Stuck in Orbit Chapter 1

Story by BAYOKKO on SoFurry

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#1 of Stuck in Orbit

Story Title: Stuck in Orbit

Rating: MA

Fandom: Original

Warnings: Anal, Oral, Violence (Not in sex), Chubby, Anthropomorphic.

Life isn't exactly a piece of cake for "Captain" Barnabus Comet. He's over forty, developing a beer belly, and the captain of a ship which is so old it's nearly falling apart. He won't let any of these things get to him however, because he firmly believes that he's living out his dream of being a legendary space hero by being a "Jack-of-all-trades"! Professional handymen that take any job for whatever pay they can get and the love of adventure. Unfortunately for Barnabus he isn't exactly the most successful "Jack" around. But his luck changes one day when he meets and elderly archaeologist who offers him an easy mission that could not only turn Barnabus into the space ace he's always wanted to be but make him filthy rich in the process. With little thought the offer is quickly accepted and together with his crew Barnabus imminently takes off for the far away and primitive planet Verdomo.


CHAPTER 1

[The human race has come a long way in a thousand years. Once we were a petty species of apes who thought we were the center of the universe, confined to our home planet and afraid of the unknown. But now... we've changed. In the last millennium we've taken to the stars in search of new discoveries, new ideals, and countless unknown worlds. It was during this great exploration that we have discovered we are not alone out there. That earth is only one of many, many worlds that are the homes to a multitude of other species. Aliens big and small, simple and complex, strangely familiar and some so completely bizarre that they would leave you speechless. There were cultural differences to be sure. Awkward first meeting and a few pointless scuffles. Through it all however we've learned to live in peace with all these other beings and together we've ushered in a new age of prosperity and technological wonders.

But... not everything in this brave new world is so great. There are some creatures out there who still don't want to play nice. Creatures of pure malice and arrogance who will do anything in their dark power to stomp out what we have created for fear of what together we could become. It is when these hostiles rise up from the depths of space to strike that there is a need for a savior! A hero... a hero who will always get results, who will take out these bad guys with just a pocket knife and a can-do attitude, A man who is so studly and handsome that every guy falls to his feet in worship of his good looks and strength!

Who is this person I speak of you ask me? This golden idol of such daring-do? Why he is none other than... the wondrous... the fantastic... the handsome, I can't stress that part enough! He's handsome, got it!? ... ... Good! Well, It's none other than BARNABUS COMET!! Space hero extraordinaire and part time Jack Captain!!]

Blaring alarms rang out through the large and sinister looking stronghold that day. The commotion causing the creatures within, a grotesque and savage race of beetle-like aliens called the Beestje, to spring into action at the knowledge that their hidden fortress had been invaded by some unknown enemy. Barking out commands in their strange clicking language, the guard captains and generals ordered their men to quickly find whomever was fool hardy enough to encroach in their territory and kill them in the most brutal of ways. They would teach this intruder to dare break into their HQ.

Of course none of these dimwitted and fowl creatures would find this mysterious trespasser however. Because you see the man who had bravely invaded the fortress was way too smart to be captured that easily by some low paid guard. As he had stealthily made his way into the stronghold he had carefully avoided the guards posted at the entrances and made his entry through the long and twisting air ducts which crisscrossed through the imposing building. Slowly and surly making his way deeper into the Beestje as the stupid bugs searched in vain for his person.

Stopping at a grate, the cramped man watched as a pair of guards mumbled to each other about having to look for an intruder when it was most likely a false alarm as they walked under him. 'You just keep thinking that pals.' The man smirked. 'It'll only make it easier for me to slip in and out before you know what's happened.'

Realizing that he needed a little more room to move around and that the hallway under him was now empty the man gave a grunt and with one powerful kick dislodged the air vent grate and jumped down to the floor with perfect precision and nary a sound. Standing slowly, the dim light to illuminating his features. The intruder was a human male, his extremely muscular build and cocky stance giving him an air of bustling masculinity. While his short cropped dark brown hair, matching goatee and well-worn clothing gave him a certain roguish charm that had swooned many a woman... and man.

Glancing up and down the corridor the man checked one more time for any sign of guards and then pulled out a small device which presented a red arrow that pointed down the hall. "Come on Kiddo where are you?"" He mumbled to himself as he waited. When a flashing arrow appeared on the screen he let out a relieved sigh. "Gotcha!"

Glancing around he gave his goatee a quick scratch thinking for a few moments of the best course of actions he should take now that he had found his target, he could go back into the vents and make his way to where the arrow was pointing but what fun would that be? With a carefree chuckle he took off down the corridor at top speed. Why over think things? He'd outsmarted the Beestje after all and besides he needed to hurry and reach his objective, the charge he had set only a short time ago would detonate in less than ten minutes.

His plan for a speedy mission didn't go a well as they did in his mind however, because as soon as this man rounded a corner he found himself confronted by not one, not two, but an entire squad of Beestje guards. For a moment the blue armored bug-men stared at the human in shock. But, then with a clicking roar all hell broke loose. All of them raising their weapons and firing in rapid secession in an effort to kill him.

"Jalapeño!" The man yelped as he rolled to the ground and behind the closest cover he could find. "So much for getting out of here without and gunfights." Pulling his weapon out of its holster the man cocked it, the device giving a buzz as it warmed. "Guess it's time for an exterminator!"

