Zarvaun Versus Charlie

Story by Niniju on SoFurry

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"Well, it looks like you get the second rare of the night as well, Jack!" I congratulated, "Not that Zarv made it any fun." I held out the deck of rares for the husky to choose from."Okay! Whatever it is, I'm putting it to good use!" Jack exclaimed, pulling a card, "A Temple of Enlightenment! I needed this!""Well good for you." Charlie sulked."Oh, cheer up, Charles!" I said, "Next go, everyone gets at least one rare!""Okay..." Charlie mumbled.Zarvaun then returned to the kitchen, sighing before muttering, "How long do I have to stay in this itchy thing?" I thought about it for a moment, "Tell you what, come in first place in our tournament and you can take it off. If you don't, then you wear it 'til midnight.""Fine. I'll be using a standard this time around." the sergal responded, pulling yet another deck, this time from his pocket. This one, however, was in its own special case and sleeves."You kind of have to. We're having a standard mini-tournament." I said, waving around my Selesnya deck."Mhmm... Where's my concentration juice?" Zarvaun questioned as he pulled another Mountain Dew from the fridge."I doubt that actually helps you concentrate." I sighed, "Anyway, we're pulling cards to see who challenges who." I held out four lands. Zarvaun chose the one farthest to my right, Jack chose the next to farthest to my left, and Charlie chose the one to the farthest left, leaving me with a Forest. Charlie and Zarvaun had drawn Mountains, putting them against each other, and Jack and I had the Forests, putting us against one another."Ah, well. This'll be easy then." Zarvaun exclaimed, smiling at the chipmunk."And I guess I'm going to have a smackdown with Jack." I added. There was a knock at the door then, "Well it's about time those jacks got here. Uh...not the name." I got up and answered the door, revealing a certain fox and rabbit. Meritt Sagitta and Jack Rabbit."Hey Frost." Meritt greeted, "Are we too late for the party?""No, not really. Come on in." I invited."Does this mean we have to redraw?" Zarvaun complained."No, we're not playing." the rabbit said, "Hey Jack.""Hey Rabs!" the husky greeted, "So I guess it's time I start responding to Barkly.""And I'm going by Rabs, so whatevs." the rabbit chuckled."Hey guys!" Charlie called, "Just in time for us killing each other in a fantasy game!""You mean, you guys dying off whilst I conquer everything ever." Zarvaun said sarcastically."Let's just get started, Shark Face." I dismissed."Wait, why is Zarv wearing a diaper?" Meritt asked."But- I covered it?" Zarvaun asked."Dude, I wear them. I know a diaper wearer when I see one." Meritt said."He lost the first free for all of the night." I dismissed."Technically, I let them win." Zarvaun spat back."Oh sure! You got cocky!" Charlie yelled, "An Emrakul that turned against you! Must've been fun dying to a traitor.""I still don't see why you didn't just counter-" I started."Frostbutt, shut it!" Charlie snapped."Huh?" The sergal questioned."Nothing." I said quickly with a grin."Jerks, the lot of ya." Zarvaun replied."Says the one whose jerkiness landed him in a diaper." I said."Let's get on with this." the sergal huffed, setting his now shuffled library down."Sure." Charlie said, "Mind if I go first?""It's a tournament, you roll." I reminded."Oh yeah." Charlie mused, flipping a D10. "Six! Not bad. You roll, Zarv." the chipmunk said, tossing the die to the sergal across the table."Five. Looks like you got what you wanted." Zarvaun remarked."Yay!" Charlie chirped, "I'll open with this Temple of Epiphany. I'll throw the card on top to the bottom and pass.""Drawing..." Zarvaun said as he pulled eight cards, and laid down a land. "Mutavault, pass.""Aight." the chipmunk replied, drawing, "Another Temple, throwing that card to the bottom, your go.""Kay. Second Mutavault, tap the first one, the seconds a

