#7: ERIK interviews TECH E COYOTE from LOONATICS UNLEASHED
#8 of Furry Fan Interviews!
The final interviewer is Erik! And he asks Tech E Coyote some heated questions! How will the techie interview Tech? Find out! We learn that Silver likes to sniff furs and changes his catchphrase (and doesn't know where Sochi is), WMG sucks, Silver can be tortured with onions, and other crazy stuff. Also, Kataze Skunk makes a startling appearance and we learn that NOBODY should touch his wand. Yush.
NITRO: Grr...I want chicken fries...
SILVER: Grr...I want a chili dog with extra hot sauce...
ANIRO: Grr...I want you guys to shut up...
ERIK: Oh, stop it. You're not exactly the most un-annoying furry either.
ANIRO: Say again?
ERIK: You are always complaining of how much you want cheddar cheese.
ANIRO: That is true. Anyways, Silver, who is going to be interviewed today?
SILVER: Tech.
ERIK: And I'm interviewing him. Right?
SILVER: Yip yip.
ANIRO: What are you trying to do, summon Appa?!
ERIK: Appa wasn't "summoned", technically...
ANIRO: But why did you say "yip yip".
SILVER: New catchprase. I used to say yup yup, now I say yip yip. I AM a coyote, after all. I bark, howl, AND yelp!
ANIRO: Lose it.
SILVER: No.
ANIRO: It's gonna get annoying.
SILVER: Nope.
NITRO: So far it don't matter. It's like when The Doctor regenerates. You just have to get used to it.
SILVER: Bowties are cool. And now I want to try fish custard.
NITRO: Me too!
SILVER: I wonder what would happen if I dipped a chili dog into custard...I think it would taste pretty good...
NITRO: Whaaaaaaaaat?! No...just...NO!
ANIRO: Bad dog.
SILVER: Aww.
TECH: Did someone order a genius?
ANIRO: I've gotta remember that the interviewees can come back here now. Thanks to Silver. Dog...
SILVER: Glad ya could make it, Tech!
ANIRO: So you're a coyote, too.
TECH: Yeah, so?
(Aniro points at Tech)
ANIRO: DOG!
TECH: For the last time...I'm not a dog...I'M A COYOTE!!!
SILVER: "So sensitive!"
(Silver squees)
SILVER: Sorry...that's my favorite line of yours, Tech!
TECH: Thanks! There aren't too many fans of the show.
SILVER: Yeah. Fans hate change.
ERIK: Technically coyotes are classified as dogs.
TECH: Yeah, but it gets complicated.
ANIRO: Canines are all the same.
(Silver snaps his claws four times and moves his right paw in a "Z" formation while putting his left paw on his hip)
SILVER: 'Das speciesist.
ANIRO: PLEASE promise you won't EVER do that again.
SILVER: No.
SOMBRA: Get out.
SILVER: Aww. Wait, where'd YOU come from?
SOMBRA: I...don't know exactly. It's like I just...appeared. Like an animated show experiencing budget cuts.
(Sombra laughs)
TECH: Well, uh, Erik, why don't we go get started?
ZIGGO: You guys look ready to go!
SILVER: Yesh.
NITRO: I'll be out there in a bit. Let me just get something to drink first. Where's the bathroom again?
ANIRO: I'm surrounded by dogs...
SILVER: I think it's to the left.
NITRO: Thanks, bud.
(Erik, Tech, and Nitro leave)
SILVER: I want to ski in the Olympics this year.
ANIRO: The Olympics were TWO MONTHS ago!
SILVER: I don't believe you. By the way, where IS Sochi?
ANIRO: I think it's in Russia.
SILVER: Aww. That's far...right?
ANIRO: Yes.
SILVER: ...you know, I never got to try a Cony Dog at Motor City Furry Con.
ANIRO: That's because you were too busy BEING a dog! Remember?
(Flashback to April 11th, 2014...)
NITRO: Well, we made it to Novi! I still wish this was FCN though...
SILVER: I'm gonna sniff EVERYONE'S butt! :3
EVERYONE: ...
(End Flashback)
ANIRO: What happened to your brain there?
SILVER: It was under construction :3
ANIRO: Facepaw. Apply directly to the forehead.
SILVER: At least you didn't shove an onion in my mouth. Wait. No. No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOO!
ANIRO: I actually happen to have an onion >:3
SILVER: Don't you dare! Last time you KNOW my muzzle stunk for days afterwards!
(Aniro laughs menacingly towards Silver with an onion and Silver's terrified yelps can be heard throughout the building)
(Meanwhile, somewhere...)
TOMMYFOX: I didn't do it!
(Now back to the stage)
ERIK: Welcome to the seventh episode of Furry Fan Interviews! Today, we have Tech E Coyote from Loonatics Unleashed!
(The music from Season Two of Loonatics Unleashed plays)
TECH: OH SWEET ZADAVIA! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!
(The music turns off)
ERIK: Sorry. WMG wouldn't let us use the music from the first season.
TECH: Understandable, I guess.
ERIK: Okay, so, first question: Why are you green sometimes but other times you have normal coyote fur?
TECH: That's a brilliant question, actually! You see, it's all in the design of our uniforms. They mask the colors of our fur so that our true identities remain hidden.
ERIK: Oh, wow! So what is your relationship-
EVERY FURRY EVER: TECH HAS A MATE?!
ERIK: Not THAT kind of relationship...okay, then...FRIENDSHIP...with Rev?
TECH: We're really good friends. The reason that we sometimes fight is because good friends annoy each other sometimes. His family is a bit crazy though and biased towards us coyotes. They think we are crafty and should not be trusted.
