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Kaeden's Commitment

by Draugr

Chapter XIV: It'll Rain A Sunny Day

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This work is licensed under aCreative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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Near the end of Alex's two week stay, something very unusual happened at dinner - Ashleigh came in from outside, and dropped a letter on the counter. It had a blue frame around the edges of the envelope, and had the Great Dane's name printed with elegant black calligraphy. At the top right, there was a logo of three connected chain links, save for the middle, which had been broken.

Alex looked at the letter, seemingly in disbelief. "Is this... did I... ?"

"Read it, Alex. Out loud, if you want to. You and Kaeden have become pretty close friends, I bet he'd like to hear it as well."

Dear Alex,

It has been five months since you enrolled yourself in the Chainbreaker program. Though you did not know what you were getting into at the time, no doubt you do not regret your decision and the results it has shown in your life. During your stay with your caregiver, you have shown impressive results and an inspiring recovery. The reports Ashleigh has sent about your final tests at her home have been heartening to read as well.

I'm proud to announce that as of today, we declare that your link in the Chain has been broken. You've managed to overcome your difficulties and reach your learning goals, and become a healthy person in the process. In other words: you have graduated!

Your aunt and uncle have contacted us and told us they would be more than happy to provide you with a home while you look to get back on your feet after your transformation. To aid in your full recovery, you will be supplied with a small stock of diapers and pull-ups for potty-training.

We hope that the rest of your life will be as fruitful as this special period, and that you'll always look back on the days you spent in our program with pride and satisfaction. I've attached your graduation certificate with this letter.

Enjoy your new life!

Sincerely,

Joseph Boden, Chainbreaker Handler

"I...I don't even know what to think!" Alex said, although his voice was joyful. Clearly his transformation meant a lot to him. Ashleigh unlocked the restraints in Kaeden's high chair, letting him out, and they both went over to embrace Alex in a hug, congratulating him.

"But... what about Sarah? She doesn't know anything!"

Ashleigh smiled. "You two aren't my first pups, and it's hardly unusual for a puppy to graduate our program while away from their caregiver. Sarah already knows you graduated and I am sure she is overjoyed. Rashid will drive you back to her so you can celebrate with her, and then he'll take you to your aunt and uncle's home, if that's where you'd like to be."

"They're my only family," Alex said. "I want to be with them and show how much I've changed."

"Where's your mom and dad?" Kaeden asked, curious.

Alex hung his head. "They died when I was young. Dad from a stroke. Mom killed herself a few weeks later. I never really recovered from it until today."

Kaeden nodded his head, understanding. "That must have been horrible."

"It was... but Sarah, Ashleigh, and even you helped me to handle it, and move past it."

"Congratulations, Alex," the Pyrenees said, giving him another hug. "Rashid is waiting outside to drive you to Sarah's home. Do you need changed before you go?"

Alex blushed sheepishly. "I'm a little wet, but if it's all the same, I'm really excited to see Sarah again and tell her the news. I mean, she already knows, but... I want to show her my letter."

Ashleigh laughed. "Normally I wouldn't even think of sending one of my charges off without a clean diaper, but, you're not our puppy anymore. You've graduated, and those kinds of decisions are yours to make. I'm really proud of you, and I wish you the best."

Alex nodded, his tail crinkle-wagging back and forth. He looked over at Kaeden, who seemed a little depressed.

"Hey, cheer up, Kaeden. I promised you I'd come back to visit, and I will. You have my word."

"Thanks," the Shepherd said, cheering up a little.

"Alright, everyone said their goodbyes?" Ashleigh inquired.

Both pups - current and former - nodded their heads.

"Then let's get you home, Alex."

Ashleigh led Alex to the front door, leaving Kaeden in the kitchen by himself for a few minutes. When she returned, she found her charge sitting there, glumly.

"What's the matter, Kaeden? Aren't you happy for him? You even get the crib to yourself, now."

"I am, I mean... I'm_really_happy for him. It's just that... he started this program after I did, and he's already graduated. Am I ever going to get better? He couldn't even_function_normally when he started."

"Neither could you, puppy."

"No, but... I mean I wasn't nearly as bad off as he was."

