FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"You know, the next time you want to get your mane cut, you could at least try to go to a barber shop." Sanmer laughed as he balanced a tray of glass tubes on a metal tray. "Grab up your labcoat, alright?"

I tried my best not to flush at the comment, but my paw lifted up to automatically run along the short hairs that made up my freshly cut mane. In the cold cruel light of day, it really did look awful, so I had tried to use water to make it lay flat against my head instead of sticking up in varying lengths as it had before. It had worked, until the hair had begun to dry and insisted on sticking up in little spikes here and there. It would have been better if I had had clippers of some sort, or really taken the time, but last night I hadn't cared enough to take my time, it had felt wrong to have a mane, it had been foreign to me, and I had yearned to be able to fix something in my life. I couldn't fix Jonty, but I had been able to fix myself, at least, that had been what I'd thought when I'd started cutting. Now, I just ignored the little jib and went for my lab coat.

My day would be spent in the labs again, one of the easier runs when compared to outdoor work because I was mostly doing rather mindless jobs. The people like Sanmer who worked here were the ones that had to actually think to work, I just kept track of changes and counts. I didn't envy the fox that was moving among the chaos, his work goggles tugged down over his eyes to protect them as he continually opened up containers to examine them and would take the time to test and add as needed, or subtract. The harsh scents were enough to make me crinkle my nose back and my tongue curled slightly, but he never seemed to mind, he often took a large breath as if drinking down the different scents and testing them before huffing them out again and addressing something he had picked up just from sniffing.

"I'll get it smoothed out." I answered after wriggling into my coat, letting the long edges fall down to my knees. "I just got tired of it growing all over."

"Well, that whole in between stage is bad for your kind, eh?" The fox answered, his bright green eyes flicking up to watch me curiously. "It doesn't look that bad, but you really got a cow lick going on right now."

"Yeah, I know." I sighed and reached down to pull on the boots over my foot paws, trying to ignore the strange feeling of my toes being compressed around the stiff steel tips meant to protect them. "So what are you doing down here today, anyway?" It was better to change the subject.

"Pepper spray, well... Kind of pepper spray, it's a little more mild." Sanmer said cheerfully and pushed a small black device towards me. "Trying the whole 'humane' containment of problem folks, but it smells like shit."

"And you'd know what that smells like." I retorted and picked up the device, slipping the band over my hand and palm before tapping on the keys.

"Of course, I've got you stinking up my lab." He answered smoothly, winking a bright eye before pointing towards a line of vials on one side. "You're going to record those ones, you can do it to the second point."

"Solare know that you're doing your thesis down here?" I settled down near the tubes and scanned the first one, calling the palm device to life before looking at the small dipper that was displaying a series of numbers I had to record.

"Yeah, he's fine with it." Sanmer muttered, leaning over his current work project, but he didn't look at me which made me grin a bit more.

The fox was brilliant, I didn't understand half of what he did within the confines of this lab, but he was absolutely horrible when it came to lying. He had an interest in genetic modification, I knew that much, the first week I'd been here he'd nearly made me go cross eyed as he'd explained his interest in it. It was mostly modifications that had to do with various plants, but he was also passionate about evolving predators as a species and their food sources. I tried to understand some of what he said, but most of it went over my head, I just knew his thesis involved the genetic modification of a small wild lethki to something larger and heavier. His idea was that if they were larger and easily farmed, then predators wouldn't have to live on an unnatural diet and hopefully bring together the divided factions that made the wall such a necessity.

The lethki were odd critters, about the size of a closed fist with short round ears and long stiff tails and rounded bodies. They mostly lived in the brush, they were fast and secretive, mostly nocturnal, but could be quite interesting as pets, or so I'd heard. Sanmer kept four in large cages in the other lab, saying he'd brought them from his home and they were plucky little things and personable. I even, almost, understood his idea to change them and what it would require, though it disturbed me that a fetus could be created outside of their bodies and implanted in a later stage. I tried not to look at that part of his science, instead I kept to my job which only required me to continually tap in numbers from the vials and recorded the changes.

"Are you going to work with the lethki today?" I asked conversationally as I moved down the line, trying to keep focused on what I was doing instead of day dreaming.

"Nah, I have enough down here and I have no plans on staying over tonight." Sanmer was further down the line than I was, his soft plush tail dancing back and forth as he added something to a small dish. "Solare wants me to work out this project sooner rather than later and then he's letting St. Alons borrow me and our set up to do some research."

