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From Ice Cream to "Topping" - Arc 2 - Chapter 5

"Man, what are you going to do now Charlie...?" I thought to myself quietly and pensively so that entire afternoon; frozen with that very thought at the forefront of my mind as the day in its entirety seemed to pass me by quickly and with little more interruption in its ebb and flow.

As I rewound the day in my mind, what stood out in the Oscar category of the best of the worst was of course first Daniel's behavior, next Guile's warning, and then lastly down to Ty's confession. Truthfully, it all felt too heavy for one wolf to bear, especially seemingly alone, but unfortunately what my situation came down to was just that; myself having no one to talk to about my problems because the very same people I'd trust with my life are the root cause of all my problems of late.

But there at the end of it all, as I sat waiting impatiently outside my boyfriend's class for it to finish up so we could go home together, I began to ultimately question the most important amongst all these matters; whether even going home was even an option for us anymore.

Why my mind ran itself down this dark path now was a mystery even to me for once seeing as how my day had actually ran by as predictably best as it could in its own pacing I thought. From my classes themselves which breezed by swiftly enough to my classmates of course annoying me just the same as they always had, it all felt fine to me. But of course, like it was considered the norm, there were also my instructors who, and people mind you I had never even met before today, offered their shoulders of condolences to me because they saw the stress and worry rising I unknowingly wore across my face.

If I had been keeping score, in total, it was all pretty much the standard faire for this Charlie Fair... even if everyday I wished my life were different so to quench my own subjugation's curiosity; for once.

In response to all these crushing feelings, as the time passed that afternoon and whenever the chance presented itself throughout, I'd just take to looking out towards the sky through a nearby window and roughly run my paws over my ears and fur; trying best to calm my unsettled nerves. Instead though, and based entirely between the countless glances and glares I had received in doing so, I had ended up rubbing it all so rough and raw and countless times over it must have looked as though I was just struggling with a bad case of fleas.

Realistically however, what really bothered me then and kept my mind racing wasn't worrying about the collective student body's interpretations and misrepresentations of me, but rather about just how much I felt like an idiot; all because I'm afraid to stand up against the things in my life I feel are out of control.

And damn how that very list seems to grow worse and longer still everyday...

"How am I going to explain all of this to Daniel? Oh wait Charlie, yeah that's really smart; tell your bipolar boyfriend you're randomly breaking out in hysteria because you can't handle the breadth of your life anymore. Yeah that's sounds good..." I smirked awkwardly then and yet on the other side of that extreme felt a tear of mine roll down my cheek; myself only realizing then it happened by catching its reflection glinting against the rays from the sun.

In response, and with little concern driving my actions anymore at this point, I slammed my fist roughly against the wall nearest me then. It hurt of course, and drew attention instantly of multiple passersby, but I didn't care. Ultimately, I felt any distraction was welcome to me now if it at all subverted me away from the belief that my life had now fallen into this spiraling depression; one which remained stronger than any I had ever had to deal with in the past before.

What other explanation could there be I thought for my inability to get a handle on how I should feel, or why I felt powerless in everything I try to do to make anything feel alright anymore.

It all continued to eat away at me then, but as the sun rose higher in the sky and the heat from which began to build, life finally gave me something new to worry about...

"Hey, ya left this behind..." I heard someone standing close to me say then, although at first I thought they were mistaking for someone else and I shrugged them off. "Hey, are you okay? It's okay to cry ya know. I do it all the time."

It was then, as I saw a familiar textbook of mine being passed down to me that I raised my head finally and caught a glimpse of something... new, and impressive; well at least for lack of better defining vocabulary.

There in that moment, as if fate had given me a new gift, stood before me one of the tallest and most well constructed, if not a bit soft faced, polar bear's I had ever seen before around this city. His features at first stood out as muscular and yet lingered to second as homely as well, both of which fit him perfectly I thought as his plain black t-shirt hugged tightly against his frame, basically exposing his upper body and leaving nothing to the imagination; of which I felt no need to complain about at all.

