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"That would have sucked, man..."

It suddenly occured to Reis that he had been conscious for a time. The blue-grey wolfdog was vaguely aware of the hyena leaning against the wall beside him, though the pounding in his skull, paired with a deafening ring in his ears and an unpleasant exploding sensation behind his eyeballs, made it hard for Reis to see or hear anything at all. "Wsshshwha?"

"If you had died... Like, that would have sucked a lot."

Reis' gaze drifted up the wall for a few moments, Notch's words swirling in between his ears, trying to find their mark. He winced, and shifted his gaze, looking directly at the ceiling. "I... I didn't die...?"

"Um, well... You kinda did. For a good bit, actually. Had to hit you with the pen." Notch chuckled awkwardly. "Hey, it ain't every day the devil meets someone too mothafuckin' bad for hell, eh?"

Reis thought about chuckling, but whatever sound escaped his throat must have gotten lost in his large nose somewhere. In a moment, he began to feel the hard tile underneath him, rather unyielding to the contour of his bare back. Gradually, the world began to reconstruct itself around him. Through the haze in his brain, a single coherent thought occured to him.

Shit.

***

"Hit me up when you get home, aight?" Notch called from the couch as Reis opened the front door to a flood of unpleasant sunlight.

"Will do, man. Thanks again, for everything." The hyena nodded, and Reis shut the door behind him, sighing as he stood on the front stoop of his friend's townhome, bracing himself against the brick wall. He rubbed his forehead and scrubbed his eyes with his paw.

Groaning, he slowly descended the three steps to ground level, grasping the wrought iron handrail along the way. He was eager to get to his car; The morning sunlight was tainted with a barely noticable and yet nearly tangible purple tint, and it really hurt his eyes. Opening the door to his Altima, he sank awkwardly into the leather seat, tossing his MHS jacket into the passenger seat. Closing the door, he opened the center console, found his shades, and donned them. He also made a point to lower the sun visor.

After placing the key in the ignition, Reis gripped the steering wheel, leaning his head back and sighing one more time. He would normally decide to avoid driving at this juncture, except that he had to pick up Marcus for school.

He thought for a minute, mulling it over in his hazy head. Wasn't it irresponsible to lie to Marcus, and allow him to ride in his car, even with Reis knowing that he was in less than perfect condition to drive?

Reis shuddered, and whimpered a little. He could always call Marc and tell him that he wasn't feeling well and couldn't pick him up, but Reis knew that would cause him to worry, and that was the LAST fucking thing that he wanted.

Besides, something told him that he needed to have Marcus beside him.

Grimacing, Reis spitefully punched the bottom of the steering column with half-force, before reaching into the door pocket, grasping a pack of Newports, and putting one in his teeth. He lit it, took a long drag, sighed, and turned the key.

Reis intentionally drove ten miles an hour below the speed limit. He thought about Notch a little, but he mostly thought about Marcus... The fennec had been his best friend since they were practically pups. Reis worried about him. A lot. Marcus had practically no other real friends. The most meaningful relationship that Marcus seemed to have outside of his friendship with Reis, as well as his family, was the occasional twinky boyfriend, but those relationships never lasted more than a couple weeks.

However, Reis knew how much he meant to Marcus, though he sometimes didn't want to believe it. He hated it in a way. He loved Marcus as much as anyone, but god knew that Reis was possibly the worst person in the world that one could depend on. That's why he worried so much about Marcus.

Reis' paws squeezed and wrenched forcefully at the wheel, his ears folded back as his stomach churned in loathing. Why the hell couldn't he think about Marcus when he was about to do something stupid??

Reis gulped. He held his breath, choking, and leaned forward, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. He sure as hell wasn't going to let himself cry in front of Marcus.

It occured to him that he was nearly at Marc's house, in fact. He hung a haphazard right, wiping his cheek on his sleeve as he did so. He also realized he was still wearing only a white tee. Alarmed, he drove the car slightly up onto the curb and stopped. Unbuckling, he grabbed his jacket and pulled it on, hiding his arms. Straightening his collar, he sighed, buckled, and put the car back in gear.

It was about another thirty seconds before Marcus came into view. Standing on the curb with his bag slung over his shoulder, he smiled as the car approached. A weak smile even appeared on Reis' muzzle. His tail twitched a little in the seat. It seemed he couldn't deny that no matter how bad things were, the fox's presence had always brought him some semblance of relief.

"Hey, man," said Marcus through the open window, opening the door and sinking into the seat, setting the bag in his lap.