"That'll be fun for you." I glanced up to see him settling down on a stool, and shifted nervously. I knew what I really wanted to ask him about.

"About as fun as getting a claw pulled out." Sanmer growled. "You know how they get, they breathe down my neck the entire time, like I have no idea what I'm doing."

"What are they doing now? Can't they just do it at the hospital?" I barely looked at the numbers as I heard the sound of a keyboard clicking behind me.

"Solare likes having favors, I think. They're doing some research with fertility in the hybrids, trying to sort out how the chromosomes are set up." Sanmer replied, a bit annoyed sounding. "Like a mule needs to have children, there are plenty that need adopted."

"Plenty of predators, you know mixed species adoptions go to shit." I grimaced a bit, recalling the horror stories. "Besides, what's the harm?"

"Nothing really, but it's a waste of resources. I'll spend the next few weeks staring at mule sperm under the microscope while a bunch of stuffy doctors huff and grumble at me." The fox sounded less than happy. "I can already tell them what's wrong without hearing them bray about their manhood and fertility. Like saying it will change science."

It was a good opening, one that brought my ears up as I changed position at the table. The night before I'd been up late, my thoughts hadn't just been on my brother, but on myself, they had ran rampant, leaping in circles that twisted around the idea of going to a doctor and talking to them about what I wanted. I knew I had to do it, I had no idea what going off my meds would do to me, I had done enough research online to know that it wouldn't be good. My body wasn't producing what it should produce, I needed a certain amount of testosterone and/or estrogen to be able to be healthy, but it wasn't something I was comfortable with. And it was certainly not something I was able to understand on my own, there were too many terms that I didn't understand and when I tried to puzzle them out I just ended up back where I started. I had to know what I was doing, I needed to be able to advocate for myself, and that meant I needed to understand exactly what it meant.

Sanmer was witty, sharp tongued, but intelligent. His gentle teasing barbs at me had never been cruel or unreasoned, they had been cheerful and meant to make me smile instead. I paused in my scanning to watch him, the long braids were dancing along his back, hanging heavy enough that they were spread apart and bumping the top of the stool. He wasn't stuffy, at least I didn't think he was, and he understood genetics. He was interested in them. That's what was important, an understanding of how my body worked and what happened, and what might happen if I changed my mind. He was interested enough in genetics he had to have come across something like me. I fidgeted and looked back at the vials and licked my lips nervously, I had to start somewhere. This was just a stepping stone that I had to take. It was harder than I could put into words as I tried to get up the nerve to say something, except, how to start the conversation.

"Hey, Sanmer... I have a question." It was awkward and I winced, the heat rising up to my ears as I stared at the tubes.

"Getting a weird measurement?" He asked, his stool rolling as he turned about and began to get up. "That batch should be stable."

"No, no, not about this." I looked up and gestured. "Just something personal, I had some questions about medication and I thought you'd have some insight."

I wanted to shut my mouth, it was awkward, stumbling and didn't come out the way I wanted it too, but the fox just tilted his head a little before rolling back to the microscope. He pushed his goggles up though, leaning back down to look in the tube before replying.

"It depends on the medication, I'm not a pharmacist, but I can probably answer rudimentary questions without too many problems." His voice was a bit muffled as I tried to find a way that wouldn't entirely damn me in asking.

"What happens to a guy if they're not producing testosterone? If they're put on pills, but don't continue to take them?" I tentatively asked, keeping my eyes fixed on my work. "What exactly happens?"

"Depends, I guess. Like absolutely not producing?" Sanmer answered, his voice still muffled as he worked. "Nothing at all?"

"Next to nothing, I guess." I wasn't sure, the medical records my mother had given me were all muddled strangely, I didn't know what a lot of it meant.

"Well, they'd have to remain on them. It's not just what makes a male want to have sex, it supports bone growth, mental well being, muscular strength, any number of components." Sanmer's voice became less muffled as he lifted his head. "Without any testosterone, there would be a lot of disturbing side effects, the least of which would be a lack of sex drive, depression, hell, after a while there could be infections and any number of illnessses."

"Oh." I paused as I leaned back, my eyes resting on the bottles. "So if they had to take those pills, they couldn't just stop taking them."

