Boy or Girl?
#25 of National Poetry Writing Month
Poem number 25 for National Poetry Month
I've always envied
those who felt at home
in their own bodies.
Those who were proud
of themselves and had
no doubts that they were
exactly who they were
supposed to be.
Those who had no doubts
about where they stood
when it came to the line
dividing the boys from
the girls.
I never wanted to be a boy
but I never felt like one of
the girls.
Why don't you like dolls?
You should wear dresses more.
Why do you always put her in
boy's clothes?
Why doesn't she have more
girl friends? Why is she
always with boys?
I stayed with the boys because
I just had more in common
with them.
No matter how hard I tried
I always felt out of place
around other girls.
Like I was wearing an
identify that didn't quite
fit right no matter how
much I moved it around.
Girls like dolls not cars.
Girls like dresses not jeans.
Girls like like pink, not blue.
Girls like dressing up not
playing with dinosaurs and
action figures.
My parents didn't care if
they had a daughter who
preferred Jurassic Park over
Barbie so why should anyone
else?
Why did I?
If I tried to be myself they
criticized me for my interests.
If I tried to be more feminine
they could only talk about how
it was about time I acted like
a "real" little girl.
Why was I made to feel as
if any interest in the masculine
was a betrayal of the feminine
side I was supposed embrace?
Why do we live in a society
that seeks to place such harsh
dividing lines between us?
Boy or girl?
Girl or boy?
Ask five people and you'll get
ten different answers. Why
can't we all just be who we are?
Why can't we seek to understand
each other first instead of just
forcing them to fit into boxes we
alone feel comfortable with?
I never wanted to be a boy.
Not then and not now.
But that wasn't something
others could understand.
I don't want to be anything.
I just want to be myself.
I will not hang my head in
shame because I do not
fit your stereotypes of what
a woman is supposed to be.