01-Daniel
#2 of Daniel
Daniel - By Salvar Fawkes
Inspired by Elton John's song of the same name.
Author's Note: This is the second and final released version of this story--the first is little different and long gone. If you find any errors, or have any questions, compliments, or constructive criticism, please e-mail me with the name of the story in the subject line (filtering=safety). Thank you for reading.
Daniel
The lonely mouse sat on a stool, head down, unaware of the many enthusiastic furs around him. The swirling motion of the amber liquid in his glass reflected on his deep green eyes, before he drained it, the tip of his tail flicking. He tried in vain to concentrate, his mind swimming with heavy thoughts and heavy liquor. Shaking his head, he stood up slowly.
"It's no good. There's just no way around it." His head rose, and he walked out, the expression in his eyes looking crushed, but determined, and more sad than not. "Nothing... nothing is easy anymore," he sighed, and, shutting the door behind him with a light sob, walked slowly through the cold night. His step was light, almost graceful, burdened as it was with the crushing weight of dead dreams.
He had small, neat ears, and silky gray fur. His tail curled round his feet, a little soft fuzz poking out of the scaly dry skin. The red jacket he wore hung on him mournfully, a bit large for him, as it was sized for a rat. A well-intentioned gift. Still, it was a cold night, and it was the only jacket he owned.
The wind picked up, rippling past his jacket and his thin fur, and he bared his teeth at it, as if to challenge the elements to only increase their fury. As he approached the bridge his breathing was labored with grief. Almost absentmindedly he picked up pawfuls of small rocks, carefully zippering them up securely in his pockets. Soon it began to slip off, and he zipped it tightly up the front, continuing onward. Each step was like walking uphill--slow and taxing, but steady. His whole mind was bent only to the task of each next step, the footfalls echoing in his ears.
When he reached the center of the bridge, he stopped and looked down. The only illumination was a single shaft of moonlight, striking down like an arrow to shatter on the river's glistening surface. The black waves pulsed past with a small murmur that did no justice to the turbulent forces beneath. A tiny star fell forth from his eye, and it seemed to him that as it hit, he could see it's continued path, flying about underneath the surface, the very image of freedom.
He sat down on the rail with his head hung low, his shoulders rising and falling slowly. He looked up with a wry smile into the face of the sky. "Sorry, God. Guess we can't all be stars..." he said, and let himself fall back, his arms flung out to either side.
He suddenly felt a pressure on his shoulders, and before he could react he was up on his feet, being comforted in another's warm embrace. He was breathing hard and fast from the shock, incredulous that his last refuge should be so rudely torn from his grasp. Soon he could do nothing but weep, pressing his face into the creature's softly warm chestfur with loud, wracking sobs. All his determination was coursing down his face and soaking into this strange fur's clothing.
After about ten minutes, he pulled away. "Who...?" He was unable to finish the sentence, merely looking up into this stranger's eyes with a pleading expression. The stranger was a medium-sized male mouse with gray fur and a caring face. He saw that he had been crying, too, small lines of darkened fur trickling down from his strangely calm, green eyes.
"Daniel." he said simply.
"He knows my name?" he thought quickly, but paid it no mind. "Yes?" he replied meekly.
This elicited a fleeting smile. "No," he said, "My name is Daniel." With that, he walked off into the shadows, leaving the smaller mouse's emotions in pieces.
"Daniel..." The young mouse turned back to the bridge and looked down once again. It seemed to him that the river had lost it's magic. Now it was just water, just death. A death that at this point was no longer desirable. With a blank face he turned away, and wandered home.
* * * * *
All Daniel could do was smile as he looked down at the pleasant face below him. It seemed to have solid features, but if anyone asked, he would realize he had no idea what it looked like. He found himself lying on the bare chest of another male, but it didn't bother him. All he could feel was compassion.
They were stroking each other, softly, passionately, their paws roaming anywhere and everywhere. He ran one finger up the length of the other's shaft, and was suddenly pulled into a deep kiss. He pushed his muzzle closer, their tongues dancing. The scents he was getting were intoxicating, and his member was already rock-hard, and covered in lubricant. The other fur bit his bottom lip as Daniel slowly pushed his way inward.
Strangely, Daniel felt nothing. As he pushed ever further in, the figure underneath him faded away. There was something there when he pushed against him, but as much as he touched him he felt nothing. Suddenly, his paw fell through empty air to land on the empty bed, and Daniel opened his eyes.
Too depressed to move, all he could do was lie there, hot tears swelling and finally dripping down onto the pillow. He cried for the beauty of it all, and the fact that he was cursed to regard it as such. "It's not right..." he thought. "I want it... but I don't want to want it!"