"Fuck no!" Sanmer's voice turned sharp and I glanced up to see him looking at me, his delicate ears folded back against his long head fur. "That isn't something anyone needs to mess with. They'd crash hard, and that's just mentally, that's not adding in all of the other stuff that can happen physically."

"I see." I hid a grimace of disappointment, I really wanted to avoid going to see a doctor. Sanmer's eyes were still watching me carefully and I fought the urge to squirm. "I was just curious. That's it."

"I'm serious. No one should just hop off their meds willy nilly, and you can tell 'him' I said so." He snapped and kept his ears back. I felt cold and I looked away, going back to the line of bottles, only to hear the fox sigh and the stool creak.

There was silence between us, I didn't know what to say, it had given me information, but I felt like there was something unsaid between us. Sanmer didn't press, he didn't accuse me of anything, but it made me uneasy as I continued my work. I heard him working across from me, the silence unnatural when we normally chatted as we worked, drawing out through the minutes as I made my way down the line and scanning each tube I came too. I didn't owe him an explanation, I didn't have to give him one, he wasn't pressing me about it, so he was letting me keep whatever secrets I held. It didn't mean he wasn't curious, or that he didn't suspect.

"I just figured you'd know what questions to ask a doctor." I finally broke the silence, staring at the tube in front of me, setting the small palm device down. "I didn't mean that they were actually really going to do it."

Stupid, so stupid. I tried to keep the redness from reaching my ears as I picked up the clip board and pressed the print button on the device.

"Questions to ask?" Sanmer asked and blinked a little bit as he glanced over. "I mean, I guess ask what's causing the deficiency and if it's fixable, certainly asking what causes it. There would be no real reason to go off it. I'm sure there are unpleasant side effects, but the pros certainly outweigh the cons."

"Mmm..." I made a noncommittal sound, I didn't know what else to say. At least I'd gotten an answer on what would happen if I just stopped, that left only going to a doctor as my choice. "Thanks for the advice."

"Any time." The fox groaned a bit and leaned back, his stool rolling back until he hit the other side of the cabinets and leaned back. "So, onto another subject, what are you doing tonight?"

"Tonight? Nothing, the normal stuff, I guess. I was going to check out some of the classes over at the community center." I answered, a bit taken aback by the sudden change of topic.

"It's Friday." Sanmer retorted, his ears splaying playfully while his tail twitched back and forth. "You should be doing something fun!"

"Yeah, well.." I thought about Ivan and Ollie guiltily, but I couldn't bring myself to call them. I wanted to talk to them, but I didn't know what I could say when I didn't even know what road I was traveling myself. "I really need to figure out what I'm going to do, if I wait too long I won't be able to get into any of those classes."

"You're young, Shall, you should be having fun." He lifted up his foot paws and propped them up on one of the shelves. "I have a date tonight, I'm heading down to a little club that opened up on the Riverfront, you should come with me."

"On your date." I gave him a look, twitching my ears back a touch. "I'm pretty sure dates work with two people."

"No, invite some friends, we can all make a group thing of it." Sanmer suggested, his tail tip twitching a bit faster. I swear, the fox had a tail that was more cat than vulpine with the way he moved it. "You need to get out, anyways, and it'd be nice to see you outside of work."

"I'm not really good at hanging out and I don't drink." I offered meekly, I couldn't even think of who I'd invite to make sure it wasn't awkward.

"You don't have to, it's a dance club and they've got a new band up. Come on, Shall, you can't spend all of your time here and at your apartment." Sanmer turned his stool about so he was facing me, his ears up high and eyes hopeful. "Invite that rat you hang out with, he seems like he'd have a good time."

"I guess I could." I glanced down at the printing paper and twitched my tail back and forth. If I went home, I'd be doing the same thing I did any day. I couldn't remember the last time I'd gone out, I'd been avoiding most people as I tried to sort myself out.

"Excellant! Then invite him, I'll text you the address and time." Sanmer said smugly, his eyes bright and confident. "Any red markers on those?" He shifted the conversation before I could take back my agreement.

"None." I belatedly looked down at the results. "I think this batch is set, what am I doing next?"

"Just stocking, we've got some new shipments in, and I know how much fun you find it." The fox shifted on the rolling stool and grinned, showing the tip of his pink tongue. I stifled a groan imagining the pile of boxes that were waiting for me. At least that worry was a distraction from the fact I'd just agreed to go out to a club.

