FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

A/N: Please don't steal my characters! All lyrics in this chapter belong to ModWheelMood and I am not making any money off using it. (And you should all go buy their music because its awesome!)

Nine Inch Claws had just arrived in Oslo, Norway and had the rest of the day off. They were playing at a festival right outside the city the next day, so they all had plenty of time to get ready. For Acara, this meant she had time to go find a planned parenthood.

She couldn't believe she was getting another abortion. When the doctor called to tell her the news she knew she had to get it done. The feline couldn't have a baby; she had to finish school and go get a job. If she got the job she wanted then she'd be traveling all the time, definitely not the right conditions to raise a child. And frankly, she just didn't want to have a baby at the moment. Maybe in a few years, but not when she was 21.

Acara did feel horrible about it. She felt down right evil. The first time she was raped, but this time it was partially her fault. The cat wanted to talk to Hunter or Nathan desperately, but it was 3 in the morning back home. They'd probably yell at her anyway, she hadn't called the entire time she'd been gone. What has it been, a month? She had completely lost track of time, days were meshing together. Being on the road was fun, but it messed with your senses.

"I need to go find this place," the calico cat sighed. They had to be opened by now, and she couldn't waste time. She needed this thing done today. The feline just didn't want to think about it. The longer she knew she was pregnant the worse she felt.

"Hey, Acara are you ok?" Alessandro slipped into her room with out Acara noticing.

'Fuck!' The cat hissed to herself. "Ally, not now, I'm not in the fucking mood." The panda had no idea how to knock. It seemed the nicer he was, the meaner the cat acted to him. She didn't mean to, he was just getting to her.

The musicians face fell, "I just wanted to make sure you were..."

"No! I'm not fucking ok!" Acara hissed. "I'm depressed, I'm angry, and you haven't been giving me any god damn privacy!"

"But I'm wor..."

"I don't care! I need time alone!" The intrusion pushed the feline to her breaking point. "You know what Ally, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place. This was just a bad fucking idea!" The intern looked down and stormed out of the room. She moved so fast that the red panda couldn't see the tears streaming down his face.

Alessandro just stood there, his face covered with shock. Did she just break up with him? He had no idea what just happened. The poor panda knew, however, that it wasn't good. He tried to call out to her but he just couldn't find his voice. Tears began to trickle down his face and he dropped the paper he was holding. It floated slowly to the ground, swaying back and forth in a delicate manor before it landed.

What did he do wrong? All he did was worry about her; all he did was want to make sure the feline was ok. Why would she treat him like he was just making it worse? Sure, he might have been a little over bearing, but he was just so worried that Acara was going to do something stupid. Alessandro sat down on the feline's bed, hoping that she'd walk back though the door and actually talk to him.

After waiting almost two hours, Ally had given up. He was starting to blame himself for this. He thought it was his fault that Acara just couldn't get happy. "I'm not good enough for you..." He mumbled sadly as he left the room. "I'm sorry I failed."

***

Trent Fuzzner sat curled up on his bed thinking. This was a change in pace for him. He would usually be out exploring with Robin or working on some music. But he was doing nothing, and he was unusually sober. But for once the canine realized there were more important things then getting fucked up.

"Acara..." He murmured her name. Now that he could think clearly, he could see something was undoubtedly wrong with her. It seemed she was mad at him ever since she arrived in Los Angeles, and he had absolutely no idea why. Even before he started in with her, she just had an attitude toward him. And then the morning after they had sex, she said, 'Again.' That was what really boggled his mind. Again? Trent couldn't recall meeting her before.

What was bothering the Weimaraner the most was what Alessandro was talking about the other day. Those cravings the feline was getting, that wasn't normal. Trent didn't understand how he was the only one to pick up on it. "I need to talk to her," he growled to himself. He knew that, he knew that for a wile. It wasn't like he hasn't tried. He has, and a brick wall met him each time. She wanted nothing to do with him. But if what the canine thought was true...