"Marc." Reis took Marcus' bag and set it in the back seat for him.

"You okay? You don't look well, Reis," said Marcus, studying the wolf's face with worried eyes. Reis gulped.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, as convincingly as he could muster.

"You sure?"

"Positive." Reis put the car in gear and pulled away. For a minute, the two rode in silence.

"So how is he? Notch, I mean," inquired Marcus, fidgeting a bit with the car's cupholders.

"In bad shape..." said Reis plainly, lighting another cigarette. Taking a long drag, he sighed. "He's told me so many times in the past that he doesn't know what he would do without Sara, at least as a friend, and I agree with him; I don't know what he's going to do, either." Another long drag. "And I'm worried, as you've probably guessed."

Marcus fought the stabbing urge to squeeze the large wolfdog, as he often did. He didn't always succeed in doing so, but for now, he simply placed a paw on Reis' shoulder, massaging it affectionately through the thick jacket. "Most people wouldn't dream of doing what you do for your friends, Reis..."

Reis smiled visibly, if weakly. "You're really sweet, Marc, but this isn't about me."

"I know..." Marcus leaned his cheek against his friend's deltoid, sighing. "I suppose the best thing to do is just be there for him... Give him counsel... Keep him from doing anything stupid."

Reis gulped, rubbing his left arm with his paw.

"Reis... REIS!"

"FUCK," Reis gasped, jamming his foot down on the brake with nearly enough force to break the pedal as a car passed closely in front of him.

"Stop sign..." Marcus pointed out.

"Yeah..." said Reis through grit teeth, loosening his death grip on the wheel a little. After a moment, he chuckled lightly. "You can take your claws out of my shoulder now, Marc..."

"Hmm? Oh, shit, I'm sorry man..." Marcus retracted his arm.

"No worries," said Reis, smirking. However, his face almost immediately fell as he rolled through the intersection. He squashed his cigarette butt into the car's ashtray.

"Reis?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you still remember the promise you made me a while back?"

"What was that? Remind me."

"That you would quit smoking sometime soon?"

Reis sighed. He did remember. "I haven't forgotten, Marc. I promise."

"Truly?"

Reis looked straight at his friend. "I promise," he repeated.

Marcus smiled. "I'm glad." He glanced at Reis' iPod, sitting on the center console, plugged into the car through a tape deck adapter. "Do you mind if I put on some music?"

"Not at all."

Marcus picked up the device, thumbed through the music library until he found the first thing that struck his current fancy, and pushed play. It immediately came through the speakers.

"Really? Of all the music on there, you decided on Linkin Park?"

"Hey, man, they're not my favorite but this is a fucking great song." Marcus leaned back, tapping his fingers on the door as "Lying Away From You" began to play.

It had been a good while since Reis had last listened to the song. The intro led into the first verse, and Reis heard Marcus begin to hum softly as the chorus began. He stared straight forward, following the lines on the road as he recalled the lyrics. He sighed.

The very worst part of you is me.

***

Reis rested his cheeks in his paws as he sat high in the bleachers, away from most other furs. The sun drifted further west in the sky behind him as he stared down at the football field, deep in thought.

Even from the top row, Reis could still clearly hear the plasticky clatter of helmets as the football team practiced.

He felt eyes on him. He glanced down and to the right in time to see the faces of three females, before all three faces whirled in the opposite direction. He heard some giggles, and picked up a few fragments of chatter. Oh my god. He looked. Why do you think he's here? He's fucking dreamy as hell. Do you think he's as big down there as he is everywhere else? Oh my god, his piercings are so cute...

Reis half-scoffed, half-chuckled. Only other wolves could fully understand how good his hearing was....

He figured he should be used to it by now; He was ALWAYS damn near the only male there after school who wasn't practicing.

In a moment, the reason he was there rounded his final turn on the track that ran the circumference of the football field. Since wrestling season was over, he was available to take Marcus home after his own practice. It was a hell of a lot better than Marcus riding the school bus, for both of them.

The first thing that Marcus did when he finished was glance up at him. Reis noticed him do this every time. Marcus grabbed a towel, wiped off, grabbed some water, and sat. Even as he cooled down, he continued glance back at Reis, multiple times.

However, every time Marcus looked, Reis had already been watching him right back.

He couldn't resist. He was literally unable to. He had tried, many times, but Reis had realized fairly recently that Marcus was simply un-ignorable. Rationally, the way that Marcus moved was nearly undiscernible from the way that most people moved. Somehow, though, whenever he moved, it was perfect in every way.

