X. Draw me close to you
As told by Nina
I had taken my sketchbook and pencils with me, so I could try my hand at some drawing until Trisha was done with her dinner preparations. Unlike Milo, I could actually draw a face that resembled my subject - although since he normally draws as a puppy activity, it's not really a big deal.
However, when I feel like it, I still draw like a big girl, even when I am playing puppy. Drawing is one of my two main ways to express myself, so even when I am little, I like to draw pictures of whatever comes to mind. If what I am drawing is not abstract, it is usually something I could also have drawn as a big dog.
In this case, I stuck with drawing Trisha herself. I chuckled as I realized I had never drawn an elderly person before, but learning new skills and techniques is one the things I like about being an artist. In short, I gladly accepted the self-imposed challenge.
With my pacifier still in my muzzle, I went on to draw a portrait. I soon got so engrossed in the activity that I lost track of time. Then again, my back was turned towards the clock, and 'little puppies can't tell the time yet', to quote Trisha. She eventually asked for my attention when she spoke up.
"Dinner is almost ready, dear. Would you like to show me what you've drawn?"
I nodded with enthusiasm, then held up the portraitI had made of her.
"Wow, that's beautiful, Nina. Can I have it?"
There was no real reason for me to doubt, but yet I cocked my head, pretending to ponder her question as if the outcome could cost me a month's salary.
"You's can haf it," I then said, handing over the paper.
Trisha accepted it with a broad smile and went to put it on her fridge.
"Can you put away your sketchbook and wash your hands?"
I lisped a 'yush' and went on to do what she had asked. When I was done washing my hands, she asked me to hold them up so she could check whether I had done a proper job. She gave me her approval and motioned me to sit down at the table again, which she had set in the meantime.
"You're going to have to take out your pacifier for a while, dear," Trisha said kindly.
"But I's wike my paci," I said disappointed.
"I know, but you can't eat with a pacifier in your muzzle, can you?"
I shook my head, then slowly took the soother out, putting it on the table.
"Good girl! Now, are you big enough to feed yourself, or do you want me to help you out?" she asked. I decided to drop my puppy voice for a moment.
"Um, you don't have to feed me if you don't want to."
"We can always try, right? If it's too much of a hassle, you can always decide to take matters into your own hands. Or, in this case, your fork in your own hand."
We both laughed. I appreciated her joke, as it lightened the slight tension I had created by dropping my act.
"However, there's one small problem."
I cocked my head again, looking at her pensively.
"I don't have a bib for you, dear."
"But I's a big girl!" I protested, crossing my arms.
"You sure are, but you wouldn't want to ruin your sleeper, would you?"
I shook my head.
"No worries, dear. I think we can improvise a little," she replied, tying a kitchen towel around my neck. "It's not as effective as the real thing, but we'll see where this gets us."
The old Indian sat down at the short end of the table, so she was closer to me, but could still look me in the eyes. She had cooked a meal with mashed potatoes, shredded spinach and sausages, which told me she had done her best to put together a puppy-appropriate meal.
For the next while, Trisha took turns between feeding me and eating her own meal. It made me feel strange. I was nervous about showing my puppy side to her, and I was still embarrassed. Not just because of my 'accident', but mostly because showing my inner puppy means I am at my most vulnerable.
On the other hand, the old Indian breathed an atmosphere of calmness and peace. Milo had some of this as well, but his general insecurity hindered him in showing this impartiality. Her eyes told me everything she did was from the heart, even though we both knew the entire concept of 'big puppies' was new to her.
Furthermore, her tail and ears showed signs of enjoyment from time to time. In an uncommon way, she appeared to have fun 'playing' with me. Maybe taking care of me reminded her of her daughter? I did not dare to ask about Milo's mother, though, as I figured talking about her deceased daughter might ruin the mood. I made a mental note to ask her about it later.
When we had both finished our meal, Trisha got up and opened her freezer, took something out and held it out of my sight. She then instructed me to close my eyes and not to peek. Obeying like a good puppy, I put my hands over my eyes and waited for whatever she had in mind for me.
I heard something rustle, probably the package of something edible. The suspense was soon resolved when I was allowed to look again. Trisha held a bright red colored popsicle in front of my muzzle, offering it to me.
"Can I trust you to eat this by yourself without making a big mess?" she asked, teasing me a bit.
I nodded vigorously, holding up my hands like a begging feral puppy. The old Indian handed the popsicle to me and I began to eagerly lick it. She had taken out a popsicle for herself as well, but for obvious reasons, I was done sooner than she was.
"You really like popsicles, don't you?" she said, suppressing a laugh.
"Uh-huh. They's really yummy!"
"They sure are," she agreed. "And you're a good girl for cleaning off your plate. That's why I gave you a treat."
"Thankies," I said, looking away. I am used to Milo calling me a good girl, but hearing those words from Trisha almost embarrassed me.
"No need to be shy, dear. You've been good all afternoon. I wish actual puppies were as easy to handle as you are."
"Um, thanks, I guess?" I said, dropping my puppy voice.
"You're welcome," Trisha replied, after which she finished her popsicle. "I suppose we should get measuring."
We got up from the dining table and she dug out a tape-measure from her closet.
"I think you'd better take your sleeper off, dear."
