Refusal
#3 of In the life after (1)
The part with my sister is based on my rl. It was really frustrating...
"Do you think Will would be okay with us?" I ask casually as I look through the number of stuffed toys on the shelf.
"Will? Why are you suddenly asking that?" he questions as he pull out a white fluffy owl from the pile, "How about this one?"
"Are you being serious? I'm trying to find one that isn't looking derpy," I say as I took the owl from his hands and stuffs it back onto the self, "Put more effort into it will you? Well, 'cause your parents already know what's going on between us, the news will spread to him, isn't it? It can't be that all of you are going to keep him in the dark, no?"
"Of course not," Jo says while cracking his neck, "But it doesn't matter whether he is okay or not. If my parents are okay, he wouldn't be able to stop us no matter what."
"That's not what I'm trying to bring up," I turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow.
"I know, I know," Jo says while placing his hands on my shoulder to guide me to walk on, "I'm sure he would be fine with us, honey. Perhaps a little shocked like my parents, but nothing more negative than that. I guess no one thought that best friends could become boyfriends... we might be the first."
We walk slowly down the aisle as he guides me, "Honestly, I also didn't think we would be together. Best friends to boyfriends seems like a fairytale... well, a gay fairytale."
My grey wolf giggles behind me, "Gay or not, I don't mind if it's a fairytale if we live our lives happily ever after. I don't think we can find your non derpy plushie here."
"There has to be a normal looking plushie here, there's so many of them!" I say as I move to the next shelf to find. My ears pick up a groan coming from Jo. "I don't enjoy doing this too, okay. But I'm not going to give up just yet," I say with a lazy flick of my tail, brushing it against him.
"But it's sooooo boring..." Jo grumbles as he sticks his left paw into the pile and grabs a random plushie. Staring back at him was just another awkward looking stuff toy, so Jo promptly tosses it back onto the shelf.
"I am bored too," I say as I look through the shelf, "You insist to follow me earlier, okay."
"Yes, yes," Jo sighs and pulls me into a hug, "I just want to spend more time with you..."
I feel his muzzle trying to nip at my neck, which I elbow him in response, "Careful now, we're in public, big boy. Can't have too much PDA."
"Aww," Jo pouts, "But I want them to see. I don't mind them seeing us either. And you're the most fun thing around here right now."
"But still, let's not get into trouble, yes?" I say as I take another plushie to examine.
"Aren't we in an open society?" Jo says while taking a whiff at my head fur, "You're such a tease."
"Yeah right," I reply, "It's just in the name. I'm still afraid of either of us getting mugged on the streets at night after telling people about us."
I hear him chuckle behind me. "I'm going to protect you forever, remember?" Jo says softly to my right ear.
"I know you are," I say, placing back the plushie and turn to him, "But fangs and claws can only do so much against blades and bullets..."
He pats my head and laughs, "My wolf is over thinking again. We're supposed to live happily ever after, remember?"
When I hear that, I feel a smile crawling on my muzzle. Jo's doing his magic to make me happy again. "Thank you," I say to him and tiptoe to kiss him on his cheek.
He blushes lightly and scratches his neck while giving a bashful look. I don't know how he's confident when he does all this little acts of affection, but when I reciprocate he goes all shy and becomes maddeningly cute.
"You know what?" I say to him, "Maybe you're right. They might not have a decent plushie here. I think even if I could find one I would want it for myself since they are so rare. Should I get a card instead?"
"Couldn't you have decided on this earlier?" Jo grumbles in annoyance, "I told you there's no need to go so far to settle on this gift."
"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, my big boy," I smile at him and plant another kiss on his nose.
My grey wolf gives his goofy grin, "I don't mind if you're gonna kiss me like that every time."
I roll my eyes and smile, "Well, this was my fault after all, so you deserve it."
"Really?" Jo raises his eyebrow, "That's all?"
"W-what do you mean that's all?" I ask cautiously, my wolf is always surprising me ever since he was courting me, so I can't help but be wary.
"Well..." he grins at me, making me more uneasy, "I was thinking that I want to be greedy and ask for a bigger reward."
"What bigger reward?" I ask softly. I know I am already sinking into his trap, but there is nothing else I can actually say.
"Oh, it's nothing much; I simply want to continue what we left off the other time, you know," he says with a wider grin before whispering softly in my ear, "the primitive act led by our instincts before we were interrupted, alpha."
I blush beetroot under my fur in embarrassment as he reminds me of that day where we were about to...
