Unwanted
#5 of After Hours
*Crunch*
*Boom*
"You're done," I mutter to no one in particular. The deep, satisfying drumbeat of a successful parry rang through my speakers. I had my headphones in but my mic was off. Dark Souls pvp. Again. Not unusual for me. There was something so satisfying about a good fight in Dark Souls. It was a shame the internet was so saturated with GiantDads. Fuckers light rolling in heavy armor and lugging around flaming swords. A lot of people complained the build was too good, but I found them boring. Most people running heavy armor agility builds tended to do so they could compensate for being bad, so I just found them to be easy, uninteresting free wins. They also had a habit of sending butthurt hatemail once you trounced them.
Sure enough, my xbox beeped to notify me of a message from xx-TheNoScope-xx.
"Magic spamming parry-faggot. next time fight me without resorting to n00b tricks."
I was unable to resist shooting back with a quick "you flatter me" before touching a red sigil sign to summon someone who actually looked like a competent player. I also couldn't resist someone with the username "GrosslyIncandescent." We stopped back and bowed, a simple ritual weighted with the promise of an honorable duel.
GI was an excellent player, that was for sure. He was certainly a man who liked to play more with the claymore, and I had to focus a lot of attention on staying out of his reach for fear of stunlock. We were both down to our last sliver of vitality when GI rolled in for the killing blow, but I managed to intercept him with a blast from my moonlight sword. As GI collapsed on the ground, I opened up the dashboard menu to shoot him a quick "GG," and by the time I finished my inbox binged to notify me of an identical message sent by GrosslyIncandescent.
I couldn't stop myself from smiling. THIS was why I had clocked countless hours into Dark Souls. There wasn't anything quite so satisfying as an intense, wire-to-wire duel with a player who loved the game just as much as you did. It was a shame that people had been resorting to hacking for easy wins. What was the point of victory if it wasn't earned?
The door clicked as James shuffled into the room. Hiis dark fur was shiny and sleek with water, and he brought with him the pleasant scent of spring rain. His shirt was speckled with drops, and he his backpack was wrapped in his jacket. no doubt he had his PS3 in their. He sat down behind me with a sigh and pulled up a chair. He wasn't as into Dark Souls as I was, but he certainly was a die hard dueler and we both enjoyed watching each other fight.
It wasn't until I had put down "The Marksman" that I noticed something wrong with James. A deep frown slashed across his muzzle and his blue eyes were half-closed under furrowed brows. I put down my controller and swiveled around in my chair to face James. "What's up, man?"
"Nothing."
"Liar. Just tell me if you don't wanna talk."
James crossed his arms and glared. Maybe I'd been too blunt. He stood up and shrugged off his soaked shirt before flopping onto his bed. He didn't speak for five whole minutes, and I didn't turn away from him.
James turned his head and pointed at my screen. "Dude, you're getting invaded."
I jumped in my chair as I heard the ominous sound of a phantom entering my world. It was NoScope again, and the fight was short. GiantDads were free parries for me. Once I picked up his bloodstain, I dashboarded to save myself from any unwanted invasions. "Are you going to tell me what's bugging you or should I leave you alone?"
James didn't speak for another minute or two. "Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you ever have trouble feeling... wanted?"
"I do," I said without hesitating. I was certainly familiar with the feeling of isolation. "I take it you're feeling unwanted right now?"
"I am."
"What's up? Weren't you with Janis and Neals today?"
"Mmhmm..."
"So I take it something happened this afternoon."
"Yeah. They were an hour late. Janis and Neals had gone out with Shannon and Liz and Joe for sushi. They were sorry they were late, but I kind of wish they'd have told me. I would've gone with them, and even if they didn't have space in a car I'd have known not to wait outside their apartment for an hour."
"Is that why you're all wet?"
"Nah, I was able to sit in the lobby. The rain picked up on the way back."
"So is that what's bugging you?"
"Sort of."
"Go on?"
"Well, you know that my game tastes are a lot different from a lot of people."
"Yeah."
"Well, people were playing lots of different while I was there, and I was having some fun. I just felt a little put out that no one really asked my input. Janis and Neals are both pretty good at fighters, and I was hoping we could play a few rounds. But people just sort of decided without me. Even if they didn't want to play a fighter, I wish they'd at least ask me."
I just nodded as I listened. "I get you. Some days I feel the same. I guess it's just one of the pitfalls of unusual tastes."
James reached back to scratch behind his ears. "But should it be? Is it too much effort to even ask?"
"It shouldn't be, but for some people it is."
"I dunno," muttered James. He turned onto his side, showing me his back. "I just feel like... like I'm always on the fringe of my social groups. I like roleplaying games, but everyone here likes to make weird or cool builds and forget to make a character. I'm on mock trial, but everyone else is so cutthroat about it. I play music, but I'm the only one who plays french horn."
"And what about the girls you bring in here?" I immediately regretted asking. I wasn't sure if my tone sounded too pointed or accusatory, and his sex life wasn't my business anyway.
James seemed unphased though. "have you ever noticed who I bring in with me?"
"No," I said truthfully. "I can't say I have. It's not my business anyway."
"Well, you may not have realized that I haven't brought in a girl more than twice. I know that sounds petty, but I'm not just looking for sex. I mean sex is nice, but one night stands just feel depressing. I know it sounds weird to say, but I feel like that the moment I bed a girl she loses interest in me."
"Maybe you're just bad at sex." The jibe slipped out before I could stop it, but again, James wasn't angry at my teasing.
James turned onto his back again and stretched, reaching his dark arms back and lacing his fingers behind his ears. "I think you're right. I mean, no one's ever said anything. I mean, I bet most people lie about the quality of sex, don't they?"
"My exes didn't," I chuckled. "Hannah and Tiffany both said I was terrible. But I've read some surveys that said men and women lied about their satisfaction, or at least admitted they withheld criticism or comment."
We sat in silence for a while, neither of us talking or moving. James spoke first. "I dunno. I guess today was just a shitty day. Maybe I just need to put it behind me. Something is telling me that I'm just chronically over thinking things again."
I just nodded before standing up and unplugging my xbox. Something told me he needed some alone time right now, and the lounge couch was more comfortable than my chair anyway. I turned back to take one last look at James's face. It was hard to read, but his body seemed to sag in a way. He was practically oozing depression. He seemed like someone in need of affection, but something told me I was NOT the right person to do that right now.
I decided to leave it to one parting comment. "James... you know you've been a good friend to me. At the very least, I'm very glad to have met you." I stood there with the door half-open as I leaned against the frame, my xbox in my arms.
James waited a while before responding. "Thanks, Sam."