Tears of the Oryx
#14 of National Poetry Writing Month
This poem for National Poetry Month was written about Shingetsu my oryx fursona.
Tears of the Oryx
Sometimes we create characters to be that which we are not. We bring them to life through words and art and give them those qualities that we could only dream of having for ourselves one day.
Strength, confidence, compassion, love.
In our moments of weakness we go to them for strength, support, a way to hide from whatever bothers us so that we can pretend for a moment to be someone else. Someone who rises above such things and deals with them in ways that we are only beginning to try.
But sometimes we don't want strength. Sometimes we don't want compassion or confidence.
Sometimes we do not need a creature to embody our desires. We need one who will embody our reality. Our sadness, our pain, our loneliness, our hate, our misery.
He is the shadow dwelling in my heart. He is the past I have overcome. He is the pain I have conquered and them hatred I have left behind.
He is the silence I wish I had when people ignored what I had to say.
He is the hatred and loathing that burned through my veins at all the injustice in my life.
He is the pain from my past that I never quite managed to express.
He is the embodiment of my darkest places. The masculinity I have never been able to reconcile. The soft feminine side I have never been able to fully accept.
He stares from the shadows in muted silence because he knows no one is listening anyway.
He is loneliness and hatred and pain.
He is not me as I am now. He is who I once was. He is who I could have been if not for the friends and the support I now have in my life.
While I wish for the heart of a lion I will never forget the tears of the oryx.