Kiss My Arse 5 - Fucking Jungle!
#5 of Kiss My Arse
"This forest is dangerous and will take no prisoners. There are many things in here that will hurt you. Most of them will kill you. Your mind and body must truly be ready for the trials ahead. The ingredients are close but well guarded. Both of you must be ready for what may lay ahead." The assertion in his voice called to our spirits, setting our souls ablaze. "Are you ready for what lies ahead?" Me and Fang looked at each other and, with our confidence renewed, we answered, "Yes." He smiled with new assurance in us and waved at us to follow him, "Come on, let's go." The trek through the thick undergrowth would be a difficult one and the harsh, beaming Sun above us didn't make the journey any easier.
The lights were dim and all was silent. Held to the chair with heavy chains and handcuffs, the skunk sat quietly with his head dropped down. His muscles budged as his rhythmic yet calm breath filled the scene. His eyes were closed in deep concentration like a predatory about to pounce upon his prey. The door screeched open and figure walked in. Light rushed through the gap and illuminated the bleak scene. "You must be Krystal?" asked the skunk with a big smile. "Wrong," replied the voice with a sharp tone. The skunk sprung to life and looked up to find Fox staring back at him. "Had a nice rest?" he asked, patronizing the trapped skunk. "Not really, could do with a pillow." Fox only sniggered at this, "Scum like you don't get pillows." Fox slowly walked around him, circling him like an expert hunter, scanning him for any flaw in his armour, any weakness he could find. "I'd prefer to be interrogated by Krystal," scoffed the skunk, "She's nicer to look at." A firm backhand from Fox drew blood. "I touch a nerve did I Foxy?" said the skunk as he shook off the pain and spat out the blood. "I'll have my time first then she'll come in. At the moment she's away from the Great Fox but she'll be back later. If you think my interrogation style hurts, wait until she's digging into your mind." "I'm not scared of her," chuckled the skunk. "You should be." They both fell silent as Fox continued to circle him. Suddenly he upholstered him blaster and peered at the weapon. "Do you like it?" he asked the skunk. "This is an adaptation of 113-X model blaster used by the Cornerian Forces. It works just as well but with a higher rate of fire." He pointed to the barrel, "A high energy plasma round explodes from the barrel at speeds that come close to the speed of light." With a flick of the wrist, he fired a round at a spot just under the skunk's crotch on the chair. "Unfortunately, with the higher rate of fire the barrel does get quite hot." Lowering the end of the pistol onto the skunk's leg made him scream in agony; the fiery barrel singeing the fur and scolding the flesh with a sizzling sound. Fox fired two more shots at the wall, "And it becomes hotter the more times it's fired," said Fox as he thrust the hot barrel back onto the skunk's flesh. The skunk began to tear and cry. "Just tell me what I want to know. Where is the leader of the Signit?" The skunk gave him nothing. Fox fired five more shots into the wall and edged the pistol near the skunks flesh. The skunk began to laugh. "What's so funny?" demanded a confused Fox. The skunk gritted his teeth and breathed hard, "You have no idea who your messing with," answered the skunk, laughing manically through his gritted teeth. "I am the third Signit commander and my power is one of the best." Fox held his throat and wiped a new layer of sweat off his forehead which had appeared. "My codename is Pyro Skunk, does that give you a clue?" The room began to glow a hot red. A light skin of flame surrounded the skunk as he chuckled. Two columns of fire burst from his hands and fired into two corners of the room. "When you talk about things getting hot," he replied to the suffering Fox, "Don't try and challenge me with that!" Fox began to cringe and look away as wave after wave of surging heat rushed over his body. Punching the panel on the wall, he rushed out the room and looked the door. The skunk ceased the flames and returned to looking down his chest in silence. He closed his eyes and breathed his anger and pain away.
