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Kaeden's Commitment

by Draugr

Chapter VII: Compassion In Your Hands

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This work is licensed under aCreative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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The next day was filled with a similar level of passive resistance. He didn't actively misbehave, but he couldn't be described as cooperative, either. Nothing particularly distressing happened, however, until two days later. Kaeden was awoken as usual - however, this time, as Ashleigh checked his diaper, he realized he was wet. He didn't remember going to bed that way, and he hadn't woken up any time during the night that he could remember.

"What's wrong, little one?" she asked, sensing his distress.

"I... I had an accident... " he mumbled.

"Well of course, sweetheart," she replied. "That's why you're wearing a diaper."

"No, I mean... I don't remember doing it?" He sounded confused.

"Aww, Kaeden, it's okay. Let's just get you your morning medicine, and we can forget all about your nighttime accident, okay?"

The Shepherd shook his head.

"No," he said.

"Excuse me?" the Pyrenees said in disbelief.

"I... I don't need another pill. Let me do it on my own, today."

"Do you think you're ready for that?" Ashleigh asked, raising an eyebrow. "You won't be changed until I get around to checking you, you know."

"I... I want to try. For you, I guess. I owe you that. I still feel bad that I broke my promise to you."

"Remember that feeling, pup. Not to dwell on, but so you understand how important it is to keep your promises. It will help you trust again, and help others to trust you."

She picked the Shepherd up out of his crib, laying him down on his changing table. "Okay. No pill today."

"Thank you," he whispered, the insides of his ears flushing red. He was relieved to not have to endure...that... again, but wasn't looking forward to the inevitable consequences of his choice.

"You're welcome, puppy. I've noticed you've been trying to behave better, too. Have you decided to be a good boy?"

Kaeden shook his head, wrinkling his nose at the term. He understood the implication, though: was he finally going to give in and consent to all this?

"Not really," he answered. "It's not like I want to be here, I just...you know. I guess you've got me curious, or something," he said, trying to sound dismissive. "And it's not like you're going to let me out of your sight long enough for me to do anything after yesterday. So I may as well just go along with it for now."

"Well, I suppose that's better than nothing," the Pyrenees said, pulling the front of Kaeden's fresh diaper between his legs. She taped him into his protective garment, patting the front before picking him up. "I'm glad you're starting to come around, even if you don't see it that way."

As he was carried across the room, Kaeden realized he was being taken to his crib.

"Aw, can't I at least go to the playroom or something? I feel like I'm in a jail cell in there."

"I don't think you've earned that privilege back just yet, puppy. Show me I can trust you in here, and I'll think about it."

After his morning change, he was left with a few toys in his crib to occupy his time. As a token gesture of trust, Ashleigh left the crib bars up, but unlocked. Kaeden did not abuse this trust, as tempting as it was when he began to get bored.

Ashleigh came back a couple times to check on the 'progress' of his decision, but he was still clean by lunchtime. His stomach was a bit gurgly, but he just couldn't bring himself to go past that point, and, well, go.

"You think you're ready to try something other than puppy formula today?" Kaeden nodded, eagerly. He'd grown to actually like the taste of formula, but when it was the only thing he had to 'eat' for several days on end, he was ready for something new - even if it was those pureed green beans he'd knocked out of her hand the last time.

Lunch went without incident, after which he was allowed back in the playroom. Evidently Ashleigh felt that he was trustworthy enough to be let back in there, although she still hadn't replaced the TV. In retrospect, he wasn't sure why he hadn't simply asked her to turn it off, instead of throwing things at it - but then again, he'd been much less cooperative at that point, too.

He once again occupied himself with the block toys, and when the growing pressure on his tummy became too much, he simply allowed nature to take its course. It was a lot easier than he had thought it would be - maybe it was because of the 'practice' he'd had for the past three days. He managed to resist the urge to call for Ashleigh - he knew he wasn't allowed to ask for a change. Kaeden didn't know what would happen if he did, but for the first time in his life, he had a goal, and something he wanted to achieve: showing Ashleigh she could trust him. Even if it meant staying in a messy diaper for awhile, he would grit his teeth and do it.

Kaeden tried to go back to playing with the blocks, continuing the tower he'd begun to build, but the uncomfortable feeling of a full diaper simply proved too distracting. He instead just waited on the floor for Ashleigh, being very sure to keep his rump up.

Ashleigh came in, and couldn't help but giggle when she saw her charge on all fours on the floor, knowing instantly what had happened, and why he was in that posture.

