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Wanderlust, Chapter 1: Departures

(All characters in this story do not portray the actions any others real or otherwise, this may also contain adult situations both gay and straight, so if any of it offends, please do not read. Also this is dedicated to KIK: Thank you for the inspiration to try writing)

It has been said that in an infinite universe, anything is possible. The challenge for Procyon is that he had no idea what he wanted, no idea what he needed, and only the deep primal feeling that something was missing. Despite years of experience and study, hardship and success, life still seemed incomplete. Something necessary was out there; what and where eluded him. Sadly the universe is a large place: "it", whatever "it" was, had to be out there somewhere.

Sitting at his chair he stared at the computer screens. Dozens of navigational points and descriptions of star systems flickered across. He had been through these star charts before. He had even visited some of these systems already. Doing sales includes lots of travel and he had logged many light years. Many of these systems held good memories, some bad, but all added to his life of experience. Still, he felt vacant and empty. He futilely continued to scan through the maps as if still looking through them would miraculously yield some unknown insight he may have missed.

A beeping on the computer reminded him how late it was. He suddenly realized he had been staring at the screen for hours, and it was well past midnight now. Admittedly, like most raccoons, he was natively nocturnal and the late nights only seemed natural. Sadly, the rest of the universe seemed to insist on doing things during the day, so he made at least the half hearted attempt to be awake during daylight hours.

He tapped irritably at the console around the keyboard, as if somehow this action was going to give him sudden inspiration to an answer to an unknown question. Instead, it only seemed to add to his fatigue and frustration. Blurriness crept into his vision. "Damn, where's the cleaner?" he said to himself.

Rubbing his right eye vigorously he looked about his desk to find the rag and cleaning solution he used for dusting the optic set of his left eye. He leaned back in his chair as he readied the rag. Gently he held the base where the lens piece met the poly-ceramic plate that covered the left eye socket. With an audible click it disconnected. He started to clean the optics, then the electrical contacts. This action was largely unnecessary; these units were fairly well sealed from the elements. One could even swim with them with no loss of function. He largely removed the unit to allow the optic feed to disconnect, allow his mind a moment of rest to help him gather his thoughts. He commonly did this when his mind was wandering in pointless circles. This behavior did not go unnoticed.

"You know, I was reading the other day that some recent advances in cloning technology now allows people to re-grow all sorts of replacements, including eyes with 20/20 vision", a voice said patiently from directly behind Procyon. Two brown furry arms gingerly rode down from the top of each shoulder, down his chest and comfortably rested on his stomach in a reassuring hug. The reassuring warmness of the ursine was not un-welcomed in the least. Procyon knew he was being asked more complicated questions but this subtle banter is their unique way of opening old complicated issues. It allowed them to enter any conversation in depth or ignore the real conversation if necessary.

Procyon reached up behind him and perfectly plucked the antique brass rimmed glasses that rested on the brown bear's face and mockingly looked through them. "Good idea, maybe you can get rid of these things and join the rest of us in the modern age" It was obvious he was in no mood to talk in depth. Not angry, just frustrated, and laboring the point was going to do little to help. However, Oliver decided that his partner needed a slightly harder prod in another direction. Procyon was up late and had been for the last several days.

"So, where are you thinking of going this time?" Oliver asked as he grabbed the glasses back to study the charts displaying on the screen in front of him.

Procyon grunted, "Got me, it is a big universe out there". He continued to fidget with his optic set. He suddenly scrolled the charts a couple times in a vain attempt to suggest he had direction in this process. It was a weak attempt at best and he gave up as his bear was obviously not convinced. Oliver was sympathetic to the distress of his partner and friend.

He had seen many such nights before. The two once shared a romance of many years that, because of life events, evolved into a strong lifelong friendship to help the raccoon through a tough time. He admired the tenacity and bravado with which his friend and partner engaged life. He understood the nature and history behind his partner's bouts of dispassion and cold analysis, exemplified by his many wounds, from his replacement left ear and eye to the fissures in his emotions. He was concerned for the disparities between his hidden passions and overly rationalistic exterior. Even with the physical relationship on a comfortable hiatus for many years, he cared for and loved his raccoon for all his complexity, and knew that, in time, Procyon would be able bring all his disparate parts together. But it was up to him to figure that out; all the bear could do now is be patient and prod when necessary.

Oliver decided to scroll through the system database while Procyon calibrated the settings on his lens piece, now all but giving up on his search. "You could try the Deki system", the bear gently suggested. "You've heard of them, right? Twin planets, Po-Ying and Po-Yang, are supposed to be some of the most diverse and interesting in that part of space. Po-Ying is a veritable hub of technology and culture in the sector. Po-Yang is an ecologist's dream."