Marcus looked again. Reis buried his face in his large paws as he watched, sighing wistfully.

You're too amazing to be having anything to do with me, Marcus...

He watched some more, until Marcus took off another time. Reis sighed again, before reaching between his feet for his alluminum water bottle. He unscrewed it, and took a good, long swig. The liquor burned his stomach and throat, even still, and it was a sensation that Reis had learned to cherish.

He would let Marcus drive anyway, since he had his learner's permit.

By the time the athletes had begun to disperse, the sun had nearly retired for the evening underneath the horizon, and Reis' bottle had become considerably more empty. The wolf had fallen asleep on his paw only a couple minutes before the track team finished. Marcus made his way towards his snoozing friend and sat beside him.

"Hey. Sleepy." Reis felt a paw batting at one of his ears.

"Hmmph?" He woke, wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth with his jacket sleeve. Marcus grinned.

"You ready to head out, big guy?"

***

Marcus and Reis sat on the curb underneath a streetlight, Reis' battered Altima sitting to the left, rendered undrivable.

Between the two of them, there was only one injury, and that was a somewhat painful bump on Reis' head, where it had hit the window. Nobody had died. For how he felt, however, Reis couldn't help but wish he had been knocked unconscious.

The two sat in silence for a good bit, Reis with his face buried in his paws, tears running between his digits as he failed miserably to hold them back, Marcus with his arms wrapped tightly around his friend's middle, nearly in tears of sympathy himself.

"You seemed okay to drive to me too, Reis," Marcus said after a time, craning his neck to nuzzle Reis' shoulder. "It was a little mistake that most people make at some point. We just got unlucky this time."

Reis shook his head softly. He was more than a little buzzed; He was just drunk more often than he ever cared to admit to Marcus.

He wanted so desperately to hold and cling right back, but he knew that it would do neither of them any favors.

"I'm just so glad that you knew the guy from school. I mean, if the cops had been out here-"

"Honestly, Marcus, I'd rather be in jail. I should be."

"Hey. STOP that." Marcus squeezed harder. "Please don't..."

Reis peeked through his fingers when a white minivan approached and stopped in front of them.

"That's my ride." Marcus held Reis' arm with one paw, putting the other between his ears. "It's okay, Reis... I promise," he assured, petting and scritching the wolf's head affectionately. Reis' heart jumped. With that, Marcus stood up, heading for the car. "I'll text you," he called before jumping in.

As the van took off, Reis was left alone to wait for the wrecker, feeling quite cold.

***

Reis waited. He waited, deep in thought as he lay on his bed in his boxers, staring up at the ceiling fan. His mother had the heat turned up pretty high at this time of year for whatever reason, and he enjoyed the feeling of cool air rushing through his bare fur.

He still felt awful, though. What he currently craved was validation. He waited for Marcus to text him, as promised, and tell him once again that it was all okay, even though Reis knew that it absolutely wasn't.

Marcus cared too much about Reis. Reis had resolved that there was a good reason that nobody else seemed to ever care for him. They were better off for it.

Likewise, Reis cared entirely too much for Marcus. He depended on him, as he had for many, many years. Marcus meant the whole world to him. However, Reis had also resolved a while before that he was no good for Marcus, and that part had worn relentlessly on his mind.

Were he a truly good friend, he would let Marcus go for good.

Yet, with every passing day, Reis grew more attached to him, and in more ways than one. He couldn't lie to himself anymore; Marcus was amazing, and beautiful in every way. His light brown eyes. His soft fur, and the way it matched his eyes. His large ears. The markings on his muzzle. The way he could fit under his chin when they hugged. He was compassionate. Dedicated. Resilient. Strong. Brave. Sensitive. Cute. Loyal. Reis didn't think he was gay, but he didn't need to be in order to love Marcus in every way imaginable. He wanted to be everything to him. He wanted, in every aspect, to be his lover.

He was wrong, and selfish to have that desire. Reis simply cared too much about Marcus to take him as a lover. And yet, too much not to.

It tore him apart every single day, now.

A couple cigarettes later, his phone buzzed, and Marcus' name showed up. He read the text.

"may be a bit early to ask but when you think your car will be fixed?"

Reis sighed, and paused for a minute before responding.

"Not long at all if the axle isn't damaged, the main problem is the tire came off the rim. Besides, I can't believe you still want to ride to school with me."

Buzz.

"i told my parents that it wasn't your fault"

Sigh.

