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Embarrassing Childhood Stories

Venti knew who was at the door without having to look through the peephole. "Well, isn't _this_a surprise," he said after opening the door. "It's Otis, my_best_friend of _all_time."

The giant otter smiled up at Venti. "I can almost see the sarcasm dripping from your lips, buddy."

"I can't help it," Venti said, stepping aside so Otis could enter. "First Dad calls me to inform me he's seconds away from the apartment, and then my oh so _ever_delightful little brother--the one you're in a long distance relationship with, if you'll recall--reveals himself to have come along for the ride."

"And then I show up."

Venti nodded, making a gun out of his thumb and forefinger and pointing it at the otter. "Don't get me wrong, Otis. I was going to see if you wanted to hang out today, but I get the feeling you're going to be occupied." The jackal glanced in the direction of the bathroom. "As soon as my brother decides to finish using the bathroom."

"So this is the friend who came with you when Ted was in that accident." Venti's father stood up from the couch and extended his hand up at the towering otter.

"Yup, this is Otis," Venti said. "Otis, this is my Dad."

Otis shook hands, then said "Pleasure to meet you, Mister West."

"You're almost as tall as my son."

"He's three inches shorter than me, poor thing," Venti said. If he was going to be inconvenienced by everyone showing up at his apartment, he was going to tease the hell out of as many as he could, starting with his best friend.

"He's about as big as you, though."

"He wishes he was as big as me. Poor thing comes from a long line of lean mustelids. He'll never get to my size, poor thing."

Otis gave Venti the look--the look which promised a great and terrible vengeance on the jackal. "Venti's just jealous that he can't swim as fast as I can, sir."

"He was never a good swimmer," Venti's father said. "We tried to give him swimming lessons, but he would always sink to the bottom of the pool."

Venti felt an involuntary cringe coming on. His father's voice was slipping into Story Mode. _This is going to end up embarrassing me forever,_he thought.

"One time he got it into his head that if he wasn't wearing his swim trunks, he might be able to float."

Otis grinned at Venti. "Oh, really?"

"Yup. Of course when that didn't happen, he took off his underwear to see if _that_could help him get some buoyancy."

Otis's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates, and he barked out a laugh. "You wore underwear_with your _swim trunks?"

Venti delivered a punch to Otis's shoulder. "I was _eight._I wasn't as fashion conscious then as I am now."

"He didn't stop wearing underwear with his swim trunks until he was twelve," said Venti's dad.

And there's the embarrassing feeling welling up in me. "Thanks, Dad. Now Otis will rag me about that for a long time."

"Just doing my job as a parent, son."