Moving quickly the human jumped out from behind his cover and raised his weapon as he flew sideways through the air, shooting wildly in the direction of his attackers. By the time the daring intruder landed on the metal floor under him the entire hallway had fallen silent, all of the Beestje guards falling to the ground at the same moment, smoking holes in their armor from where they had been shot.

"Hum..." The man said as he slowly stood. "Now that was some fine pest control." After having a hearty laugh at his own cleverness the man then continued on his way, only having to take out two or three more groups of guards as he made his way more hallways and to his objective.

Eventually the man found what he had come into the fortress to find. A large door that bore the emblem and name of the Beestje villainous leader's name. Relieved that his mission would soon be complete and he could leave this vile place, the man quickly pushed it open and stepped into the room beyond. Inside he was shocked to find his target, a light orange skinned young man with light yellow hair in his twenties tied to a chair in the center of room. "Enrald Tarsect?" He asked, approaching the boy. "Is that you?"

The younger man stirred at the sound of the man's deep voice and peered over to him with fear in his eyes as they traveled over the impressive body of the intruder. "Oh gods no!" He said frightened. "P-please don't hurt me!"

"Don't worry cutie I'm not here to hurt you." The other man assured as he went over to him. "I'm Captain Barnabus Comet and I was sent by your father the ambassador to rescue you Enrald." Not wasting another moment Barnabus cut the ropes binding the frightened younger man and freed him from his captivity.

The ropes around him going limp, Enrald looked up to his rescuer with wide hopeful eyes. He had heard the name Barnabus Comet many times. People speaking of the legend of a man who did great deeds across the universe. "My dad sent you, really!"

The older man grinned, his dazzling smile glinting in the light as he brushed back the boy's hair. "You bet I he did kiddo, now come on before those stupid bugs figure out that I managed to sneak in here." Helping his charge to his feet, The man wrapped his powerful arm around his nubile body and turned them towards the door. "I got my ship cloaked just outside the fortresses walls. If we're fast we can both make our escape and get out off of this dust ball of a planet in two shakes of a comet's tail."

The young man laughed lightly at the joke and allowed himself to be led towards the door by his handsome savior. Unfortunately for the two before they could successfully make their escape the door in front of them slammed shut with a ominous thud. The pair becoming trapped inside of the to the room suddenly slammed shut, trapping both of them inside of the Beestje leaders private chambers.

"Blast it!!" Growling in frustration Barnabus rushed forward and tried desperately to open the closed door again. But it was no use the dammed thing was locked and there was no way it was going to open anytime soon. "Looks like we're not going to be using this door here kid." Barnabus said turning back to Enrald "Don't you worry thought, I'll figure something out."

"One shouldn't make promises which one cannot keep human." A sinister sounding voice chuckled from behind the duo. Looking past Enrald, Barnabus watched as an exceptionally large Beestje decked out with intimidating dark yellow armor stepped out from behind a curtain.

"Well, well, well if it isn't none other than Barnabus Comet. This is a surprise!" The Beestje said with a hiss. "To think they sent such an illustrious Jack-of-all-Trades just to combat me."

Barnabus glared at the armored alien, his hands on his hips as he stared him down. "Hello Craggard you're looking as hideous as usual. " The hero said with an air of condescension. "I guess that volcano I shoved you into last time we tangoed wasn't hot enough to roast you exoskeletoned hide."

The large Beestje chuckled darkly and began stalking towards his human guest. "One should not bring up the past Comet! Not when the present is much more interesting." Growling the insectoid creature reached down and began to unsheathed his sword. "Still... it's hard to believe they'd send someone of your caliber on such a trivial mission like rescuing some senator's son. After all a man of your greatness could be doing such more important things."

Frowning at the pompous man before him, Barnabus stepped between him and Enrald, shielding the boy from the ugly insect's sinister gaze. "Are you kidding? I volunteered for the mission." He said with a smirk. "Especially after I learned that I'd have another chance to kick your armor plated backside yet again."

The Beestje leader snarled and raised his sword. "You will pay for insulting me like that, Barnabus Comet!" With a mighty roar the intimidating alien made a lunging strike for pair, his weapon coming down in a wide arc as Enrald screamed out in horror behind Barnabus.

Barnabus on the other hand showed no fear, as if he ever would, and simply sidestepped out of the way of the blade it swinging past him with a whoosh. Then before Craggard could react the space hero raised his booted foot and brought it down upon the sword, the force causing it to embed itself in the stone flooring, rendering it useless. "What... This cannot not be!" Crag exclaimed as he gazed down at his weapon and then back up to Barnabus.

"You wanna bet beetle man!" Barnabus said smugly. Giving a grin the human drew back his fist and sent Craggard flying backwards several feet with a bone shattering uppercut. "And here I thought you Beestje couldn't fly." His attacker now laying on the floor unconscious Barnabus turned back to Enrald who was staring back with admiration in his eyes.

"T-That was amazing!" The young man swooned. Without another word Enrald rushed forward and wrapped his arms around the other man's neck, drawing Barnabus into a kiss that nearly burned his sideburns off of his face.