~ ~ * ~ ~

Club Desota proved to be one of the fancy new clubs that was situated just in front of the riverfront and straddled the line of a good ritzy neighborhood and the start of the projects where the predators preferred to live. It was filled with red and blue lights that flashed and danced in time to music, with a pulsing industrial tempo that made my ears throb and my chest vibrate each time the bass rippled out across the dance floor. It was filled with people, crowded to the point that I felt like bolting, and the only reason I didn't was the fact CJ and Stefan were with me and seemed to be quite eager to get into the club proper. They were perfectly at home in the contained chaos of laughter and bright faces, the crush of people and the thrill of music that continued to grow louder as we stepped through the front room and towards the large interior.

I barely recognized Stefan, the modest and neat dark colored rabbit had pained dark blue streaks through his fur so that a pattern ran along the bridge of his muzzle and even went up towards the tips of his ears. The blue was outlined with paler white so it gave him a sort of tribal look, he was shocking enough that he really outdid CJ who had only made the concession of wearing a new pair of leather pants with chains hanging from them and a loose mesh tank top. Then again, I knew Stefan outside of this place, I knew he tended more towards polo and dress pants than leather and steel. It had taken some coaxing, and nearly being pinned to get me into a dark blue tank top that was lined in black piping, the broad multi-pocketed pants had small chains and zippers all over and were hastily borrowed from CJ when I had shown up wearing my normal shirt and pants.

"Who are we meeting?" Stefan stood up on his paw tips to yell in my ear as we pushed into the heart of the club. He had to yell, the music was so terribly loud.

"Sanmer, the fox from work. He has a date and wanted to do a group thing." I yelled back, looking up as we passed an impressive looking bison that boasting a staff shirt. "He's from up north, white fur."

"C'mon, we'll try the second floor, it's got the booths and seating." CJ glanced down at me with a grin and gave me a nudge. "Stop looking like you're walking into a trap, kid!"

"I'm not used to stuff like this." I tried to smooth my features, but I took most of my strength from the fact Stefan was purposefully sandwiching me between himself and CJ so I wasn't being knocked about.

Once we got past the front door, I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as crowded as it looked like, it seemed like most people were arrowing in to the front bar and creating a bottle neck, but once past it we stepped onto a sprawling dance floor. The lights flickered and rolled around, sending beams of light over the crowd and the black light suddenly made Stefan flare to light next to me. All the pale markings and the blue glowed creating an eerie outline that I followed as we were guided towards the stairs near the back. Even CJ was glowing, the white along his throat was like a beacon, it made me glance down to see my own pale fur gleaming, not glowing, but brighter than it should have been in the light.

Another shock, was hearing the music without the muffling of the walls. I liked the music, it was a bit shocking as we stepped up the stairs and the music filtered more clearly to us, it was filled with strange haunting tones and even the tell tale wail of a violin. It was strangely primal, the throbbing of the base made my heart flutter as if it were trying to keep time with the music. Some of the tension I had relaxed as we made it up the stairs without incident and found a calmer atmosphere that looked over the dancing crowds. The music was still loud, but there was no space to dance, only tables set up all around the place and clustered around a bar. Most of them were full up already, the tables themselves glowing a pale blue to show those that were seated there.

"Shall!" I barely had time to really look around when my name made me whip my head around to see a glowing white figure standing up to wave a paw. I couldn't have missed him, the black lights brought out his color perfectly.

"That's him." I nudged CJ and the rat looked over and raised his brow before glancing down at me, a smile teasing his lips before he began moving.

"Cute." He murmured softly, and I heard Stefan snort while I flushed hotly.

"He's already on a date." I mumbled, hoping that the music covered up the sound.

Before the rat could say anything else, we made it to the table to find the fox dropping back down with a smile on his face. The booth was one of the bigger ones and it was easy to wriggle into a seat as CJ and Stefan crowded in behind me. I found myself sitting next to Sanmer's date a pretty little feline with rich silver that darkened along her muzzle and large gold eyes. The fading stripes along her neck attested to her species, a wildcat, one of the few species of felines that were more delicately boned instead of larger and heavier than my own species. The slight frosting along the outer hairs gave her a constantly shifting color as she moved to smile at me, her whiskers bristling forward in greeting.