The sharp grass and thick bog pits were a constant set back with Fang and me getting stuck every dozen metres or so. I had never come across such an obstacle like this jungle. At least Dark was right, the jungle was unforgiving. Dark halted us and peered up into the canopy, staring at a oddly dark patch into the trees. With little light breaking through the heavy barrier, it was difficult to see what he was looking at. "There!" he pointed in triumph. "We need a contained for the brew. A skull should do." He removed an arrow from his quiver and fired it upwards. The arrow whistled until it crashed into the trees. The strange spot soon grew bigger and bigger. It shape became more familiar. I dived away just in time as it crashed down to the ground. Looking back from my spot on the floor, I found a large primate staring back. It seemed to be a type of gorilla and it wasn't very happy. "We found a big one didn't we boys!" chuckled Dark. The gorilla stomped and smashed at each of us, dodging away just in time to avoid it's powerful swipes. With the large beast tackling Dark, I found my chance and, with a quick leap through the air, I dug my sword deep into it's spine. With a horrific squeal, the simian collapsed to the dark earth with a thump. Dark picked himself up and brushed himself off, "Simple enough. Now all we need is the skull." Before we could decide on which of us would do the act, Fang had raised his sword high and with a mighty slash had decapitated the ape. "Now we just need to scoop all the crap out," he said with a smile. We stood there with open mouths at him. "Something tells me you've done that before, huh?" I asked. He scratched his head as he began to blush, "Once or twice, yeah..."
Again the door slowly creaked open allowing some more light in. The skunk raised his head and opened his eyes. Falco stood in front of him with his arms crossed and a big smile on his face. "You here to torture me as well?" Saying nothing, Falco closed the door and locked it tightly. His feather began to disappear and his beak morphed into a softer muzzle. A small, black nose formed and his talons turned to claws. "Morph bear, what took ya?" The figure turned round to show that it was the polar bear who tricked me. "How you holding up?" "Not bad I guess. They've tortured me y'know." "Oh grow up you baby." "Is Krystal back yet?" "No not yet. She should be back in a few hours..." "And then I destroy them all?" he said with excitement. She nodded and smiled, "Burn them all to a crisp. Just leave something for the children to mourn over!" With a callous smile, the skunk nodded ecstatically. "However, you can't do anything if I don't give you the key." The skunk stopped in his jubilation and stared seriously at her. "Would do I get if I give you the key?" she said playfully as she bit on it. "I'll do whatever you like." "Let's have some wild sex." "Whatever you want babe, I'll treat you right." She placed the key in one of his hands and kissed him on the cheek, "Just stay here and bide your time." She morphed back into Falco and walked out, leaving him with his demented thoughts.
With the brain carved out and the skin scrapped off, the skull was ready. "That's a perfect mug if I ever saw one," said Fang while playfully nudging me with his arm. "Whatever; Dark, what's next?" I asked, impatient to get back. "The first ingredient is the Larem flower nectar. That's just east of here but it won't be easy to get." Dark pointed out the way and soon we were off again. We dredged on through our exhaustion, through our pain, through or desire to give up. The evil groves and menacing creatures of the jungle took swipes at us as we walked; each one coming closer than the last. Soon, we came to a clearing of the thick tree cover to a brighter patch. Here the grass was thick and soft where no branches clawed or creatures dwelled. In front of us we a shallow, snaking stream with cooling water. "Is it safe?" enquired Fang to Dark. "Go ahead." With little to stop us, we and Fang plunged our heads in the crystal clear water and drunk heartily. While I was there, I rubbed the water into my face, filling me with new energy. Dark, however needed no water and was scanning something to my right. I walked to his side to see he was standing on a precipice. "What are you doing?" "Waiting." "For what?" The clang of a stone echoed in the thick darkness below us. "How long ago did you throw that down there?" "Just before you started drinking." The hole must have lead to the very bowels of hell itself. Something on the other side suddenly caught my eye. A same, red lily laid undisturbed on the other side, glistening in the Sun and gloating about it's invincibility. The gap was quite large and not a distant that could easily be jumped. "How the fuck can we get that?" asked Fang, wiping some water from his mouth. I took a deep breath and removed my heavy coat. I took several steps back and readied myself. "Hey Dark, do me a favour and hold your sword out flat to your side." "Whatever you think your going to do, don't do it. We can figure something else out." Ignoring his words, I began my run up. He hesitated at first but unsheathed his sword and held it out to the side. With a leap, I hit the top of the side of the blade and sprung forward. With my sword in my hand I dug it into the rock and hung on for all my arms could give me. I could feel the darkness clawing at my feet, pulling me closer to hell. With a quick fumble climbed onto my sword and reached for the flower. Stretching us much as I could still was futile as it was out of reach. "Come on Mitch, keep going!" Fang encouragement did little to help. "Fuck this," I said in anger. Pulling out my pistol, a round through the stem allowed the flower to fall into my hand. "Great work Mitch," applauded Dark, "But pray tell how the hell you're getting back over here?" That part I had exactly planned out. Soon I remember back to the time on the Great Fox. The sink. That was it! Clenching my fist, I thrust it into the rock, breaking most of it into tiny pieces and creating a platform. With a valiant leap, I landed chest first onto the other side. The others dragged me over the edge and back onto safe land. Huffing and puffing from my ordeal, the pair patted my on the head and rubbed my fur in glee. "Good work Mitch!" "Yeah...*pant*...*sigh* no problem...*gasp*..."