Procyon finally stopped fidgeting with his eyepiece, giving it a final wipe and reattached it in its socket. He looked intently at the screen and started to scroll through some of the details of system.

Oliver sighed inward, maybe there was going to be something constructive tonight afterward. "I hear Po-Yang was terraformed to be an ecological wonder, and left to be as pristine as possible. No technology, no permanent civilized habitation. Give you a chance to get some fresh air for a change."

Procyon quickly looked up and glared intently at Oliver. He rapidly refocused his cybernetic eye to full spectrum analysis while his ear did a similarly focused audio pick-up that could pick up his heart rate. He knew Oliver found this disconcerting. Oliver took the hint and got up from the computer.

However, in spite of feeling like he was being mother henned; Procyon had become intrigued by the pictures and statistics outlined on the monitor in front of him. He started to read off some of the notable points of interest of the planet. "This is fun. Apparently Po-Ying is a major manufacturer of some of the most cutting edge force field technology in this sector. They use it not only in ship construction but even for entertainment." He flashed through some more links and then beamed at a one in particular "Hey check this out!"

The bear smiled as the raccoon continued excitedly. "They got a water park here that constantly varies gravity fields that allow them to offer a constantly different set of rapids, slides, and falls throughout the day!" In spite of his age, Procyon retained a raccoon's love of water. He made sure a long time ago his prosthetics were built to be immersed for long periods of time if necessary.

Oliver watched as his friend continued to go over pictures and stats. He was glad to see the giddy boyish enthusiasm return. The big bear decided to leave his partner to his journeys and discoveries. He now had to attend the rumblings in his stomach that woke him in the first place. As he rummaged around the kitchen for something sweet he heard random sounds as the raccoon skittered from place to place around the house collecting supplies and things to wear.

Inwardly Oliver was hoping that this trip would last longer than previous trips. It had been years since the Incident but it was time for him to move on. He was worried that Procyon's previous attempts were approached with trepidation and apprehension, leading to self fulfilling prophecies. But now Oliver was encouraged to see that this time he generally seemed interested in something with real vigor. He wanted to go somewhere new that had nothing to do with work. Adventure seemed true to his blood and he was glad to see it in both of his eyes again. Growth required a sincere ability to push off and leave the shore behind.

A bright and fuzzy face poked around a corner suddenly, "Did you want to go with?" Procyon asked, one eyed fixed inviting expectedly and the other in a tight focus. The bear gently regarded this request. It could be fun. He also had never been to the Deki system. He would like to go. His partner wanted him to go. Although he may not be up for waterslides and rapids, some time lounging in the water and sun would be relaxing. It could be a really good time for them to spend together.

"Nah, I really need to get some things done here in the next few weeks." He pointed around the house which always seemed to be a week behind on cleaning.

A brief look of disappointment crossed Procyon's face but Oliver was relieved that the bug had obviously taken as his partner quickly disappeared to finish packing. "Some journeys," he thought to himself, "really need to be done alone. Only life can teach you such lessons."

Oliver had continued with his midnight snack and eventually meandered over to the main room. He could see a pile of storage containers and bags had already been packed next to the docking ring for the Intrepid. Procyon spent his entire life traveling and moving so a "quick jump" to another system was almost like walking down to the corner grocers for a soda for him. He observed his beloved with a warm affection that blurred the boundary of their long relationships as friend, partner, and lover.

Procyon broke him out of his trance. He was checking some numbers on the computer. "Looks like we have enough in the accounts I can easily be gone up to a month and we'd be ok. Honestly I don't intend to be longer than a week. There is only so much time I can spend at water parks and scenic vistas before even I get waterlogged or hay fever." he said in a tone that seemed teasing and inviting all at the same time. "Sure I couldn't convince you to come along?"

The big bear pondered for a moment longer. He took his paw and scratched and stroked the reddish tinged fur on his checks. He looked deeply into the pleading eyes. He started to rub the fur of his recently filled belly in indecisiveness. He honestly hated the answer, but his partner's search was more important. He petted him on his poly-ceramic ear. "This place is cluttered enough. Ignore some of these things any more and we both will have to spend and extra week just to recover from this trip."