She had feathers clipped to her fur, the long red and blue spill of them framed her face as she was leaned back against one of the white arms that rested behind her. The smile didn't falter as I settled on the other side and tried to make introductions without screaming across the table. To my pleasant shock, the curved high edges of the booth were high enough that I could speak in just a slightly louder voice than my normal speaking one. The wildcat's name was Lani, her voice was pleasantly husky and warm as she nodded her head around and Sanmer shook hands with Stefan.

"I'm glad more people came out." Lani spoke up softly and twitched her ears up just a hair. "I don't know many people and Sanmer mentioned he'd try and invite some others along with us."

"She's from up at Stockton, like me." Sanmer interjected. "Most of the wildcats are heading down this way, getting overpopulated, but she doesn't know anyone around these parts besides me. And I knew Shall doesn't get out much either."

"I'm not really comfortable in clubs." I excused myself, trying not to sound like I was complaining. "This one is nice though."

"It's one of the better ones." CJ stretched out with a lazy smile. "Not far enough to the east side to ban preds and not so low on the west to be a dive. Good pick. Not bad music either."

"First one I've been too." Lani tilted her head towards me, a smile still on her dark delicate muzzle. "Are you really uncomfortable here? If you are, I don't mind if we head somewhere..."

"No, no!" I lifted my paws up and tried to look reassuring. "I'm just not a big drinker and that's mostly why-"

"Not here." Sanmer tapped a claw on the table. "They don't serve alcohol unless you bring it yourself, it's meant to be a dance club. So you're safe."

"Oh!" I felt an edge of tension leave and I relaxed back into the booth, feeling less like bolting or wanting to run.

I didn't like being around too many people, it drew up far too many memories from my former home life, but with that worry lifted I began to relax. For the first time in far too long I spent an evening not sitting at home or surfing the internet looking for information that could help me find myself, I spent it with friends. Sanmer did have alcohol, but he didn't drink like my friends from high school drank, he sipped at a mixed drink decorously and spent more time talking with us. CJ was animated as normal, making the conversation slide easily towards those that came to the city from outside and impressions, entertaining Sanmer with a few choice stories of being a foreigner. That left me talking with Lani and Stefan, but it was Lani I gave a good deal of attention to.

She was strange, not simply because she was a foreigner, there was something about her that made me pay closer attention to her, the way she moved, even the way she smelled. Her accent was muted, barely discernible as she talked about the classes she was taking, prompting Stefan into speaking up about his own. I added my own comments, but most of my attention was taken up with watching the way that she kept glancing at Sanmer. It was odd for a date for everyone to just chat, I would think he'd be working at seducing her, but he was obviously comfortable with her and she was leaned slightly against him. I could almost bet that their hips were touching under the table, but she didn't act as if she were put off by the fact he was talking with CJ.

Perhaps they'd been dating for a while, or they did back in their home city. Sanmer certainly hadn't mentioned her before, he had been slightly reserved about matters outside of the lab in some ways, but now he seemed eager to open himself up. I forgot about the loud music and the crush of people, and found myself smiling easily. This wasn't like when the team had parties, the wild drunkenness, the loudness and obnoxious jokes weren't there, this was more relaxed. It was easy to talk, though at times I had to lift my voice to be properly heard. It made me regret not inviting Ollie and Ivan, or anyone else for that matter, it would have been nice to catch up in a setting that I didn't feel strained at being a part of for once.

"This sort of city is more open." She spoke up, in answer to a comment by Stefan asking after her prior experiences in school. "The more north you get, the harder it is because the cities become more militant. They still have wolf packs up there, you know."

"I'd heard that." I said, finding an opening. "I've even heard that if you go past the Rim that there's entire cities of just predators."

"I don't know about that." She faltered a little. "I think they educate us better up there because they want us to keep in line, but there's just this underlining feel that they're just waiting to get rid of us all."

"It wouldn't shock me." Stefan agreed. "But most of the populations are canines and the smaller felines, down here you get more like Shall, the lions, leopards, and bigger felines."

"They'd never allow lions in our city." She flicked her eyes towards me and smiled apologetically. "You should hear what they teach us in school about lions."

"Probably no worse than the truth." I grimaced. "You should see some of the pride gatherings, they're pretty awful. The leopards aren't so bad, they're more singular though."

