A Small Problem (Ch. 11)

Story by Khaesho Scorpent on SoFurry

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#15 of Child of the Sands

BONUS SCENE! You know how movies have deleted scenes that got cut from the final production? This is the exact opposite of that. Shou got off WAY too easy in the RP, a few aches and pains, but not the kind of soul scarring trauma that comes from having an alien god try to mix his soul with hers.Because Shou wasn't available, I wrote this without her. As of such, this might change a little depending on how well she thinks I captured her character.


Shou herself hadn't expected it, but between the damage her soul had suffered and the energy she expended with Khaesho and Kalokin, she found that she was exhausted. Her ears twitched slightly as she curled into him, letting out a soft, sleepy noise as she snuggled against her Snake. The wolf girl twitched her tail in her sleep, and settled deeper into the world of dreams. Had she been awake, Shelandra's blatant attempt at seduction would have caused a disaster. She had agreed to allow Shelandra to feel love, not to let her sleep with Khaesho. Wolves were monogamous, and rarely if ever had more than one partner. It stretched her view of what was proper enough that she slept with both Khaesho and Kalokin, but that was different. They were two entities in the same body, a unique circumstance, and even then, it drove her more than a little crazy. Khaesho had seen the damage those doubts had on her mind; deep in the crevasses of her psyche, Shou believed that she was a slut for sleeping with two men, and as much as she tried to deny it, the instinctual self-loathing still ate at her. All the same, she slept through the Serpents' soft discussion; their sliding hisses sounded more like sand pouring from a vase than actual words.

Her tail flicked slightly and her ears were twitching with happy dreams as she curled into Khaesho as he wrapped more tightly around her. She murmured in her sleep, making soft, happy noises as whatever dream she seemed to be having warmed her from the inside. Pressing in close, as she savored the warmth his scales returned to her; he might not produce his own heat, but he insulated rather well, making him a wonderfully comfortable blanket.

Khaesho had slept well previously, so he stayed awake, running his fingers through Shou's hair as she mumbled cute nonsense. As he watched her with a smile on his face, Kalokin pulled on his essence, drawing a physical shape together as his ephemeral soul formed into a decent mockery of real flesh. Smaller forms required less essence, so he made himself into a feral snake, no more than a few feet long, and wrapped himself comfortably around Khaesho's wrist.

*I was wondering if you would regain that ability, now that you're no longer bound to my body.*

*Yea... I'm out of practice though. I spent a hundred years without pulling myself together like this; I ache as you do when you come out of hibernation.*

*Ouch... I feel for ya man. Any way I can help?*

*Nah, least not actively. I'll get better with practice, but until then, I just need a comfy corner of your soul to coil up in when the pain starts to build.*

*Shou's soul too... right?*

Kalokin hissed a single, drawn out syllable, the effective equivalent of a sigh.

*About that. I'm not sure you grasp how different she is from you.*

*You mean she isn't a Naga in disguise?*

*Ha ha. Funny. No, I mean her soul... not only is it a different frequency, it almost feels like a different substance. She's built to be... actually, we don't have a word for this. Her instincts clamor for a single mate, and a single mate only. Even better, wolves and snakes are natural enemies in the wilds, which is just insult to injury as far as her spirit is concerned. She's lying to herself that I'm a unique case because I share your body... but her instincts are shooting anxiety through her, constantly.*

*Crooked bones...*

*It gets better. You and I are alike, yea? We're even a close enough frequency to resonate.*

*I should hope we're resonant! After living in constant contact with you for... seven years now, I'd be shocked if we were still different.*

*Yea, well, our souls are about the same though, with the notable difference that I'm deity. Similar emotions, similar needs, similar motivations.*

*And you're telling me that Shou isn't.*

*She has a different kind of soul, raised in a culture based around the individual, a selfish kind of world that shuns the weak and the lame in favor of piling glory on the strong and the able. That's why even a little of my soul in hers was almost like poison.*

Khaesho hissed with displeasure, hugging Shou tighter as he wrapped his arms around her.

