FSE

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Disclaimer: The following will contain homosexual individuals and relationships and may be an interesting commentary on life, death, immortality, God, gods and various religions. No offense is intended, and if you cannot handle it, please discontinue reading rather than blaming me. This is copyrighted to me (mewjen(at)ymail.com), so no using it without my permission and no stealing it (any profits must be shared). This is a work of fiction. Any likenesses to persons, places, and so on, real or imagined, living or dead is purely coincidental.

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Act II - Part 7

Is it bad that when I awoke and found myself cradled into warm arms and my head resting on a warm chest that I did not want to open my eyes? That I just wanted to rest for a while longer? To be free of the world around me?

It was the slow caress of someone's thumb against my cheek that made me open my eyes to witness the relieved expressions of my father and Jaller. Dad looked completely worn out, as he rubbed his eyes to hide the tears that had formed. Jaller looked...I don't know. He was my knight in shining armor, leaning over me, arms holding me to him. My emotions were running wild, as my heart beat its conflicting emotions through me.

I heard someone speak and felt Dad stand up and move away, but my eyes stayed focused on Jaller.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me on my forehead. "I love you," he said, just loud enough for me to hear. "I am so, so sorry." He squeezed gently. "I shouldn't have pushed you away. I shouldn't have said the things I said. I shouldn't have thought the things I thought. I should never have let my fear and doubt control me." He kissed my forehead again. "I love you and I'm sorry."

He lowered me to the ground, so that I was now sitting on the marble floor. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him close. "It wasn't your fault," I whispered. I wanted to say so much more, but my emotions overwhelmed me, and I just rocked him, unable to control my tears. I let my resistance go. I let the final shield down. I was his, whether he wanted me or not.

"Don't blame Ra entirely," he said, echoing his guilt. "He just amplified what was buried." He pulled away from me and took both of my hands in his own. "Ra removed his influence from everyone." He looked down for a moment and smiled, a little bit of pride showing through, "Though in my case, I, apparently, burned it out while trying to save you." He took a moment, before returning his gaze to mine. "I know what he did was wrong, but seeing him react like that...." He searched his memory, shaking his head slightly. "He deserves another chance."

"I don't want him in my life," I muttered. I wasn't going to forgive him. Not after discovering the truth. Not after what he did to Set...and Jaller.

My gaze had slipped in my moment of reflection. Jaller looked as though he could read my thoughts.

"What about your mother?" he asked. "You can't have one without the other. You'll also need him for the wedding."

To be completely honest, I did not take in anything beyond the word 'wedding.' "Wedding?" I let the excitement flow into me. "You still want to? Does that count as a proposal or do I need to...." I started to babble, until he silenced me with a single finger to my lips.

"Slow down," he said, calmly. "I don't want to rush things quite that fast. We have a couple of lifetimes left. We can take our time. Yes, we will, most likely," he added a teasing sound to those two words, "be getting married. But let's wait and let some wounds heal first." His hand stroked the fur of my chest.

It was only then that I realized that not only was I fully healed, but also, I was cleaned up and my modesty covered with a simple pair of pants. Looking around, everything was cleaned up. The craters and destructive aftermath were gone, and the marble restored to a glossy shine. It was as if Cronus' actions were nothing but a horrible dream. Though the scars that can't heal overnight proved otherwise. I was about to ask about Cronus' fate, but I spotted someone that made me jump to my feet.

"Horus!" I ran to him and hugged him, completely taking him by surprise.

After the shock wore off, he returned the hug. "I'm glad to see you too." He patted me on the back uncomfortably. "It is good to see you on your feet."

"Me? I feared you were dead?" I said overzealously.

"Almost. Ra was able to trickle out enough energy to save me." Horus pulled away, returning to his original gaze, which I followed to Set, who was lying on the ground.

Set was conscious and being looked over by Dad. He looked...terrible. His physical wounds were quickly disappearing, but his face told a different story.

"Sorry I could not stop Aries," Horus continued, not noticing my distraction.

"It's fine," I said hurriedly. I paused a moment and looked around again. "Where is Aries?" I almost expected to find him begging for forgiveness at Dad's or my feet.

"He ran the moment he could. Probably in Zeus' lap already," he mused. "Oh yeah, I believe your sexual debt has been cleared."

"It never existed in the first place," I muttered.

Horus made a grunting sound that sounded like he was trying to cover up something.

"Anything wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. At. All," he replied, pausing a bit too long between each word.

I turned and studied him for a moment. Horus' training made him good at hiding his emotions. Knowing him for as long as I have, I know how to read the subtleties of his expressions. Right now, the only thing subtle was that he was controlling himself. He was angry, angrier than any other time in my memory.

"Horus?" I asked with concern. I tried to touch his shoulder but he grabbed my wrist painfully.

His eyes narrowed for a moment and his grip tightened, before he glanced behind me. He sighed deeply and released my arm. He looked down apologetically, before turning and walking away.

