Interview #9: SILVER interviews YOYO from SIMSALA GRIMM
#10 of Furry Fan Interviews!
Interview number nine and Silver is in the doghouse for being held responsible for the last episode's fiasco. And for being derpy. And muddy. Kataze recruits an interviewee from a show that hardly anyone has heard of, because that's how he rolls. We learn that Erik invents things, Silver should growl at politicians, GoPros can be put together in about 30 seconds, and that putting Corgis in boxes results in chaos.
(Silver and Nitro walk into the prep room. Silver is covered in mud.)
SOMBRA: You guys are late...again.
ZIGGO: What happened to Silver?! It's gonna take a miracle to get all that mud out of his fur in time!
NITRO: Well...we went fourwheeling with my Jeep at the Badlands Park in Indiana. It happens.
SOMBRA: Yes, but WHAT happened??
NITRO: Oh. Silver just thought it would be fun to dive into one of the mud pits and roll around. I told him that there was more than mud in those pits, but Silver wouldn't listen.
SILVER: It was STILL fun! :3
(Aniro slaps his forehead)
ANIRO: You stupid...stupid...STUPID DOG!!
SILVER: But yeah now I'm all messy and I stink. Should have thought that through.
NITRO: Yeah one time I fell out and the same thing happened. Took me hours to get it all out, and days to get my curl back up.
ZIGGO: Well that's GREAT! Because we have eleven minutes. And Kataze said that Silver needs to do today's interview and then do a few more, because we all know what happened last time...
(Flashback...)
CRUNCH: NOBODY MESSES WITH PINKY BEAR!!!
(Crunch Bandicoot destroys all the seats in the audience.)
(End Flashback)
SOMBRA: Luckily we got all the chairs back, but it's gonna cost us. And that's why Silver needs to do a handful of interviews until Kataze thinks he has learned his lesson and becomes a better leader.
TOMMYFOX: Why WERE you picked as leader again?
SILVER: Because I-
ZIGGO: No time for chit-chat. This dirty yote needs a bath!
(Silver's eyes widen.)
ANIRO: GRAB THE DOG!!!
(Everyone dogpiles onto Silver. Sounds of coyote yips, barks, and growling can be heard.)
SILVER: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
ANIRO: I got a leg!
NITRO: I got the other one!
ERIK: I got an arm.
SOMBRA: I got another arm!
TOMMYFOX: I got his tail!
SILVER: OW!!
TOMMYFOX: Sorry :3
(Fiesta walks into the prep room)
FIESTA: Hi guys! Sorry I'm late. Are you guys ready to-
(Fiesta sees that Silver is being grabbed by five other furries.)
FIESTA: Oh dear. I did not sign up for this.
TOMMYFOX: Just go in the bathroom and get the water started!
FIESTA: Um...I just remembered...I have...um...a thing...so...bye!
(Fiesta slams the door and screeching tires can be heard)
SILVER: He'll be back.
EVERYONE ELSE: ...
ERIK: Wait! There's no need to put him in the bathtub.
NITRO: There isn't?
(Erik throws a cube onto the floor that morphs into what looks like a giant washing machine)
ERIK: You see...I invented this last night. It washes anything.
TOMMYFOX: Does it wash muddy coyotes?
ERIK: It...should...
SILVER: Um...this looks like this is going to hurt...
ERIK: It shouldn't, really...
NITRO: You sure?
ERIK: Almost positive.
NITRO: Those are good odds.
SOMBRA: So should we just toss him in?
ERIK: Pff. This is 2014. Washi, grab the coyote.
(A giant hand comes out of the machine and grabs Silver-)
SILVER: ARF?!
(Shut up I'm talking! And dumps him into the top of the machine. Silver can be seen by the others through a circular glass window. Silver is already banging, clawing and biting on the window.)
SILVER: Let me out!!! I'll be a clean yote from now on, I promise!
ERIK: Annnnd commense cleaning process, Washi.
(Giant jets of pink and purple soap splash all over Silver.)
SILVER: YIPE!!! MY EYES!!!
(two giant wet sponges enclose Silver.)
SILVER: MMMPH!