REV: Oh, stop, they just think that because of your greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreat grandfather Wile E. Coyote, who-is-really-a-nice-guy-when-you-get-to-know-him-but-of-course-he-does-like-to-blow-things-up-which-isn't-really-nice-andthenofcoursetheresjdkahlsgfkdjhsfkhwfqoweif-
MORTON KOOPA JR. (AKA BIG MOUTH): Are you my long lost BBBBBBBBBBROTHER? Because-I-would-really-like-to-know-and-I-would-also-like-to-know-if-you-like-wedding-cake-because-that-is-my-favorite-thing-to-MMPH!
(Larry Koopa shoves a shoe in Morton's mouth)
LARRY: I should get YOU to talk to my plants...
ERIK: ..............moving on. Um, what was your childhood like?
TECH: Terrible! I was always inside my parents' den in the desert cooking up inventions. The other coyotes laughed at me and called me names like "Shivering Chihuahua" and said things like "Tech's head is going to explode from all that knowledge he puts in there, and then we get a free dinner!". All they ever wanted to do was play games like "run around the cacti", and "chase me", "steal the bacon", and the infamous "sniff everyone". Coyotes are naturally born athletic, quick, and agile, so it's not like I wasn't good at those games, they were just boring.
ERIK: Which is why you are so quick and agile when you are fighting crime.
TECH: Precisely.
ERIK: Okay, last question, and then...I think...it's time for audience questions. I'd better make sure. Hold on, I'll call him.
(Meanwhile...)
(The Corneria level music from the original Starfox game plays on Silver's phone backstage in a dark corner. Silver picks up his phone.)
SILVER: Arf?
ERIK: It's Erik.
SILVER: Howdy! What's up?
ERIK: I just have a question.
SILVER: Shoot!
ERIK: After four questions it's time for audience questions, right?
ANIRO: THERE you are! It's onion time!
SILVER: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
(Silver hangs up)
SILVER: Wait, what did Erik want?
(Back to the stage...)
ERIK: Hmm. Okay, then. I guess I have to ask one more question.
TECH: Go ahead.
ERIK: ...............................I don't have any more questions. Seat 19!
BLITZ (from ROAD ROVERS): Did you EVAH get the urge to BITE someone's TUSHY?
TECH: .............................................................................................................................
ERIK: GOOD questions, please! Seat 94!
SIMBA: Do you ever have no worries?
TECH: Yes. Most of the time I'm worried about my teammates or my inventions, which are my babies. But when we aren't fighting crime I like to get Rev to set up my hologram projector so it looks like I'm on the beach, with Rev pedaling a bike to keep the projector powered. I also like to kick back, eat pizza, and read books about scientific theory. And if you're wondering why I read them if I'm already a super genius, let me tell you that no one knows everything and that there is always more to explore.
ERIK: Seat 32.
DON KARNAGE (from TALE SPIN): You have a crew, no? So what is your opinion on all of them?
TECH: Ace is a great leader, but he bugs me sometimes with his ego. Lex is actually a really cool gal but she doesn't really get into science, and that's fine. Slam is...Slam. Danger Duck can be really, REALLY annoying but he is fun to be around. And Rev is like my apprentice. He is always willing to learn something from me, and we're best friends.
WOLF (from STARFOX): Sounds a lot better than MY team...
PIGMA: Hehehehe! *SNORT*
WOLF: And this is why I kicked you off.
ERIK: Seat 47.
TAILS (From SONIC THE HEDGEHOG): What do you think technology will be like in the distant future?
TECH: Well...
(Tech goes on a long rambling speech that confuses and bores everyone)
ERIK: ...well, that was two hours longer than it should have been. Thanks for being so patient guys and join us next time for our eighth episode!
(Later...)
SILVER: I don't know how much garbage I'm gonna have to eat to get rid of this smell...GRRR....
TECH: You could also try cactus juice.
SILVER: Oh, yeah! That heals everything!
TECH: But only for coyotes.
SILVER: Yip yip.
NITRO: Okay, now it's annoying.
SILVER: Aww...fine.
(An anthro skunk wearing a green shirt bursts into the room)
ERIK: Wait, that's...
SILVER: Could it be?
ZIGGO: It can't be...
TECH: Apparently it is.
KATAZE: YOU GUYS!!! YOU ARE AWESOME BECAUSE YOU DID SEVEN INTERVIEWS AND THAT IS AWESOME! BECAUSE IT'S SEVEN INTERVIEWS!
SOMBRA: Get to the point, Kataze.
KATAZE: The point? There is no point. But you HAVE run out of interviewers...
SILVER: I'll see if I can get someone to intern.
NITRO: Hey, what about Fiesta?
SILVER: Oh yeah! I'll give the fox a howl. So do we get gold stars for going through all of our interviewers?
KATAZE: NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE GOLD STARS BECAUSE THEY ARE MINE AND I WON'T LET YOU HAVE THEM!
SILVER: Aww...what about the magic wand?
KATAZE: NO ONE TOUCHES THE OFFICIAL ANTHROCON 2011 MAGIC WAND!
SILVER: Aww.
(Nitro snatches the wand from Kataze)
NITRO: Hey, lookie what I got!
KATAZE: NO!!!
NITRO: Yepp! See ya!
(Nitro waves the wand and disappears into thin air)
SILVER: Buddy?!
(Buddy The Husky enters the room)
BUDDY: Someone called my name!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! :3
ZIGGO: Kataze, what's going on? I have a bad feeling in my short stubby legs!
(A palm tree tap dances around the room and Sombra starts talking in Japanese)
KATAZE: The wand can't be touched by anyone but me or this will happen!
(Nitro appears)
NITRO: Okay.
(Nitro gives the wand to Kataze and everything goes back to normal)
ZIGGO: Let's end this interview before anything strange happens again.
SILVER: End transmission.
(Silver puts his paws over his muzzle)
SILVER: Oops...?
ERIK: Happy tails.
-END-