Return of the Shaggi
#1 of Pundamentals
This is bad. It's seriously bad. No, really. I can't tell you just how truly, magnificently, Homerically bad this is. You may think that someone you know tells bad jokes, but that's just peanuts compared to this one...
If there were a rating system for bad jokes, this one would be an "AAAAUUUUGGHHH!", no question. But there isn't. Sorry. XD
... yeah, no, not really. Not sorry at all. XD XD XD
After Lone Star and Princess Vespa were married, they had a son. Let's call him Jim. And all was well. It looked as though he might have inherited his father's powers, and that was good. Then Vespa became pregnant again, and this time they had a daughter, who we'll call Betty, a few years after Jim. Jim was away at boarding school at the time, so he didn't meet his sister until the summer vacations.
But when they did meet, strange things started to happen: space seemed to distort, objects moved of their own accord, Bob Hope came back from the dead --- that sort of thing. So they went for help to the one person they could think of, the great master Yogurt. Lone Star told them what happened, and Yogurt nodded wisely. "Children of people such as you have very strong powers, but they don't know how to control them," he said. "If they stay too close for too long, they can cause much trouble. Even cause gravity to collapse in on itself... this is very bad."
Vespa and Lone Star were aghast. "But we love our children!" cried Vespa. "There must be something we can do!"
Yogurt nodded sagely. "There is. You must keep them apart. No touching until Betty is one year old. Then, all is safe."
"But how do we know how far apart? What about eating dinner?" said Lone Star. "How will we know how close they can get without causing problems?"
Yogurt nodded. "It's not difficult, not really," he said, "it's just a little formula. Then you'll know."
"Know what?" said Vespa.
"The minimum safe distance between your children before gravity starts to collapse," said Yogurt.
"Ohh, of course," said Lone Star, "I get it: the Schwartz child radius."