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Kaeden's Commitment

by Draugr

Chapter XVI: Listen To The Wind Blow

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This work is licensed under aCreative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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Two months had passed since Alex's first visit. He'd babysat for Kaeden once more during that time, but that was immediately after being accepted as a candidate for caregiver training. After passing all the necessary background checks, psychological evaluations, and interviews with Chainbreaker staff, he'd gone through a barrage of short classes. After those, he had a henchman appointed to work with him, and would be responsible for short-term evaluations of carefully selected charges across the program.

Kaeden, for his part, had been making slow, but steady improvements. He could now talk about his time spent as a "girl" puppy without reservation, and Ashleigh was able to talk with him about his past tormentors without wrestling the information out of him. Their talks had become so helpful to Kaeden that Ashleigh had made the hour before his bedtime their official "chat" time - and to reward him for his progress, she pushed off his bedtime to eight-thirty - remarking, during the announcement, that she must be going soft in her old age.

"How old_are_you, Mommy?" Kaeden queried. Ashleigh didn't look that old to him - she still had youthful eyes and plenty of energy to keep up with him.

"Old enough to know better than to answer that question."

"Oh, c'mon, I tell you all about myself... "

"It's not polite to ask a lady her age," Ashleigh insisted.

"Yeah, but you're my_mommy_," he emphasized. Although Ashleigh didn't allow that 'trick' to manipulate her into doing anything major, sometimes she acted like his attempts worked on her, just to humor him.

"Oh, you little rascal, fine. I'm thirty-seven."

"Oh."

"Oh?" Ashleigh said, eyebrows raised in feigned insult.

"Oh, um, I mean, ah... I just... .I don't know what I expected. You look really young and pretty," he quickly added, blushing furiously.

"You know, Kaeden, for someone who came to me with such terrible people skills, you sure know how to smooth over a situation gone bad." Ashleigh smiled, and ruffled his headfur. "You're such a smart little puppy. Now that you've broken down all those layers of mistrust built up over your few short years, you can really blossom into who you were always meant to be."

"Who_was_I meant to be? I mean, how can you know that? Maybe I was just meant to be a loser," he said, continuing on despite a stern glance from Ashleigh. As Kaeden improved in his rehabilitation, she had started tolerating his self-depreciation less and less, even punishing him as a disincentive - and letting him know he was cared for afterward, of course. This time, however, there wasn't the accompanying depressing tone of voice to go with the words.

"Some people are born bad, some are born incapable... maybe I was one of those. Maybe you're changing me into something I wasn't supposed to be," he said.

"Puppy, I don't ever want to hear you think like that again. I've been a mother to fifteen puppies now, including you, and let me tell you there is no such thing as a puppy born bad, or a puppy born to fail. The one thing you all had in common was your part in the Chain. You were supposed to be a beautiful, bright, successful boy. You didn't know what it was at the time, but I can still hear you saying you would never break the Chain, and yet look at you now!"

"You've mentioned the Chain before, and it's even in the name of the thingy you work for... but I'm not sure I really understand what it is."

"Hmm, well, Kaeden, what did you come here for?"

"I_didn't_come here. I was brought here," he said, whimsically. Sometimes during their talks Kaeden would want to avoid the deeper subjects, even after he brought them up - but Ashleigh always gently reigned him back in.

"You know what I mean, pup. Eyes up here," she said, tapping the bridge of her nose with her paw. "Now, why are you here?" she repeated.

"Because I didn't trust anybody."

"Yes, good. But_why_didn't you trust anybody?"

"I was afraid they'd betray me. I thought if I kept my distance, I wouldn't get hurt."

"That's part of the answer, pup, but think further back. Much further back."

"My... my birth mother? But, that was before I can even remember anything," he said, furrowing his eyebrows and laying his ears back.

"Yes, but you grew up without her love and guidance. Your father did good, but, with only one parent around - he couldn't spend the kind of time growing puppies need with their role models. When she left you, that was the original betrayal, right? You are afraid people will leave you the way your mother left you."

"I guess... but I kinda got used to not having her around, you know?"

"An event like that leaves scars on a puppy's soul, Kaeden. Sometimes they are so deep it is hard to notice they are even there. That's why you are the way you are today."