For the final time, the door slowly opened to the dark room. "I hope I open my eyes to find Krystal," stated the skunk. He slowly opened his eyes to see the famous blue vixen staring down at him. "Ah, Miss Krystal. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." "Unfortunately I can't say the same about meeting you." "Oh," the skunk giggled, "A feisty one. I like 'em feisty." Krystal pulled up a seat in front of the skunk and looked deep into his eyes. She looked for any sign of emotion she could use. "What you might go through will be painful and agonizing. I give you one more chance to surrender the information and I will not proceed." The skunk just laughed off her threat, "Do your worst my cute little vixen. Come closer, I won't bite." "Very well." Krystal sighed as she placed her hands on his temples with no struggle from him. The skunk bit his lip in pain as Krystal entered his mind.
"Dark are we there yet?" "Shut up..." "DARK, ARE WE..." Before Fang could finish his sentence, Dark dived at him and covered his mouth. "Shut up before you kill us all," he whispered to the shocked hedgehog. Moving in front of the pair, I peered over the bushes in front of me to many wooden huts with small fires crackling in-between them. The sounds of footsteps and chatter could be heard from their direction. "These," Dark began to explain, pointing to the village and talking quietly, "Are the grounds of the Ura Ura Clan. They protect the jungle in as many ways as they can. They will not be happy of trespassers on their land and will defend it with their lives. They have an oil that only they can make which I need to use. They Marwow oil should be in the main hut. We just need to sneak in their, grab some and get out of here." "Sounds simply," I said, "But how are we going to pull it off?" "Maybe Fang could..." Both of us looked round in panic at our lost companion. "Fang?" I called out. We stared over the bush to find Fang standing in the middle of the deserted village. He was glowing a faint silver and his spikes stood on end with energy emanating from his being with such purity that the winds whistle at his presence. "OH URA URA!!!" he cried allowed from the middle of the village. A fumbling and rummaging of the huts made us nervous. One by one, green lizards of considerable size made their way out of the hut and circled Fang. Each held a primitive spear and little parts and scraps for armour. "Let's play!" Fang gave a monumental flip backwards and outside the ring of reptiles. He then took off like a shot into the jungle with the rabble of lizards flowing him. This was our chance. Sneaking into the front of the hut, we surveyed the inside. The walls were decorated with flowers and plants of all colours and shades. A large wooden bowl sat on a make-shift table in the middle. A warm, bubbling liquid sat in this bowl which was a pink colour. Dipping the skull into the fluid, we made our way out of the hut. The whole village was waiting for us. "What the fuck happened to Fang?" One of the front lizards held him up. His lower body was covered in thick mud. "You fell into quicksand?" asked Dark, obviously exasperated. "I didn't see it, okay?" The row of lizards in the front held their spears to our throats and roared at use, demanding us to surrender. I had just remembered what Fox had given me earlier and I slowly reached into my coat pocket. "Dark, Fang, can you do me a favour?" "If it stops us getting killed then sure." "Good. Close your eyes." Pulling the pin, I rolled a flash-bang grenade to the feet of the lizards and covered my eyes. With a blinding blast of light, we had grabbed Fang and taken off.
"You don't want to look in there..." said the skunk through his pain. "I'll look where need be," replied Krystal, obviously quite drained from the experience. "I'm serious. You don't want to look in there." The door suddenly opened as the Star Fox team stood at the door. They rushed in and surrounded the two. "Krystal," said Fox, "You called us over the intercom. What do you need, what's the emergency?" "They fell for it didn't they skunk?" At the door stood Krystal. She quickly revealed herself to be Morph Bear. Krystal suddenly broke her connection with the skunk and backed away from him, "He has the key to his hand-cuffs!" The victorious skunk suddenly stood up as Morph Bear entered the room and locked the door behind her. "Hey the gang's all here!" Fox and Falco removed their blaster only to have they melted to a crisp by Pyro Skunk. "Get ready to burn..." he told them with a malicious smile. Two powerful flames burned in his hands. He looked at each one of them, picking which one would die first with a slow, painstaking manner. Krystal and Sally held each other in the corner, blocking out all of what was happening and just held each other.