Humming in pleasure Barnabus slowly pulled away from the boy a smile tugging at his lips. "It wasn't amazing kid..." He said calmly. "That bastard just wasn't that good a fighter. That or maybe I'm just that..."

Before Barnabus could finish his quip the entire building began to shake, explosions ringing out from the floors below the room. In all the excitement of fighting off their attacker the bearded man had forgotten the charge he had set in the basement.

"...Uh-oh looks like we got to get ourselves outta here and fast. Come on!" Grabbing his younger charge's hand Barnabus ran towards the room's balcony. "Hold on Kid!" He shouted as he pulled Enrald out into the open air and took a flying leap out of the building just as another explosion erupted right behind them, a huge fireball erupting out of the narrow opening as they plummeted to the ground.

First problem handled, Barnabus looked below them as the ground came up to meet them at top speed and Enrald screamed in his ears fearing for their lives. But luckily for the frightened younger man, Barnabus Comet was cool as a cucumber as the plummeted, after all this was just another day at the office for him. Grabbing the other man midair the dashing space hero held him close then simply pressed a small button on his pocketed vest. Instantly a parachute emboldened with the symbol of a fiery comet shot out from the back of his clothing, the large swatch of material quickly catching the air and allowing the two of them to safely descend down to the ground at a leisurely pace.

"You can open your eyes now babe!" The older man said smiling. "Barnabus Comet won't let someone he's supposed to save get a scratch on them."

After breathing a sigh of relief Enrald giggled at the handsome man's declaration and rested his head on his shoulder. "Oh... Barnabus..." He sighed. "I think you deserve an extra special reward for saving me the way you did."

Barnabus let out a booming laugh that echoed against the backdrop of the burning Beestje stronghold. The perks of rescuing someone were always the sweetest reward in the end. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"OK WAIT A MINUTE!" A voice shouted out from seemingly nowhere. The scene around the two men began to ripple and fade as Barnabus and Enrald came to a sudden jerking stop. "There's no way in hell I'm going to believe that you did all that shit and then got yourself laid by a model!"

Several more voices joined in, each of them mocking the situation and Barnabus' greatness. Just as the outcry reached its zenith Enrald suddenly vanished from Barnabus arms, the older man's once pleased expression turning into one of surprise. Then before he could even figure out what happened the scene around him started to move again and the rope connecting the parachute snapped. Barnabus giving a frightened yelp as he flapped his arms and fell to the ground, the sounds of multiple people laughing ringing in his ears.

***************

Landing in his chair with an oomph a slightly different looking Barnabus glared at the group of laughing men around him as he sat in his favorite strip club. Unlike the version of him in his story this Barnabus was much older, past his prime. His body which had once been well maintained growing soft and his six pack stomach evolving into a pudgy beer belly. As he sat there grinning sheepishly the middle-aged man ran his fingers through his lightly gray speckled hair and gave an awkward chuckle.

"What... I'm telling you the truth!" Barnabus defended, giving a large stomach a scratch. "I saved the supermodel son of the Mentior ambassador from an impregnable stronghold and the guy was so thankful that he invited me back to his bedroom!"

"Yeah I'll believe that when Centarian pigs learn how to fly!" Another human in the crowd shouted.

A green plan man flipped one of his vines at Barnabus with a huff of disgust. "Like anyone would let a fat slob like you into their bed Barney!" He added

"Plus..." A third voice rang out from somewhere in the mob. "I know for a fact that a Beestje general wouldn't get taken down that easily! Especially if a lardass human like you were the one to hit them."

That was it; Barnabus wouldn't stand for anyone badmouthing his fighting abilities. They were one of the few things in life that he was truly proud of. Standing the now peeved man raise his fists in a sign of challenge and searched the crowd for the smuck who had just insulted him. "Alright buster those are fighting words!" He shouted. "Put up your dukes cause I'm about to knock your block off!"

With a snort the man who had given the smart remark stood up from the gathering of seated man, calling the human's bluff and showing himself to be a strong looking Beestje who's armor was the same golden color as the one in Barnabus' story. "You want to fight me human?" The beetle alien said with a sniff. "Cause if you do then I'll be more then happy to break that ugly mug of yours."

Seeing who was about to kick his ass Barnabus instantly deflated and lowered his hands conceding defeat. "Oh... ya'know on second thought maybe I was wrong about them being Beestje?" He said with a cheesy smile. There were a few moments of awkward silence before Barnabus snapped his fingers. "Of course what was I thinking? It wasn't a Beestje fortress I broke into, it was a... a... a Dormian one?"

Barnabus' unconvincing attempt to cover up his tall tale instantly failed, each and every single man seeing his lies for what they were. Next thing the human knew he was trying his best to avoid getting hit as he was pelted with empty beer cans, trash, and increasingly cruel insults as they began to advance on him with the intent of starting a brawl.

Watching the spectacle happening on the bar floor from behind the curtains on the strip show stage, a short man who bore a striking resemblance to a anthropomorphic iguana wearing a cheap white tuxedo sighed. "Looks like he's done it again." He remarked.

Shifting his strange eyes over to a trio of young attractive men wearing hardly anything the lizard motioned for them to approach. "Ok boys, get your tight little asses out there and distract the crowd. I don't need the military police busting down our doors cause that dammed Comet just had to tell his stupid stories again."