As his every breath kept his chest expansive and his musculature defined, my eyes instead continued to wander further downwards on his person; towards a lower region of him, as I caught sight of his bulge innocently permeating through his pants.

In summation, and for lack of better markers, he was buff, fit, hung, and handsome.

"Ya okay? Would ya like me to call someone for ya?" He asked facetiously, knowing the answer to the question was an obvious yes, but still held compassion in his voice as he questioned.

"Umm... nah I'm good man. Where'd you find this?" I asked him as I looked over at my backpack sitting opposite to me, still completely zipped as I had left it earlier.

"Well ya just got out of Analytics 103: composition and deconstruction with Mr. Klempke right? I sat behind ya. Don't know if ya noticed me. Anyway, saw ya left it behind. Was just gonna give it back to ya next time but then I saw ya... here." He said as he looked around at everyone else who judgmentally and continually stared down in my direction.

"Well thanks for grabbing this for me. Kind of have a bad habit of always leaving something behind when it comes to this place hehe." I jokingly and just as impishly laughed at the end of my speech, remembering then that that very situation and circumstance was how Daniel had acquired his window of opportunity to wander into my life in the first place.

"No thanks needed; neighborly thing to do and all. Seriously though, ya look a bit, umm what is it ya city folk say... dis-troat? I can hang around if ya wanna talk. I've got time." He said as he kneeled down almost immediately towards me and began to reach out one of his massive paws in my direction; flinging it forward open handed so as to see his intentions were pure.

At first thought, I had simply intended to lean away from him, but as he caught me quickly and his grip firmly kept its weight held atop my shoulder, I felt an overwhelming sense of adrenaline work its way through my body then; numbing me happily in shamefully to admit inappropriate places.

Who was this guy? Why did he make me feel so good? But more importantly however; why did his vernacular sound so familiar to me...

"I think you mean distraught right? But no, I'm cool big guy. Can't you tell from how I wear my headphones?" I said then as I stood myself up, trying embarrassingly to pass off a clever quip but failing miserably at executing.

"Wow, who am I pretending to be for this guy; trying to pass off the only possible part of me that could be misconstrued for any sense of style at all." I thought overly critically off myself then as I harshly dismissed myself as just another nobody; very in line with what I had used to whenever it came to my appearances in the past.

"Well I don't know too much about cool, but I was thinking they do make ya look cute..." He said softly then, as if almost under his voice.

"Wait, what'd you say?" I asked quickly back right away; knowing a familiar yet always disastrous snowball was rolling its way down a sloped hill in my direction if the response was what I expected it was.

"Eh, oh it was nothing. Name's Derek by the way wolf guy. Derek O'telo." He said as his grip pulled away finally and extended itself out into a friendly well-meaning handshake instead.

"O'telo? Wait, no it can't be..." My mind spun almost instanly, wondering if this Derek was of somehow a relation to my elder friend Esther O'telo who ran O'telo's Panaderia down in the heart of Bellistall city; the very same place I had ran away from over six years ago.

"Wait, what did you say your last name was?" I questioned back, wanting to make sure I hadn't heard him wrong.

"Ah so ya've heard my name before. Yeah, my grams and I run the bakery downtown in Bellistall together. She's such a sweet old gal. Have ya ever been to our shop before... mister...?"

"Fair. Charlie Fair. And uh, yeah." I said as I shook my head happily in response and extended my paw out this time towards him to meet for the shake. "Your grandma and I go way back. I helped her out a lot while I was growing up to make some extra pocket change for my fam... well let's just say for spending money. Even helped her come up with a recipe once..." I said assuredly then and yet finally remembered the taste behind the same danish I had had earlier dispensed from the vending machine. "Wait a minute; did you guys start up like a multi-scale production of her confections or something?"

"Fair? As in F-A-I-R; ya joshing me right?" He said as he slapped his knee gleefully and smiled just as strongly. "I've heard about ya before. Gram's never stops talking about ya actually. Say's she owes ya some... royyalityes... or something like that. Say's she misses ya too." He said as his hand overshadowed my own in its size as we squeezed them together comradely.