Even now he imagined he could feel a paw stroking his head. He raised his arm to bat away his ghosts, when, with a start, he felt a warm, living paw there!
He whipped around, tangling the sheets, and saw Daniel there, looking down on him like a father. Frightened, he reached for the letter opener he knew was on his bedside table, getting his arm caught in the blankets. The larger mouse held up the dull blade for inspection.
Frightened now, he could only stare up at the ominous figure. "What do you want?"
He set the letter opener down, out of reach of the little mouse. "I can't have you hurting me, now. You need my help."
"I've already seen your idea of help. You 'saved' me." He darted back, with a sardonic note in his voice.
He sighed. "No, I didn't save you. I stopped you, yes, but as for saving you... well, that starts now."
"What are you, a minister?"
He thought about this for a few moments. "In a sense." He replied, shifting his weight and turning his gaze back to the young mouse. "I've come to help you through a difficult time. I know why you don't want to go on."
Too frightened and despondent to reply, all he could do was hide his face in shame, trying not to let this strong figure drive him to tears once more.
The older mouse softened slightly, letting a little of his tenderness show. "Please, don't be afraid. It's not going to be easy on you, but please remember I don't want to hurt you."
He reached out a paw to comfort him, then thought better of it. "I'll say it simply: you had a very religious past, and your family depended on you. You should have left when you had the chance, but you couldn't run away from what you thought was your responsibility, so you stayed. You accepted suffering as a fact of life, only to be endured, never to be conquered. Among the beliefs that you forced on yourself was the acceptance of homosexuality as wrong. A scourge to be wiped out, a sign of the last days. A curse..." His voice faded off. The young mouse's fear-stricken eyes were riveted to his now, tears starting to trickle once again over his muzzle. The large figure straightened up.
"Now," he continued, "we come to the last few weeks. You began to realize that you get no pleasure out of being with a female. You aren't interested in anything anymore--neither the pious, god-fearing lifestyle of your youth, nor the lewd, woman-chasing activities of your 'peers.' Then, you start having dreams. Dreams of love, of passion. Dreams of you making love to a male..."
"Stop!" He shook his head madly. "I can't stand it! How do you know all this?"
The elder mouse bent down until their noses were almost touching. "Because," he began slowly, "I am you."
He scooted back over the bed, backing up until he touched the wall. His eyes were wide, and his breathing came in short gasps. The other mouse continued. "I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. I could waste all night trying to explain the mechanics, and the paradoxes, but it's not worth my time, so let me just explain the why. I came to save myself, and to save time. You see, my past is painful. On this very night, I almost succeeded in killing myself. I was saved by the chance presence of a river otter, but still spent a month in the hospital, where I was assigned professional help. It was only nearly a year after I was released that I finally realized my mistake. You need to accept who you are, and embrace it. At my point in time, I have a good job, a comfortable house, and... a lover. I'm happy.
"Even after I realized it, though, it was still too late to heal the damage. My mistake scarred me, physically and mentally, scars that will never heal. I've come to save you from much trauma, but I can't do it alone. I need your cooperation." With that he reached out and gently stroked Daniel's head. At first he winced away from the touch, but then just hung his head.
After a while, and a few deep breaths, he looked up. "Prove it."
"Can't you tell the resemblance?" He waited a few moments for a response, but when he got none, he began unbuckling his belt. "You have a scar on the outside of your left thigh. You got it at seven, trying to drain hot grease." As he pulled down his pants, they could both see the blotchy bald spot on his leg. "No imposter would go as far as to burn himself this badly. It still hurts, occasionally."
He just stared, for a while. With a start he realized that he could see this creature's beautiful maleness, and he winced, trying to look away. "I think I actually believe you." He stared straight upward, leaning his head against the wall. "I know I can have faith in myself, if anyone," he said to himself. "What do you plan to do?" He was getting a little uncomfortable, as his older self had gotten up to sit on the bed.
"You need to accept that you aren't normal. You also need to learn that this doesn't make you any more or less of a person. You need the strength not to reject your longings. The touch of a male is what you want, and you need to learn to love it." By this time he had moved closer, until they were just feet apart, face to face. They froze in this position, looking deep into each other's eyes. He put out a paw to rest lightly on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. "You need to learn to love..." he said, and kissed him. He tried to push away, but his arms wouldn't respond. All he could do was go limp, as all his dreams--or nightmares--started to come to life. For a few agonizingly blissful moments he felt complete. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the kiss stopped. He looked up with glassy eyes, and they stared, dreaming for a few moments more. The older mouse shook his head.
"It's not this simple. I can't just do this to you. You have to take the first step. You need to openly want it, and not be afraid to ask." He looked at his small self, whose face was a study in indecision.