"This isn't about what your parents think. It's about your safety, Marcus. Your parents should have told you not to ride with me anymore, honestly."

Reis lit another cigarette.

Buzz.

"I trust you, Reis! I've always trusted you... yes, you made a mistake yesterday. everyone fucks up, and all you can do is learn from your mistakes. what's done is done, its not gonna stop me from riding with you. I enjoy it too much, anyways"

Reis bit his lip, whimpering, and pressing the phone against his chest. He wanted to cry again.

"that's the problem. Trusting me is a really bad idea, Marcus."

Reis flipped over and lay on his front as he took a long drag.

Buzz.

"don't talk like that, it hurts. I've trusted you forever, and I'm not gonna stop trusting you"

Reis whined into his pillow. It hurts fucking badly.

"That's what I'm afraid of. Anyways, even if you trust me, I don't trust me, so I'm not driving you to school anymore. I'm sorry, Marc, I promise it has nothing to do with you."

Having sent that, Reis turned his phone off, as every text he sent and recieved hurt him more and more. He put out his cigarette, tossed the phone in his nightstand drawer, took out a bottle of OxyContin, took two, cut the light and laid down. He curled up a little, grabbing the two pillows nearest to him, resting his head on one as he held the other between his legs.

I'm sorry, Marcus...

***

"Why aren't you eating?" There was no hiding the immense worry in Marcus' voice. He knew that the complete absence of appetite was the first sign that something was terribly wrong, and this was by no means the first time that Reis had showed up at the lunch table with nothing to eat.

"Not hungry." insisted Reis, resting his head on his arms. Marcus' eyes grew wide with worry.

"But... but Reis... Reis, you need to eat!" When Reis made no indication of an intent to move, Marcus shoved his nearly full tray against him, sloshing some chocolate milk onto his arm in doing so. "Please..."

"I don't feel well, Marcus..." Reis buried his muzzle under his elbow, covering his eyes with his paw.

"Reis, who the hell do you think I am??" Marcus put a paw on Reis' shoulder. "I KNOW when it's as simple as you not feeling well. I KNOW that something is seriously wrong."

Reis shook his head softly.

"REIS!"

"I don't want you to worry about me, Marcus." He elbowed the tray back towards Marcus. "I'd rather you eat it, that would make me feel better. Everything's fine."

"But everything ISN'T, Reis, and you know that I know it." Marcus pushed the tray to the middle of the table, moving it out of the way. He grasped Reis' heavy arm and moved it away from his face so that the wolf's blue eyes became visible. Marcus laid his cheek on his own arm so that he could look directly into Reis' still face. He reached out and buried his paw in the thick, coarse fur on Reis' neck. Marcus pet him softly, feeling his pulse and massaging his neck muscles. "Don't tell me not to worry about you. That's not who I am, nor has it ever been, nor will it ever be." Marcus ran his thumb from the corner of Reis' lips to the bottom of his jaw, gently scritching his cheek, wishing desperately that he could just scrub and scrape away everything that had ever hurt his best friend. He knew beyond a doubt that something serious was currently affecting him.

Reis' heart pounded. He closed his eyes in a mixture of elation and excruciating pain. He turned his head so that his forehead was pressed into the hard surface. He choked back the urge to scream, instead gritting his teeth, reaching underneath the table and digging his nails deeply into his calves.

"Gotta piss..." he mumbled, rather unconvincingly, as he seemingly darted up from his seat, pivoting towards the door.

"Reis, PLEASE talk to me, buddy..." Marcus pleaded as Reis hurried out.

The minute that Reis had left the cafeteria, he reached inside his left pocket, feeling for his bottle. He fumbled with it for a minute, cursing.

Still gone.

He reached inside his right pocket, pulling out his phone. He found Notch's number.

"hey, I need a spike, meet me in the locker room if you can."

He walked in long, anxious strides towards the locker rooms. The radiant heat was such that the few people wandering the halls stepped to the side when he passed them.

You're a spineless sack of dicks, Reis.

He turned a corner, saw nobody in sight, and punched the brick wall as hard as he could. As he continued walking, blood ran down the length of his digits, but he felt nothing.

You don't even deserve the numbness that the smack brings you, fucking coward.

"I will fucking end you, you piece of shit, you're the reason I am the way I am. You're the reason I have to be alone," thought Reis, loudly enough to hear, seemingly.

You blame me for everything, while you know that I'm only another part of you. What does that say about you?

"GHH... Fucking SHUT UP!!!" he said aloud, nearly yelling, breaking into a run.