creature, swing for two." The sergal mused."Sure." the chipmunk accepted, changing his die to eighteen, "My turn?""Mhmm." The sergal nodded."Well I'll draw, play an Island, and pass my turn." the chipmunk narrated."Cool. Draw, and uhh... Mana Confluence. Tap a Muta, swing again." Zarvaun said."Magma Jet the Vault." Charlie responded, "I scry 2, it dies.""Jerk." the sergal muttered as he discarded the land."Are you done?" the chipmunk asked."Yup. Go." Zarvaun responded."Kay. Island, Oracle of Bones. Tribute?""Yeah, add the counters." The sergal responded."Swing for five." the chipmunk added.Zarvaun changed his die to fifteen before continuing. "My go then.""Indeed." the chipmunk confirmed."Mm. Breeding pool, I'll pay for it. Tapping the Pool and my Mana Con, losing a life, and Search Warrant." the sergal attempted."Kay. Prescient Chimera, Keranos, Oracle's Insight, and Aqueous Form. You gain four life." the chipmunk replied."Good to know. Turn's yours." the sergal responded."Good deal." Charlie said, "I'll enchant my Oracle with that Aqueous Form, making him unblockable. Swing five, I scry one.""Have to take it. Done yet?" Zarvaun responded."I'm satisfied." the chipmunk confirmed."Temple of Plenty, and losing a life for Divination." the sergal said."What's that put you at?" Charlie asked."Ten. For now." Zarvaun answered."Kay, my turn?" the chipmunk added."It's all yours, bud." The sergal announced."Good deal." the chipmunk accepted, "Wait, at the end of your turn I'll Jet you for two.""Kay fine. Go already." The sergal said putting his die at 8."I'll play a Mountain then bring out Keranos. Swing for five, I scry one." the chipmunk explained."Down to three. Done?" Zarvaun questioned."Yup." the chipmunk confirmed."Draw. Mutavault. Hmm... Alright, lose a life for another Search Warrant. " the sergal said."Oracle's Insight, the Chimera." the chipmunk said."Brings me to four, now let's see... I'll pass." he concluded."I have to reveal the card I draw. It's a Sigiled Skink, so I zap you for three with Keranos. Then I'll swing for five to win.""Well aren't you lucky I didn't draw anything good this time?" Zarvaun said, prepping for the next of three games."Let's just continue. Next game." the chipmunk dismissed, "Let's roll, may I have the die?""Here." the sergal said, rolling across to the chipmunk."Alright. Kay, rolled a four." the chipmunk announced.Zarvaun grabbed the die as it was rolled to him and flipped it, rolling a six."I guess you're going first this time." the chipmunk said."So who won that game?" Rabs asked, walking out of the bathroom."Munkey over there. It won't happen again." Zarvaun said pulling his cards. "Hallowed Fountain tapped. Pass.""Kay." Charlie accepted, "Mountain, pass.""Draw, and Temple of Mystery." Zarvaun said before continuing, "Keeping that on top.""Done?" the chipmunk asked."Yup. All yours" the sergal said."Alright." the chipmunk concluded, "In that case, I'll Jolt ya for one at the end of your turn.""Cool." Zarv added."I'll draw. I play a Temple of Epiphany to scry one...and throw that to the bottom. Go." the chipmunk narrated."Draw. Mutavault and Search ya for six life." "And before it resolves I'll Spark Jolt ya again to get a card out of my hand. You gain five life instead and take one damage." Charlie said, " I also have a Keranos, a Thassa, a Mountain, a Riddle of Lightning, and a Flamespeaker Adept.""Kay." Zarvaun continued as he took the life. "Go.""Draw." Charlie started, "I'll

