He stopped as I loomed over him and grab him on the shoulders. If there's anything to do then, it was to snap him out of it. I don't want him to be in an overthinking state, I know how bad it influences the mind.

"Quiet now," I said in a low voice, "We're in this together, remember? Don't think too much into it. I'm fucking scared as well. But I believe we both know that reading too much into problems that can't be solved now is pointless and honestly bad for the mind."

He bit his lip and nodded, "I just wish things aren't so vexing."

"Don't we all? But since now we found each other... Perhaps this could be a new change," I remarked while smiling at him and staring at the clock behind him, "Anyway, it's getting late already. I really wish we could have more time to talk, but I shouldn't trouble your family by staying late."

"True... and you still have to walk all the way back," he said while his ears drooped a little.

"It's no trouble; I really enjoyed myself getting to know you. You have no idea how happy I am," I said as my tail curled in agreement.

-

Did that really just happened? After all I've dreamt of him, my guess was true? Am I still dreaming? I've always thought I would be alone forever... but now? Although I was more than happy to find someone who could finally understand me, but is this possible? There was this small feeling of fear... like it's too good to be true. Like someone is entering my life. I could feel myself trying to defend against these foreign feelings; some part of my head actually wanted to push him away. What's wrong with me...? Wasn't this what I wanted? Or...

I growled in annoyance as I reached home and tossed my bag at the couch, and my paws unbuttoning my shirt. Maybe I'm just tired. Overthinking was easy with an exhausted mind. I kicked my shoes off and tossed my shirt somewhere in my room, letting my white fur glow in the dim moonlight. My parents weren't coming back for the night. I opened the window to let the wind in, purring softly as I relaxed and stretched on the bed.

Typh... there's never ending surprises from him. All these feelings... no words could explain. I couldn't decide if it was love or not. Over my obsession I barged in between Jo and Typh... was I too much? Should I have just let them be?

I must have looked very selfish... I forced myself between them and I'm saying that I don't want Typh that way? No... That wasn't it. Deep down I know that I still don't want to admit it. Who wanted to be gay? I thought as felt my tail curling protectively against me. I didn't think much about it and idly stroked the tip.

It made me recall the time when he was touching it. My huge body shuddered slightly and before I could stop myself, I actually called out his name. I gasped and covered my muzzle with my paw. W-what the heck man? That was so weird... b-but not unpleasant, I-I guess? Man, what's wrong with me? Why was I being shy... oh my god!

I curled into a white striped ball and covered my face with my paws. There was no way I could ever escape from my mind, so I ended up shamelessly thinking out it. I opened my eyes and saw my wolf standing in front of me, with the winds combing through his lush fur and the moonlight making his white fur glow slightly. He beamed and approached me, while I offered him to lie beside me. He accepted without a word and got under the covers beside me. He propped his muzzle on his elbow and we talked. We talked with very much ease, for we could understand each other all the time. Sometimes he would smile; sometimes he would laugh at me for being silly. I wasn't only protecting him; he may not know it, but he was also saving me. He yawned, finally being caught by his own lethargy. He laid his muzzle on my pillow and sniffed curiously at my scent. That image of him was simply too irresistible. I pulled him close to me tight and my tail curled itself over him possessively. He didn't seem to mind and shifted closer, nuzzling into my fur. His fur was soft and smooth to touch as my paws explored his back all the way down to his rump. I gave it a small squeeze and in response he nibbled at my neck. I moaned softly as he nipped and touched my body with his. Our tails were trashing in anticipation, and he continued on to reach and feel the most intimate part of-

I literally slapped myself awake at that point. What the fuck am I doing? I'm supposed to help him and protect him! Not eye at him lustfully or what not!

I stood up in anger and headed for the showers, hoping it would clear my head. But as I walked to the bathroom, I realised I actually had a boner earlier. I was never sexually active; I didn't the time or mood to actually bother about it. I could be denying it all I wanted earlier, but now I'm aroused by my imagination with another male? I have no excuses any more do I?

Well, shit.