"Oh, puppy, I hope you haven't been messy for too long. Let's get that taken care of."

Ashleigh even took his paw and allowed him to walk to the nursery, rather than picking him up like she usually did. Having her paw pushing up under his diaper was not exactly something he wanted to happen right now.

As Kaeden laid down for his diaper change, he figured he'd try again to ask Ashleigh about what was going on.

"Ashleigh... I've been really good for you today, right?"

She nodded.

"And, um... I should be rewarded for that, just like I'm punished for being bad, right?"

"Sometimes, yes, pup. Where is this going?" she asked as she lifted his legs and started wiping him clean.

"Do you think you could answer some of my questions, now?"

The Great Pyrenees thought a minute, then nodded. "I think you've earned some more information about why you're here, pup. But first, let's get you to the bathroom."

Kaeden was confused - that bathroom was strictly off-limits to him, he knew, and he hadn't been re-diapered before Ashleigh picked him up and headed that way.

"You can ask me anything you want during your bath, and if I can answer it, I will."

"M-my... my bath?"

"Yes, sweetheart. You need one badly. I wanted to give you a bath on your first day here, but today is really the first day where it's safe enough for the both of us. You weren't very cooperative at first. I'm not sure exactly what made you try to turn around, but I do appreciate it."

She set him down on the tiled floor, where he shyly tucked his tail between his legs, nervously kneading it in his paws to protect his modesty.

"There's no need to be shy, Kaeden, I've seen all that plenty of times when changing you."

"Yeah, but... this is different... " he said, feeling exactly like the puppy he was being treated as.

"Well, like everything else about this, you're just going to have to get used to it. Now hop on in the tub, pup." Evidently she'd already drawn his bath before going in to check on him in the playroom. The water was warm, but not too hot - and very relaxing. He still felt a bit ashamed at being naked in front of his caregiver - not to mention when her paws started massaging shampoo into his fur - but it was a good feeling, and he was able to relax.

"Your bath won't last forever, Kaeden. Did you want to ask me some questions?"

"Oh! Um, yes," he said, springing out of his relaxing stupor. "Where... where did Rashid go? I haven't seen him all day. Not that I mind... "

Ashleigh laughed at the childish remark. "Rashid was only here until you were controllable and we were sure you wouldn't be a danger to me or yourself. He left today after we had a talk about you. I can call him back at a moment's notice, though, so you be sure to behave."

"Yes, Ashleigh," he said sheepishly.

"Okay, um... when I... when I broke my promise to you," he said, his voice wavering a bit, "the person I called said they were from 'Chainbreakers Incorporated.' What's that?"

"That's not a question I can answer yet, pup. Next question." Ashleigh was moving down lower, massaging the soapy water into his fur below the waterline now.

Kaeden grunted in displeasure. At least he'd be told, sometime, although he wished it was today. "Okay... you say I'm here because I need help. How is this supposed to help me?"

Ashleigh smiled. "That's an easy one, pup. Sure you can't figure that out on your own?"

Kaeden shook his head.

"That's okay. What did we learn yesterday?"

"How bad it feels when people betray you," he said, hanging his head again. The reminder was still too fresh.

Ashleigh nodded. "Then you've already been helped, haven't you? You've learned to be more trustworthy with other people, which will help you to trust others in turn."

Kaeden nodded. "I did learn that. But I don't see how that will help me trust other people."

"I asked you this before, Kaeden, but, I'll ask again now. Do you trust me?"

Kaeden stopped, and had to think a moment. Ashleigh had only broken her word to him once, and she had gone out of her way to explain herself to him at the time. It had all been a lesson for him to learn, and in the end it hadn't been a_real_spanking. Everything else she'd ever done... maybe it didn't seem like it yet, but it sure_felt_like it was because she cared about him.

"I... yes. I think I do."

"So trust me when I say that you'll get to that point. You'll be able to trust people without going through everything you've gone through with me."

"Well, that's a relief," Kaeden said, with a bit of a chuckle. Ashleigh couldn't help but laugh, too.

"Okay, then... what's with the diapers and puppy stuff? I don't get what that has to do with anything. It's so confusing. There's so many rules to follow."

"Aww, Kaeden. Sometimes this life can get you down, but cheer up. Although I can't answer that for you, puppy, you have everything you know to figure out the answer on your own."

"I think I know... I just wanted to hear you say it," he responded.

"Tell me, instead." the Pyrenees said.