Clutching Natasha, my tail quickly found its way between my legs.
"Did I say something wrong?"
I took a deep breath and tried to relax. "Do I really have to?"
"Ideally, yes. You say Milo's body shape is similar to yours, but I want to know the minimum sizes. Should our project go wrong, you could always wear the onesie yourself and make a Milo one that does fit."
She did make a fair point. It would be a waste if neither Milo nor me could fit into the onesie, especially if we put so much effort into making it. And keeping it a secret, for that matter.
"Maybe... I-I guess I'm kinda nervous about standing in the middle of your living room, wearing nothing but a diaper. A-and you have this big window... I feel like everyone can see me."
Somehow, showing my diaper to Trisha was more embarrassing than telling her about my 'accident'. In hindsight, I was glad she did not want to change us. I would probably be mortified.
"Don't worry, dear. For starters, we already established I'm not going to laugh at you. Second, if you look closer, you'll see my window faces a park that's basically a small forest. We're practically at the edge of the city here. I'm sure there won't be anyone looking."
Looking down at my feet, I sighed.
"Can I still hold Natasha?"
"Of course you can," she reassured. "Well, most of the time she won't be in the way. Now would you be so kind to take your sleeper off?"
In response, I slowly zipped down my sleeper and let it drop to the floor. I hesitated for a few seconds, then stepped out of the fabric that still covered my paws. Clad in only my diaper, I bolted towards the dining table, where I had left Natasha on the chair next to the one I had sat on.
"Aww... that's adorable," Trisha commented.
My ears perked up straight and my tail bushed out. Looked over my shoulder, I probably looked as if I had been caught red-handed while doing something illegal. However, all I met was Trisha's warm smile, and her eyes looking at my waist.
"I didn't even know they made such diapers this big," she mused.
"Well, um... that's 'cause... y'know, they make those especially for people like me and Milo," I admitted shyly.
"Then where did you buy them? In a store?" she asked, putting the tape-measure around my waist.
"What store would sell diapers for littlefurs? Besides, I wouldn't dare to buy these in a store. Everyone would know I'd be wearing them!"
"Good point," Trisha replied, writing down the sizes she had measured.
"You can order these online, along with other, um... 'relevant supplies', so to speak. They send it in a blank cardboard box and it's delivered to your front door. Alternatively, you can have it sent to a postal office, so you can pick up your order there."
"Why would you do that? Isn't it more convenient to have your order delivered at home?"
"For people like Milo, it is, because he lives on his own. I, on the contrary, live either at my parents' place or in an apartment building. Neither of those places has much privacy, and I wouldn't want any of the people I live with to find out about my diapers. Many littlefurs still live with their parents, so they have to be very careful to not expose their secret. Not a lot of people are as accepting as you are."
Trisha continued measuring my body, while we changed the subject to the party I wanted to organize for Milo. We discussed practical topics like activities, a birthday cake and other food, but I also asked what she would not want to do.
Eventually, Trisha was done taking my measurements, and she had scribbled everything down on a notepad. She offered to look for suitable fabric and asked me what I was looking for. We decided upon using colors he usually wears, except brighter.
Trisha would look for red and light green fabrics, so the onesie would make Milo look more abloom. When she asked about whether I wanted a print or words of any kind, it did not take me long to come up with the idea of putting an appliqué on the chest of the onesie.
I had no idea what effort it would take me to find anything suitable, but since Roundup Adventures is fairly popular, I figured it could not be impossible. Maybe someone on PuppyNet could point me in the right direction. After all, Milo was by far not the only 'big puppy' to be a fan of the series.
Those were concerns for another day, however. For now, I had to change back into my big girl clothes, since I was heading to Milo's place. It struck me as ironic that I would be changing my clothes, only to change them back again once I was with Milo.
Furthermore, I would have to take my diaper off, only to put one on again later. Regardless of me not wanting to be diapered in public, I had no idea how I could explain arriving at Milo's front door while already wearing a diaper.
He knows I never travel diapered, so I had to take it off before I left Trisha's place. It felt like a waste, since I had not used it. Just before I decided to roll up the diaper and dispose of it, I chose to save it.
After all, the tapes were re-sealable, and I could just tell Milo I had worn this diaper in my room, but did not use it because I would not have a way to safely dispose of it. He would probably take that as a legitimate excuse, and that would be that.
With all my puppy items back in my duffel bag, I put my big girl clothes back on. I finished the picture by snapping my collar around my neck. Natasha was the last item to disappear into my bag, but only after I had given her another quick cuddle.
Back in the living room, I asked Trisha whether she needed any help doing the dishes. She appreciated my offer, but ultimately declined. The old Indian told me she would be alright and I should go see my boyfriend.
I thanked her for being so unprejudiced with me, and for everything she had done. She just smiled and gave me a hug. With a last greeting, I left her apartment. When I reached the bus stop, it started to dawn on me what had just happened.
Over the past few hours, I had shown my inner puppy to someone who was more or less a stranger, and she was not even a littlefur. Of course, I had been more nervous than ever, but at other moments, I had greatly enjoyed myself. Furthermore, we had been able to make some solid plans for Milo's birthday party. I smiled to myself as I imagined how much fun my little puppy would have.