Upon finally reaching the locker room, he noticed blood trickling down his calves as well.

"Fuck." He walked to the sinks, yanked a few paper towels from the dispenser, wet them, and pressed them against the bleeding clawmarks.

"Reis?"

Reis nearly gasped in surprise, not having noticed anyone when he walked in. The voice belonged to Karma, a dark-furred lion who was also a fellow athlete. He was naked, save for a towel around his waist. Reis sighed.

"Don't ask," he said plainly, continuing to dab at his wounds.

"Eh, okay..." Karma closed the locker that he had been digging in. "I, eh... I hope everything's alright."

"I'm fine," Reis insisted. "Have you seen Notch today?"

Karma's expression suddenly became grave. "Ohhhhh... Man, you haven't heard?"

Reis' eyes went from narrow and tired to wide and urgent as he registered the weight in Karma's voice. "W-What happened?"

"Dude..." Karma tossed the shirt he was holding onto the bench and stepped towards Reis. The wolf froze, muzzle agape as Karma put a paw on his shoulder. "Notch is gone, man..."

***

Marcus practically threw his bike down on the unkempt lawn as he reached Reis' home. His mother didn't appear to be home, so Marcus didn't figure he had any need to knock.

He ran onto the porch and swung open the front door, afraid of what he might find inside. He froze for a minute as he stood within the foyer, debating over where he might find Reis.

He sighed, running a paw anxiously over his ears as he shut the door behind him and made his way into the living room. He was panicking unduly. It wasn't like Reis-

...There he was, laid out on the wooden floor in front of the coffee table, wearing nothing but a pair of sweats, a half-empty bottle of Aristocrat resting by his left paw. He lay still.

"R- REIS!" called Marcus, petrified in his tracks with terror.

"Calm down, Marcus, I'm alive," Reis mumbled into the ground.

"I- I-" Marcus stammered, breathing heavily. He made a conscious effort to collect himself as he sat on his knees by his friend's side. "I realize that, but..." Marcus bit his lip, before collapsing onto Reis' back. It took every ounce of his will not to break into tears. He rested his cheek on one shoulder blade, his paw on the other. "Goddammit, you scared the everliving fucking shit outta me, Reis..." He balled his fist, wanting desperately to squeeze the wolf for all his life was worth. "I've been worried..." This was a gross understatement of how Marcus really felt, but he was aware of his tendency to overthink, overworry, and overreact. He had prayed all day that his worry was for nothing.

"I know, Marc..." Reis pulled his arms up under his head in an effort to appear less dead. "I suppose you know what's happened by now..."

"Yeah... Heroin overdose..." Marcus stated glumly. Reis nodded his head weakly. "I..." Marcus pressed his forehead against the back of Reis' neck, kneading and squeezing his shoulders in true sympathy. "I'm so sorry, Reis... I can't even say anything productive. I mean, I can only fucking imagine... I know you were good friends with Notch."

Reis was good friends with Notch. However, Notch was now dead, and therefore, not worth his worry. Reis' fear was for someone else entirely.

"I can only imagine," repeated Marcus. "I mean, if you..." He reached out and grasped one of the wolf's paws out of impulse. "If you were... If it... I don't know what..." Marcus failed to fully construct his sentence, but it registered. Reis felt his stomach twist in a physical agony that he could only recognize as a mixture of shame and fear. His fists balled.

A faint scent of dried blood occured to Marcus. It made his insides instinctively churn with anxiety. It was now that he noticed the state of Reis' right paw, the one he was currently holding; Upon further scrutiny, he realized that the fur on Reis' knuckles was heavily saturated with blood.

"Oh my god, Reis, your paw!" Marcus shuffled to Reis' other side so that Reis could actually see him, continuing to examine the injured appendage.

"What?" said Reis, stupidly.

"What?!? REIS, what the HELL do you mean, 'what?!?'" Marcus instantly saw through Reis' feigned apathy. He knew how the paw had been battered. Marcus held it in his own paw, and placed his other on Reis' forearm. "Reis... You CAN'T do this anymore!" he pleaded desperately.

"And why not, Marcus?" said Reis with a tone of defiant hopelessness. Marcus squeezed his forearm.

"Why NOT??? Reis! If you truly must ignore all other reasons, then because it tears me apart to watch you hurt yourself!"