We soon returned to Dark's Hut and made our way inside. He pulled out a large vat and mixed the two ingredients with some water which he left to boil. "They should be a few minutes," he said, rubbing the sweat off his forehead. We sat down together and regained our lost energy. I scraped my sword across the floor in anticipation; only ready to get back and finish my quest. "You had some moves back there Mitch," said Dark with a smile, "Like some sort of a ninja!" "Only taught by the best!" gloated Fang with a grin. "Like fuck it was you!" I playfully shunted him and we all laughed. Was I really beginning to make friends? I had never had friends before in my life. I never really saw them as something I wanted really. However, I could not deny that; after all me, Dark and Fang had gone through together as a team, I felt a friendship rising between us. Then, something caught my attention. Something on the back of Dark's head. It was a little red dot, very difficult to spot with his crimson highlights but it was there. I dived at him and tackled him to the ground. A shot was fired that narrowly missed Dark's head. With three shots through the wall behind him dropped the attacker to the ground. The sound of craft and helicopters appeared from out of nowhere outside. "GIVE IT UP!" came a screaming voice over a loud speaker. "THIS IS THE IDFF AND WE HAVE ARREST WARRANT FOR A BLACK FURRED WOLF BY THE NAME OF MITCH! WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE MITCH!!!" I slowly made my way to the window and unsheathed by sword. Sticking it above the pane, I could see a line of officers in heavy armour outside. In the sky were several helicopters and a large craft which seemed to be a mobile fortress of some kind. "YOU ARE WANTED FOR MURDER OF THE FIRST DEGREE IN THE MAIN REALITY!!! YOU WILL COME WITH US AND COMPLY OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO OPEN FIRE!!!" I looked over at Dark and Fang in desperation. They had nothing. "Mitch, the elixir won't be ready for another 30 minutes. We don't have the time." I looked down in anger, knowing that escape was impossible. "Mitch," I looked up to see Dark smiling, "If we're going to fight, I'll fight by your side." "To the end Mitch." Fang gave me a thumbs up and a wink. Suddenly a pain rushed through my body. I closed my eyes and held my ears. "HELP US MITCH!!!!!!!!" The voice screamed over and over in my head. It was Krystal. The pair rushed over and helped me to my feet as I stumbled around in agony. My body burned with the blue energy that Sonic Fox could conjure. With a scream of pain I dug my sword into the ground.
"Which one should I kill first?" The skunk moved his gaze over each one of them, seeing their faces darken or look away. Morph Bear jumped into the crowd and fished out one from the back. "Kill her, kill her!" She whipped Krystal from Sally's arms. "KRYSTAL!!" "SALLY!!" The bear positioned the terrified vixen in front of the skunk. He smiled with glee as a fire burst from his palm. "Fine, the blue vixen dies first." Krystal began to sob as she closed her eyes, accepting the end was near, "I love you Sally, Cassandra, Naomi, Ruby..." A flash of blue light burst from behind the skunk. A blade pierced through his back and out of his chest. It was my blade. Dark jumped out of the portal and fired two arrows into Morph Bear. Fang came through last and, with a clean sweep, chopped her head clean off. "MITCH!!" Krystal wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders and held on for dear life, afraid to let go. "You came!" she cried through her tears. "'Course I did!" She just giggled as Sally grabbed her from behind. "I thought I lost you, Krysy!" They hugged each other passionately as the rest of the team celebrated. Nik approached me from the back with a serious look on his face. He looked me dead in the eye. "I know you'd figure out portals you son of a bitch!" he said shaking my hand frantically and grinning. "Just in time, huh?" "I'll fuckin' say!" joked Falco from the back. The whole room is in an uproar with applause. The celebration was cut sort when I felt three sharp needles pierce my back. A strong current of electricity jolted and shocked my body into submission and I was dragged back through the portal. It closed afterwards for which Nik could not reopen it. Soon, I was back on the floor of the hut with officers surrounding me. "Chain him up and get him to transport," barked the huge captain as they dragged my limp body off onto one of the helicopters. (((I hope this story has shown you more of Dark Wolfe who will pop up several times more in the story. I think Mitch, Dark and Fang make a good team. Please keep reading as the next few stories are gunna be awesome. Dark Wolfe is Copyright of Dark Wolfe. PLEASE COMMENT!!!)))