Army of Cuteness Part 3
#3 of Army of Cuteness
Army of Cuteness Part 3
a short story by Relee the Squirrel
I spent the next hour in my cell lying on the stuffed pink bed. I wondered quietly to myself what sort of 'training session' Sunshine was talking about. These plushies were certainly mysterious but they were also undeniably sweet and cuddly. The all-too-familiar jingle of my cell's door opening brought my attention to Sunshine. The ever-smiling yellow bear came without a food cart this time, and I knew why. This time she was taking me to training.
I took a deep breath and stood up, greeting Sunshine with a quiet "Hello again, private Sunshine."
The bear held out her hand and giggled, saying "Please take my paw, and I'll lead you to the training room! Oh you're going to have ever so much fun!"
I gently grasped the stuffed paw of my captor, and she pulled me along out of the cell with a few giddy skips. I tried to slow her down and she relented to a calmer pace as we padded on soft plush-floor through an excessively fluffy hallway. I took the time to ask, "Just what sort of training is this, Sunshine?"
Sunshine squeezed my hand just a little tighter and squealed with so much excitement that I feared she would tug my arm free of my body. She said to me then, "You're going to learn all about love, joy and happiness! It's so wonderful, you'll be free and oh so happy!"
We stopped before a massive red plastic door embedded in the fuzzy pink plush of the wall. It was an amazing work of art, covered in bas-relief hearts and polished plastic emblems of stars and moons and teddy bear heads. Sunshine paused only a moment to let me be impressed by the workmanship of the door before she pushed it open and led me through. It was a large auditorium classroom inside, filled with lines of pink and yellow plastic desks all facing a plush stage and podium. A pair of plushies stood on the stage, one a stuffed pink rabbit, and the other a blue and white dog. Both of them wore matching ribbon bows on top of their heads, and looked out over a crowd of people sitting in the desks.
For the first time since I had been taken to this place, I saw other non-plush creatures. There were at least a dozen humans, a family of five dogs, a group of miscellaneous furries that looked like college students, and three androids. I bit my lower lip and leaned forward to speak to Sunshine. "You guys aren't going to hurt those kids, are you?" I asked. Along with the three dog children, there was a young boy and girl in the group of humans.
Sunshine stopped and turned to me, shaking her head no. "We don't like to hurt people; we just want to teach you all about love, joy, and happiness! We wouldn't think of hurting our special friends!" she said, though I felt unconvinced that her definition of hurt and mine were the same. Sunshine gestured to a desk and said "Please, have a seat!" so I sat down on the pink chair. Other plushies were assisting the others, some in groups and some alone. Nobody seemed to be resisting, and a few of the other furries in the room were already manifesting plush traits. I gulped as I looked at my own body, far pudgier and softer than I had been when I arrived.
The blue and white dog with the ribbon made a noise like clearing his throat, and raised his hands. "Welcome, everyone, to your first day of class! My name is Professor Fluffpuppy, and I'll be your teacher for your stay here. I'd also like to introduce my assistant, Miss Cuddlebunny." my new classmates murmured amongst themselves, but they seemed to have already separated into groups that I was not a part of. The three androids were seated near me, but none of them made a sound.
"We're just sure you'll all learn to accept the ways of love, joy, and happiness in no-time!" chimed up Miss Cuddlebunny, who primped herself on the stage behind Prof. Fluffpuppy.
"Before we begin, however..." began the professor, "we do have rules to follow, and we must tell you about the punishments!"
Miss Cuddlebunny cooed softly, "Oh we don't like to punish our special friends, but it's for your own good!"
"The first rule of class is everybody has a good time!" continued Professor Fluffpuppy. "Any troublemakers will be dealt with swiftly."
"But in the most gentle and loving way possible!" added Miss Snugglebunny, who giggled into her paws like a shy schoolgirl.
"The second rule of class is..." said Professor Fluffpuppy, who paused to make sure everyone was listening."No frowning!"
Miss Cuddlebunny shook her finger like she was scolding a naughty child as she said, "We're here to learn to be happy all the time! If you make yourself a grumpy gus you'll only bring everyone down, and we can't have that!"