Back on the bar floor, Barnabus found himself pressed up against the bar as the mob around him grew closer. Why did so many of his trips to bars end up like this? Just as it looked like the bearded man was about to end up with a few new bruises and broken bones, the lights flickered above everyone and loud obnoxious dance music started playing from the direction of the stage.

"Hello there gentleman!" The voice of the owner, a man called Gern sounded over the built in speakers. "Gren's ding dong palace is proud to bring you a special show tonight! Arriving on stage are the trio of tantalizing twinks Jack Rockhard, Garran Upallnight, aaaaand Mammoth Shlong!"

Every man in the strip club gave a cheer at the mention of the three best stripers in the house. Together they watched as three men one human and the two others men with exotic multicolored skin and long white hair stepped out onto the stage and started dancing to the beat. With something better to occupy their drunken attention the angry crowd of men all left the sweating Barnabus and returned to their seats their attention focused entirely on the stripper before them

As the cheers and catcalls began, the now forgotten Barnabus let out a sigh of relief and slouched down onto one of the bar stools behind him with a sullen pout on his bearded face. 'Is it really that hard to believe that I could do all that stuff?' He thought to himself as he spun around to the bar. 'I mean sure I went a little overboard with the fireball and jumping out of the building. But still... they don't know if it's true or not!'

Peering over his shoulder at the men who had just tried to kill him, Barnabus gave a huff of annoyance. It seemed that his luck at this place had finally run out. Which was a shame cause he really liked the place. Sure Gren's was a bit of a rat hole what with it's campy tropical theme and campy strip show, but it was still a good place to drink and look at some great eye candy.

'Speaking of which.' Quickly using the last of his free credits, Barnabus got himself a lukewarm beer and shifted his attention away from his brooding and over to the three dancing men on stage. The boys were really in their element tonight, the three sexy as hell strippers slowly removing what little clothing they had as they flirted and endured the lustful gazes of the randy cliental. The little green guy who owned the place sure knew where to find the best men. Almost made Barnabus wish that he had chosen another line of work... almost.

A shadow falling on him from his right alerted Barnabus to the fact that he had company. "You still telling those tall tales Barney?" A gruff voice asked with the slightest hint of a Brooklyn accent. "Not that I don't mind having myself a good laugh. But still I's don't want to see yous get another black eye like last month."

Tearing his eyes away from the sexual display happening on the stage and turning towards the source of the mocking voice, Barnabus found himself in the company of a large pink alien with rounded horns on his forhead and nose. "Heya Salvador, how are they hanging?" Barnabus asked with a friendly nod towards the horned man.

Salvador patted Barnabus on the back using his left hand with his lower set of arms as he placed his lower set on the bar top and sat down. "You know me Barney as long as I gots myself some good food and something to drink I'm just dandy." He laughed. "So how did you do on yer last mission?" He asked taking a sip of a beer.

Barnabus groaned and dramatically went limp as if to show how tired he was. "A real pain in the ass." He complained. "The client that hired us wanted my crew to transport nearly a quarter ton of sheetrock to a construction site in the next system over. Took me and my crew six trips back and forth to get all of it moved."

The large alien let out a low whistle. "Geeze sounds like a hellava trip." He smirked, then leaning towards the other man he asked slyly. "Was the pay at least any good?"

Barnabus responded by taking out his personal assistant device or P.A.D. from his pocket and showing the lit screen to the other man. "Look and see for yourself." He harrumphed. "Only nine hundred credits for the entire delivery, can you believe it!?"

Staring down cross-eyed at the display past his horn, Sal observed a measly three digit number with a sympathetic sigh. That much work should have netted the average crew in their line of work at least two thousand credits minimum. "Man now that's really some shit." He chuckled ruefully. "Yous should have just told the guy to go and fuck himself. No need to break yer back doing piddley-ass work like that."

"I know, I know but I needed the money, as little of it as there was." Barnabus replied with a wave. "And you know I can't turn down a single job with the rank I have."

Sal nodded his horned head at the human, the human was right. Small timers who went and refused jobs often got bad reputations. "Well at least yous got yourself enough money to drink for tonight, right?"

"Yeah... for tonight." Barnabus sighed. For several minutes two men remained quiet, both of them watching as the strippers performed their enticing dance on stage. The erotic and suggestive movements of the trio managing to work the entire club into a pulsing frenzy of overly horny men who had too much drink and too much money burning in their pockets which they gladly threw onto the stage as the headliner, the human striper flung off his briefs and starting gyrating to a particularly upbeat tempo.

"So... there any tail biting in here tonight?" Sal asked absently. The alien was beginning to feel himself harden in his pants as the sighs to the near naked flesh. "Cause I don't know about you Barney, but when I come here I expect to have myself a little more than a few beers and bad fried food."

Barnabus shook his head. "Naw real cold tonight." He began without turning his attention away from the strippers. "I was really hoping to be more then getting myself bull balled tonight."

"Yeah that's a real shame." Sal glanced over to the human next to him out of the corner of his eye. The man despite being middle-aged for his species was a bit of a looker he thought to himself. Sure he had a beer gut, a few wrinkles around the eyes. But there was still that handsome face and nicely trimmed brunet hair with matching bushy sideburns and goatee.