*Kalokin, for both our sakes, I hope this is the part where you tell me the good news.*

*That was the good news. There's already a significant piece of my soul submerged in hers; what I put there on accident and what I added just now. It's late enough in the game that if I try and take it out, it would probably tear her soul to shreds.*

*Not to mention hang a cloud of disappointment over her for the rest of her life even if she did survive.*

*Right. I can't just leave it like it is... we'd have the same problem. Her instincts conflict with her actions; the dissonance in her soul prevents her from absorbing and converting what I've given her. At current status quo, she'll die in about two weeks. The only way for her to walk on this is...*

*Is if she forswore both of us. She might calm her instinct by giving all her love to one of us alone, but I doubt she would be able to do that, just like I doubt either of us would be content with being abandoned.*

*I'm sorry Khaesho... but we might have to throw this one back.*

*Wait... wait... what about hanging number three?*

*Wat.*

*If you try to push forwards, finish the binding, make her a vessel.*

*Are you kidding? I'd have to warp her soul as I twisted her spirit, so that... she... she'd feel me literally tearing her mind apart, then stitching it back together again...*

*But it would work. If you got the pacing right, you could color her spirit and soul both, and by the time she was finished, her soul would be part Serpent.*

*That's a dicy game though... if I don't get it right, she'd die for sure, and I'd get pulled into pieces. Again. I can't gamble with her life like that... I... I don't want another death on my conscience.*

*You can do it Kalokin... I know you can. You can't know until yo-*

*DO NOT PRESUME TO KNOW ME!*

His voice rumbled like a towering wave crashing against a rocky shore, resounding through the cave and leaving echoes in its wake. Both Serpent and deity froze, but Shou's exhaustion blanketed her in a thick sheet, and she slumbered on. Kalokin let the silence drag on for minutes before he continued in a hushed whisper again.

*You know what I have done... you know... you know more about me than any Serpent, living or dead, but you don't know the pain. I can't... you know how I used to be. I'm getting better, Shel was right that living with a mortal would help, but I... I don't think I would be able to handle her death on my soul. It wouldn't be able to live with myself... it would be the end of me.*

*And me as well. Then we could all three explore the afterlife together.*

Khaesho said it with a solemn tone, but something about his absolute lack of fear for death made Kalokin laugh. Khaesho glared at him a moment before hissing with unhappiness again.

*Kalokin... I've seen her soul, just like you have. She loves us both... it is central to her being right now. If... If we told her we couldn't be with her... if we said that she had to leave... do you really think she would survive that?*

Kalokin didn't say anything, but his silence was answer enough. Khaesho let the cave's pressing weight bear down on the for a few moments before he continued.

*It doesn't matter how we try to explain it. It doesn't matter that she might die if she stays. We could take every syllable in our tongue and every word in hers, and still not form a single point to convince her that it was in her best interests. She would believe that she wasn't good enough. That she wasn't worthy of our attention. That we wanted Shelandra instead, that she was just a fling, a cheap bang to empty my seed. Even if she didn't commit Ouroboros, it would ruin her for the rest of her life.*

*... Khaesho, I'm scared... I can't do this, I can't-*

*Shhhhhh... we're going to wake her up. I'll explain things as best I can. Then we let her make the decision.*

*And what if she wants to stay? What if I... what if she dies because of me?*

*Then you and I will grieve together, but I will rest well knowing that we did only as she wanted; that she made a choice, fully knowing the risks.*

*... okay... I need to... you go ahead and explain things to her.*

*Alright.*

Khaesho did his best to slowly wake Shou from her heavy slumber. He nibbled at her ears, shook her slightly, and whispered directly into her ears, until she started shifting of her own accord. Her voice was groggy with exhaustion, and she yawned, flashing healthy canines before she rubbed her head against Khaesho's broad chest.

"Khae... Khaesho? 's it mornin' already? I feel... feels like I only slept an hour..."

*I would be-* He caught himself, and spoke again, twisting his tongue into the unnatural start and stop words of English. "I would be surprised if you even slept that long. Kalokin has encountered a... small problem... and he needs your help to decide what to do."

"Wha...? Mmmkay, what's... wrong?" She yawned again mid-sentence and did her best to sit upright, relinquishing the sleepy warmth of his coils to wrap her arms around the top of his belly, just below his arms.

"To put it bluntly... your soul... it is entirely different from either mine or Kalokin's, enough so that what he had originally planned won't work."

That got her attention quickly. She tried to look him in the eye, but the all-consuming darkness wrapped them tightly until Kalokin snapped a soft light into existence above them.