"Well, that's the FUCKING PROBLEM, MARCUS!" Reis yelled, knocking the plastic bottle of Vodka across the room, standing up, tearing his arm away from Marcus' grasp and pounding his other fist on the coffee table, all in one swift, spontaneous motion. Marcus flinched, scrambling backwards on the floor as Reis stood, hunched over and wavering dangerously, threatening to topple over on him. "I HURT people, ESPECIALLY myself!" Marcus looked as if he had been knocked flat by a punch. "For SO FUCKING LONG now I've battled with this... this... fucking FEAR!" Reis flung his paws over his head, pulling down on his neck and digging his claws into his skull. Blood rushed into his face as he curled his lips, eyes screwed shut. "FUCK!!!" He fell flat on his rear without an attempt to brace himself.

"Reis!" cried Marcus, bolting upright towards his fallen friend.

"NO!" Reis violently smacked Marcus' paw as it reached out for him. Marcus gasped softly, clasping his paw against his chest as he stood, frozen. "You CAN'T pull me up, Marcus! And I can't..." He attempted to stand again, but tripped, this time catching himself on the wall. He hammered the wall with his uninjured fist, the sound of disintegrating drywall echoing in the empty house. "...and I can't drag you down, Marcus... I... I won't... It doesn't..." Reis fell to his knees, holding his crippled paws against the wall over his head. "It doesn't take someone as smart as you to see that I'm no good for you."

"But..." Marcus apprehensively made his way over, sinking to his own knees behind his friend. "Reis..." he whined softly. "Y- you bring me nothing BUT good! Y- you always have, and you know that!"

"Oh yeah?" Reis chuckled darkly, turning around and sinking back onto his rear, leaning his back against the wall. "Well I wonder what the fuck my car would have to say about that..."

"Reis, I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE! EVERYONE makes mistakes, but you can only move on; You CAN'T let them get in the way of the good things that you have in your life!"

"Move on? In what direction, Marcus? Up? Well, I've a history of moving in the opposite direction, until all the good things in my life disappear. Good people have come into my life, but most have had enough sense to disappear." Tears of despair now began rolling down Marcus' cheeks. "I'm going down. I'm DROWNING, Marcus, and I'm fucking telling you that you'll drown too if you try to help me. I care too fucking much about you to let that happen, and I absolutely will NOT."

"Well..." Marcus began to sob. "Ww-what the hell do you suggest I do, then??? I CAN'T just LEAVE you! I don't know who the hell I am if I can't be here for you! I... I..." He buried his now tear-soaked cheeks in his paws, biting his lip and sobbing hard through his nose for a time as he sunk to his knees. "Y-y-you're telling m-me t- t- to just ll-LEAVE you??"

"Yes, Marcus..." said Reis despondently. "If... If there's a choice between dying alone, or having you suffer WITH me, I swear to GOD I'm dying alone. Push me aside. Let me go." His own voice wavered, breath becoming short as tears began to well in his own eyes. "Find someone t-that will... that... ww-will..." His face twisted suddenly in torment. He stood, took one last look at Marcus, and fled unceremoniously through the foyer and out the front door, leaving Marcus crying on his knees in the living room.

***

Reis reached up and put his visor down, shielding his sensitive eyes from the setting sun as he approached exit 281, re-entering a very familiar environment. He had left his home some hours before, considerably more inebriated than he was now, and driven aimlessly on the interstate until the need for intoxication became sharp enough to bring him full circle back to his hometown.

He figured he'd finish off the liquor, then attempt to tap into a new supply of illicit substances through his network of online friends. He only hoped that Marcus had gotten enough sense to leave already.

In all honesty, Reis didn't know how he would possibly interact with Marcus the next time they happened to meet. Reis knew that he must be hurting. Reis hated himself with every fiber of his being for everything he had said to Marcus, even though those very thoughts had been drilling at the inner walls of his mind for what seemed like eternity.

What he wanted more than anything was to find Marcus, squeeze the hell out of him, cry on his shoulder and beg for forgiveness. He ached for that, painfully. He needed Marcus. However, he couldn't imagine how Marcus needed him. He had resolved over and over that he couldn't in good conscience even pretend that he was good for Marcus.

He had warred endlessly with himself on that subject, and continued to do so as he rode absent-mindedly down his road. Internal conflict seemed to be all that Reis knew for the most part, and psychoactive substances always seemed to be the most effective remedy.

The conflict momentarily subsided, however, the second that Reis opened his front door. The first thing that he picked up his peripheral vision was Marcus. He hadn't left. He lay still on the floor, almost right where Reis had been lying before he left. The acrid scent of fresh blood filled Reis' nostrils, zapping every nerve in his body with terror.