Then on top of that there were those amber colored eyes. Such a rare color for a human. Shrugging Sal took a long swill of the drink and slung his arm over Barnabus' shoulder. "Hey how we skip da rest of the show and go fool around like we used to?" He suggested. "I'll even buy you a few brews for your trouble."

"Sal..." Barnabus said in an almost whine. Him and the chunky alien had slept together in the past before and while he had enjoyed it those days, they were long behind them. They had been friends much too long to be doing something like that. Having sex would only turn out awkward or worst, Sal might start to develop an unwanted attachment to him and Barnabus couldn't have that memories of a past relationship tainting any thought of that.

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear what you just said, ok?" The bearded finally responded, shrugging Sal's arm off of him. "And for your information even if I did want to have sex, I wouldn't do it because you offered me a few beers. I'm not some back alley whore I just enjoying one-night stands."

Sal didn't seemed fazed by the other man's refusal running his thick tongue across his bottom lip before he smiled lewdly at Barnabus. "Come on, I'd really show you a good time if we fucked." He pointed out vulgarly. "Not like you got fellas crawling over themselves to get at what you're packing tonight."

Barnabus gave the other man a rude hand gesture. "Ok now, it's a definite no horn head." He huffed. The human motioned around the room. "Also just for your information tubby, just because I blew it with my little story tonight doesn't mean that I couldn't have my pick of anyone in this dump. Heck, I bet I could even talk one of those sexy little numbers up on stage up there to come back with me to my bedroom! Better then having some fatass like you there."

"I know you don't really mean that Barney." Slyly the alien put his upper right arm around the human's shoulder again and used one of his lower ones to pat Barnabus' stomach. "You and me both know you don't mind having a big body rolling around in the sheets with you one an awhile. It's better then screwing twinks all da time. Someone solid who you can feel against your body. Who knows how to take care of a handsome human like yourself." The rhino man ended his sentence with a dirty chuckle knowing fully well that he had caused his friend to blush with his sweet talk. It always amused him how easily humans could turn red like that.

Barnabus sat there and stewed in angry embarrassment for a few seconds. He couldn't believe that what the man next to him was saying was actually starting to get to him. But, he was right. Barnabus might have liked patting the bottoms of the muscled and skinny men like those on the stage but in the end he would always seek out men with more... rounded physique to fully satisfy his appetite for full sexual release. He wasn't really proud of that fact mind you, the words alien chubby chaser ringing in his ears more times then he liked them too, but he couldn't help it.

Thinking the offer over for a second time Barnabus finally relented with a groan. Sex with Sal was better then getting nothing he supposed. Not to mention the literally sobering fact that he was out of spending money and could really use another drink. "Fine... let's go and mess around." He pointed at the other man, a stern look in his eyes. "But you'd better buy me some beers first. I want to be good and liquored up before I sell out."

Sal's large face split into a huge grin and he stood up a spring in his step. "Whatever you want Barney." He said happily. "Fuck I'll even buy you some of those gross nacho things you humans like." The large man motioned for the bartender to come over to them, calling out a quick order before he hopped off his stool and began walking over to the closest free table. "Come on we'll be more comfortable over here handsome."

Barnabus sighed and watched with an raise eyebrow as Sal's ambled away, a little bit of the crack of is larger pink ass showing as his baggy jeans drooped. "Yeah, yeah I'm coming." He hummed.

About an hour or so later a buzzed Barnabus and Salvador clumsily walked into Gren's ding dong palace lone and box packed store room. Both of them chuckling drunkenly as they groped each other and stumbled into the tight space, kissing in a heated frenzy.

"Man I can believe I actually agreed to do this." Barnabus laughed as he tried his best to remain standing upright and balance his tray of nachos in one hand and his beer in the other. "Just promise me that you'll never tell anybody that I let you have me for a few credits Sally?"

His back hitting the far wall the human motioned for the other man to hurry over, Sal taking a swig of his drink and hitching up his drawers before he padded over to him like an obedient dog eager for his treat. "Aw Barnabus don't make this sound like I'm too disgusting to fuck." Sal said softly. "All this is.... is two friends getting down and dirty."

Giving a grunt, the four armed man dropped down onto his knees in front of his human partner and held him in place by the waist with his upper hands. "Dam it's been awhile since I been with a human." He began, trying to unbuckle the other man's cargo pants with his free hands, clumsy fingers failing to work the complicated zipper in the front. "This is going to be one great night."

Barnabus placed the tray of nachos the on a nearby shelf and helped his friend by unzipping himself. He had forgotten how much trouble his old earth style clothing gave people sometimes. He couldn't even count the times he had to help his lovers undress him. "What? Don't my fellow brethren like the ol' horny, horn head slipping them his stubby dick?" He said as he fished out his rapidly hardening cock.

"Don't call it stubby." Sal snapped playfully. The horned alien lowered his head and began running his tongue over the human's half erect member, the taste of the earthling hitting his tongue and making his mouth water. "You monkey's just got dicks that are way too big. Not that I'm complaining about that right now. Far from it in fact."

"Sure Sal, you keep telling yourself that!" Barnabus said humoring the other man.