I could sense Jaller's worry, before he grabbed my hand. He tried to gently pull me away, but I needed to hear it from my best friend. "What did I do?" I asked, after Horus stopped.

I pushed for it, and I knew what could happen, I knew he kept a lot bottled up, but it still hurt. He turned back and roared, "YOU? YOU HAVE TO BE RELATED TO THAT BASTARD! YOU HAVE TO MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! YOU'RE AN ARROGANT BASTARD WHO BLAMES EVERYONE ELSE FOR YOUR PROBLEMS, WHILE NEVER DIRTYING YOUR HANDS! AND WHEN YOU DO, YOU WALLOW IN YOUR MISERY AT THE FIRST OBSTACLE YOU ENCOUNTER, CRYING YOUR EYES OUT, NEVER CONSIDERING YOUR ACTIONS! YOU ALWAYS TAKE THE SHORTCUT! YOU NEVER TRY! YOU LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME! WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU, WHEN YOU TAKE EVERYTHING I HAVE! I LOVED HIM AND YOU'LL FUCK ANYTHING WITH A DICK! BUT NO, YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME! YOU HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING HANDED TO YOU ON A GOLDEN PLATTER! YOU HAD LOVE AND YOU RUINED IT! THEN YOU STOLE MINE AND YOU RUINED THAT! LEAVING ME WITH NOTHING BUT AN EMPTY HEART. YOU RUIN EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH. YOU RUINED ME. YOU RUINED HIM AND FELT NOTHING FOR US. FOR OUR LOST. I THOUGHT OF YOU AS A BROTHER, BUT YOU JUST USED ME. YOU WASTED YOUR LIFE. YOU SCREWED AROUND LIKE A WHORE, WHILE I played damage control!"

Horus was sobbing and shaking by this point. I put an arm around him for support, and he just curled into me, placing both of his fists on my chest and burying his face into them.

"I tried setting you up with the man I love! Why? Why do you have to be my best friend? Why couldn't you just stay out of my life? Without the memory of our first kiss, I was trapped. How can you love, if you can't remember you're gay? Why couldn't he just trust me? Why couldn't you? Why couldn't you stand up for me? I hate you. I hate you so much. All these years you've just toyed with me, screwing me at every turn. Did you enjoy it? Did you take your pleasure? Did you take your fill? Or do I need to suffer some more for you? What did I do to deserve you? A bastard who hates me. While I hate you too. I hate you, you son of a bastard.... I hate you...." Horus continued incoherently.

I had both my arms around him, not understanding, just holding him, as he had done for me so many times.

IT took several minutes for Horus to fall silent, several more for his tears to stop, and even more before he pulled away. Dad and Jaller were with Set, who was sitting up, and judging by the fact that he was holding his legs tightly and they each had a hand on one of his shoulders, they were doing the same for him that I was doing for Horus.

Horus stood up straight and rubbed his eyes with the back of his arms, trying to clear the tears and flatten his feathers.

I waited for him, while he stood there in an embarrassed silence, until he raised his hand to the back of his head and let it slide down until it reached his neck. Leaving it there, he spoke, his voice laced with shame, "So...um. Sorry, about that."

I remained silent.

"Yeah," he said awkwardly, "Um. There is something I need to tell you that I should have told you a long time ago. Set and I are, or were in a relationship and I never told you."

While that explain some of his previous statements, but it still fail to make sense. I guess my expression conveyed that, because he continued.

"I met Set before I approached you. And we..." He struggled to find the right words, before giving up, "hit it off. I was falling in love with him, without even realizing it, without even figuring out, I am gay. We were a couple for over three years, when I introduced myself to you. At first, I did not want to tell you because...I was afraid how you would judge me. You were the only friend I had that treated me like a person and not a rank. I did not want to lose that. After you told me that you were going to still pursue men, I did not want to hurt you by rubbing my happiness in your face. Especially when Ra started coming down on you. I introduced Set as a friend, when I accepted that you were both important parts of my life that I could not keep separate. Unfortunately, that it seems was a step too far.

"Your father was wary of you being around a gay couple. He feared we would be a negative influence, but I was your best friend-and, to be fair, your only friend at that time. So he......he took our memories. He chose your happiness over mine."

I was stunned. I just gawked at him.

"The day Set approached you was the day we were going to tell you about us. Without those memories, Set was unattached and looking for love. And I never knew I was gay. Set found you, whereas I stayed alone and unloved...miserable...because of you."

I wanted to hug him again, but he put up a hand.

"I am still mad...and jealous. I know it is partially my fault. If you had known, none of it would have happened. But you took him from me," he said it as an accusation. "You had the days with him that should have been mine. And you fucked it up, leaving all of us miserable. As much as Ra deserves the blame, I blame you...for all of it, for all this pain I'm feeling. I hate you right now. I hate everything about you. I hate what you did to my Set."