"The third rule of class is..." said Professor Fluffpuppy, pausing again as he gazed around the auditorium-class, "We demand total obedience!"
Miss Cuddlebunny nodded eagerly and smiled extra big, saying "We know what's best for you, and we'll help you all learn the ways of love, joy, and happiness!"
Professor Fluffpuppy put on a big smile and said, "And those are the rules! Now, if you were to break the rules..." he paused again.
"None of you will break the rules, right gang?" cheered Miss Cuddlebunny.
"But if you were naughty and broke the rules," continued the Professor, "our very good friend Mr. Fuzzyfort, within whom we all live, would quickly take you away to the super-fun room! There, our expert fun-ologists would make sure to find out what was keeping you from being a good student, and help you learn how to behave!"
I'm sure I wasn't the only one who gulped as we all listened and watched. The professor reached under the podium on the stage and pulled out a telescoping pointing stick. It was like a normal pointing stick, but pink and the cap was a pink plastic heart. Miss Cuddlebunny went behind him and pulled down a poster like an old video screen. It had a psychedelic hologram background with a huge stylized smiling face in the middle, and text below that read "SMILE!" in big cartoony letters.
"Now to begin with," announced the professor, "I want to see everybody's best and brightest smiles!" he said, giving a huge plush smile that threatened to overtake his eyes and blow the cuteness receptors of everyone in the audience. Miss Cuddlebunny joined in next to him, the two giving their best demonstration of a smile that nobody else in the room had the facial topography to match. Though confused and hesitant, I decided this was better than the threatened super-fun room, and I put on the biggest smile I could muster. Though I couldn't see my own face, my mouth felt rather strange as I smiled, like it was bigger or wider than I could ever smile before. However, I knew I was no comparison to the plush smiles that still shone out at the class.
Professor Fluffpuppy's smile only shrank a little as he began to speak again, pointing his pointer behind at the poster. "Just keep smiling everybody, and look at the poster! It's the first lesson to learn just how good it feels to smile all the time! It feels so GOOD to smile all the time!" and I looked at the poster, and we all did, and we watched the swirling psychedelic holograms and we smiled... except for one person.
Miss Cuddlebunny walked off the stage and up to the three androids who sat in the row ahead of me. "Aww it looks like we might have a grumpy gus here, professor!" she said, not smiling quite as much as she was before. "Why aren't you smiling Mr. X314? Do you want to go to the super-fun room?" she asked. The other two androids turned their heads to look at their companion in the middle. They were three different models of android, each looking as different as the group of furries sitting in the right front row. The android on the left had a plastic face with lenses for eyes and artificial plastic eyebrows and a mouth that he had arranged in a smile. The android on the right had a solid black head, but an internal laser projected a lit-up smiling face through the translucent plastic. The android in the middle, however, was fully metal. He had two green lenses for eyes, but no mouth. He could not smile!
The android, apparently named X314, spoke in his monotone android voice to say "I.AM.UN.ABLE.TO.PER.FORM.THAT.FA.CIAL.EX.PRES.SION. I.HAVE.NO.MOUTH."
Miss Cuddlebunny gasped in the cutest way possible, and said "Oh you poor dear! Well we can fix that, can't we Professor Fluffpuppy?"
The professor nodded, smiling as big as he could. "We sure can, Miss Cuddlebunny!" he said, reaching under the podium to pick up a small purple felt bag. The professor gently tossed the bag to Miss Cuddlebunny, who caught it and pulled open the golden drawstrings.
"Hold still Mr. X314!" said Miss Cuddlebunny, who sprinkled a shimmering rainbow powder from the pouch over X314's head. At first, the air cleared, and nothing had happened... then suddenly the android's head began to glow with incandescent light! He glowed so bright that I couldn't see, before the light faded and revealed that his head had changed. The metal of his head, once gunmetal grey, had changed to a rose red! And his front panel had changed as well, now featuring visual receptors shaped like wide cartoon eyes, and a big smiling mouth, set in place and unmovable, covered the lower half of his face! I gulped in shock at this display, and many of the people in the room stopped smiling.
"Now now settle down everyone, and keep smiling!" said the Professor, tapping his pointer against the 'Smile' poster for emphasis. And so we smiled! And smiled... And smiled... I think we spent an hour and a half smiling and being told to keep smiling before there was any change in the lesson.
