Squirrely's Nuts
IMPORTANT ... READ FIRST!
I'm honored and privileged to have a great friend in the redoubtable GabrielClyde - a splendid writer, a jovial companion, and an all-around crazy stallion. He and I have great roleplaying conversations. Out of respect and deference to his real-life Significant Other, our roleplay isn't sexual. Bawdy, yes, and occasionally flirtatious, but not sexual. We're 14 hours apart from one another in time zones, so he's away to his warm hay-filled stall about the time I'm waking up, and not long after he awakes, the old wuff is on his way to his darkened den. So we chat when we have the chance.
Often, he fixes breakfast (in the roleplay - ask him for his recipes, he's quite the chef), we talk about our days, and he'll prop up his hooves while I condition and comb out his mane and tail, take a body brush to his coat, keep his hoof-feathers clean and neatly trimmed, all the while talking about our lives, our writing, and any number of topics. It's a great way to share each other's personality and furriness at the same time. (Oh yes, he's given my own black coat a proper brushing once or twice!)
One morning (my time), I was at my computer late enough that I caught the hoss just before his bedtime. I offered to tuck him in and read a story to him. And this, my furry friends, is what transpired. In case you doubt my ability to improvise, read the following ... enjoy, and doubt no more! ^___^
I've listed this as "all ages," since it's sort of "light PG" overall; if anyone disagrees, notify me at once and I'll change it to "adult."
(Read the above, or this won't be nearly as much fun)
So here's the transcript of our bit of bawdy roleplay, as I tell the hoss a bedtime story...
Gabriel Clyde: hehehi wuff
Gabriel Clyde: sleepy stallion abut to go to bed
Gabriel Clyde: how's wuff this morning?
Tristan Black Wolf: Doing well. Lots to do, job interview maybe Tuesday, otherwise quiet. *chaste kiss to your forehead* Shall I tuck you up? (that's a "T", not an "F"!)
Gabriel Clyde: hmmmm yes, tuck the stallion in
Gabriel Clyde: it's cold tonight
Tristan Black Wolf: I noticed! (your location is on my Weather.com main page) *helps the naked stallion into bed, making sure the pillows are fluffed up a bit and the comforter is adjusted well* Here we are then, milad... hot tea at your side, if you're still up for it.
Tristan Black Wolf: Might just read you a story, if you'd wish. :)
Gabriel Clyde: hmmmm im always up... :P
Tristan Black Wolf: *tries not to notice*
Gabriel Clyde: hehe yes, a story.
Tristan Black Wolf: Well then... what shall it be about?
Gabriel Clyde: squirrely the squirrel (sorry, been watching Blackadder)
Tristan Black Wolf: (gad, don't remember the real thing, but I'll improvise)
Tristan Black Wolf: Squirrely had no idea, when he woke that morning, that he was going to have to spend the day defending his nuts...
Tristan Black Wolf: Even though life had rather led him up a tree, things were good. It was a good tree, after all, with a nice large space for him to keep his nuts warm.
Gabriel Clyde: lol ... well warm nuts are important
Gabriel Clyde: vital even
Tristan Black Wolf: That morning, however, Meowler was prowling and decided that what he really wanted was to score some nuts. He usually went for the meat, being a carnivore, but the nuts just sounded full and pungent and spicy today. He knew Squirrley had some great nuts, and Meowler thought he'd go grab 'em and do as he wished.
Gabriel Clyde: owwww! poor squirrly
Tristan Black Wolf: Meowler saw Squirrely up in is tree, with his nuts, and made a plan to climb up as quietly as he could, sneak up behind Squirrely, and take his nuts right there in the open.
Tristan Black Wolf: He looked right up at Squirelly flashing his tail, giving him the perfect squirrel shot.
Tristan Black Wolf: His nuts were plainly in view, and ripe for the picking;
Gabriel Clyde: well, when one sees ripe nuts...one must pluck
Tristan Black Wolf: ...and a plucky fellow Meowler was. He was a master plucker who had plucked often and well. Even his mother ... well, we won't go there...
Gabriel Clyde: I always appreciate someone with pluck...
Tristan Black Wolf: Meowler scaled the tree trunk slowly, carefully, keeping his eyes on the prize. Squirrely would never know what hit him until the very last moment, when Meowler would pluck him hard and fast.
Tristan Black Wolf: Squirrely, however, was always careful about his nuts, so he had installed a Basket Alert system to ensure that his nuts were safe. The alarm was triggered to his tail; when his nuts were in danger, he felt it in his tail.
Tristan Black Wolf: And perhaps a bit lower.
Gabriel Clyde: hmmm amazing what you can feel in your tail
Tristan Black Wolf: Not to give the game away, Squirrely waited, pretending he had no idea that someone was after his nuts.
Tristan Black Wolf: The element of surprise was crucial, as was safety. His nuts were big and full, and they needed special care.
Gabriel Clyde: lucky squirrly to have such big full nuts
Tristan Black Wolf: As Meowler got closer, Squirrely formulated his plan. He knew that the feline would be vulnerable once he was too fixated on Squirrely's nuts, and that gave him the advantage.
Tristan Black Wolf: He pressed a hidden butt ... excuse me, button, just inside the sack where his nuts were kept. It was part of the alarm system, and it called the cops on a special speed-dial number. They knew Squirelly intimately, and they'd be glad to help him with his nuts.
Tristan Black Wolf: (will not drag this out, it's late)
Gabriel Clyde: so the police were well up squirrely then
Tristan Black Wolf: When the cops arrived, Meowler was apprehended. "So much for your nut job," the cops said. "Squirrely may not press charges, though; he just didn't want you busting his nuts."
"Foiled again!" Meowler howled. "I'll never get my nut!"
"We'll see who we can lock you up with," said a sympathetic cop. "Oh, pardon my nightstick..."
Tristan Black Wolf: Squirrely was so grateful that he shared his nuts with the cops. He had a party, and everyone came.
Gabriel Clyde: well, you really bust a nut on that one
Tristan Black Wolf: You know how well you can make me bust a nut, hoss.