He turned to watch Set. "It's not fair to you, I know. You are my best friend and I love you, but I need time. I need to deal with this, if I am to become who I was." He turned back to me. He was hating himself for what he felt that was obvious. We had been best friends for so long. We'd been through everything together. Always having the other's back. But now...

"After I leave with Set, I need you to stay out of my life for a while. You can stay at my place, and I will stay with Set. I do not want to end this friendship. I care about you, and I want to be your best man at your wedding. I want you to be happy, and I want to be there for you and Jaller. But that is not how I feel. I want to hurt you, and I cannot live with that. Please honor my wishes and just stay away."

He walked off towards Set and the others, leaving me to digest his words.

SET was even worse. He was closest to me and to Horus. He went from betraying me to betraying the both of us.

Dad looked like he was about to pass out, so I had Jaller take him inside to Mom. He looked nervous, but obeyed, when I assured him that I would join him shortly.

I knelt next to Set and despite a warning grunt from Horus, placed my hand on his shoulder.

"It's not fair," he said in hushed tones. He looked up at me. "I was doing the right thing. I was making sure you would be happy. I was fine. I could live with my misery, because I knew you could move on and be in love again. But now, how can I?" He turned to Horus. "I remember how much I loved you, and I don't want to be alone again."

The falcon moved forward and kneeling down placed his hand on top of Set's. "I am not asking you to. I want what we had back."

Set looked away, as I stepped back, giving them space, but still listening.

'This is the solution,' I thought. 'This is how Set and I can move on. My love for him may have been scarred, and I may have tried to forget it, but it did not diminish. I want to move forward with Jaller. I want to be with him. But...I can't leave Set to be alone for the rest of his life. Horus may be desperate, but I know what he's feeling. If those two can reconnect then I know Jaller and I will be fine. This has to work.'

"Horus, I'm poison. I just ruin everything I touch." Set said.

"What have you ruined?" the falcon asked.

Set gave him a stern look.

"I do not care about Anubis." It still hurt being the target of Horus' anger. "He will be fine. This is about us. I love you, and I want us to continue where we left off, where we were forced to stop."

Set gaped at Horus for over a minute. "Where we left off? Horus, up until an hour ago neither of us knew there was something to continue. You may be ready for that, but I can't. I fell in love with An. I hurt him. And I just realized that I left you and went straight to him. I betrayed you in an instant. With no remorse, I hurt you."

"That was his fault!" Horus shouted.

Set almost fell backwards, but he caught himself, pulling away from the falcon in the process.

Horus realized his mistake and continued calmly, "You did not betray me." When Set continued to look unconvinced, he lowered his voice, failing to prevent me from overhearing. "Look, if circumstances had been different and still prevented me from being with you, I would still want you to end up with Anubis. He was good to you. You were a great couple. He just has a bastard for a father. Please, don't bring your relationship with him into your decision. It was a good relationship. But he is going to be with Jaller, and I really want to be with you."

"What if I do the same to you?" Set pleaded with Horus.

"You won't," Horus said firmly.

"But I loved him too." Set sounded desperate in his guilt and fear.

"You won't." Horus replied again with complete confidence.

"I'm chaos!" Set shouted in his misery.

I chose to interrupt in that moment. "Set, you need to stop blaming yourself. What Dad...what Ra did was unforgivable. It is all right to break, and you suffered a lot more than I did. If you need my forgiveness, you have it. Set, it is all right to be happy, and right now, you need to hold on to it. Horus loves you, and he never stopped. He's been fighting for you ever since we broke up. You have been fighting for Jaller, because you said he deserved his chance, and you were right. Set, you and Horus deserve your chance. You don't have to rush it. You don't have to talk about marriage. You don't have to talk about living together. You don't have to talk about being a couple yet. But you need to spend time together. You need to figure out what you want." I sighed deeply. I ran out of ideas and just said what I wanted to happen, "Set, just take his hand and let him kiss you."

Set was shaking slightly when he took Horus' hand, and I closed my eyes and walked far enough away to give them some privacy.

Seven minutes, 38 seconds later, they slowly made their way over to me. Set was calm but shaken. Horus was calm and shaken, happy and sad at the same time.

"Set and I are going to his place now," he said quietly.

"Let me know how things are going," I responded with care.

Horus gauged me for several moments. "Okay, but let the phone ring."

"Then use yours." My response was quick, but honest.

Horus gaze was piercing again, and then, nodding his head slightly, "Okay."

They walked a few feet away and vanished into a green portal, and I walked inside and joined Jaller, whom Mom was having recount what seemed to be our entire childhood. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the back of his head, smiling at my mom's smile, smiling even wider when I realized what was once again around Jaller's neck. The gold shone warmly against his chest. The perfect symbol for everything I felt.

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Author's Note: That wraps it up. The epilogue will introduce a few more answers and fun-ness, but this the ending. I almost forget to bring back the pendant. See you next week for the epilogue.

Thank you for reading this chapter. While you are here, please rate, favorite, and comment. Your feedback is the only way I know if the various parts and concepts are working or confusing.