Bastards! Chapter 1 - Meet the Freak on the Leash
#1 of Bastards!
There's nothing like crushing head pressure and the blinding light of the rising sun to make you wish you'd said no to that last round of tequila shots. What's worse is the days when you welcome the hangover, 'cause it's proof you somehow made it through another night of bad decisions. Doesn't make getting up any more appealing, though.. especially when your 'bed' at the moment is on the floor of a room where you don't recognize the ceiling, and there's a pretty hot fox fem nuzzled into your chest fur. Then your watch alarm goes off and everything you're supposed to do today blasts into your head at once like a bullet between the eyes, so you grab what clothes you can find and bolt out the door in an all-too familiar state called last minute panic. Gotta love those after-gig Thursday mornings, ah?
If the intro I just gave did it's job, you're probably wondering who the hell am I am. If not, you're scrolling through this to get to the fucking. But on the off chance this actually gets read, I may as well tell ya a little about myself. After all, I AM pretty fuckin' awesome. M y name is Vincent "Velvet Vinnie" Flannigan, a 19 year old hyena/fox hybrid male with radioactive-green spiked hair and what my guidance counselor used to call an 'attitude problem' before I cracked the dumb bitch over the head with a chair. I'm about 6'2" when I'm standing up straight (which is about as often as when I'm 100% sober), still mildly athletic from my days playing back-it ball, and, to get back to the story, I'm the proud owner of an old-school black sports coup, in which I was flooring it with a hangover 'cause I'd already slept through two classes and have at least a 10 minute drive before I get to school. Which reminds me, I should kick at least one of my friends in the nuts for letting me drive that night night when I was black-out drunk... And for letting me get so shit-faced in the first place. At this rate, I'd be lucky to get to school in time for-
GOD that lunch bell is loud when you're hung over.. I sulked into the cafeteria, trying my damnededst not to get noticed y any of the goody-goody hall monitors or stick-up-the-tailhole teachers before I at least got some grub in my stomach. you'd think it'd be hard to go unnoticed with bright green hair when you're over 6 foot.. but keep in mind I go to a school for furs. A PUBLIC school for furs. So it shouldn't be surprising I made it into the caff no problem. I grabbed my shitty lunch from the line, destroyed some kid's self esteem for making a crack about my hair, then found a quiet, empty table to down my swill and wait for the end of the world's worse hangover... which would have worked, except for one thing...
"VINNIE VINNIE VIECHIE!!"
... I have one of the most retarded and annoying best friends in the known fuckin' universe.
"Jun, I swear to your multiple heathen gods I will KILL YOU today."
The death threat didn't stop Jun from sitting next to me and starting to scarf down his home-brought lunch.. but then again, it's kinda hard to scare an Asian monkey who grew up in an all-canines neighborhood. Besides that, Jun-bug and I grew up together, so he really wasn't scared or surprised by anything I did anymore. Like I said, kid's retarded.
"Ooh, touchy..." he paused to shove more sushi in his face. Can't see how ANYONE eats that shit.... "Someone partied too hard after the gig, ah?"
"If you wanna keep enough teeth to keep eating that sludge wrapped slime you call food, you'll shut up, Jun-Bug," I growled at him, laying my head down to shield myself from the pain that is florescent lights. "You're the one who told me I HAD to stay for the after party... oughta wring your scrawny neck..."
"Well, of COURSE you had to stay!" came response, along with a series of shifting noises that told me Jun was now sitting on the table like the anime freak he is. "You're the lead singer, dude!! What type of band has an after party without their front man? It's all about keeping up the rockstar image."
"How much of a rockstar do I look like when I can't even lift my head, you douche?" I snarled. "An image don't mean shit if I don't live to see the next gi-"
"You'll be FINE. Oh, and speaking of the next gig!!" A piece of paper slid under my arms and against my head. I forced my head up long enough to look at it.. and suddenly there wasn't a hangover big enough to keep me down.
"You're shittin' me..." I whispered, holding the piece of paper in my hands like it was manna from heaven. "The Blue Zebra? you got us booked at the Blue Zebra?!"
"What'd I tell ya, Vinnie?" he smiled, chewing on a toothpick. "Not only am I the best drummer alive, but I make a pretty decent manager too. We're opening for some hipster band this Saturday at 9, so try not too get too fucked up on FridaaaOOOAHH!!"
By this point, I was so over my hangover I had picked the little flea-picker up and was spinning him around in the middle of the Caff. "Jun, you fuckin' idiot, you ROCK!!" I hollered, finally setting him down and whooping. "This is our big break!! Have you told Jami and Don yet?
"Not... yet..." the little guy replied, coughing and hitting on his chest. "Don's cell... *cough cough!* is still off.. *kaaaf!!* and Jami does't.. *haaaack!* accept texts... *wheeeeeeeeeze!*"
"Breathe, dumbass," I ordered him. "You die within the next two days and I'm kickin' your ass, got it?" When the mini-ape nodded, I continued. "Good. Now after school, we gotta go get Don and Jami and let 'em know. Then, I want everyone over at the garage by five for practi-" And that's when it hit me. My eyes went wide, my heart sank to the floor, and if I wasn't so dehydrated from the night before, I probably would have pissed myself. "Oh, shit..."