"Everyone comes to Chainbreakers for different problems, Kaeden," she said, pulling up a chair and putting her arm around him. "Everyone is different, and sometimes the most crippling problems can be those easiest to fix... and seemingly minor problems can take many months of care to work through. It just depends on how deep the wound has gone, and how many opportunities it has been given to fester. You're a very special puppy, Kaeden, and your issues are just going to take more time to work through. It's not as simple as how relatively capable you were at living before coming here."

"But... I_will_get better, right?"

"Kaeden," Ashleigh said, sighing. "Do you remember what you told me the day before you signed the form to commit yourself to this program?"

"I... I told you I'd succeed."

"Then I believe you will. You're going to have ups and downs, but you'll see this through. I believe in you."

"Thanks, Mommy," he said, leaning into her embrace. "My dad was the only one who ever said he believed in me... and you already know about my problems with him."

Ashleigh nodded.

"And do you still blame your father?"

Kaeden shook his head. "No. You've shown me the problem was me. My dad was just trying to be a good dad with mo... my birth mom gone. He was good at it, and all I did was resent him for it. He must hate me."

Ashleigh shook her head.

"Kaeden, don't say that about your father. Despite how you treated him, did he ever give up you? Did he ever quit trying?"

"No, but-"

"No, but, nothing," Ashleigh interrupted. "You're his son, and he loves you. He'll forgive everything you ever said and did for him if you ask for it."

"I don't know if I'm able to do that just yet."

"You don't feel sorry for what you did?"

"No! The opposite. I_am_sorry, and I want him to forgive me, I just... I don't feel like I can ask his forgiveness for everything I've done all those years, just in one go. It doesn't feel right."

Ashleigh rubbed her charge's shoulder, comforting him.

"It won't ever feel right, Kaeden. How can you make all that up to him?"

"I can't! That was... years of just... spitting in his face," he said, eyes watering.

"There there, it's okay," Ashleigh cooed, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Maybe you shouldn't think about it in terms of making it up to him. The past is the past. You can't ever take that away - but you can start with a clean slate. Let him forgive you, and start over. Be a good son to him. That's what I would want."

Kaeden nodded. "I'll try. I don't think I'm ready for that, yet, but... maybe by the time I graduate."

"You'll need to be at least able to do_that_before you can graduate, Kaeden. It's one of your requirements. Now let's get you to the playroom and get your mind off these things. I'll even let you choose the movie."

"I don't suppose you'll let me pick a good action movie, will you?"

Ashleigh laughed. "It has to be age-appropriate, puppy," she grinned. Kaeden couldn't help but laugh a little, too - he'd long since gotten used to being treated as though he were two.

One meal, one bottle of formula, and two diaper changes later, Kaeden was being put down in his crib for bedtime. Once again, he had a question for Ashleigh - one that caused her to return to her rocking chair, and fall silent.

"Mommy... what made you want to do all of this?"

Kaeden was worried he'd hit a sensitive nerve, and in a way, he had - that was a very private question. Ashleigh sighed wistfully, trying to decide if she should tell him.

"I've been asked that before, puppy, by almost all my charges, and I've never answered it."

"Oh... I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"I said I've never answered it... that doesn't mean I won't now," she interrupted. "You're the first charge that ever wanted to call me 'Mommy'... and I think it might help_me_if I explained to you how much that means to me."

"There's a simple answer, one that many caregivers would give... and a long one."

"Would it be easier to do the simple answer first?" Kaeden offered helpfully.

Ashleigh laughed, in spite of her solemn mood. "Yes, of course. Well, you see, I get a lot of satisfaction out of seeing my puppies graduate and go on to be very successful in spite of their pasts. You were only in my bedroom once, when I left you in the nursery unattended so long ago... so you probably didn't see it, but above my closet doors hang the pictures of every puppy I've ever raised in this program, right after they graduated, starting with Kaiser, and perhaps soon, ending with you. Each one smiling and happy at the person they've become with my help, and the help of this program."

"But there's a lot of ways to help people. You could be a policewoman, or a schoolteacher if you wanted to help kids, specifically," Kaeden interjected.

"And that's why there's a long answer, too, pup." Ashleigh paused, wringing her paws together, and hanging her head. She didn't answer for a long time.