"But... I can't! I want it, but I can't just... I don't have the strength!"
"You do! You have to ask me, you can never just assume that I know. You have to find the strength to tell me what you want. I know it's there."
"I..." Visibly struggling with himself, the young mouse appeared to come to a decision. Slowly, with shaky, uncertain movements, he turned around and got on his hands and knees. For a moment he just sat there, with his head in his hands. Then, with a painful sigh, he lowered his pants, presenting himself. His head rose up, his face set in grim determination, ready and aware of what was to come.
He could see the perfectly shaped scrotum being hugged tightly to the small mouse's body, and his tight tailhole, pink and quivering with anticipation. "What do you want me to do?" he asked. "You have to tell me outright."
He trembled, barely able to force a reply, and all his fur stood on end. "I want... oh, god..." his back arched and his eyes squeezed shut. Taking a few deep breaths, he continued. "I... I want you inside of me! Please..." he trailed off, deeply shaken. The older mouse looked pleased, and reached out to run a paw down the other's back softly. "Take me..." Daniel breathed.
"Good, good," he cooed, "It's all right, it's okay." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of baby oil; he squirted some into his palm, still muttering soothing words into the young one's ear. Slowly he lifted his stiffening member and began putting the lubrication onto it with long, steady strokes, trying not to linger. He didn't want to leave his younger self waiting. That task finished, he took a little more on two fingers and started gently massaging the little mouse's tailhole, making him groan. He could feel the slick surface pulse under his fingers and spread outward, willingly opening itself to him. He pushed a finger in the tiniest bit to lubricate him inside, wanting to ease the passage as much as possible. Shedding the rest of his clothes, he got up, and bent over the trembling figure beneath him. He heard a small whimper as the tip of his cock just touched the center of his tight, pink ring.
"Don't worry," he whispered, "This is what you've always wanted. Remember, I really am just... you. I'll go slowly, and I'll be gentle. Are you ready?" The small mouse nodded silently, a single tear staining his fur. "It's going to hurt a little at first, but it will pass. Just stay relaxed, and try to enjoy it." He crossed his arms over the other's chest, hugging him tightly. Then, kissing him a few times on the back of his neck, he slowly pushed in.
The younger mouse let out a small squeak as he felt himself being stretched open. His mind rebelled at the pleasure he was feeling, but he tried to do as his new mentor had told him. With much effort, he tried to concentrate on the pleasure. The way it slid so smoothly, so effortlessly into him... "No!" The feeling of being protected, of being filled... "Remember, it's only me... A wiser me... I would never let myself do anything wrong." "Ohh... It feels so good..."
His protector smiled. Steadily he thrust, until his hips were flush with the other's tail, their scrotums touching. He rubbed his paws up and down his lover's chest, scratching at the sensitive area below the navel. He held the position a while longer, waiting for his inexperienced self to get used to the sensation of being taken, and feeling the heat from his bowels soak into him. From his completely submissive position, the younger mouse thought he had never been so bold. "I've never felt this warm, or safe before, either..." he thought to himself. The strong meat inside him was pulsing with lust, but the mind controlling it was giving only love. He felt so wonderful, and might have just drifted off to sleep, resting safely in the arms of his lover, if it were not for the raging pressure in his balls. This is what he had always dreamed of, and the guiltless feeling of his dream coming true was getting him immensely turned on. He wanted to continue.
"This is bliss!" He sighed contentedly. "I've never felt so free. Please keep going. Don't stop."
"It gets even better." The large figure on top of him began to move backwards slowly, and he could feel the throbbing flesh slide past his inner walls. It almost flowed out; it felt so wet and slippery. The sense of loss was so profound it almost seemed to cripple him. He gasped, and gasped again as it was slipped back in. A few more times it was thrust in and out before he got the feel for it, and it felt as if all the friction was gone. The only thing left was the feeling of it sliding back and forth, and of being filled over and over again.
The mentor wanted to make sure his young self was doing all right, as he set up a steady rhythm. "Does it hurt at all? Are you happy?"
"No, I feel fine," he replied, a bit impatiently. "I feel better than I've ever felt--" He broke off and gripped the sides of the mattress, squeezing down tightly on his lover's cock. "Ohh! Don't stop!"
The older mouse smiled. "I think I owe you this," he said as he reached down and grabbed the small mouse's member. Instantly the mouse was humping into his paw, which was still covered in lubricant. He started caressing it, occasionally squeezing it hard and feeling it grow, slipping easily through the sparse fur on his paw. He gently massaged it, moving his paw up and down, and clenched his fist in an expertly peristaltic motion that caused him to wriggle on the sheets in ecstasy.