Procyon looked at the house and contemplated. He could feel the excitement start to flee his mind as the thought of chores tried to invade it. This was unacceptable. Dammit he was going to have fun. He had not been out and about since...since... "Fine you win. Just hate to think of you cleaning while I'm out having fun. Seems unfair"

"I need some alone time. Life has been full as of late and now seems the best time to take it" was Oliver's final retort. It stuck. Procyon started to pack the ship.

Oliver went to his room and crawled into bed. He left the light on so he could read for a little bit while his stomach worked on the recent snack. A sated body and mind was a wonderful way to go to sleep. A short while later he was about to turn of the light when there was a knock at his door. "Come in!" the bear bellowed.

"I'm packed ... and everything is well ... ready to go."

"You ok?" Oliver could not help but note that his ears were down, even the left one. The stammering raccoon shuffled up to his bedside.

"Thank you. I know I've not always been easiest to get along with as late." Procyon was looking at the wall like it contained the words he seemed to be searching for.

"Thank you for suggesting this trip." He looked elsewhere, but not at Oliver "Thank you for getting me out of my funk" He looked at the floor. "Thank you for taking care of house cleaning while I'll be gone." He stammered some more. Procyon finally looked up at Oliver "Just... thank you for...being." His words ended like in a clumsy attempt at speech but his mind decided it was the best it could put together.

In answer, Oliver just opened his paws to his lifelong friend to give him an inviting hug.

The hug was deep and loving, more affectionate then familiar but not passionate. It was an embrace of deep comforting support. It was the Bear Hug that Procyon counted on this past few years as he pieced his life back together. It was customary for these hugs to last long enough to gather thoughts and contemplate futures. It was therapeutic and pastoral all in a simple wordless action. It was Medicine. And for the first time in a long time Procyon felt something else.

His long black nose was buried in the soft ample chest of the bear. It basked in the bear's musk. Normally, Procyon's sensitive nose found it overpowering, but now it was something not unpleasant. Memories rushed in; the raccoon's mind was awash in mixed states of thought and emotions. The mind was clouded with conflict but his paws reacted instinctually. They moved from a hug and gently grabbed the bear's shoulders.

"Is everything okay?" Oliver asked noticing his friend's subtle change, gently stroking his left ear.

Procyon spoke but seemed almost afraid to lift his head from the bear's chest. "Over the past few years, you have been a friend, a dear friend. You were there when everything blew up, helped me get my life back together. You gave me space when I asked. You pushed me when needed it, and listened when I had to rant. We have both been comfortable in where the relationship is now, even though I know sometimes you've wanted more."

"I'm perfectly happy where things are!" Olive protested. "You need to believe me when I say..."

Procyon cut him off by lifting his head, glaring and putting his paw to the bears muzzle "I know, and believe you. I know you do not need more, do not ask for more, I get that! But I know you just would like more if given a chance." He lowered his head so the raccoon's muzzle was now flat against the bear's chest. "I do not know what I want. That has been clear. But tonight can we ignore that? Let me remember and try to rediscover what was, contemplate what could be, and decide later what I actually want. Because right now I don't know what I want but I do not fear your closeness as I once did. At least for tonight, I want to enjoy that to the fullest."

The bear looked down at his partner and nodded his consent. He honestly expected nothing and everything as equal possibilities, with no obligation to either so that his friend, his partner, his lover, could discover if this is what wanted and needed.

Procyon then placed a gentle kiss on the bear's lips. The kiss led to a deeper kiss as he rubbed the think red chest fur of the bear. Deftly the raccoon moved his hand from rubbing his chest and solders, down his ribs until they landed squarely on the out side of Oliver's thighs. A black muzzle left the bear's to sniff and inhale the deep musky scent of red chest fur. The raccoon started to lick and drag his tongue down the bear's body until it found a growing tip of bear meat already protruding from a warm fuzzy sheath.

Oliver was like many bears of his age, large and round. Not obese, but ample, having enjoyed the benefits of a good and productive life. His cock was the epitome of all of that. Wide in girth and solid firmness, and yet somehow always had a surprisingly invitingly gentle feel, heat and musk that seemed to belie the rest of the bears imposing form. The raccoon's tongue circles the tip, darting around the ridge cause by circumcision. A deep contented growl came from deep within the bear's belly.

With that, Procyon positioned himself to take the whole length down his throat. The wide girth stretched his mouth. His tongue now used its entire length to massage Oliver's cock from base to tip. A deep exhale, almost a whine, left the big bear's lips. Slowly Procyon drew his muzzle up slowly, allowing a gentle natural suction to form and he pulled his lips back all the way to the tip. The bear sighed. He had remembered his lover's body well, and Procyon was going to do everything to show his deeper affections after such a long silence.