NITRO: I thought you said it wouldn't hurt him!
ERIK: Well...no machine is perfect?
(The sponges repeatedly crush Silver and start rotating up and down, scrubbing him.)
SILVER: OW!!!
SOMBRA: You should probably get him out of there...
NITRO: Like NOW would be nice!
ERIK: S-Sorry...I can't...the machine has to go through its process or he'll be trapped in there forever!
(The chamber Silver is in quickly fills with water and empties.)
SILVER: NOT COOL!!
TOMMYFOX: That is one wet yote.
ERIK: Washi, commense drying process.
(Steam billows out of the machine)
SILVER: YIPE!!! IT'S HOT IN HERE AND I CAN'T SEE! HELP HELP HELP!!!
(The steam subsides and hot air blows on Silver.)
SILVER: I hope I don't go-
(Silver's fur puffs out everywhere)
SILVER: ...floof.
WASHI: I HOPE YOUR BATH WAS A MOST HONARABLE EXPERIENCE, MR. COYOTE.
SILVER: %#$*
(The glass circle opens, and Silver slides out)
NITRO: How do you feel?
(Silver gets on all fours and shakes off, returning his fur to normal.)
SILVER: Grr...like I got thrown off a cliff.
NITRO: Ya think it's gonna leave a mark?
SILVER: Several.
NITRO: Damn.
SILVER: And now it's gonna take forever to get my scent back. How are people gonna know I've been around?
NITRO: Yeah.
ANIRO: Dogs...
(Silver gets on all fours and scratches his ear with his foot.)
SILVER: Ugh...so who am I interviewing today?
(Kataze bursts into the prep room.)
KATAZE: Well, my coyote friend...I am GLAD you asked. Because FROM NOW ON...or at least until when I say...I will be the one calling the shots!
SILVER: Okies. So what's my first assignment?
KATAZE: You must interview a character no one has heard of!
SILVER: ...won't that lose viewers?
KATAZE: Silver, I'm so sorry, but I thought I made it clear that I am the one in control here, thank you very much.
SILVER: Fine...so who is it?
KATAZE: He comes from the land of Simsala.
SILVER: ...that's the dumbest thing I've ever-
KATAZE: If you would be SO KIND to shut your yap I will continue. As I was saying, Simsala is the land of Grimm's Fairy Tales, and you can travel to each of them by a book.
SILVER: So...Reading Rainbow meets Adventures From The Book of Virtues meets...Aladdin's Carpet?
KATAZE: You put the "PRE" in "PRECISELY", Silver.
SILVER: What's that supposed to even-
KATAZE: ANYWAYS, here he is now!
(Yoyo enters the prep room. For those that don't know what Yoyo looks like, congratulations! You're not alone. He is a short, skinny, purple weasel/coyote looking thing with a red stocking hat with two flaps that have a jinglebell on each end.)
SILVER: Who are you?
YOYO: Guten tag! Sin des essen nein wind sir jaeger! Sauerbraten schibe volkswagen sauerkraut.
SILVER: Bless you!
KATAZE: Oh, I forgot. Yoyo's show is from Germany. So he only speaks Germanese.
ERIK: Hmm. Was there an English version?
KATAZE: I think so.
ERIK: Hmm. Have him wear this.
(Erik hands Yoyo a green collar. Yoyo puts it on.)
YOYO: I'm Yoyo! The greatest adventurer since...well...ever!
ANIRO (aside): He's certainly confident...
SOMBRA: What did you do, Erik?
ERIK: Translation collar. Sadly, so far it only works if the show has been translated to English.
SILVER: Sweet! Well, I guess it's time we start the show.
NITRO: Gimme a sec. I gotta get the GoPro ready.
ZIGGO: How long does it take?
NITRO: Don't matter. SOME furs take forever, but I can get it done in about thirty seconds.
(Silver and Yoyo exit the prep room and go onto the stage, and Nitro heads out the "audience" door.)
SILVER: Hello and welcome to Furry Fan Interviews! We are just one episode away from number ten! Isn't that exciting?
*crickets*
SILVER: ...I agree. Well with us today is Yoyo from Simsala Grimm.
