Videolog 1-1
#1 of Miracle Pill
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Well, then, greeting to you who are watching this. This is the videolog I am keeping to document my scientific findings. I suppose I should start with an introduction. My name is Robert Lawson. I suppose you could say I'm lucky. I live in a family of upper-middle-class foxes. Here you see me as I am - a 17-year-old scientific prodigy of a fox. Sadly, as you can see, I am not the healthiest individual...chubby, chunky, portly, heavy, well-fed, big-boned; my parents, as proud of me as they are, have used every euphemism there is for it, but the truth is, I'm fat. Fat. There. I said it. I am an endomorph. What that means is that I am the type of person that gains muscle if I work for it, but I have a very slow metabolism, meaning that if I'm not careful, I gain fat easily. And since I spend half my time in my lab, well... you know.
But soon, that is all going to change. All my life, I have been ridiculed. I have always been the fat, nerdy kid without any friends, spending my time closeted in a lab, doing things that maybe a few hundred furs in the world besides me would understand. The result though, is something that I believe will change everything for me. I have developed a weight-loss pill, plain and simple.
I know what you must be thinking. There are tons of weight loss formulas out there. Why haven't I just found one that works for me? Well, the answer to that is that I am smart. I got ahold of some free samples of various store-bought formulas and tested them. When I broke them down chemically, I found that most of them were just flour, glucose and metabolic stimulators diluted to the point of uselessness. Those that weren't, well, weren't right for me. I wanted fast results, and was willing to do anything...well, almost anything to get them.
This is it here. This is the pill. Look at it. Just a tiny little red thing, barely even visible. It must seem ludicrous to you when I claim that something half the size of my smallest fingernail will, with just one dose, make me lose all this weight. But it will; however, I'm not going to disclose the formula on video, because frankly, it's dangerous. Instead I've entrusted a good friend with it. He doesn't understand any of it, but that's all the better for him if I'm wrong about this.
Anyhow, when I said I'd do anything to lose weight fast, I meant it. I've been working on this for almost a year now, and it's full of unstable chemicals. I've managed to stabilize them all, so it's safe...just as long as it doesn't come in contact with an acid. The reaction then is intense, but that is the key to it. The reaction with the hydrochloric acid in your stomach produces several chemicals with varied effects, all pertaining to weight loss and muscle gain. There are several problems with this, though.
First of all, the only tests I have done are in the lab, and the results, while encouraging, are quite disturbing. The reaction produces so much product at once that there is a strong possibility not only of organ damage, but of overdose. With that in mind, I halved the size of the pill and cut it with some neutralizers. Another problem pertains to how the pill works. Its main effects include a dramatically increased metabolism, sped up protein breakdown and reconstruction, and increased production of testosterone. Let me explain all that.
When someone takes this pill, their metabolism speeds up dramatically, allowing them to digest food, burn fat, and gain muscle mass at a much faster rate. This pill speeds everything up so much, though, that they would have to consume massive amounts of food to keep their body from using up its supply of calories, at which point it would - how do I explain this in simple terms? - eating itself out from the inside for the nutrients. Kinda gross, I know. Umm...enzyme production. Right. This pill helps the body make large amounts of pepsin and various other acids in a short amount of time. This is related to the metabolism thing. The extra enzymes help break proteins down into amino acids and building them back into muscle. If the person taking this pill does not eat enough protein after taking it, the enzymes might start to digest the stomach lining. The final problem is the increased testosterone production in the one taking it. Testosterone helps build muscle mass, but has certain side effects, including increased aggressiveness and libido.
Now, let me just recap all of that. I said I'd be willing to do almost anything to lose this weight and get fit. If this works, all well and good, but possible side effects are massive organ damage, overdose, and autodigestion of the stomach lining, muscles and tissues. If the effects are serous enough, death is also possible. Oh, and some aggressiveness and increased libido, but I wouldn't really mind that. But you can see how serious I am now, can't you?
But anyway, let's steer away from the topic of death for a moment. I need to explain one last thing. This pill isn't some magic potion that makes you gain muscle mass and shed fat just by taking it. It just speeds up what would happen normally, so that you can do in an hour what would normally take a year, which is why you need to eat such large amounts of food. The energy has to come from somewhere. Then, you actually have to exercise. This pill is not a substitute for work; it merely cuts the time you need to put into that work by, oh, say 1.752 million percent. Pretty good for something smaller than my nail. Well, then - enough stalling.
Weight loss pill X, formula 12.3. First compound stable enough for testing on morphkind. Test number 1, subject Robert Lawson, male, seventeen years of age. Starting weight, two hundred and thirty pounds, body fat percentage thirty five percent.
Well. Down the hatch, as they say...
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