sleeping bears lay
#1 of sleep
random story i wrote and did not edit to keep myself in the writing mindset. I'm a bit stressed and writing always calms me down. please dont rip it apart for grammar.
Ed found himself staring up at the ceiling of his room again, as he did most nights following Conner getting drunk. The otter looked over his empty room, he bed seeming incredibly large and unfilled. He was finding it harder and harder to sleep alone anymore; even white noise could not distract him from Conner's absence. Never before did he quite understand the phrase deafening silence with such crushing clarity.
Only the night before he was guiltily enjoying the steady breathing and uneasy shifts from the polar bear; he was, only a few streets over laying in his clumsy, powerful grip. Ed sighed loudly. It was a bittersweet thing that the Polar bear was such a strange drunk. Honestly in school they never talked too much until they both started going to parties. They were in different social cliques but had the same taste in music, games and sports.
Conner was an outsider, in terms of high school groups he walked the fringes. He went to the gym with the jocks but never participated in sports outside the occasional unofficial 3-on-3 games. He was slightly above average grade wise, but only due to a lack of homework completion, falling into the eyes of the burnouts and the over-achievers. Not to mention his clothes. The bear would wear preppy polo's one day and sport a near painfully bright floral print button down like some old Floridian retiree.
The guy did not make sense. But, Ed could never find a reason to look away. The otter was in with the prep's due to his lean attractive muscle and access to clothes. Honestly he could only pick two or three of his whole pool of 'friends' he could even stand to be around for more than a few minutes. That was the thing of it though, with a million identical preps he could afford to wander and keep his sanity and status.
For the first time in years though, Ed was wondering why he tried so hard to meet their expectations of him. He owed nothing to any of them and could easily change school with no remorse for any of it.
Except Conner. God damn it that bear bugged him to no end.
The first time they hung out was at Mary Abbots house, the ursine well into his share of booze and laughing like an idiot on the couch. Ed had joined the bear if only to secretly watch the two couples playing twister. Adam winter had his vulpine ass almost right in his face, and, with the pretense he was drunk, he was allowed to push it away, getting a full paw on it before the bodies all fell over.
That had incited another cackle from Conner, who fell over with full force into Ed's shoulder, who only just managed to slide off the couch and out of his path before his beer spilled from its red solo cup.
"Watch it dude." He remembered saying calmly.
"You...you just pushed him right over!" Conner laughed, eyes squeezed closed "He fell right onto Chuck!"
Ed looked over at the fox who was now getting haphazardly thrown off a particularly sober and displeased bulldog. Ed made his escape, leaving the polar bear to his noise. That night Ed made it a point to leave with Anna Grant who was too blacked out to really remember not doing anything with him. Ed wouldn't claim sex, but it was easy enough to say she was all over him in the car and he went along for a bit.
The second time they met was also at Mary's. It was only two weeks later, the parties starting off and ending midterms. The ursine was less drunk this time, but getting up to his (apparently regular) alcohol levels. Ed had to hand it to him, the guy took scotch like a champ; and he had some big knuckles.
This time Ed took a moment to assess the bear that had ratted him out at the last party and made Chuck unhappy at him. For all of Ed's social connections, that first glance at the bear didn't set off any alarms. The Otter just assumed that time he was a burnout as they were a dime a dozen. A real Party bear.
"Conner right?" the otter had started, the bear wearing a particularly revealing V-neck that came down a little far and was too short at the waist to prevent a view of his lower back or muscled stomach with his motions.
"Ed right?" the bear bounced back with a quick glance, his paws mixing together some ungodly concoction of liquid courage.
"Yeah." The otter replied lamely, not expecting that answer at all. Infact he didn't really have anything more to say did he? "Chucks still made about twister." He tried to make it sound like that was the reason he came over there and not just the bear's body. Despite how much the girls in his group would love having a gay bff, Ed did not want that image in highschool.
Conner just chuckled and kept mixing the drink.
"He told me he'd toss the fox at me next time it happened." Ed insisted going on, trying to get some sort of reaction from the bear. The fact that some nobody was ignoring him was frustrating now that he was trying to get their attention. "What are you making there?" he tried again.
"I don't know if it has a name, I'm just mixing what tastes good." The ursine verbally waved off with a disinterested tone.
Now Ed had been miffed. "Did I do something to offend you dude? What's with the cold shoulder? I'm just being friendly."
"I've seen you around." He had turned on the blender and waited until it stopped to continue. "You don't really seem the type I want to bother with."
"The hell is that supposed to mean? If I recall you were a giggly mess two weeks ago Mr. holier-than-thou."
"I don't mean to offend you, but you seem really boring and angsty." The bear finally gave him a painfully bored look. "If I wanted teen angst I'd play a JRPG."
The otter stared up defiantly at this behemoth. He didn't have any words for him that wouldn't now sound like angst. The bear started pouring out his drink. "Give me some." Ed demanded, putting down his empty cup by the blender.
"I think it's a bit strong for your weight class buddy boy." The bear said absently, taking a sip.
Before the cocky bear could say anything else Ed took the drink from his hand and chugged it. It went down in a slow, bittersweet burn. His throat and stomach rejected everything about it, but the otter stifled a cringe and continued glaring at the bear who was now looking at him in shock.
"Dude that's gunna fuck you up in a minute." He noted with a slightly worried tone.
"I'm not-" Ed was trying to say but got caught up in a rather violent dry heave. He made a bee line to the bathroom with all the grace of the 200 plus pound following bear. The otter was soon bent over the toilet bowl with the bear offering him water and rubbing his back.
Over the course of Ed's painful half hour they shot the shit. Music, sports teams, the aforementioned JRPG's. By the end of the night they were making plans for later that week. Later into the evening however Ed lost Conner somehow and went off looking for him in the basement where most of the guests crash. Still unsuccessful he asked around and someone informed him Conner always has to crash in a guestroom because he rolls over people in his sleep and no one would be able to lift him off.
Ed found the hulking bear in an almost comically small bed for his size. The otter would have been lying if he said he wasn't admiring the bears now shirtless form a little before he walked over to see if he needed a ride home. Ed had sobered up, but Conner had only just begun his fun with the blender.
"Hey big guy." He said just above a whisper, shaking his shoulder. The bear startled awake and looked up a bit misty eyed and confused. "what time is it?" he fi9nally asked, apparently aware of who was infront of him and where he was. Ed informed him it was after 2 AM.
"Shit, looks like I'm camping out here. Are you staying? I need a ride in the morning."
Ed's words about needing to call him parents went right passed the inebriated bear who then asked again "So are you staying?" This time Ed just said yes.
"Cool." The bear grinned, closing his eyes and tucking out again.
Or so Ed had thought. The otter was soon wrapped up in the bears unrelenting, and furry arms. They held him tight but not uncomfortably against that impressive body, and despite all of his efforts, Ed could not bring himself to fight it.
It was the first night in a long time he went straight to sleep with the help of Conners heavy breathing.
Their friendship was still like that. They hung out casually, and partied together quite often; never bringing up the fact they always woke up in beds together and never seeming weird about it. Ed finally came to the realization that Conner really didn't remember those nights.
But Ed could. He was painfully aware that school was coming to an end and that after summer he would see less and less of his friend / crush. He was haunted with sleeplessness when he could not hear the snores of Conners intoxicated sleep. could not smell his bittersweet breath roll over him, or feel the muscles moved on his back as Conner breathed. He sat alone, in a far too big bed, waiting for sleep to take him into its arms, like Conner did.