"I... Ashleigh, I think I get the puppy stuff, now," Kaeden suddenly said, in a very serious tone of voice. He very rarely called his caregiver by her first name anymore - only when he thought he had something of great importance to say.

"You're treating me and all these other charges like puppies because something wrong happened when we were little, and we didn't develop right. Something is broken in us. So you make us puppies again to re-teach these lessons. To try and get us in a mindset where those lessons can be learned, right?"

Ashleigh smiled. "Kaeden, you surprise me every day with just how bright and observant you are. You're a very smart puppy, more than I give you credit for."

The Shepherd beamed, drinking in the praise. Ashleigh, however, had something more to say.

"But," she continued, "how does that fit in with the Chain?" she asked, never passing up an opportunity to teach her puppy.

Kaeden furrowed his eyebrows again in concentration. "I... I'm not sure. If the problem was just me now, you wouldn't go seeking out people like me. It must not stop with us, right?"

Ashleigh nodded.

"So, like, if I ever had puppies of my own... my inability to trust would be passed on down to them?"

"Yes. Puppies learn how to appreciate and interact with the world around them from their parents. Breaking this cycle - the bad things that are passed down from parent to child - is exactly our purpose. Think about how fast this chain could grow, Kaeden." As usual, she let him fill in the answer.

"If I had, like, three puppies... and taught it all to them... and they all had three puppies... and... "

Ashleigh nodded. "In only a few generations, one problem can turn into hundreds."

"So you address the problem before it can get that far."

"Sometimes," Ashleigh said. "Sometimes we can't catch the problem that early, but breaking even one link in the chain can be inspirational for those who are still caught in its grasp."

"But if they are still part of the Chain, how can they get out just by_seeing_someone else change? Don't they need you for that?

Ashleigh smiled. "Everyone is different, Kaeden. Most people don't need the Chainbreaker's unique services to break free. But you did. Alex did. That's nothing to be ashamed of, it just means you were hurt deeper than a lot of other people."

Kaeden nodded, seemingly thinking about everything he'd been told. Ashleigh let him ponder this a few moments before continuing.

"I hate to spring this on you at bedtime, Kaeden, but I was having a hard time figuring out how to bring this up earlier in the day. We can stay up a little later past your bedtime to talk about it if you need to."

"Um... did I do something wrong?" Kaeden asked, ears laying flat.

"No, no, of course not. But... your handler believes you are ready to try a sleepover."

"Wait, a sleepover? Like what Alex did here?"

"No, pup. That was a special circumstance. Joseph, the handler that deals with my cases, wanted to make sure he could handle long-term changes, as well as short ones like a sleepover. You'll be staying at a dear friend's house over the weekend to see how you handle things, too."

"I... I don' t know if I can do that. You won't be there," he admitted, bowing his head and blushing.

"I know you can do this, Kaeden. I believe in you. You were able to spend almost the entire day without me when Alex was puppysitting you, and you've even spent a few hours being entertained by Rashid."

"Yeah, but that was_after_I found out they were okay. I'd already shared my crib with Alex, and I found out Rashid was actually a nice guy.

Ashleigh nodded. "You learned they were okay to trust, right?"

Kaeden nodded, unsure where this was going.

"So this time, you'll be taking a step further. You'll have to learn how to trust people you don't know yet. It's a smaller step than you realize, puppy, and I'm confident you can make it. This is all part of the program too."

"I don't know if I can trust complete strangers, even if they're like me. Or you, for that matter. There's things I can talk about with you that... I don't know if I'll ever be able to talk about with anyone else."

"Oh, pup, I don't mean you have to trust them with everything. You just need to learn to trust enough to function. To have fun, and get along with another group. To have a healthy level of trusting. Do you understand the difference?"

Kaeden nodded. "Yeah, I know the difference. I just thought... I thought you wanted me to be with other people like I am with you."

Ashleigh smiled. "I would like very much if you could choose other people to be this open with, but that's your decision about who you can trust that much. But right now - let's see if you can interact with others without being a prickly pear."

"I'll try, for you. How soon do I go?"

"After lunch tomorrow. Rashid will come pick you up. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you."

"A surprise? Wha... nevermind. You'd have told me if you were going to let me know."

Ashleigh simply smiled, tucked her charge into his crib, and with a lick atop his head, left him to sleep in peace.