From the heat and intensity of the contractions on his penis, the large mouse could tell that his partner would come off soon, and he wanted to make sure that the last one to cum was the one that needed it more. He usually took it a lot longer, but he didn't want to keep working this one after he was already through. With that thought, he started humping faster, driving his excitement up as fast as he could. Very quickly he was on the brink of orgasm, and he felt it was only fair to warn his lover. He slowed down, to give him just enough time to speak.
"I'm... I'm going to cum into you now," he panted, breathing hard. "Get ready..." The young mouse had no time to reply before his partner gave one huge thrust, impaling him on his entire length, and suddenly he was being filled up with hot, thick semen. He could feel it flowing up through his bowels, feeling sticky and almost boiling. The other mouse was now completely rigid on top of him, quivering a bit with each spurt.
Feeling so much heat going so deep inside him was just too much for the inexperienced young mouse, and he began to feel the pressure in his balls move up the length of his cock. Suddenly he spasmed, pulling the sheets off the bed as he sprayed them with his seed. The other mouse was prepared for this, and was able to hold him tight until his orgasm subsided. After a few more weak thrusts, the small mouse collapsed and lay there panting, in a puddle of his own seed, with his male lover still buried inside of him. The details of the situation were not lost on him, but he didn't feel wrong anymore. All he could feel was love and warmth.
Before his young self could lose consciousness fully, Daniel spoke to him, holding his head gently in his soft paws. "Even knowing me," he said slowly, "I'm still surprised how fast you came to accept this. I hope you're alright..." He spoke these last words to the air, his gaze losing focus. His younger self looked up at him questioningly, breaking his reverie, and he looked back at him. "Good luck, Daniel."
The small mouse was confused at the parting tone his mentor used, but didn't have time to think on it before he was kissed again, deeply and passionately. Gradually he put it out of mind, as he let himself be slowly caressed and coaxed into sleep.
* * * * *
Alone on a neatly made bed, a small mouse of about 20 slowly opened his eyes. Contented, it seemed, for the first time in years, he rolled over to drape an arm over the first male he dared to love. Feeling nothing, he sat up and looked around. His jacket was draped over a chair, still filled with rocks, a depressing reminder of how broken he had been only hours ago. The letter opener was on the bedside table, the sheets were straight, and there were no stains anywhere. With a mind-numbing shock, he realized that it had been just another dream.
"It was so real... so beautiful..." he thought, depression starting to sink in. "All of it... gone? Was there any truth in it at all?" He battled with himself to come to terms with the crushing reality. It was a losing battle. Slowly he sank down into a corner and cried. "Why do the dreams always have to be so beautiful?"
He stayed there for hours. When he finally had the strength to stand, his mind was blank. He slumped about the flat, saying nothing, doing nothing. The entire day he spent in silence, until at twilight he walked out the door. He had reached no decision, he just left. The road stretched out beyond the city, through lonely stretches of desert and windy pastures. This road he followed.
On the outskirts of the city, he stopped, just as the stars were beginning to peer through the darkening sky. In front of him lay the road, stretching away through the dry hills. That was the road he would walk, walk until he tired, and collapsed of exhaustion. Behind him lay his life, everything he had known, everything that had crushed him. Behind him lay the dreams. To his left, only a sea of desert, flowing down and past the horizon.
Then, when he looked to his right, he saw something he didn't expect to see--a chain link fence, enclosing an airport runway. He was about to turn, and continue walking, when a familiar face caught his eye. In one of the windows of an airplane was a gray head with small, neat ears and strangely calm, green eyes. "Oh god... It looks like Daniel..."
In one motion the last of his hope burst out of him, and he clung to the fence, looking as hard as he could, trying to see past the rain clouds that had quickly formed in his eyes. Slowly at first, then quicker as he realized who was there, the passenger turned his gaze towards the young Daniel. He was exultant, even having to reach up and wipe a few tears of joy from the corner of his eye. Evidently he had been expecting this, and he winked at Daniel, gesturing with his head back in the direction the city. When Daniel turned, he saw a slightly larger male mouse, who unexpectedly winked also. Looking back, he saw the passenger smile widely, just before the plane took off.
Daniel clung closer to the fence to get one last good look at the fur that had saved his life, and given him something to live for. Peering forward, he could see in the now-tiny window the silhouette of Daniel waving goodbye. He waved back, his mouth silently moving to breath the word goodbye. Looking thoughtfully at the other mouse for a moment, he smiled, turning around to approach him. By the time he reached him, the plane had shrunk so far into the distance that it was just another twinkling dot--a star in the face of the sky.