Sal's people, the Corcalvas were known for their notoriously miniscule genitalia. Add a thickset frame to that and it meant that Sal wasn't often sought after much as a potential bed partner by the finicky bar goers who regulared the gay bars. It was a shame too cause the large man had a desire boarding on the kinky for humans which made him a more then an energetic lover.

Thankfully for Barnabus had learned long ago to look past the Corcalva's chubby body and fully enjoyed himself as Sal finally began to suckle on his dick with the gusto of a man possessed. "S-Shit... forgot how good you are at this Sal." Barnabus whimpered loudly, before he smothered his own moans with a fistful of nachos.

Sal pulled off of the standing man's cock for a moment, tapping the organ against his flat tongue a few times. "What can I say?" He said in-between a lick. "I like how you humans taste. Not to mention this little wonder right here." The large alien went down on the other man again, slurping loudly as he let the thick organ pass between his lips.

Barnabus rubbed the back of the Corcalva's head and chuckled dirtily. "Well keep on doing what you're doing and you're going to get a mouthful." Eyes drifting to a wall clock the human was irritated to see his that they didn't have much time.

He was supposed to have been back at his ship, the Wild Comet already. If he didn't hurry there would be hell to pay from his second in command. "Could you hurry a little with the blow job Sal? I have to be somewhere in a while."

Not waiting for Sal to do answer yes or no the brown haired man jabbed his turgid cock deeper into the alien's mouth and growled as Sal began to deep throat him without complaint. As he stood there letting himself be given a blow job in the back of a dirty strip joint Barnabus thought briefly that he should be disgusted with himself. But just as soon as that came to his mind he pushed it away. After all, when you had the chance to have a little fun in life, he reasoned, you got to take it.

[Bet you starting to wonder by now if I'm really the same guy who supposedly rescued that guy in the Beestje fortress. Well... the answer to the question is both yeas and no. I am that guy, Barnabus comet but... I'm not exactly the glorious space hero that story made me out to be. In fact if I had to label myself I'd have to call me a bum. Now don't get me wrong I'm not putting myself down. Far from it actually. I just know my limitations and face reality with my head up high. True I would really like to be a space ace. Ya'know one of them fellas in those old serials from ancient earth like Flash Gordon or Buck Rogers. But I'm happy with what I am. It might be hard being a low level Jack-of-all-Trades. But I do my job honestly and as you can see I find my happiness where I can get it. Of course I don't always get to keep said happiness for long as you'll be seeing in a few moments.]

His orgasm approaching, Barnabus began to pant as the building pressure and immense pleasure made him weak in the knees. He knew It was only a matter of a few more minutes before he gave the greedy heavyset man in front of him what he wanted and sated his desperate need to satisfy his lust for the night.

"Ahh... AHHH Sal... I'm about to cum." The human said around a moan. "Keep on going horn head!"

The heated words of his fuck buddy seemed to send Sal into a trance. The Corcalva groaning wantonly around Barnabus' manhood as he worked the member in his mouth and used his upper hands to tweak the human's over sensitive nipples.

'Here it comes, here it comes!' Sal chanted in his head happily. This was always the best part of sleeping with a human. Well... second best part if you counted bottoming for them.

After a few more moments of sucking Barnabus began to feel himself go over the edge. Letting out a series of loud huffs while his head bumped against the wall behind him, the human felt his body begin to tingle as he rapidly approaching orgasm. But before the grand climax could fully begin, the pair's little love nest was suddenly invaded as the door to the small room burst open and the angry shouting of a certain person Barnabus didn't want to think of right then rang out. "THERE YOU ARE!"

Sal, surprised by the sudden intrusion comically gagged on the cock in his mouth and fell backwards. Barnabus slipping from the heavyset alien's lips just as the standing man came, his thick seed spraying over the Corcalvas stunned face and chest.

Cringing as he splattered his essence on his friend, Barnabus hesitantly raised his eyes up fearfully from the now perturbed and sticky Sal to the person who had interrupted them. Standing in the doorway of the storeroom was a thirtyish year old Middle Eastern woman with long brown hair. Her petite form dressed in a light brown pilot's blazer and baggy blue jeans, which her hands were currently placed upon at the hips as she scowled at him in disappointment.

"R-Rana... funny meeting you here." Barnabus said sheepishly.

"Yeah..." The woman said slowly as she walked into the room. Deadly intent in her eyes as she approached the middle-aged man. "Real funny."

Outside of the store room a crowd of strippers and bar patrons had gathered around the open door trying to see what was happening. "I wonder what's going on." A furry man with tentacles man asked. Several of the other men present shrugged their shoulders or equivalent body parts, none of them knowing what the heck was happening. They soon got their answer however as the woman who had kicked in the door stormed out of the back room, pulling a complaining and red faced Barnabus with her by the ear.

"I swear I have to watch you every second of the day don't I!" Rana fumed. The pair walked across the room ignoring the snickers and gasps the gathering around them made as Barnabus was forced to hop on one leg with his pants halfway down. "Slacking off in this dump like this while you're supposed to be getting your ass over to the Jack center!"

"Hey wait a minute we weren't finished yet!" A recovered Sal called out as he stumbled from the store room. The Corcalva was about to go chase after the duo but stopped when someone from his side presented him with a wash cloth.