His body went numb and his pupils dilated, but seemingly before he had made a deliberate movement, he was right at his friend's side. He kneeled, gripping Marcus' cheeks in his paws, pressing nose to nose as he frantically summoned the fox to speak.

"Marcus!!! MARCUS!" Reis patted one cheek with his paw. He saw that Marcus was conscious, if only faintly. His eyes weakly rolled forward to meet Reis' panicked gaze. "Say something, buddy, talk to me, please!" A small puddle of blood had collected just under his head, trickling slowly through his headfur from a gash between his ears.

Marcus squinted his eyes. "Y... You're back, Reis..." Reis gasped softly in relief upon hearing coherent speech, and he could have sworn he saw a weak smile appear on Marcus' muzzle.

"Oh my fucking god, Marc..." Reis cried, cradling Marcus' head in his paws and pressing his cheek against the fox's muzzle. Marcus rubbed Reis' wrist with his thumb reassuringly, if weakly. Reis laid his head down gently, grabbing a white tee from off the floor nearby, folding it into a neat square on his knee. He laid it across the wound on Marcus' head and held it there as he grabbed another tee, which was luckily readily available in the messy living room. He twisted it, wrapped it under Marcus' jaw, and tied it snugly over his head, securing the makeshift gauze pad in place.

"You're okay, Marcus... You'll be okay..." Reis assured softly, reaching one arm under Marcus' thighs and supporting his back with the other, effortlessly lifting him off the floor and laying him gently down on the sofa. He grabbed a throw pillow off the floor and propped it underneath Marcus' head.

"Don't move, I'll be right back, okay?" he said, petting Marcus' shoulder.

"I won't," said Marcus. Reis stood up and walked briskly into the kitchen.

He returned some five minutes later, setting a large cup of ice water on the coffee table. He set a straw in it, and handed it to Marcus. "Sip on this, okay?" Marcus took the cup and drank a bit before handing it back to Reis, who set it back on the table as he sat on the floor beside the couch. "The ambulance should be here in a bit. Whatever you do, just don't fall asleep, okay? I'll be right here." Marcus nodded.

The two sat in silence for a time, Reis placing a comforting paw on Marcus' chest as Marcus stared up at the ceiling. It was a few minutes before Reis spoke again.

"Who did this, Marcus?" There was no detectable spite in his voice; only worry and care. Marcus sighed, mentally recalling the image of his assailant.

"Some... some big rottie. I think he knew Notch; Said he had an unsettled debt to collect on. He was looking to see you."

"Fuck... Scribner... Yeah, I know that bastard."

"Well, he said he needed to see you, and that he was gonna keep me here until you came back. I wasn't gonna let him have a chance at hurting you, so I tried tackling him."

"Dammit, Marcus..." Reis whimpered, squeezing Marcus' shoulder. "You know I never in a MILLION years would let you take a bullet for me..."

"Well, I won, anyways..." Marcus smirked softly, rubbing his head. "I mean, he's gone now."

"Marcus..." Reis' face curled as his stomach twisted, and the smarmy grin disappeared from the fox's muzzle. Reis let his head fall on Marcus' shoulder. "You... you shouldn't have stayed."

Marcus draped an arm across Reis' back. "Reis..." he said softly. After a pause between the two, Marcus planted a subtle kiss on top of the wolf's head. "I can't believe you even half-expected me to leave."

Reis shut his eyes. Indeed, a part of him had expected Marcus to be there when he returned home, as much as he hated to admit it.

"Marcus..." Reis braced the arm that wasn't draped across Marcus' midsection against the edge of the couch cushions. "About what I said... Earlier..."

"Reis..." Marcus massaged the back of Reis' neck affectionately, allowing his digits to disappear underneath the thick, shaggy fur. "As I said... I don't even know who I am if I can't be here for you. It's who I am."

"But, Marcus..." whimpered Reis, now choking back tears. "You... You have so much good going for you, and so far to go without me holding you back. I..." He gulped. "I'm... It should be clear that I'm no good for you. You... You should have left, Marcus. I..."

"Enough." Marcus interrupted sharply. "Reis, you are THE biggest and best thing in my life." He managed to wriggle a paw into his shirt pocket. He gently clasped a small photograph in his nails, holding it in front of Reis' muzzle for him to see. "You always have been."