"S...S-Shut up!" I stutter as I quickly walk away from Jo out of the store. I hear his laugh and his footsteps as he runs over to chase after me. "Okay, okay," he says loudly after me, "Calm down, honey!"
I stop myself and turn to him with my arms crossed, sighing in exasperation.
"Honey, you've got to stop running away from me man," Jo huffs softly.
"You started it..." I say in defence.
"I was being honest!" my grey wolf retorts with his subtle pout.
"I know you are," I sigh, "I ran because I'm embarrassed. You were whispering embarrassing stuff to me..."
"My dear Typh, if you ever need to hide because you're embarrassed, you could always use me, you know... Like this," he says before using his paw to pull my muzzle and rest on his chest, "See? And it's comfy too."
"You keep doing all these embarrassing things..." I say to his chest, "I'm hiding now."
I feel his chest vibrate as he chuckles and squeeze me into a hug, "You're just too cute, honey. I can't emphasize that enough."
After a while I shift my muzzle to look up from his chest and find my Jo looking back down with a winning smile. Gosh, how did I ever get to snag this hunk of a grey wolf? Why haven't I notice him before?
I silently thank my lucky stars as I stand there in his arms. For that brief period of time, whether people were looking at us or not, I didn't care. I guess this is how it is supposed to be. No interruption, no disgusted stare, just Jo and I sharing a simple embrace on the street.
"What's wrong?" he asks while tilting his head slightly, "Is there something on my muzzle?"
"N-nothing," I say quietly; thinking fast to distract him before another teasing session arise, "You wanna get anything to eat while we're here?"
Food is still the best distraction for my big wolf, as he looks around while still holding me. "Hmm..." he says while he ponders before lighting up again, "How about that mille crepe cake?"
He pulls me by my paw as we hold hands to the cafe, getting a seat and ordering the dessert. "See?" he says while the waiter walks off to process the order, "They didn't even stare when we walked in together, and you were worried about getting stabbed?"
"You don't understand," I bit my lip in annoyance, "We're still customers. And I'm concerned about my family not approving of us."
"Is that why you asked about Will?" Jo points out immediately while I nod, "What happened with your family? Did you tell them? Is it serious? Are you in trouble?"
He is asking so much different questions that I didn't know where to start answering. The waiter comes to my rescue as he places down the dessert and drinks on the table, keeping Jo quiet for a while. After he left, Jo grips my right paw with his left firmly. "Don't ever forget that I'll always be here, okay? And my parents, of course," he says with a worried look on his muzzle.
I wag my tail in response. How lucky I am to have Jo and his parents' support for this. Of course I hope that my family would be the same, but...
"It's nothing very serious, big boy," I say as I squeeze his hand back in confirmation, "I just spoke to my sister about me... You know? Just about me being gay first... I haven't told her about us though."
-
That night I was just like any other, going home after hanging out with Jo and friends. It just so happened that my sister was just idly chatting with me, telling me about all sort of things that she was going through. It was nothing really special, until she talked to me about breaking up with her bunny boyfriend. When she mentioned about her relationship status, I was reminded that I haven't actually updated my family about mine. I knew that they were not the most accepting people around and the risk to fail was higher here. Perhaps baby steps first?
I subtlety added into the conversation about my differences. She was being dumb as always; no matter how hard I tried to hint, she just couldn't get it. Well, maybe I just sucked at dropping hints for other people. But it's different; I don't feel as stressful as before. Was it because she was my sister? Since she's not catching any clues from me, I guess I'll just have to tell her directly.
"Lynn. I think I might like men more than women," I said. Perhaps that wasn't the most direct sentence, but it was close enough.
"Just because you haven't been with a girl doesn't mean you like guys more, you know," she said, "You should give yourself and the unknown girl a chance first before saying that."
I rolled my eyes inside at my ever bimbotic sister. She might be five years older, but she definitely isn't five years wiser. I always wondered how she managed to survive outside with her thinking. I guess having good looks does help you survive after all. She does look pretty to many, but sadly her intelligence wasn't as appealing as her looks. Maybe the world is fair in this way after all.
"Why do you make it sound like I'm choosing men over women?" I said, slightly irritated and insulted. I thought admitting was hard, but apparently explaining was harder.
"Are you not?" she crossed her arms and stood on one leg, "You are choosing men over women right now."