Finally, Professor Fluffpuppy said, "Alright that's enough smile practice for today everybody! But please feel free to keep smiling all the time!" Many of the people in the room sighed in relief as they lowered the corners of their mouths, though none of us dared to lower our mouths all the way to a frown. I was slightly surprised how unfatigued I was from smiling so long, and a little worried, but I decided to let that worry rest as the Professor spoke up again.
"Now we want to teach your first lesson in the aspect of love! Mr. and Mrs. Baker would you please bring your family up to the stage?" asked Professor Fluffpuppy. The family of Dalmatians sitting in the left of the auditorium class clung together suddenly, as if afraid, but then stood up and walked towards the front of the class.
I could hear the mother quietly telling the children "Stay close and do what they say, stay close and do what they say..." over and over. They all stood up on the stage and the Professor and Miss Cuddlebunny stood on either side of them.
"These fine people are a loving family." said Professor Fluffpuppy. "See how they cling together for support and caring? That is the power of love!"
Miss Cuddlebunny clutched her hands over her heart and cooed, saying "I love to see such a happy family!"
The professor walked around the front of the family to Miss Cuddlebunny, and the two hugged on the stage, smiling happily as ever. When they broke apart the professor said, "We express our love through contact, and the best way to express that love is through hugging! Everybody hug the person closest to you!"
The three Dalmatian boys clung together in a group hug, and their parents hugged each other as best they could manage under the stress. All around the auditorium people began to hug, but I was alone in my section. I stood up and went down a level to meet with the androids. The android on the far right stood up to give me a hug, while the other two hugged each other. The android's grip was amazingly strong, and I feared he would crush me, but instead my softened body merely squeezed tight, and I found myself filled with a wonderful sensation of contentment. Suddenly the android stopped, and I realized that I had been so absorbed in the sensation that I hadn't even heard the professor tell us to stop. I looked down at my body with confusion; a hug had never felt THAT good before.
Professor Fluffpuppy began to speak, and so I listened while standing in the aisle. "Hugs are a wonderful way to spread love everywhere, but some grumpy people get so lost in bad feelings that they forget to love everyone! Thankfully we are here to teach you all the ways of love, joy, and happiness!" At that point he held paws with Miss Cuddlebunny, and the two smiled at each other. "When you're not hugging, holding hands is a great way to show everyone you care. Everybody hold hands now!" he said, and we all obeyed.
The android had grabber claws instead of hands, but we held each other anyway. While not as dreamy as the hug, I felt a strange comforting pleasure from holding hands with the android next to me, and I didn't even know his name! Soon though, Professor Fluffpuppy said it was alright to let go, and we did.
Professor Fluffpuppy and Miss Cuddlebunny gave either of the Dalmatian parents a hug, and quietly told them that they could return to their seats. When they were seated, the professor began to speak again. "Now that you know how to hug, and how great it is to hold hands, we want you to hug everybody you meet from now on! Spread the love to everyone, everywhere!"
Next, Miss Cuddlebunny went to a bookshelf next to the stage, and pulled out small booklets. She began to hand them out to everybody, and the first few people who got them began to groan in protest. Professor Fluffpuppy shot them a quick glance, however, and they quieted up and put on big smiles. The flash obedience that my classmates displayed made me wonder if my treatment here had been better than theirs. Sitting at about the middle of the class, I received my booklet in turn and saw what the others were groaning about. Just the pictures of notes on the cover made me realize they were going to make us sing.
Professor Fluffpuppy tapped his pointer on the podium like a conductor as he said, "Remember everyone, misbehavior will not be tolerated. I will play the music, and you all must sing along with Miss Cuddlebunny. Please open your booklets and read over the lyrics first." He folded away his pointer and padded over to the cabinet to fetch an instrument that looked like a guitar, but all in blue and red plastic and with a heart-shaped sound box.
The professor and Miss Cuddlebunny took the stage and got ready to begin, even as I felt my heart pounding in my chest. Like most people, I was afraid of public performances... especially singing.