Trent stood up and walked to the door. He had to talk to her; he didn't care what it took. The canine wanted to tell Acara that he was sorry for fucking around with her, he was sorry for that night in the bar, he was sorry for whatever else he did. He really did appreciate her, the cat did good work. Trent wanted to tell her that too. Hell, he just wanted to see her smile for once. The dog had his mind made up. He stepped out of his room and walked down the hall, this had to be done.

At the same time Trent was walking, Acara had just walked out of the elevator with a scowl on her face. They wanted her to wait a day and get it done tomorrow. She knew she wanted it, why would they make her wait to deal with it all even longer. The feline hissed, and that what drew the canine's attention to her. "Acara?" She heard the familiar voice call out. The feline started walking faster to her room, no, she couldn't talk to him. "Acara, wait!" She had to walk faster! The feline's ears twitched when she heard his foot-paws pattering after her on the floor.

"Go away!" She hissed as she broke out into a full out run for her hotel room. She couldn't face him. The feline hated him, but for some reason at the moment she was more scared. She had no idea why he was coming after her and every reason she thought of was not pleasant. Acara struggled with her key, trying to get the door opened and get inside before the canine could catch up. She heard the click of the key, threw the door open and ran inside slamming the door, except it just wouldn't close. Terrified, the calico cat saw a paw just managing to hold the door opened. "Get the fuck away from me!" She hissed, her fur standing up on end.

"I...I need to talk to you! Please just let me in!" Trent begged. He wasn't going to give up, the canine needed to do this before he lost his nerve, but the cat was not making this easy. He gave one good push on the door, causing the feline to lose her grip and fall back, giving the dog enough time to step in then close and lock the door behind him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He spoke lowly and nervously. "I just need to talk to you. I'll stay right here, I won't come near you." He kept himself backed against the door. His words did not seem to calm the cat down. Acara backed away to the opposite side of the room. He could see her trembling, her eyes wide with fear, her fur all disheveled, and her claws out and ready. "Just, can you just hear me out?" He pleaded.

"Get out!" She spat. Trent noticed the cat was actually trembling. "I don't want to talk to you! Go away!" Her tail was tucked tightly between her legs and her ears pressed flat back against her hair.

Trent sighed, almost ready to give up. He took a deep breath and just started speaking. "I wanted to say sorry. I don't know what I did to make you so mad at me early on, but I wanted to apologize for it." Somehow he started to feel better doing this, the words started to just flow. "I shouldn't have taken advantage of you when you were drunk, and I'm sorry for that too. I... I really appreciate all the work you've done for the band, and I know the rest of us do too." He took a deep breath, "And, Alessandro was talking about how you were acting weird. I uh... I was wondering if you were..."

The look on the felines face was enough to answer his question. She was crying now, and the canine desperately wished he could do something. He opened his muzzle to say something, but then Acara just snapped. "This is all your fucking fault!" Her voice sounded like a plea and a scream. "Again! I have to fucking do this again! It was horrible the first time, and now... now..." The cat's knees buckled and she fell to her knees.

She said that word, "What do you mean again?" The dog's tail quivered, almost afraid of the answer.

This seemed to be the worst possible thing to say to her. The cat froze, and then slowly looked up, her green eyes boring into his. "What do I mean again?" She hissed. "Maybe if you weren't drunk all the time you'd remember the fact that you raped me!" Trent's eyes went wide and he went to speak out in protest, but Acara wouldn't let him. "No, don't fucking say anything!" She screamed, "You don't fucking remember a god damn thing! After the Boston show, I found you walking around drunk off your goddamn ass. Took you back to my apartment cause you wanted to fucking... I don't even know!" Her voice started to calm down, but she was still crying. "You started in with me. I was fucking star struck, I loved you, and you were my fucking idol so I let you. Then... I started freaking out; I didn't want to do it anymore. And do you remember what you said? You said, 'To bad!'"

"I..." Trent looked down. Everything after that show was a blur. He vaguely remembered waking up in a random bed, getting dressed, and heading back to the bus. "I..."