"Like foxes." Lani bobbed her head and opened her mouth to say something more when Sanmer leaned over and playfully bumped his nose against her ear.

"You wanna dance? CJ knows the band, he's gonna try to get them to play Forgotten." The arctic fox was grinning ear to ear. "I love that song."

"Okay-eep!" Lani yelped a bit as Sanmer wriggled out of his seat and playfully dragged her with him. "You coming too?" She glanced back at me.

"Noooo." With a laugh I shook my head and lifted up my paw. "I have no idea how you even dance to this music."

"That just means you have to try." CJ chimed in, his buck teeth showing as he grinned and stood up.

"Uh-uh." I shook my head firmly. Stefan gave me a look, the rabbit's long ears twitched backwards on his head pitifully in a mock pouting expression. I relented a little. "But I'll watch and if I figure it out I will."

"Excellent!" Sanmer winked as they began filtering towards the stairs. "You can watch at the balcony if you don't want to deal with the crowd, you have until the second song before we come kidnap you en masse."

"That's not fair!" I protested, standing up, but it was too late. I saw CJ's positively wicked smile and realized it was a losing battle.

~ ~ * ~ ~

The balcony proved to be a rather comfortable spot to watch the dancing crowd below, and I was surprised to see that no one seemed to know how to dance. Or rather there was no real set movements to those below, they moved to the music. Sanmer danced with his hips, a movement that took some parts of his arms into the mix as his head turned, but he didn't exactly dance with Lani. She was just a foot away with her own movements, putting together a dance for the song with her body, but mostly her tail. It was thick and soft, silver tinged with black towards the tip as she used it to tease around her body, spinning and turning, almost chasing it to the beat of the music. Standing up, her body was leaner and taller than I had expected it to be, athletic, she was some sort of dancer or perhaps a gymnast given her grace. Or simply could have been the fact she was a wildcat, they were known for being light footed.

I wanted to be her, as I watched her move, some part of me compared our movements to one another and found what I was lacking. I wasn't heavy bodied, but I wasn't as lean as she was either, she had a balanced grace as she moved that I knew I'd look like an idiot. It didn't stop my envy, or savoring the way that she turned about, her long tail twisted around her legs briefly before sliding free to flick towards Sanmer as he danced. Eventually, I had to move my eyes away and flicked to the other dancers, many of whom were like Sanmer and Lani, dancing to their own beat, they just happened to be on the same floor, but not all of them.

Some paired up, CJ and Stefan for example, their bodies pressed close together as they moved in time to the beating of the bass and their muzzles pressed intimately close. The rabbit had a sense of the music, his large foot paws hitting the ground time and time again as I rested my chin on my arms and watched as they formed a little bubble all of their own making, drawing away from the reality of the club as their eyes locked. It was sensual to watch, the way that the rat's hands occasionally moved to brush against his lover, the twitch of a spade shaped tail or bump of a hip. It felt almost private, something that had turned me into a voyeur so I looked away to the rest of the crowd through the song. It looked like... fun. My tufted tail tip began to twitch rapidly and I straightened up as the song shifted and I saw Sanmer glance up at me and wiggle his fingers to come down. It was worth a try.

Of course, things rarely went the way I wanted them too. As soon as I turned around I crashed ungracefully head first against a tall lean form that made me scrabble to step back and grab the top of the balcony to keep from landing on my rump. I hadn't been paying attention to what was going on behind me and the person I'd bumped into stumbled back with a soft curse and his hands jerked up high in the air. Belatedly I realized that something wet had spilled all down the front of my shirt, and I looked up to see a vulpine blinking at me with a frown that creased his brow. A fox, as white as Sanmer, but color alone was what they had in common. Where Sanmer was short and delicate, the fox that I'd crashed into was tall, taller than I was by at least three inches and had more weight to him despite the lean appearance.

"I'm sorry!" I managed to stammer out, the heat rushing to my face as I noticed that his immaculate soft white fur was splattered with some dark red. "Oh crap, I am so sorry."

The stranger twitched an ear, revealing a strange glyph tattooed right on the inner pink lining and lifted his head to give me a look. "It's alright, I shouldn't have been passing by quite so close." His voice was pleasantly deep as he reached out snag a handful of napkins from a nearby table. "I think no harm done."

"Except to your fur." I pointed out and splayed my ears. He wasn't wearing a shirt, it was tucked in the band of his dark jeans, which meant his fur was slowly being dyed whatever color the drink was. "Here, let me help before it sets."

