Russian It? Chapter 19

Story by JaketheCoon on SoFurry

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#28 of Road Rovers

some mild language. thanks to :userredblood: for the idea


It wasn't until the next morning when I saw Exile acting a bit strange. The day started like every other morning: I woke up in Exile's room, seeing him already out of bed. I walked into the kitchen and made myself some breakfast. It wasn't until I was halfway done with my cereal that I noticed Exile standing before me on the other side of the table, his face stern.

"Hey," I greeted, "what's up?"

No reply.

"Hello?"

"Would you care to explain that mysterious scar on your wrist?" he questioned.

I looked down. Shit! "Um...that's been there."

"No, it hasn't. I know you better than anyone else. This happened recently. Tell me." He ordered.

"How long did you notice?"

"Since last week. I thought it was just my eyes playing tricks on me, but after a couple of days, I knew it was real. Now, tell me."

For a while, I gave him no response. My face grew pale. I couldn't tell him that I had almost committed suicide. That would be...suicide!

"Um, I...fell?" I finally uttered.

"Do I look stupid to you?" His eyes narrowed.

"Of course not."

"Then why are you deliberately LYING TO ME!?" He shouted at the top of his lungs at the last three words. It made me jump. I had to fess up. He was already pissed enough already, so mind as well. I lowered my head, trying to muffle the words out, but to no avail.

"I...tried to...commit suicide. By slicing my wrist."

His eyes grew wide, with sadness and guilt and regret now showing instead. "Jay...why would you do something like that?"

"I...honestly don't know."

"You don't know? Jay, this obviously wasn't an accident! You had a purpose behind this whole thing! Come on, tell me, boy! What made you want to do this!?"

Tears started to shed from my eyes. "I did it because I feel like that I don't belong here!" I confessed. "Every day I ask myself the same question, over and over: 'What is my purpose in life?', and every day I never get an answer. What's even the point anymore?"

"I'm the point!" he shouted back. "You've told me every day that you love me, that you never want to leave me! Have you..." He trailed off for a second, tears starting to shed in his eyes. "Have you been lying to me this whole time? Have you not wanted to be with me at all? Was this whole relationship thing some kind of American joke!?"

"Of course not, Exile! I love you more than anything in the world! I want to be with you forever! I want you to marry me, DAMMIT!!"

Suddenly he froze. I froze. Everything stood still, as if time in itself froze as well. Exile's lips parted, as if he was ready to say something...but nothing came out. For about five minutes he was like that. He finally said something shortly after.

"Is...is that true?"

"Is what true?" My tears now starting to dry.

"That you want to marry me?"

"Um...yes. I want to be your wife. More than anything."

"And you don't want to be with anyone else?"

"No."

Silence.

Exile seated himself and rested his head in his hands, as if trying to make sense of everything. Was I lying to him still? Or was I actually telling him the truth? He didn't know. I got up and sat beside him, resting my hands on his right arm, trying to make an effort to comfort him.

"Exile, please say something. You're scaring me," I begged.

"I just don't know," he finally murmured.

"Don't know what?"

"If I should marry you. This is going so fast. It scares me, Jay. It really does."

"Exile, I didn't say marry me right this second. I don't want to rush you. Not in the least. We'll take it slow, if that's what you really want. I swear."

"But I don't want you to wait," he confessed. "I don't want to be a burden to you. Ever. But, like I said about a minute ago, this scares me. A lot."

"What does?" I urged. "This?"

"No. Well, yes. But it's not just this in itself. It's marriage. Commitment. Everything that's related to the subject. Everything."

"Now, come on, Exile. You shouldn't be afraid of this. This, what we have now, is something beautiful. What we have doesn't happen right off the bat. It rarely ever does. I love you, Exile. And I promise to never attempt to hurt myself again. You taught me that, right just now. Please, get up and come with me." I held out my left hand.

Exile comprehended and grabbed hold. I lifted him up and guided him down the hall, into my room.

"What're we doing in here?" he asked.

"I want to show you something," I replied, pulling him towards my dresser. "Wait here."

I looked under my bed and crawled under it, digging through various pieces of junk to show Exile's surprise.

"Did I ever tell you that I don't like surprises either," he murmured.

"Don't worry, I promise that it's nothing gross or anything," I soothed. With a bit of an effort, I finally crawled back out and held out my hands, showing Exile something that was wrapped in newspaper.

"What is it?" he finally asked.

"Unwrap it," I ordered, but with a soft tone.

He did as I commanded and started to unwrap his mysterious gift. After he finished, his eyes grew wide one more. Before him was a little clay heart and a little sheet of paper with a poem written on it. It said:

For the One who is Brave and True,

Is who I will give this heart to.

Now only does he comprehend,

But he also has a very precarious blend.

For you, Exile,

Is a heart that will run a mile,

No matter what the circumstance.

To you, my Love.

~Jay

Exile stared at the letter, more-than-likely surprised at what the words on the paper said, no doubt.

"Jay..." he finally uttered, "you...made this...for me?"

I nodded.

Tears started to welt in his eyes, touched.

"Y-you didn't need to do this," he stammered.

"Ah, but I did. I made this the second week that I worked with you guys."

"Really?"

"Uh huh." I smiled.

Exile put the heart and message on top of my dresser and lunged at me, embracing me in a hug. Tears started to fall from his cheeks, onto my left shoulder.

I patted his back, making an effort to comfort him. He let out a huge sob after my third pat. "Oh, Jay. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that earlier."

"No, no. It's okay," I soothed. "I needed it. I need to learn to not put myself first, no matter what."

Exile lifted his head up and looked at me, his face slightly red and puffy from the tears that were shed.

I raised my right hand, as if I was taking an oath. "I swear that nothing will ever come between us. Ever. I promise."

Exile stared at me for a moment, contemplating if I was really telling the truth or not. He finally made a decision and decided to trust me this one last time. He embraced me once more.

I promised Exile that I wasn't going to leave him; and that's what I was going to do, even if it killed me. No matter what.