Reis would have gasped if it weren't for his heart launching into his throat and choking him. He clasped Marcus' wrist with his paw and held it so his eyes could better focus on the photo. It was an old photo that Marcus had found posted on Reis' fridge. It was from Marcus' tenth birthday. He had gotten a bicycle from his grandmother. However, he didn't know how to ride it. In the photo, Reis was attempting to teach him. He had his arms around Marc's shoulders, bracing the handlebars with his paws as Marcus pedaled. Reis stared into the photo for what felt like an hour, wistful tears welling up in his eyes even as he fought them with all his might. He held the photo in his own paw, and Marcus' paw moved to rub Reis' cheek.

"You aren't dying alone, Reis. It won't happen. You and I... WE'RE gonna die together, or we're gonna live together. No matter what you say, I'm never leaving." Marcus gave Reis' head another gentle peck. "You aren't just my friend. You're a part of me, Reis. Watching you hurt yourself is the equivalent of hurting myself. I... I can't do it." Marcus wrapped his arms around the wolf's large head, hugging him in earnest as he buried his muzzle in his headfur.

"W-well..." Reis choked, on the brink of sobbing. "I g-guess, if I mean that much to you, then that should be enough f-for me to c-care about myself as well..." Reis looked into the photo for a few more seconds, then in a single instant dropped it, his paw snaking over to Marcus' ribs as he began to cling. It felt like a dam rupturing inside him as built up tears spilled freely from his eyes onto Marcus' chest.

"It's all my d-damn f-f-fault, Marcus... I..." he sobbed.

"Shhh... No..." said Marcus, pulling the wolf in closer and nuzzling him between his ears.

"I- I've been s-so fucking selfish..." Reis kneaded his digits into Marcus' flesh, clinging to him like a lifeline. "The fear... I let it... It took over, Marcus... I let it... I was..." Marcus silenced him with a paw on his muzzle, rubbing a thumb softly over his whiskers.

"No, Reis... Stop..." Marcus cooed, holding his friend as shamelessly as one would hold a lover. "As long as I'm here, you don't have anything to be afraid of. As long as we have each other, nothing can fucking touch us... I promise you."

"N-n-nothing..." Reis whimpered into Marcus' paw, shifting on his knees in an attempt to gain more leverage in squeezing the fox around his middle.

When Reis cupped his ear against Marcus' chest, he could hear the fox's heartbeat. Feeling it thump against his cheek gave him a renewed sense of strength. Every breath that Marcus took as they held one another cleansed his own mind and soul, and in that moment, he felt that he could see clearly for the first time in years. He realized that he could do anything. It occured to him that he could finally let go.

Fear. Rage. Spite. Regret. All those things that had polluted his heart, driven him, confused him, and made him blind to the wonderful things that had been right beside him his whole life, could be let go.

For several minutes, the two friends held one another as if they had been without one another for decades. Gradually, Reis' sobbing began to subside. If they had had more time, Reis may have considered curling up on the couch as well. For now, he just rested his head just below Marcus' jaw, taking immense comfort in the fact that the fox would gladly hold him like this for as many hours as were allowed.

A question as to whether he and Marcus were, for all intents and purposes, lovers, had occurred to Reis more than once. He now figured that perhaps this was true. However, it also occurred to him that he couldn't care less about the name they gave their relationship. He now realized just how silly and pretentious the idea was that one could define a relationship based on the name it was given.

Whether they were "lovers," or "just friends," was of absolutely no consequence. There were only a couple things that Reis knew beyond question; One, that Marcus was his best friend. Two, Reis loved Marcus wholeheartedly. Three, had he his way, he could never let anything get in the way of showing that love in full.

After some time, Reis reached into his pocket. The two canines momentarily let go of one another as he fished out a pack of Newports. Reis placed the nearly-empty pack on Marcus' chest, and left it there.

Marcus picked up the small box and turned it over in his paw, somewhat perplexed. "W-why are you giving me these?"

"Because I figure you'll know what to do with them." Reis smiled weakly, but warmly all the same. "I have very important things in my life to take care of; My nicotine addiction isn't one of them."

Marcus studied Reis and the pack alternately for a moment, before smiling, and slipping the cigarettes into his pocket. "I'll take care of them."

Marcus once again reached out and wrapped his arms around Reis' head, pulling him back in and pressing cheek to cheek.

Reis pulled away, turned towards the window, ears perked. They quickly drooped when he noticed red lights flashing through the curtains.

"Hey, Reis..." Marcus reached out and grabbed the wolf's paw, clasping it between his own. "I'll see you soon?"

Reis looked at Marcus, and squeezed his paw reassuringly, vowing once more in that moment to never again forget the single most worthwhile aspect of his life. "Very."