"Sorry about Rana and Captain Barnabus over there sir." A voice apologized. Sal turned to his right to see a thin young man with short blond hair, smartly dressed in slacks and a nice buttoned up shirt standing there. "They can get a little... rambunctious when they're mad at each other."

Sal took the wash cloth being given to him and used it to wipe his face. "It's fine kid." He sighed. So much for having fun tonight. Then again... the pink man looked his new friend over, taking in the young human's pleasant body. "Hey you wanna see where I can put this horn here cutie."

The boy blushed and vehemently shook his head. "Um... n-no sir. Thank you anyway." He said quickly before he took off after Barnabus and Rana as they walked out of the strip club's front door.

Outside of the building a perturbed Rana let go of her prisoner's ear, letting the man rub his new sore as he scowled at her. "Jalapeño, did you have to make such a scene in there?" Barnabus asked sulkily. To think he had just been pulled away from the club like some naughty child. "I know people there after all."

"Yes, gotta keep up your good name with all the low lives and cheap strippers." Rana glared at the man before her and pointed at him, the tip of her finger pushing against his nose. "You said you'd go straight to the Jack center and come right back to the ship."

Barnabus gave his friend a guilty look. "I guess I sort of got a little sidetracked." He said casually, trying his best to defuse her anger.

Of course his attitude didn't go over well with his friend. Rana throwing her hands up and groaning at him in frustration. "Look... will it help to say I'm sorry?" He tried. "I'll even promise to go to the center right now if it helps."

Rana faced away from him and crossed her arms over her chest, giving Barnabus the cold shoulder. "Well... that's a start." She said haughtily. "Though I don't take much stock in a promise made by you."

'Ouch.' Barnabus cringed. Reaching forward he tried to place his hand on his irate friend's shoulder but was quickly rebuffed with a huff. Realizing that he would need help to appease her, the older man instead turned to the third member of their little group as he walked up to them.

"Oh... Heya Alfred." Barnabus greeted. "Didn't know you were here too."

The blond nodded. "Yes Captain... I was a little worried about you when you didn't come back to the ship on time." The younger man responded. "I had to talk Rana into letting me come with here down here however."

"Yeah she can be a little overprotective." Barnabus smiled over his shoulder to said woman, Rana giving him an annoyed look back. "But it's just because she's such a great person who I don't know what I would do without."

The compliment seemed to at last ease Rana's anger, the young woman's shoulders drooping as the tension flowed out of her. "Why do you always have to say stuff like that?" She said with a sigh.

Barnabus chuckled. "Cause its true."

Grinning now that the previous unpleasant mood had lifted, the bearded man placed an arm around Alfred and his other one around Rana, beginning to lead the two away from the strip club and down the sidewalk. "Ok, like I said I'm sorry I worried you by taking a little..." Rana's glare forced Barnabus to reevaluate his words before he continued. "...I mean: a totally irresponsible detour when I should have been doing my job as your dutiful captain."

"Laying it on a little thick aren't you "Captain"." Rana shot back sarcastically, but playfully.

Barnabus coughed a small blush rising in his cheeks. "Anywho... how about the three of us go to the Jack center together and get our pay? That way you both can make sure I actually go inside." He turned from left to right to his two companions. Each of them giving a nod after a few seconds of him grinning at them. "Good! Let's get our asses into gear then. The lift to the upper levels should be leaving pretty soon."

[Guess by now your wondering who these two are, aren't you? Well allow me to formally introduce you to my crew. Well... at least two member of my crew. There is one other but he's not the sort of guy who leaves his "work shop" too often. Anyway, the lovely lady under my left arm goes by the name Rana Najjar. The greatest starship pilot and best friend a bum of a captain like me could ever ask for. Some of the things she can do with my ship still amaze me and I couldn't ask for a better pilot. Though, she can be a bit of a pill a times as you saw when I was trying to get myself a little action. But I know that no matter what happens she'll always be there to give me sound advice when I need it and a good kick in my ass when I deserve it. Don't tell her I said any of that though, ok? I think she'd actually try to kill me or something if she heard me saying something that corny about our friendship.

Now as for the nervous looking blond with the nice little figure, he goes by the name of Alfred Porter. A neurotic little guy who we picked up a few years ago when we saved him from some thugs. He's a real sweetheart and takes care of all the medical needs of us on the ship. I tell you if he wasn't a member of my crew and painfully straight I wouldn't mind... you know. But as it is I'd never breech the friendship we have now. And that goes the same for every member of my crew. It's together along with our mechanic that the four of us make in my humble opinion one hell of a "Jack-of-all-Trades" crew.

Oh, darn it, almost forgot to tell you what the devil a Jack-of-all-Trade is. Heh-heh sorry about that I can be a little scatterbrained at times. Well... to put things simply, Jacks are the people you call when you need someone to do your grunt work. We deliver packages and cargo, act as soldiers of fortune and body guards, and if we're of a high enough rank we even help out the government with covert missions they deem too dangerous for their own men. Me and my crew don't get those sort of all jobs yet if your wondering. You see we're really low on the totem pole only at the second or "Copper" rating that they use for mission scaling. Guys like us only get to do the most boring or as Sal put it earlier most piddley-ass missions.