"She misses me..." My mind had blown itself up right away as I thought about the sentence and its meaning. No one I ever thought I had met gave two cents worth of time to ever think about me, and yet here I stood corrected as the familiar memories of my second home in my youth flooded back into my mind. "Someone else actually cared to remember me..."

"Glad to make ya acquaintance Fair!" Derek startled me then as he yelled excitedly, our gentle handshake instead then turning into something more as he pulled me in towards him, wrapping his arms fully around me as his massive frame ate away at the entirety of my person. "She'll feel so much better now knowing you're alive. I'm sure of it..."

"Better now? Is she okay?" My voice had asked with worry as my body unfortunately remained in the gutter. Instead, as my questions persisted, I let the bear's presence permeate my senses then as I focused wrongly on how muscular the polar bear was, and how nice his musk mixed with my own.

Given that he stood a grand two feet taller than me, at I'd say at about close to seven foot, it was of no surprise that my muzzle had innocently found its way and buried itself into his chest; directly on top of the soft tuft of fur he kept hidden under his shirt.

In fact, as I wrapped my arms what I could around him, I couldn't help but notice how all of him felt so engrossingly soft and gentle; like he could have been mistaken for a tuft of goose down honestly.

"Huh? Yeah, I guess ya wouldn't know, seeing it's been awhile since ya've been around. She's sick Fair. Really sick. Old age doc's say." He said as I noticed his grip loosening and his gaze floating away to an elsewhere I recognized instantaneously.

"What?" Was all I could think to ask as we both pulled away from each other at the same time then, all my subtle hints of fondness and horniness fading away instantly and instead being replaced with a feeling all to familiar to me; guilt. "Umm... do you know how long she has?"

"Months. Maybe less..." He said softly with a broken raspy voice carrying its tunes.

"Wow. Is she... umm... can I..." I had continued to stammer on innocently but also took the time to realize then I had indeed let my worries of my own life go yet again and instead replaced them with something more important; my bulletproof reasoning behind my belief of what makes anyone a worthwhile person in this world.

"Yeah man, ya can come and see her. She'd love that." He said as he lifted his backpack higher on to his shoulder as it began to sag. "I don't have to work today, but I'd be willing to head back to Bellistall if ya wanted to catch up with her."

"But we're in Ardordon now. Bellistall is like five hours away from here." I said as he took his phone out of pocket and unlocked the device, instantly finding himself busy with musing's of his own design. "And I'm sure you have more important things to do besides driving back and forth between here and there."

"Nah it's more like three when I drive. And I just sent her a message saying ya'd make it. Wouldn't make a liar out of me would ya?" He said smiling, I feeling my heart drop into the pit of my stomach at the thought of going back there to my birthplace; to where my nightmares had actually first had begun.

"But but but... I've got a boyfriend." I had said it again proudly today, and this time with a more natural affliction; even if for some reason it sounded like me saying it was only an excuse to recuse myself from the trip.

"Not really what I asked but okay. Still, you gotta go. It's only for a day. Hell he can come too if he wants. I'm probably bring my friend Domino along for the ride. And he's got a buddy so it'll make for an exciting road trip I think!" He said as he handed me his phone, the wallpaper of which showed two extremely hot canines going at in a reverse cowboy position. "Figured ya wouldn't mind the picture seeing as ya just admitted to liking dudes."

"Well yeah. But why'd you hand it to me?" I asked confused, secretly absorbing the background picture into my subconscious all the while for a later, more personal use.

"Well I'd ask ya for your number out right but then that'd feel more like I'm asking ya more on a date huh?" He laughed lightly then as I punched in the numbers on the touch screen and handed the phone back to him, which for some reason caused him to hang his head sideways in confusion for a minute.

"What's up?" I asked, curious why he stared at his phone like he did.

"Eh, it ain't nothing, just was thinking is all." He said as he re-pocketed his phone quickly and looked back at me with a big goofy grin. "So I'm gonna guess the boyfriend's in class and ya waiting like a good pup?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, looks like he almost about to be let go. I'll ask him know about the trip." I said in response; not realizing until the end of the sentence that I had actually committed myself to the idea as well.

