FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Maybe I'm not Such a F*ck Up

Perfect white snow danced in the darkness of night occasionally falling against the window of the dorm room dampening the glass with each new flake. On the other side of the glass the further he went the more the words seemed like gibberish, "Grh FUCK THIS SHIT!" The Polar Bear swore throwing his textbooks to the ground. His roommate Tj didn't move, the roadrunner knew not to get in the bear's way when he was like this. "Stepping outside for a few." The bear growled as he picked up his Id, a couple water bottles, and his phone storming out of the dorm room with a hoodie wrapped around his neck. The polar bear walked out the doors and down the small walkway to a table under a tree where he sat and brewed. Finals week started in a few days and the bear was not ready. Math he was good on but chemistry and bio were right over his head and he felt like he was drowning. The 6'3 fit polar bear never was a straight A student usually B's but he felt like he was going to fail this semester.

Helpless, didn't even begin to describe how he felt. He was never one to accept defeat, he always hated failure, but this time failure was looking like his only option. He savagely ripped out a water bottle from his hoodie pocket angrily twisting it open and drinking. The only light came from the streetlight a few yards away looking at the light the bear could see the snow dance in the light without a care in the world meanwhile each flake grew closer to the ground. The bear chuckled at his own dark metaphor; the snow was just as fucked as he was. He sat on top of the table watching the snowfall covering the campus in a white blanket it had been a brutal winter, and despite it being late April snow was falling. He sat there trying his best to forget the worries he had about his classes, he would often come outside like this when the stress was too much for him. It was quite, no one came around this side of the campus unless they lived in the same dorm as him, and this late at night no one was going to be strolling by to ask him why he's sitting in the cold with only a dark expression and a light hoodie. It may be snowing but he was fine being a polar bear he liked the cold and was used to it, the weather was only 15 degrees and to him it was nothing.

+/-

The bear had been sitting outside for close to twenty minutes already, his shoulders and head were covered in snow. He sighed heavily "I'm such a fuck up. Going to fucking fail, and then I'm going to be so screwed when it comes to next semester...why do exams have to count for fucking everything they don't show shit about what we learned." The polar bear vented looking to the sky "Can't you give me one fucking break?"

"Stop beating yourself up and sure I'll give you one." A voice called from behind him. The Polar Bear whipped around to see a fox leaning against the brick wall behind him. She was about average height 5'4, slim figure, she had a build with longer legs than others, and a toothy smile, she was in a heavy winter coat and a hat with gloves. She sauntered over and sat herself down next to the snow-covered bear extending her paw "I don't think we've properly met, Morgan." He shook it

"Steven, what're doing out here?" he asked

"Same thing as you, wanted some air, bit chilly out here don't you think?"

"Meh not really helps being bred to live in this shit." They both laughed at the bad humor.

"You don't remember me do you?" Morgan asked, Steve sat there with a dumb look on his face trying to recall where he may have seen her before.

"No, I'm sorry." He apologized and before he could say anything else she put a gloved finger to his lips

"Don't apologize you really helped me out at the beginning of the semester. I was in your bio class." She started " I sat next to you for the first couple of classes, you gave me some great advice those few classes I think I learned more in two classes from you than I did in my three years here." He was racking his brain but for the life of him, Steve couldn't remember the fox. "What year are you?"

"Freshman."

"Bull shit!" she quickly responded giving him a light shove

"No bull shit here, I'm only 19."

"Well you're pretty smart for a young bull." The two sat there in the silence of the night. Until finally Morgan broke the silence "You really don't remember me do you?"

With a heavy sigh Steve looked at fox "No, I really don't sor-"

"What did I say about apologizing? It's ok, mind if I have that water bottle though?" she asked pointing the extra bottle in his pocket, Steve nodded handing it to her. Once again the two sat there enjoying the quite of a snowy night, but Steve was feeling a bit nervous

What is with this fox? He wondered Why does she think I should know her?

As if she was reading his mind Morgan looked him "At the beginning of the semester I went to one of those parties on college ave, my friends left me and a guy tried to get me to do things I really didn't want to. I left the party and was wandering the streets for a little bit completely lost." That's when it all came back to Steve

"I saw you just on the side walk aimlessly walking around, you must've walked by my buddies place four times when I started taking notice. I went out to make sure you were ok and you just had a sad look on your face and a thousand yard stare in your eyes. Every time I asked if you were ok you didn't answer and when I asked where you lived you said Davey A. I picked you up and carried you to the bus stop and then from there back to your dorm where your friends took you. Shit how did I not remember it was you?"

Morgan nodded "It's ok, most of that night I tried to forget except for when you showed up, I always look back at that with a smile on my face. After the assholes I was dealing with it was...comforting to see someone who gave a damn about others, then you taught me to just relax during bio so I didn't stress myself to death. So I wanted to say thank-you, I've been meaning to come and talk to you when you've been out here, but by the time I get the courage you leave."

We both sat there letting the silence have its place "So thank-you for giving a damn and for helping me, and please don't beat yourself up about anything." She leaned in and gave the Polar bear a kiss of thanks catching him off guard, but he didn't move. Then their lips parted "You're a perfect guy." Then she slipped him a piece of paper "Thanks for helping me, and thanks for the water, text me sometime." She called as she walked back into her dorm. Steve opened up the piece of paper it had a phone number on it her's he assumed, and a note written below it

To the Polar Bear who got me back home,

I don't know if there is a way I can properly thank-you for what you did but thank-you. It may not seem like much but just having a complete stranger like you watch over me like a guardian angel meant a lot. Last night was one big shit storm but you made the storm bearable. I hope I can thank-you in person but if not just know that you will always be considered a great friend to me, and maybe more if you want. Text or call me sometime, I could really use someone like you in my life.

_ -Morgan (the spaced out fox girl lol) <3_

Steve laughed to himself reading the note again, and again. Maybe he wasn't such a fuck up after all.

Hey everybody sorry for the hiatus school was a bitch. This was something that really happened to me this year it was late around 1 am when it all went down I really just needed some cheering up and" Morgan" was there to help me. I changed our names around because I felt like it, but everything else was close to word for word. That night is something I will remember for a long time.

Just know that no matter what you're going through right now someone else is just as bad if not worse and even something as small as a smile and wave to them could have a huge impact. Just remember it's all good and life moves on.

And Yes I am still working on Let Slip the Hounds of War just been busy lately.

Thanks for reading

-Brick