"This isn't a choice, it's a preference," I said with gritted teeth. I think her existence was to make things harder for me. I can't believe I'm trying to explain this to someone five years older than me. Isn't she supposed to have like five years' worth of experiences ahead of me? Or her mind simply couldn't grasp the idea of homosexuality?
"Are preferences not a choice?" she said idly, looking at her painted nails.
I raised my eyebrow at that, "Of course not... Duh? Why do some people prefer sushi over curry? Is it a choice to like something?"
"Just because you like sushi doesn't mean you can't have curry," she said, "That is just logical. Preference is a choice; just whether you want to or not. For goodness sake just because you haven't found a girl that you can have feelings with doesn't mean you should just give up all the girls in the world."
Logic my furry rump. Not only she's dim, she's also pathetically stubborn in her thoughts. I'm pretty sure that's because everyone else outside who like her for her looks always give in to her. That's why she's so spoilt in her thoughts, thinking that whatever she comes up with is the most logical, most correct answer. Half the time her arguments are always 'because I'm a girl'; I could just roll my eyes away every time. But she's not all that bad. Sometimes she thinks for the family and buys things to treat us, but that happens once in a while. Most of the time she's just thinking about herself, going out to have fun with her friends and only coming home to either sleep or vent her frustration on us when someone outside was unfair to her. Come and think of it, I have quite a dysfunctional family don't I? At least I know that if I ever get into trouble, I wouldn't rely on her. Well, maybe my parents. I'll rather get a loan than to borrow college funds from her.
Well anyway, it seems that she simply don't want to admit to have a gay brother. That's fine with me, it's not as though I was expecting anything much different from my family.
"I don't know about you. But if it is really a choice, I won't choose to like men. It's not as though I never thought about how much harder my life will be if I choose to like men. I will choose to like girls any day; go to church, find a girl, find a job, settle down and have kids? Sure. But I can't," I said, sighing before sitting down on my bed, "You know what, forget it. I'm gonna sleep."
She looked at me for a while and turned to leave. "Good night," she said softly.
-
"Hmm," Jo says with the fork on his lips, "Is she currently trying to introduce girls to you then?"
"Nope. Gosh I hope not. I don't think she cares about me that much though."
"Why don't you tell her about us? It's not that I'm angry or anything, but maybe she is more receptive to the idea of us?" Jo asks, cutting another piece of cake to bite.
"I don't know; I was already so tired that day of trying to explain things to her... Actually if I told her about us it might be even worse. Imagine that I have to explain to her why my best friend became my boyfriend?" I say with a shudder, "That will one hell of an explanation."
"Is it that hard to believe about us?" Jo frowns and raises his hand into the air. I didn't think much about it, he is probably just finding more food for himself.
One of the staff comes over to us and I wanted to kill Jo because the first thing he asks is, "Do you find the idea that best friends becoming-"
"JO!" I half shouted at him with a hard pinch on his arm and turns to the arctic fox, "Sorry, don't mind him. Uh, can you just refill water for us?"
The fox stares at us with a confused look. "O...kay?" he says slowly and turns away to get the jug of water. I made a mental note to tip 'Luke' later on. "Are you nuts?! You gotta stop doing things like this man..." I close my eyes and pat my forehead.
"Well, I just needed another opinion, you know," Jo sighs with a pout and nibbles on the last piece of cake, "Fine. As you wish, my dear."
"Here's your water," the fox interrupts and pours into our glasses. I glare at Jo in case he tries anything funny again.
"Hey you all," a familiar deep voice greets all of us. I look up in surprise to find our good old sheriff looking back at us. Actually he isn't that old, nearing thirties if I'm not wrong, but he has been around since I was a growing pup so it makes him old in our dictionary.
The arctic fox looks shocked to see the dog. "I forgot about the time! I'll get changed now," he says as he hurriedly moves to the staff entrance. The german shepherd chuckles at turn back to us, "It's you two again."
"Yeah... What brings you here today?" Jo asks.
"Oh, nothing. I'm just here to pick Luke. I have my own personal life too, pups," he grins at us.
"We're not that much younger than you okay," Jo argues, "And since when you had such young friends?"
The dog grins even wider and folds his arms, "I've watch you two grow up for years already, so you're still pretty much a pup to me. Anyway, I have a large circle of-"
"I'm done!" the arctic fox calls out. He changed from the uniform into some casual wear, looking quite different from before.
"Okay, let's go," the dog says before waving to us, "See you two around, I guess."
We bid them both farewells as they walk out of the store.
"Kinda fishy isn't he? Maybe they are together like us too!" Jo jokes.