Oliver's cock was now slick with saliva and the raccoon used his dexterous paws to full effect. Gently pumping the shaft, he continued to circle the tip, making his paws slicker with each pass. The bears started to breath erratic and heavily. With deft paws, a circular massaging motion was started. Every inch was stimulated with both vertical and horizontal gripping. As the pumping grew more focus and intense, Procyon could sense this would come to and end soon.

The cybernetic ear and eye went into high gain mode. Procyon was focused on pleasuring his lover as few idavidual's are able to. His eye could pick up and analyze the body movements, the heat patterns, the seemingly random spasms of muscles. All had potential direction and purpose, and Procyon could focus this. His ear followed his heart rate, his breathing, every response and action could be choreographed. He could see the tensing of the bears paws, his legs curled in a way reminiscent of and archer drawing on a bow. The raccoon just teased the tip to draw out the impeding orgasm to the last possible moment. He knew that bears, with all their constitution, have bodies that focus health and strength in every action. Sex was no different and he was going to bring Oliver, his most darling bear, to an exemplarily climax.

In a millisecond, the paws clenched, the legs buckled, and Procyon's enhanced sense could track the convulsions perfectly. Like a rubber band being snapped, the muscles spasm like a wave from all four paws and focused in on his body. With one last hilting thrust the raccoons hand pumped the shaft its full length and it erupted with ballistic intensity as white hot cum shot into the air. An exacerbated roar left the bear's maw as he was gripped by the orgasm. For all the intensity of the first spike, the bear's aftershocks were erratic and of vastly different intensity. The rest of the bear's seed dribbled over his ample red furred chest. The bear's mass finally stopped bucking, and Oliver lay there listlessly but content.

"How was that?" Procyon asked playfully, giving his partner a quick kiss to the cheek.

"hmmrr, mrrr, ehhhh" The big fuzzy bear murmured, squeezing his partner as he basked in the afterglow. The heat off his furry body was intense and his musk roiled. The bear's body was desperately trying to recollect itself after the experience. Oliver smiled as he gave a last gentle kiss to his partner. However the embers soon cooled and he drifted of to sleep, leaving Procyon alone with his thoughts.

Procyon looked at the ceiling, digging into his emotions, his memories, his being for what he experienced and felt at that moment. He had given his partner both skill and tenderness, all the things a lover should have.

"It's still missing!" Procyon concluded in frustration. "There is trust, there is affection and admiration," He thought, "Hell there may even be love, but something is missing...some spark, something vital" He stared at the bear in the bed with him as he itched his left ear. He reflected. "I'm willing to give him everything, he means so much to me, and yet can't ignore this emptiness gnawing at me." He pondered some more, playing with the focusing ring of his eyepiece. His ears twitched and refocused on the beating heart of the bear next to him. "You are too good to me, thank you." He gave the bear a quick hug and got up, looking back with a brief tear of conflicted emotions.

Procyon finished packing, placing all the supplies and luggage onto the Intrepid. He tried to focus, trying to figure out what it all meant. However, he found his mind dancing in futile circles. It was best to just focus on the trip. That would help clear his mind, help him figure out...something...anything. The raccoon snorted in frustration. Checking the computer one last time, everything from finances to itinerary made this trip possible. Everything was set. He was ready to go. He stood motionless for a bit, not sure what to do.

A short while later he found himself at the door to Oliver's room, standing there idly. He felt like he had two unknown adversaries in the dark. One shadow was in the room in front of him and the other shadow waiting for him in the ship. Both seemed to have diametrically opposed promises and fears linked to possibilities and stability. He tried to see them for what there are but got lost in the cloud. Procyon reflexively strode carefully up to Oliver and kissed him gently on the forehead. "Goodbye my sweet bear"

Silently, unknown to Procyon, Oliver had awoken while the raccoon stood in the doorway. The bear's many years taught him that there was a ritual at work here. He remained quiet as his partner went through the motions, as if somehow acting would interrupt and break the spell. "Like a bud on a tree in spring" he thought to himself, "There are some things that need to unfold in due time, and forcing it will destroy that growth". He felt the kiss, and sighed inward.

He could hear his beloved raccoon stand in the doorway again, no doubt fighting his demons, and relaxed when he heard him go to the ship that was waiting for him. A few moments later the engines fired as Intrepid lifted off the pad. The Bear sighed outwardly this time and snuggled up to his pillows. "Whatever you find out there little one, I know for certain one thing will always remain true. This will always be home."