"That kind of stuff is supposed to be learned when you're a kid, right? I mean, you're not supposed to just trust everybody, but I don't trust anybody at all. I guess there's supposed to be a happy medium, or somethi-YIPE!"

The sudden exclamation was due to Ashleigh going down further, and washing up between his legs. The unexpected touch made him stand up out of the water, backing up.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he said, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, pup, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just washing you up, nothing bad."

"I... " Kaeden fell silent, not sure what to say. He wanted to insist on washing himself up_down there_, but... this was a trust thing, too. And if he trusted Ashleigh... it was okay to let her do that. He slowly lowered himself back down in the water, allowing her to continue washing him.

"Sorry. This is just... new."

"It's okay, I understand," she said. "One last question, then it's time to dry you off."

Kaeden still had a hundred questions to ask, but he tried to settle on one that was more important. It took a minute, but he finally made up his mind.

"This... whatever this is. There's an end point, right? You aren't just going to make me be your puppy forever?"

Ashleigh furrowed her eyebrows. "That's not as simple for me to answer as you'd think, pup. No, this isn't forever, but... the end point is up to you, in a way. I'm going to do what I can to help you get there, but you have to work at it too. And I hope at some point I won't have to_make_you be my puppy, either. There's a benefit in all this, too."

"So... what is the end point for me, then?"

"That's two questions, pup, and I said you could have one. Regardless... that's one I can't answer." Ashleigh then pulled the plug in the tub, allowing the water to drain out. She turned on the fur dryer, then finished by toweling him off. She re-diapered her charge on the bathroom floor, then took him to his nursery for his evening bottle.

"I can't believe I"m saying this, but... can't I have some puppy food instead?"

Ashleigh smiled. "We'll wean you off a formula diet eventually, but I don't want to upset your tummy by changing your diet up so soon. Now, drink up," she said. Kaeden accepted the bottle, and began nursing. He felt very relaxed, soothed, and comforted. It was the first time since being abducted that he'd felt content.

When his bottle was finished, Ashleigh tucked him into his crib, and pulled out a large stuffed animal. She laid the plush wolf beside Kaeden, gently stroking the top of his head.

"What's this?" he asked, confused.

"Your plushie," she replied, smiling.

Kaeden groaned. "Aren't you making me do enough puppy stuff already?"

Ashleigh shook her head. "This isn't just about being a puppy, Kaeden. This is about emotional needs everybody has, even grown-up dogs like me."

The Shepherd grunted at the implication.

"I can't always be here for you every minute, so if you find yourself feeling scared, give him a hug," the Pyrenees continued.

"How can you tell me this isn't about being a puppy, and then say that?"

"Everyone needs somebody to trust, Kaeden."

"But it's just a stuffed animal."

"My other charges have said that, but, to varying degrees, they've all enjoyed the comforting presence of their plushies. I've been right about everything so far, haven't I?"

"Yeah, I_guess_," Kaeden begrudgingly admitted. "So there_have_been others, then?" he added. "You said that before, but you acted kinda strange when you said it. I thought maybe you were making it up."

Ashleigh nodded. "You've got a good memory, puppy. I wasn't supposed to tell you then, but you've come a long ways since then. But, enough about that. Your plushie needs a name," she said, indicating the plushie. "Then he won't be 'just' a stuffed animal anymore."

"A name? I don't know, I guess. I don't have a lot of experience naming toys, though."

"Maybe I can help. What about 'Ikici'?"

"Icky-what?"

Ashleigh laughed. "No, pup. It's pronounced_ih-kee-shy_. It's an old Lupine word meaning 'peacekeeper'. He can help keep your heart at peace when I'm not around."

"How do you even know Lupine? I thought that was only spoken by Northern tribes, and they don't interact with anyone."

Ashleigh gave a gentle, knowing smile. "I didn't always plan to settle down and care for little puppies like you, Kaeden."

"That's not an answer," the Shepherd complained.

"Well, you'll have to be happy with it, pup. Did you decide on a name, then?"

Kaeden repeated the name his caregiver had suggested to him several times aloud, feeling how it rolled off his tongue.

"I kind of like it. Let's go with 'Ikici,' after all."

Ashleigh tucked Kaeden's new 'friend' under the covers with him. "Keep him company," she whispered, running a paw across her charge's forehead.

"Somehow, I don't think he'll know the difference," Kaeden said, looking over at Ikici's glassy eyes.

"I wasn't talking to you, pup," Ashleigh said, with a slight grin, before leaving the nursery and turning out the lights.