"So I guess that means ya do care. That's good. She always told me how sweet ya were. Honestly, I always wanted to meet ya Fair; make sure that I was being half the person she described you to me to be." He said as he gathered his belongings together and turned himself away from me.

"I'll send ya a message here in a minute so you can get my number. Let me know within the hour if ya still good to travel." He continued to speak as his stride carried him forward before he stopped short again for a second. "And even if not, I'll still tell grandma that she wasn't forgotten about." He said softly as he looked back towards me and nodded his head, all while he made his way towards the nearest exit from where we stood.

"Hey wait, Derek!" I called out, for which he parked himself by the doorway for a second to listen.

"Thanks. For the talk. I'll let you know." I hollered out to him as the doors swung wide open for his body as he left, of which afterwards led my thoughts to my initial impressions of him, hinging largely on two ideas consecutively; one, of how I actually managed to overcome my general shyness and legitimately speak with him, and two of how awesome his ass looked strolling away.

"Well I guess a little vacation away from my problems will be a good thing. But what'll I tell Daniel?" I thought happily about at first but then steadily shifted to worry. This was the first time in our entire relationship that anything like this had come up, even though I knew was expected to happen someday. "Should I even tell him?"

My mind puzzled and stretched as the thoughts grew forever larger it felt; until Daniel came out of his class that was...

"You ready Lee?" I heard a voice come out from behind, startling me suddenly as familiar feelings flooded their way back into my person and brought me back down to reality.

"Dan! How long have you been standing there?" I asked as I gave my partner a hug, of which his own embrace back to be honest felt lukewarm in response, indicating to me this was not the supportive Daniel I had walked away from in the parking garage earlier.

"Long enough Charlie. So guess you're heading back home huh?" He asked, with little emotion at all behind his words.

"You heard? Yeah, I mean I don't know how much you heard, but he's the grandson of probably the only other person on the planet I've ever cared about other than you and Guiles and he's willing to drive us out to Bellistall so I can pay my respects to her." I said as I realized I was talking to Daniel about something regarding my past; a sort of self-imposed taboo I had created between us regarding conversations concerning as much a long time ago.

"I know it all sounds a little weird Daniel, even on paper, but it'd mean the world to me for us to go. It'd be just for a day and we're both not scheduled for classes tomorrow or anything and I don't have work today or tomorrow either so it works." I babbled on and on, which for me was a bit of a new feeling; my very tongue constantly panting for breaths of air as I spoke with quick speech.

"Yeah Charlie, I'm gonna be outright and say I'm not real comfortable with that. I mean, you can go right ahead, if you want, but I don't really care to go. I've already got a mound of work to do from classes and I'm not really ready to go on an excursion right now." He said as he held up a bunch notebooks he had kept locked in his paws, presumably because he had already resigned himself to head to the library and study his materials. "I'm going to be busy anyway so go babe. It'll be good for you I think."

He caught me off guard then as he switched back to Daniel from Dan and gave me a kiss there right in the foyer; in front of everyone who cared to notice seemingly staring at us already.

"What are you doing Daniel?" I asked as his romantic and piercing eyes pulled me into his trap; myself instantly succumbing to his charms.

"Just making sure you're mine is all." He said as he set down his books quickly and came up behind me, holding me at waist height. "Can't be worrying about you leaving me for some pretty hot polar bear now can I?" He said calmly and yet jealously too as his head buried into the back of mine.

"Daniel... I'm not going to leave you. I owe you more than my love you know." I reassured him and myself it felt as I pushed myself against his muzzle; the soft breaths escaping from which made me shiver in contempt.

"I feel the same way too Lee. So go, you have my blessing. Just maybe leave me the keys to the car and the apartment okay. And as soon as I finish up here I'll head home and wait for you." He said as he squeezed me tighter in his grip at the end of his sentence, myself imagining that I had actually heard him sobbing for a second.

So looks like I'm gonna be headed back to Bellistall. Let's see what happens...