Asshole Ex's and Snarky Clerics

Story by Sargonia on SoFurry

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#6 of sic semper

Based somewhat on a situation that a friend is going through. 872 Words.


"Four to six weeks" Nathan shouted back at the Housing Department worker. The twenty-three year old husky had found himself suddenly in a need for a new housing arrangement. "I don't think you understand lady, I can't go back there."

"Listen, sir," retorted the middle-age human female with quite a bit of distain for the youth, "you have to first submit a formal request which then has to be processed, wait to be reviewed by the committee, approved by said committee, then wait to be processed again by the assignment staff who searches for suitable housing. You do remember all of this from when you first applied for residency to this world?"

Nathan huffed at the snarkiness she put at the end of her last statement, scrunching up his snout and glaring at her with his piercing blue eyes. "What am I supposed to do for the time being?"

"Well, you can go live with your parents."

"They live off world. I came here for the job and I've made friends that I like so I want to stay here."

"Then there's nothing I can do about it. You have to have a residence. You can't stay with friends and you can't live on the streets."

Nathan balled up his fists trembling in anger and frustration, "I can't live there anymore."

"If it was domestic violence it would be a whole different story. Then all you would have to do is file a police report and you could be placed in a shelter until the police validate your claims at which you could then receive placement at a hotel and a higher queue status."

Nathan's jaw was agape, "validate the claims? Lady, I hope someone who is a victim of domestic abuse doesn't come to you. Confirm would be a nicer term." That she took offense to and was obvious about it. "I just want placed somewhere else. I can't handle my roommate anymore and for all I care he can have the damn apartment."

"Sir, that isn't how this works and you were made aware of this when you signed up for a dual-housing arrangement with your, partner."

It was true, when he had signed up to live his boyfriend Stephan they had told him this. What he hadn't expected was how quickly Stephan would fall out of love with him and so quickly back in love with their mutual ex Julian. Monday Stephan had told him how much he loved him, then Tuesday he had stuff to think about and he wasn't sure if he was "in-love" anymore, and finally on Wednesday there they were cuddling together. He had tried to be reasonable because of the lease and they had agreed to keep it PG but today, Thursday, he had walked in to find flavored lube bottles and dildos strung about the place.

"Please, there has to be something you can do," he begged with his best begging eyes, "If I stay there another night I swear I am going to kill a bitch."

"Look honey," she relaxed relieving the tension in her shoulders, "men can be assholes, and I empathize with you. I would love to help you, but I can't. If the two of you were married it also would be different because it would be a joint lease and you could file to have him kicked for infidelity but since it's only a shared the fact that you're not together doesn't have any bearing. As far as the system is concerned there is no urgency since your life isn't threatened, your heart is just broken. The reason is they don't people to scam the system since single places are harder to book then shared ones and they don't want people coming in claiming to be a couple only to split to get preferential treatment."

"I guess" he said looking forlorn.

"Here is what I would do. I'd kick him square in the nuts, grab all of my stuff, and head home. Friends will be friends and a job is a job. From looking at your file you're overqualified for that anyway. You're still young."

"Thanks," he said giving a little smile and she smiled back at him. "I'll go grab my stuff now, I guess I should file for departure."

"I can take care of that here, baby."

"Thank you," he said standing and she stood up with him. He was a little taller and a bit bigger than her but he leaned over and gave her a hug.

"It's alright; you just go and be happy." He left and she sat down and started filing his paperwork. Once he was out of sight she picked up her phone and punched in a secure line. "He just left," she said when the other side answered then waited for a response. "No, sir, it wasn't hard to convince him to leave world. The boyfriend is distracted and the apartment will be free by tomorrow so you can begin." She listened some more before finishing, "thank you, sir. It is my pleasure to serve my king and country." She hung up the receiver, clasping the wolf pendant on the necklace under her blouse before returning to her normal duties.