Acara didn't even hear him speaking, "And then you know what happened? I found out I was pregnant! I was fucking pregnant! And I had to get an abortion because I couldn't raise a kid! So then what happens? I'm stupid and I let you fuck me again because I just don't know any better... and now I'm pregnant again and I have to get another one..."

Trent really didn't know what to say now. He felt horrible, he didn't know, he couldn't believe that's what happened. Acara had all the right in the world to be mad at him. He hung his head and tail low. "I..." He tried to get some words out. "Don't... don't get the abortion." He managed to say. "I'll help you take care of it. I'll..."

"You'll what?" The cat was managing to calm down. Her tears have stopped and she was back on her feet. "Feed it cocaine?"

Another slap in the face. "No I'll... I'll stop. I'll go to rehab. I want you to keep it. I want to make this all better. I..." For some reason he desperately wanted her to have the child. He didn't know why, but it pulled at his heart.

"Fuck you!" She growled. "Why would I even trust anything you say?" She turned away from him and held her head in her hands. The feline was exhausted, she just wanted to sleep, and she really wanted to just get the dog out of her room.

"Because!" Trent was getting nowhere. "I didn't know what happened. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say to you! I know me saying this shit isn't going to help the situation, but I really want to make this better!"

"There's nothing to say." Why wouldn't he just quit already? "There's nothing to make this better. I'm not keeping the baby." She said again. Acara was getting her bearings back; her anger was starting to become rather apparent.

Now it was Trent who was starting to lose control, "God damn it Acara!" He growled. "Why won't you fucking listen to a word I'm saying? I'm trying here! I'm really fucking trying! I haven't taken anything all day, my body is starting to crave it," sure enough he was trembling. "I'm willing to stop this. I know it's a problem. Everyone knows this is a fucking problem. I'm trying to help you; I'm trying to fix this whole goddamn mess I started. Why won't you just give me a fucking chance?"

Acara shook her head and turned toward him. "Trent... please, just go." She was holding her forehead, it was throbbing.

"Fine. Fuck this. Forget I even tried." Trent gave her a harsh glare then left, slamming the door behind him.

The feline sighed and made her way to the bed, laying down and curling up into a ball. This was the last thing she needed, Trent knowing she was pregnant. She whined, her tail quivering. What should she do now? Her mind was racing; she couldn't hang on to any one thought. "I have to get the abortion. I have to." She had to, but she didn't want to. The feline didn't want to take away another life because of her stupidity.

Acara laid there for the hours, trying to figure out what to do. But she ended up coming to no conclusion. She had cried, screamed, and then cried again. She was absolutely confused. Part of her, deep down, wanted to be responsible, it told her to try and give the Weimaraner a chance. Talk to him, work something out. But Acara just couldn't let go of what had happened.

The feline stood up and started pacing the small hotel room. "Fuck." She growled. The cat heard a crinkle when she was moving about and looked down. There was a paper on the floor. "What's this?" She picked it up and sighed. It was Ally's handwriting. She started to read it and her eyes went wide.

'Acara,

I know you'll be mad at me, but I saw your diary opened and saw some lyrics you wrote. I really liked them so I copied them down and wrote a full song. I wanted to see what you thought, and if you'd give me permission to record it.

Thanks, Love!'

Below it were the song lyrics:

'Look at me and turn it into tragedy.

Can't believe its happening.

Not alive but I'm breathing.

Everyday I'm in a cage.

Everything is going though the changes.

Promises, the reason to this argument.

Unable to deny the fact.

No one comes to this extent,

To look for something

Better then the one before.

Everyone is scared of all the changes.

Relax. There's always someone else,

Who finds the time it takes

To find another way to learn to crawl.

Better days are here to stay.

Everyone is counting on the changes.

Regret. There's always someone else,

Who finds the time it takes

To find another way to learn to crawl.

Better days are here to stay.

Everyone is counting on the changes.'