YOYO: Hiya!
SILVER: So let's get right into the-
NITRO: TWENTY SEVEN SECONDS! WOO DOGGIE!
SILVER: Interview. First question: In the show, you say that you are "The greatest adventurer since, well, ever!" can you explain that?
YOYO: Well, I AM a great adventurer, but I can't say I'm the greatest adventurer ever.
DOC CROC: I KN-N-N-NEW IT!
YOYO: Settle down, Crocky.
DOC CROC: You have been t-t-t-t-telling the kids l-l-l-l-l-lies!
MORTON KOOPA JR: Are you and I bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbrothers?
SILVER (to himself): Not him again...
YOYO: Point is, the writers needed me to say a catchphrase.
SILVER: Catchphrases are fun! :3
YOYO: Yup!
SILVER: Okay, next question: Who was the stuttering red and pink glasses-wearing crocodile you were just talking to?
YOYO: Oh, that's Crocky. He travels with me to all of Grimm's Fairy Tales. He's really smart and stuff but he is a total chicken when it comes to fighting bad guys and saving princesses. That's where I come in, y'know!
SILVER: Cool! Next question is...
*Silver takes a look at Kataze's cue cards*
SILVER: If you are going to all of these fairy tales, where are you from?
YOYO: The library shelf! We're really toys that come to life when the magic book sends us to Simsala, which is where all the fairy tales are!
SILVER: Hmm...that sounds like a dream I had when I ate sausage links with all these fuzzy green and blue spots on it. They didn't taste very good, though. Anyhoo, final question: What animal are you?
YOYO: I don't really know. I think I might be a coyote like you, but I have these little ears that make me look like an otter. I really don't know. Weird, huh?
SILVER: Yup yup. But awshum! Time for audience questions...seat 21!
RANDOM GENERIC FOX: What's with the hat?
YOYO: Oh, this? It's my lucky hat! It has actually helped me in some situations, y'know?
SILVER: Seat 45.
ROCKO (from Rocko's Modern Life): Say, mate, not many people have heard of your show. What d'you think about that?
YOYO: Eh, their loss, I guess.
SILVER: Seat 666. Wait...
BOWSER: Why are you named Yoyo?!
YOYO: Why are you named Bowser?
BOWSER: BECASUSE I'M THE KING OF AWESOME!
YOYO: ...
SILVER: ...
BOWSER: ...
SILVER: Seat 87.
GEICO GECKO: What is your weakness?
YOYO: I'm a bit obnoxious, I guess.
DOC CROC: SP-P-P-P-P-P-POT ON!
SILVER: Well that's all the time we have! Thank you Yoyo for being here!
YOYO: Hey, no problem!
SILVER: Join us next time for our tenth episode!
(Later, Backstage...)
KATAZE: I am VERILY impressed, Silver. That was a great interview.
SILVER: So am I off the hook?
KATAZE: Of COURSE not, Silver...you were awesome, but not "not enough awesome for me to change my mind" awesome.
SILVER: Grr...
KATAZE: Now now, you can growl all you want at politicians. But I am not a politician so that is SLIGHTLY inconsiderate!
TOMMYFOX: How many more interviews does he have to do?
KATAZE: I'm CIRCLING around four.
NITRO: Ain't too bad. Then it's my turn, right?
KATAZE: Not necessarily.
NITRO: Grr...
YOYO: I'd better go before things turn ugly. Sim! Simsala! Simsala Grimm!
(A flying book picks up Yoyo and he flies away)
ERIK: That was awkward.
ANIRO: That WAS.
KATAZE: I'm going to use this moment of awkwardness to escape.
(Kataze tiptoes out the door and screeching tires can be heard afterwards)
TOMMYFOX: What were we talking about?
SOMBRA: I don't know. Stuff.
(Sombra laughs)
TOMMYFOX: Okay. Let's put the Corgi in a box. Ziggo~ !
ZIGGO: No. Not okay. No bueno!
*Everyone else chases Ziggo, with Tommyfox giggling*
FIESTA: Happy Tails. Wait why am I here?
*END*