Jun finally stopped coughing, and looked up at me with a mix of concern and irritation. "You've got that 'I just fucked everything up' look on your face.. what'd you do now, you big dumb mutt?"
I started to pace, heart racing as I muttered curse words to myself. Finally, I stopped. "Buggers, PLEASE tell me you saw who I left with last night..."
"Y'mean from the party?" Jun rubbed his chin with his tail, now crouch-posed on the table. "No idea.. some fox girl. Why?"
"'Cause I don't remember her name..." I started, panting due to the lack of sweat glands, "And I ran out on her without saying anything this morning..."
"As usual... Look I don't see what the problem i-"
"And my bass is at her house!!"
"... Christ. Y'see Vinnie? See what happens when you fu-"
"I'm in NO mood for Big Lebowski quotes, Bug!!"
"Just tryin to lighten the mood, man..."
There's few things more awkward than running into a girl you had a fling with and not being able to call her name. But it gets worse when said fling was less than twenty-four hours ago... and when you've left one of your most prized possessions at her house. At least I had the good luck of remembering where her house was and not having to run from club to club and bar to bar looking for her... But the thought of one of her parents answering the door still made my blood ran cold. I mean, what the fuck do you say there? Uh, excuse me miss, but I THINK I left my 500-dollar bass over here while I was bangin' the Christ outta your daughter... d'ya think maybe I could have that back? I Went over every possible outcome as I pulled up to her house, and each one was worse than the last. 'May as well get it over with...' I thought deftly before hopping out of my car and walking up to the front door. I took a deep breath, rang the bell... and for a full minute at least, my heart stopped. And then I saw her.
It was like something straight out of a 'girl-next-door' style yiff-flick; she came to the door in a belly t-shirt that barely contained a set of tits that had to be at least high-D cup, and a pair of blue shorts so tight I almost thought I had on x-ray goggles. She had ice-blue hair to contrast with her blood-red fur, and a tail so thick and poofy it coulda blotted out the sun. I stood for a second and watched it sway, and I damn near high-fived myself right there on her porch; I may not remember ANY of last night, but... goddamn, I still went home with THIS chick?!? Well done, Vinnie...
"So, you came back..." she half-mumbled at me as she eyed me in the door. I realized I probably looked a contrasting mess; spiked hair starting to droop, fur a matted mess, and the same clothes from the night I stumbled onto her floor. Surprisingly, though, she didn't look nearly as disgusted as I probably would have had the shoe been on the other hindpaw... just the same look of mild amusement she'd had since the door opened. "If you were hoping for round two, I normally don't do that till we've at least had A date..."
"Uh, as appealing as that sounds..." I stared, giving that stellar body another glance for good measure. Good GOD she was stacked!! "It's really not why I came here. I, uh..."
"Forgot your shit," she finished for me, the slightly amused smile widening into a full on 'you fuckhead' grin. "I know. We fell asleep on your jacket, remember?"
'You don't want me to answer that, babe...' I thought to myself, laughing and trying to pretend this wasn't the third most awkward moment of my life since puberty. "Eh, I could part with the jacket..." I replied with a smile, tying to keep things casual and keep my cock in my sheath, "I just hope you haven't pawned off my bass yet."
"Well, I considered it... " She made a pouty face at me. "I mean, you were SO mean to me this morning... I mean, running out on me like that, and without even giving me a name!!"
Now, I'm not a religious fur by any stretch of the imagination.. but when something like this happens to a guy like me, well... you really can't help but think there was SOME divine asshole who went and got involved on your behalf! I smiled like a kid in the goddamn candy store; my problems were over, and maybe, just maybe...
"Well, I had to rush..." I said, still grinning, "Hell, by the time I woke up, I was already late for school, so... look, why don't we just start over? I'm Vinnie; Vinnie Flannigan."
"Sharron. Sharron Bailey. And... you can come in, y'know... " she told me with a sly look before moving out out the way. And as I stepped inside, I couldn't help but wonder if I was really THAT damn good at this shit...
"So, uh... I guess I should grab my bass and get outta your hair..." I said as I looked around the house. "I mean, wouldn't want you getting in trouble with your folks or anything-"
"Oh, stow it," Sharron responded with a slight giggle. "They're out of town for the week, so.. you can stop looking around like the boogeyman's out to get you." she laughed, and so did I... as I slowly took my hands off the switchblade in my right pocket. "And besides.. you don't just GET your guitar back, green bean..."
'Haven't heard that joke like 5 THOUSAND times...' I thought, part of me still twitching. I don't care HOW hot a chick is; the hair jokes are getting to the out of line point. "Yeah, I kinda figured on that. I mean, I guess I owe ya, after last night an all. So, what's the damage, Red?"
"Oh, I've got something planned out for you, Mr. Rockstar..." she began with a smile that gave me the good AND bad kind of chills. "Just take a seat and I'll be right back." With that, she headed off through a door, down some stairs, and to the basement... and I felt a lump form in my throat. I KNEW I wasn't this lucky or this good... If this bitch tried to kill me, there wasn't much I could really do here... I was in HER house, after all and... wait, were those CHAINS?!? My hand went straight back to my switchblade as I turned toward the door Sharron had just went through.. and what I saw literally made my jaw drop. Because right there, before my eyes, was Miss Girl-Next-Door again... with a collar around her neck and a leash in her hand.
TO BE CONTINUED (but you probably already knew that...)