"It won't? Why not? Is... Is it-"

"No, it's nothing you've done wrong; it's just a part of who you are. His soul is just too different from yours."

Shou whimpered softly, clinging to him for support. He pulled her tight against his belly with his arms before doubling his lower body back to wrap around them both.

"So, what... what are you going to do?"

"That's what we need you to help us decide. From what there was before, and what he gave just now, there's already a fair chunk of his soul in yours. Ordinarily, you would be able to... absorb that chunk, twist it into your own soul until it was yours, however... You're under a lot of stress. You're at odds with yourself, and the dissonance is preventing your soul from fixing itself. Kalokin... Kalokin looked through your spirit, your instincts while you were asleep, and he's certain that it's caused by the fact that... at the core of your being, you're unable to live with trying to share your love amongst two people."

She flinched as if she'd been struck. It was her fault.

"Khaesho, I can cope with it, I-"

"Shhh, this isn't about what you want, or what I want. This is about what you, at a fundamental level, simply cannot do."

Tears welled in her eyes, and she couldn't hold back the sobs. She wanted to believe that he was wrong... but she didn't. Deep inside of her, she knew that he was right. Even now, she could feel her unease building, and she knew it would only grow as she spent time with them. Khaesho let her cry for a little while, doing his best to sooth her with gentle, calming hisses.

"hssShhh... don't... um..."

It's called crying, I think. They do it when they're absolutely miserable.

Her cheeks were quickly soaked, and he did his best to keep from wincing as her tears smeared across his belly. Eventually, her tears melted into sniffles, and he smiled as he licked her cheek. It was a sad smile, filled with discontent, and his face almost brought fresh tears to her eyes.

"What... *sniff* what are you going to do?"

"Well... we only have two options that don't result in your guaranteed death. The first is that you leave us... forget us... your soul will heal, and-"

"NO!"

She shouted it emphatically, squeezing his ribs tightly enough that it almost started to feel uncomfortable. He was caught off guard by her outburst and only belatedly hugged her close.

"Please Khaesho... I... Don't make me leave, I promise, I..." she didn't even know what to say, only that the idea of never seeing either of them again was unacceptable.

"Shhh... I won't make you do anything you don't want to, now or ever, I swear. There is an option, but-"

"I'll do it."

"No. It comes at significant risk to Kalokin, and it would kill you if something went wrong. No doubts, you would die if he slipped. He said that if he was going to try at all, it had to be after I made sure you knew what it entailed."

"I've risked death at least one, I can do-"

"This isn't just risking death. This is torture. There are many crimes among the Serpents, but the highest and most hated crime translates roughly as 'Soul-Rape.' He would need to force himself into your soul, and while he did that, he would need to twist your instincts, twist your mind until you were almost a different person. He has to try and surge enough of his power into your spirit to warp it to accept loving multiple people. Too little, and it doesn't take. Your spirit rips your soul to shreds, and you die. Too much, and it destroys your spirit. Your soul is wiped clean, and you lose every memory, every personality trait, everything that makes you 'you' would be gone. It would be like trying to slice a pomegranate exactly down the middle: one centimeter to either side, and you'll be dead, or you wishing you were. Even if he gets it right, he still has to punch his way into your soul, violently, and it will put you through a hell unlike anything you can imagine. I went through something similar... Kalokin was not given time to slowly slide into me, he was shoved in by the other three just as forcefully as he would need to penetrate into you. You will hate him, you will hate me, and you will hate yourself enough that you might try to end your own life... I tried, at first... it felt like... like something foreign and evil was trying to take over my thoughts, which wasn't too far from the truth."

"I'll do it."

Her answer came without hesitation. She loved them both, more than she would have thought possible a week earlier. If there was any chance at all that she could share her life with them... scant hours ago, she had been at peace with death... she had accepted the fact that she might die, but she would have counted it worth it; she valued the few days she had spent with them as greater than anything she might have done alone. Now, faced with the same choice... she didn't even need to consider it. There was a chance she could live the rest of her life with Khaesho, with Kalokin, a chance to bear their children, a chance to grow old and die happy with the kind of love fairy tales spoke of. For that, she would crawl through Hell itself on her elbows and knees, if only they were waiting on the other side.