play an Island and summon Thassa. Go.""Tossing a Breeding Pool, and playing Heroes' Reunion, targeted at myself. All yours, again." Zarvaun motioned."I'll scry. Throw that to the bottom, I draw. I'll play another Temple, throwing that card down. I'll then summon a Flamespeaker Adept. Go.""Breeding pool, and I'll pay for it to bring out Dictate of Karametra." Zarvaun narrated through his turn."Awesome, all mana output is doubled." Charlie commented."Pretty much. Go." the sergal added."Okay, I'll scry. My Flamespeaker gets +2/+0 and First Strike for the turn. I'll play a Mountain. I'll tap two Mountains and my Temple, floating a colorless mana, to play Keranos. Then I'll tap out to play Riddle of Lightning, targeting you." Charlie started."And the scry is...?" Zarvaun questioned."Well, after my Flamespeaker gets another +2/+0, I reveal an Oracle's Insight. You take four.""Done?" the sergal questioned back."Nah, I'll swing for six." the chipmunk added."How 'bout now?" he asked in reply, taking the damage."Yeah, you're at fourteen, so I'm satisfied." Charlie said."Alrighty. Firstly, Temple of Enlightenment. Next, I'ma just Deicide on your Keranos."  the sergal slammed the card down."Fine, all four of my Keranoses are exiled." the chipmunk muttered, getting his gods out of his library and exiling them."Yup! Now then, Tapping myself out for a Sphinx's Revelation." Zarvaun added."How much?" the chipmunk inquired."Five life and cards for me." the sergal said."Fair enough. Ya done?" Charlie asked."For now. Go." he replied."Kay then, scry and draw. I'll play a Mountain and Jolt you for one. I get to scry again, keeping that there, and swing for six. You're at twelve." the chipmunk narrated."Mhmm. My go again?" Zarvaun asked."Indeed it is." Charlie confirmed."Kay. Mana Confluence, and I'm gonna tap that as well as a breeding pool for Kiora, The Crashing Wave." Zarvaun

started."So you're taking a damage." Charlie said."Mhmm. Plus one to her and your creature is nulled." Zarvaun continued."Sure thing. My turn?" the chipmunk asked."Patience, Charles. Tapping my Temple, Fountain, and Breeding Pool for Divination and Search Warrant.""I assume you're targeting yourself with that?" the chipmunk asked."Nah, I'll target that speck of dust on the table." the sergal responded sarcastically."Don't get cocky, Zarv." the chipmunk sighed, resting his head on his hand, "I have no cards here, anyhow.""But I- I could of sworn you still had a card or two. Doesn't matter, I guess. Take your turn then." Zarvaun sighed at his own mistake."Okay." the chipmunk said, taking a deep breath, "I'll scry one, draw that card, and play a second Flamespeaker. Go.""Adding a Mutavault, nulling your first Flamespeaker, and pumping a Sphinx with 13." Zarvaun announced, organizing his now huge hand. "Now then, I'll pass and discard. Your go.""Okay." the chipmunk sighed, drawing, "I'll enchant my not nulled Adept with an Aqueous Form and swing for six unblockable at your Kiora to kill her. Pass.""Tossing out another Kiora, and minusing one this time. Playing two lands, Also, Supreme Verdict." Zarvaun said."Damn you." the chipmunk mumbled."Pass." The sergal smiled back."I'll draw." Charlie said, "I'll play Interpret the Signs.""Before you do, Three for dissolve." Zarvaun said as he tapped his mana and discarded the card."Damn it, Zarv!" the chipmunk huffed, "Pass.""So uhh... I'ma just prevent all damage from one of your lands, if that's okay." Zarvaun said as he took the minus counter off his planeswalker. "Also, Six mana for divination and my Mutas become creatures. Swing for Six." "I'm at fourteen." Charlie muttered, "Turn?""Right after I add this Elixir to the field, and pay its ability." "Fluffing- I'm done. So done. Oh my God." Charlie complained."You can always concede, ya know." Zarvaun

reminded the chipmunk."But then I have another game to worry about. I'll see how this goes." Charlie sighed."Your go." The sergal announced."Draw, play a Sigiled Skink. Go." Charlie said with lackluster."Three for dissolve, before my turn." Zarvaun said as he played the card."Okay, now I'm just conceding. This game and next. I need a break from you." Charlie said as we walked off."Aww... But I was having fun!" Zarvaun called after the chipmunk jokingly...