Kaeden grew worried for her, and gently lowered the unlocked bars of his crib, hopped out, and went over to sit up in her lap. He was lifted up, but was confused even more to see that she was crying.

"Mommy, what's the matter? Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, puppy, you're fine. You're wonderful; you're my wonderful baby boy. Mommy just needs a minute to collect herself."

A few moments later, Ashleigh swallowed, then continued. "This is really hard for me to talk about, Kaeden. I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you."

"I don't like seeing you sad... but when I talk with you I feel a lot better. Maybe if you talked to me, you would too?" the Shepherd offered.

"You have such a kind heart, Kaeden. You'd make a wonderful policeman or schoolteacher, yourself, after you graduate."

"Thanks, Mommy."

Kaeden waited in silence for her to continue her explanation. She cleared her throat, then started up yet again.

"Kaeden... I can't have children."

"Wha... why not? You're a wonderful mommy! Look at all you've done for me!"

"No, no, pup. It's not that. I'm... I'm barren. It means I can't get pregnant."

"Oh... I'm... I'm so sorry," he said, unsure of how to respond. "But... what about adopting a puppy of your own?"

Ashleigh shook her head. "I had a checkered past of my own, pup. Not bad enough to need the help of the Chainbreakers, but... it made it difficult to adopt. It's nearly impossible as a single parent, to begin with. Been that way for all my time.

" This organization made it possible for me to raise my own pups, and the joy I felt each time one of them worked through their problems and graduated... I was elated. It's helped me deal with the emotional issues I have about my infertility to a great degree."

Kaeden nodded. "That's why you were crying when I asked if I could call you 'Mommy'?"

Ashleigh smiled. "I didn't think you noticed that, pup."

"I thought I'd upset you at first, but... then you didn't seem to be angry or sad about it or anything afterward. I didn't understand it until now."

"It does mean a lot to me, Kaeden, and it's why you're extra special to me, and why I won't stop until I see you a changed pup. Do you remember those months before Alex came here, and you weren't making much progress?"

Kaeden nodded.

"The Chainbreakers office had actually decided to discharge you. Rashid came by with the discharge papers - and he was nearly as upset as I was. We all want you to succeed, Kaeden, understand that: but this program isn't cheap to operate, and it's easy to make those kinds of decisions when you aren't directly involved in a puppy's life. I refused to sign them."

Kaeden gasped. "Wouldn't that... I mean, wouldn't you be punished for that?"

"I'd probably have been fired."

"You... you risked that, for me?"

Ashleigh smiled. "I told you I believed in you, remember? You're worth it, puppy. Anyway, I told Rashid to take those papers back and shove them up under their collective tails. I don't believe he did_exactly_that, but I do believe he had a few choice words for them."

"I thought you taught me swearing was bad. I still remember what soap tastes like," he grimaced, smacking his lips.

Ashleigh laughed. "That's because you're a puppy, Kaeden. Puppies shouldn't use language like that. When you grow up, you can decide if you want to use language like that again - although I hope you won't ever use your words to hurt people again."

Kaeden nodded his head, and Ashleigh continued her story. "After I put you to bed that night, wondering if I'd ever see you again, I got a_very_angry phone call from corporate headquarters. I bit right back. I convinced them to let me keep you for another month - but they wanted very tangible progress."

"That was when you made me be a girl, wasn't it?" Kaeden asked, putting two and two together.

"That's right, pup. I didn't think you were ready for that, and it hurt me to see you so upset, but I had to take that risk. And I'm glad I was wrong - you met that challenge and succeeded, and you've just been improving by leaps and bounds ever since then."

"It's definitely gotten easier. With just you... you were the only one I wanted to latch on to. But when I learned I could trust Alex and Rashid... it's still not easy, but I can do it. How am I gonna get better, though, with just you three?"

"Trust your mother, Kaeden," she said, stroking his headfur. "I've got things all figured out."

"That's_not_an answer. That's what you'd tell... " he said, trailing off.

"A puppy?" she replied mirthfully.

"Yeah," Kaeden said, smirking, enjoying the joke, even though it had been at his expense.

"Well, that's enough talk for tonight. Let's get you to bed," she said. She picked him up, and after finding his diaper dry, she laid him back in his crib, putting up the side. Kaeden was asleep, sucking his pacifier, before she even got to the light switch by the door.