I won't put you, gentle reader, through the torture of reading the lyrics. Suffice it to say we sang for at least an hour about everything cute and nice and happy, sounding scarily like a children's choir, and finished with a loyalty song for some nation or world they called Cutopia. Many of us sighed in relief as Professor Fluffpuppy put his instrument away, and Miss Cuddlebunny collected the booklets. There was still more to the class, however.
Professor Fluffpuppy returned to the stage and cleared his throat to get our attention. "Now that we have practiced our exercises of Love and Joy, it's time for all of you to learn about Happiness."
Miss Cuddlebunny squealed as she hopped back and forth, saying "This is my favorite part!"
The professor nodded and smiled, saying "Happiness is the warm feeling you get inside when you do the right thing! It's the special compass that lives inside all of us and tells us the difference between right and wrong. We want everyone to come up on stage one at a time and tell us what makes you happy! But first..."
Miss Cuddlebunny stepped forward to the podium, giggling happy, "First I get to go, and show you how to do it!" she said. Suddenly she took on a whole other cast, and she looked to be in deep thought. Finally she smiled and started to speak.
"The things that make me happy are... Hugs! And smiling! And my friends! And sparkly stars in the night sky, and pretty rainbows, and being cute and fuzzy, and spreading love, joy, and happiness to everyone!" spoke Miss Snugglebunny, as we all tried not to choke on our own thoughts that these plushies might not think are so nice.
Professor Fluffpuppy began to pick out people in the auditorium, asking all of us to line up while Miss Cuddlebunny sat in the desk front and center to watch. The professor explained that we should each say what makes us feel happy, then return to our seats. The Dalmatian family was first, and each of them talked about their own interests, and said that their family made them the happiest. It was sappy, but I think they really meant it. After them was a group of humans, all campers. The children didn't seem to be related to the other humans, and I worried for their parents. Next it was the three androids, and myself after them. They each took the stand and spoke about things like proper maintenance and efficient labour making them happy. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest as I waited my turn, and then the last android returned to his seat.
"Um... uh... I..." I stammered, feeling terribly bashful in front of everybody. Miss Cuddlebunny pointed to the corners of her mouth and smiled big, reminding me to smile myself. I tried to put on a big smile and somehow I felt a lot better as I began to speak. "The things that make me happy are... My friends and family, and playing games, and helping people, and eating good food, and hugs, and smiling, a..." I suddenly stopped! I didn't mean to say that, did I? But I was done, and the Professor didn't say anything as I walked back to my seat. The others continued, telling all the things that made them happy, but nobody else but Miss Snugglebunny and I had said hugs or smiling...
When the last person was back in their seat, the big red door at the back of the auditorium opened again, and many plushies entered the room. I recognized Sunshine, and she came over to me. Professor Fluffpuppy said, "You'll all be taken back to your rooms now, but please remember everything you learned today!"
I gave Sunshine a shy smile, but she just stood there expectantly, smiling and waiting. Then I remembered what the professor had said, and I gave Sunshine a hug. "That's the way Miss Relee! Aren't hugs the bestest?" she said, hugging me back eagerly. We both held hands and she led me back to my room. All the way she asked me how my class went, and what we did, and how I felt about it. I tried to answer honestly, though I was very shy. When we finally got to my room, she stopped at the closed door. "So are you ready to dedicate yourself to the principles of love, joy, and happiness?" she asked, surprisingly casual. I was taken aback, and shook my head no. "I don't think I want to do that, Sunshine." Sunshine's smile went as low as it gets, and she looked down, "Well, alright, but we'll get you to change your mind sooner or later! I'll see you when I bring you your dinner." The door opened with a chime, and Sunshine waved bye to me as I entered the room. I looked around the room and noticed it had changed. The door closed behind me before I could ask Sunshine about it, so I just looked around the room. There were pillows on the already soft floor, right next to a little cabinet. On the cabinet there was a pink television set with a white casing in the shape of a rabbit's head, complete with 'rabbit ear' antennae. Inside of the case was a strange box, like a video game console, but not like one I've ever seen, and two game-pad controllers. The other change that struck me was a poster on the wall between the foot of my bed and the table where I eat my meals. A smaller version of the poster from class, with the same psychedelic hologram and the same 'SMILE!' message. I couldn't help but smile when I looked at it, which frightened me.