It's tough going sometimes. Little pay for way to much effort. But I won't let it get me down. I might not be the most successful Jack captain out there and me and my crew might not be the richest but I still love my life. I get to play out my dream of being like those heroic space aces from the old earth serials and travel out into space every once and a while. And thought I might not get to save handsome men from evil fortresses I still see my fair share of action. At least between jobs delivering socks and lumber to big box stores.]

Making their way through the run down building and vagrants living in the area they were in After, Barnabus and his two companions made their way to a public lift which would take them up to higher streets where the Jack Job Center was located. Boarding the creaky balcony-like contraption the three managed to push their way through the crowd of human's and aliens until they found themselves standing by the railing at the edge which overlooked the area they were about to leave.

Leaning against it Barnabus gave a small sigh as he stared down at the old buildings below them. The shabbily built, half rusted out buildings and bright neon signs gave the dark neighborhood an eerie glow which reminded him of the stories his father had told him of places on old earth like Las Vegas. In a way it was beautiful he supposed, but in another it was sad.

This place had once been the pride of the entire star system, most of the Aquarii station population living in the boxed in metropolis while the outer shell of the dome colony was teraformed to suit the needs of the citizens. But after said terraforming was finished fifty or so years ago people had moved out of the stuffy and confined space en masse. Leaving behind those who couldn't pay for better housing behind without a second thought and causing the once thriving city to fall into disrepair.

Now the slums at it was called now was the place for shady dealings and businesses of ill repute like the strip joint Barnabus had just come from. All in all it had its charm, but you didn't want to be there late at night. He was just thankful that he had been able to move onto his ship a few years ago. Barnabus slept a lot better knowing that he and his crew were safe in the spaceport.

Joining Barnabus in his observance of their surroundings as the lift creaked and started to ascended, Alfred shook his head and made a tutting sound. "Still hard to believe that they haven't renovated this part of the station yet." The younger man said. "It's been nearly ten years since they announced that restoration project hasn't it?"

"It was all just for press kid. The military needs the money to keep up its defenses more then the slums need new buildings. Gotta keep the Warg Empire on their clawed toes after all." Barnabus shuddered a little at the thought of the I.U.G.'s most notorious enemies, unwanted memories running through his head.

Shaking those thoughts off however Barnabus turned to his two crewmates and gave them a smirk. "Besides what do any of the so called repairs matter to us anyway? We all live back on the ship and after we make it big we'll be moving up to the nicer levels of the station."

"That's only if we can get ourselves better jobs." Rana reminded the two men. With a deep breath the she frowned to herself looking down at her feet then smiling she looked Barnabus in the eyes. "You really think we can get ourselves cushy places to live up there?" She asked.

"Are you kidding? I know we can." Barnabus said proudly. "All we need is one big job to get the ball rolling. Then we'll get money coming in left and right." Rana rolled her eyes at her captain's confidence and snickered lightly. Barnabus pouted at her amusement and turned to Alfred only to find the younger man trying and failing to hold in his own laughter. "What, you don't think we can do it?"

"It's not that Captain it's just... that you're always so sure of yourself." Alfred answered.

"Hey our dimwitted leader wouldn't be himself if he wasn't blind to his limitations." Rana gave Barnabus a light punch in the arm which had the beer-bellied man rubbing his newly forming sore. "His many, many, many limitations."

"Wise-asses." Barnabus grumbled ruefully. Snubbing the giggling duo the middle-aged man went back to watching the passing scenery. It was then that he took notice to a group of burly looking dock workers across from them on a lift descending down into the slums.

Usually Barnabus would just silently ogle the men as they passed his field of vision. Unfortunately for the man's self-restraint one of the workers choose that exact moment to peel off his sweaty t-shirt in response to the heat of area and present the human to a prime view of his powerful looking hairy chest.

"Jalapeño!!" Without thinking Barnabus leaned over the railing as far as he could and let out a low catcall, everyone on the lift turning to watch as he made an ass of himself as he acted began shouting and waving at the passing elevator. "Heya handsome!!" He called. "Non, no not you the big guy next to you!. Heya cutie, If you're ever visiting the spaceport be sure to stop by my ship! I'll be happy to get on my knees and help you get some sweet lov-oomph!"

Before Barnabus could finish his lewd jeering the bearded man found himself reeling in pain as Rana came up behind him and cuffed the back of his head, the force almost causing him to tumble offer the edge of the railing. "Will you show some decorum for once?" She scolded. "We are in public!"

Falling backwards onto the elevator floor on his butt, Barnabus rubbed the forming bruise on his scalp and scowled over to his friend. "What the devil was that for you screwy dame!" He huffed. Giving a yelp the Jack captain got his answer as Rana aimed another light punch at the back of his head. "Knock it off!" He shouted as he scrambled onto his feet. "I was only flirting there's nothing wrong with that."

"I'll show you flirting!" Rana snapped. The Middle Eastern woman raised her hand ready to strike. "That sort of filthy talk isn't befitting the captain of a starship!" Chasing each other in a small circle Barnabus and Rana began to argue like a pair of children, leaving an embarrassed Alfred to handle apologizing to the other passengers on the elevator as they embarrassed themselves.