I felt stupid, clumsy and humiliated as I tried to help him use the napkins to soak up the worst of the drink that had spilled on him. Even as I did so, it was hard not to look at him out of the corner of my eyes. I'd known a lot of canines in my life, foxes too, but this was the first one that was so.... Strange. Most foxes were barely 5'5, but he topped out at six foot tall, more the height of a wolf than a fox, his eyes were ever so delicately slanted, almond shaped with the pupils round instead of slit straight up and down. And they were the oddest color I'd ever seen, a deep warm brown flecked with emerald. He used calloused hands to help me with the napkins, his ears flipped back against his head as he did so, not blaming me, but obviously not happy as the more we got off, the more it revealed pink dapples that now decorated his chest. I wanted to crawl into a hole.

It was made worse by the fact he was... handsome. Mostly, I was so screwed up I really didn't look at anyone in that way, but there was something in the way he held himself that drew my eyes to him. The fact he was wearing tight pants just made it worse. It was confusing and embarrassing, I instinctively tried to push any attraction away as the stranger lifted his hands up a little and ran his fingers along his chest fur. As he brushed upwards, fluffing and trying to dry it, I kept my eyes pointedly at his face as he frowned down at himself. Despite his height, his muzzle was still tapered, tipped with a dark nose and whiskers that were a bit thicker than I'd seen on a fox before. It made him look even more exotic, almost feline like in some ways, which made me strangle that thought before it even started. What was wrong with me?

"It's not that bad." I offered meekly, letting him take the napkins. "Maybe if you put on your shirt no one will notice?"

"Well, I guess." He murmured. He flicked a paw over his chest and gave a lopsided smile, "Or I can leave it off and make a daring new fashion statement. It's not like you got off without a casualty, yourself."

"Yeah," I grimaced and tugged at my shirt, feeling him watching me as I did so. "I think I'll be safe though, it's mostly just run off, not really soaked in."

"Ya just gotta make me feel worse, huh?" I almost blanched and stumbled into an apology until I saw him softly laughing to himself. He wasn't angry, more amused at the situation. I relaxed a hair and looked down at his empty cup.

"I owe you another drink for bumping into you, though." I pointed out. "Seems only fair for making you bi-color."

The fox blinked his strange eyes slowly, a slight smile tugging at his lips. I don't know why I said it, but I'd noticed him starting to slip away and I'd offered to see if he'd stay. I flushed, the heat was rising higher and making my tongue feel thick in my mouth as I did my best to not let him see just how flustered I was. I'd never acted this way, so I kept my eyes flicked down a little, embarrassed that I was making an idiot of myself.

"Sure, c'mon. Unless you were going down, then don't worry about it. Accidents happen." He didn't sound as if he cared or not, a blow to my self-esteem, but that didn't stop me from moving towards the bar.

"No, I was thinking about it, but I don't think I'd be any good." I glanced back towards the balcony. "As I just showed you, I'm a bit of a klutz."

"Takes two to fumble that badly." The fox replied easily, leading me towards the bar while I fought to distinct urges.

The first one was to bolt. I didn't know why I was reacting to him, but I wasn't ready to do anything about it and for all I knew the fox was just being polite and letting me get him a drink. He probably had no idea why I was acting like an idiot, and if he did he either thought I was gay or he was gay, in which case it was stupid to go to the bar with him. The best idea would be to shove some money at the little minx behind the counter, get his drink and bolt, but something held me in place as the stranger slipped into a seat easily, curling his legs under him so his bare paws were propped up on a rung.

"I'll take a blackberry mix, Eve." He greeted the minx with a smile, jabbing a thumb towards me as I slid into a seat. "My new friend is buying."

"What do you want, hon?" She glanced at me and for a moment I blanked. I had no idea what to order, normally I just got soda wherever I was, but I didn't want to do that in front of the older fox.

"Whatever he's having." I managed and gave a small smile, turning to glance at the fox again. "I'm Shallen, by the by, I didn't catch your name."

"Didn't throw it." The fox tilted his head at just the right angle that his odd features looked far more fox like as he did so. "I'm Hiasaki. Thanks for replacing the drink."

"It's the least I could do." I returned, smiling just a little bit. "There's not a whole lot that can make up for turning you pink, but I can try."

"Ha! You think that I manage to keep my fur this color all the time?" He gestured at his bare mottled chest with a twinkle in his eyes. "You just have that short white coat, mine sucks in whatever I manage to spill. I spent ages two to six looking like someone spilled a rainbow on me. I'm lucky I didn't end up with my Mum bleaching me out at the end of every week."

"I dunno, I can remember a few times I managed to get some weird colors on me." I wrinkled my nose a little bit as the minx brought back our drinks. "I used to envy the leopards next door, dark as pitch and always perfect looking."

"And probably ready to collapse every time summer came, too damned hot by half." He gave his head a short shake back and forth. "I'd rather be dyed than ending up sitting on an ice pack half the year in the hopes I don't melt."

I pushed the money towards the minx and let out a laugh, trying to relax as I took the drink. It was pale reddish purple, darker towards the bottom and topped with a few berries. I didn't really like berries that much, but I was pleased to find that it was rather sweet tasting on the tongue and didn't have the bitter taste I was used to with berries in the raw. It was obviously something meant to cool down someone who was overheating, it clung to the tongue and was just liquid enough at the bottom to be gulped down if I were really that thirsty.

"I've never been a place like this that didn't have liquor at the bar." I commented, watching as the fox continued to work his fingers against his chest fur, trying to get it dried out without getting tacky.

"They won't serve it, not unless you bring your own. People here tend to be ravers and that means they're normally a bit..." Hiasaki waggled his fingers back and forth a little. "They get dehydrated easily, so the owner decided to roll with it. As long as they don't take anything in the club they're free to do whatever."

"Oh." That made my ears twitch back uncomfortably, but the fox just smiled at me and reached over to lightly swat my arm.

"Don't make that face, it's not like they're doing anything awful. You wouldn't be able to pick them out of the crowd really, and it's not needed, just the sorts that come here." He reassured me, leaning backwards a little. "Did you come alone or did no one mention that when they brought you out?"

"A coworker hauled me out, he didn't really say anything about that." I crinkled my nose back a touch before snorting. "But I guess that doesn't surprise me, it's still a nice place, and I like the music." I added the last a bit shyly, a bit surprised I enjoyed it myself.

"Ahh, got friends around then?" Hiasaki sounded genuinely curious as he twitched his ears upwards. "I came here by myself tonight, sometimes it's fun just to come and people watch."

"They were down dancing, I just wanted to watch a little. I'm not that good at dancing, but it's fun to watch." I watched him as I answered, finding myself drawn to the way that he positioned himself, there was a lazy grace there, so much like a cat it drew my attention.

Most canines tended to hold themselves a bit stiffly, I'd noticed. Ivan had always been very deliberate when he moved as he grew older, but was clumsy when he was young, Hiasaki was relaxed with his short plush tail hanging along the bar stool. It was hard to pin point what was drawing my eyes, and it was made worse as I watched him because I wanted to enjoy the view. I turned my eyes back down to my drink and took a sip as he leaned over the bar a bit and kept his arms relaxed in front of him, his ears twitching backwards towards me.

"Well, do you want to hang out and watch with me? I got dragged down by this little bit of a girl who wanted to dance, that's about my fill." He gave a slow smile towards me and winked. "Not that I minded, but it's hot as hell and I'd rather find a good spot to watch the dancers. It'd be nice to have some company for once."

I wanted to yelp yes, but discretion got the better of me as I glanced out towards to balcony where I'd been watching. I didn't want to just leave them, I knew I definitely shouldn't be going off to sit with the fox somewhere, it wasn't fair. It made my stomach turn a bit, the fear rising with the confusion, but it was pushed away as Hiasaki laughed and slipped off his seat and gave my back a playful push with one paw, his soft tail swaying behind him as he did so.

"Come on, we'll go sit where you were so your friends don't think you got kidnapped by some over hormonal cougar." He teased lightly, his narrow muzzle spread in a bright smile that pushed the doubts away.

"Sure, if nothing else, it'll keep me from them hauling me by my tail to go dancing." I answered, I even sounded normal as I stood up to follow him.

There's no harm in just enjoying his company... I thought to myself, trying to be reassuring that I was doing just that, even when I made an excuse to catch his shoulder to guide him to where I'd been. It was just hanging out, I'd done it with Ivan a hundred times, Hiasaki was no different.