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Kiven

"Shall we go swimming? Or maybe we could try to find those odd mushrooms we found last summer! Remember those?" I trilled joyously.

What a happy, beautiful, sunny day! We hadn't had a day like this since that damn traitor was executed, nearly six days ago! For the past few days there had been nothing but rain, rain, and more rain. So much had fallen that the meeting grounds had been transformed into a vast expanse of muck and mire. At last the sun had returned. The tempest had been conqured, it had! Oh damming world, your beauty masks your horrors!

Celsko made no reply, instead keeping her eyes closed, as if asleep, and wearing a slight smile.

The two of us lay sprawled lazily in the warm sun that filtered through the maw of the small cave. The cave wasn't a cold, damp, nasty hole, but rather a warm, cozy place that seemed to always lighten my spirits, no matter how foul of a mood I was in. It wasn't so much the cave itself that lightened my mood, but rather its owner, Celsko. Much like its owner, the cave was familiar and comforting, possessing warmth about it, along the slight scent of lilacs and summer rain. The most fascinating aspect of the cave was that Celsko loved to collect, and her abode greatly showed this. A deer's skull here, a strange rock there; all of which having been found by my friend.

"How about we go hunting, I saw a pack of deer just the other day!" I suggested to the still dormant female.

She unclosed one eye and gave me a sideways look.

"Or we could just stay here. The sun's awfully nice, I would rather just sleep." She purred, once more closing her eye.

"The Provider wouldn't approve. Laziness will get you nowhere, working hard can get you anywhere!"

"Hmm... I don't honestly care what he says." she rested her head on her paws, fins and ears drooping lazily.

"But... he knows everything. Everything he does is for us!" I insisted. How on earth could she not care what our dear leader said?

She remained silent for a moment.

"Nimbus... do you think everything The Provider does is truly for the good of the colony?" she opened her brilliant emerald eyes and looked up at me, "Do you think everything he tells us is... true?"

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" I huffed.

A look of thoughtfullness crossed her face.

"Well, take humans for example. According to him they are an ugly, barbaric breed that live in utter squalor. But look at this..." She stood and walked back into the cave, returning a minute later holding something in her maw. Ever so gently she placed the strange object in front of me.

I inspected it intently, my mind trying to process what I was looking at. What Celsko had deposited at my paws was completely alien to me. It was possibly the length of my paw, and of a cylindrical shape. At one end a small, conical... thing... protruded from it. The whole thing looked as if it was made of ice, but when I tentatively placed a toe upon the strange item it was in no way cold. I sniffed at it, and it smelled of nothing. Upon further inspection I found it to be hollow.

"What is this?" I questioned looking up at my friend.

"I don't know, I found it in the forest, up the river from here." she paused, "There was another, but I dropped it and it shattered into a million little pieces." she admitted, the tips of her ears turning violet with embarrassment.

I continued to examine.

"I think the humans made it." she finally said. "I don't know how it would've gotten there... but it's certainly not of the earth."

"Maybe we should show it to The Provider. He'll probably know where it came from." I suggested.

She gave me a queer look, before replying with a terse, "I think not."

"Perhaps..." I amended, fearing the Provider might commandeer Celsko's discovery. That would sadden her a great deal, I figured.

...And she would blame me! She would hate me for it!

I pushed it across the granite slowly, listening intently to the strange noise it made. Suddenly the sun hit it, casting slivers of golden light in all different directions. It made me jump, utterly shocked by the explosion of light. Celsko squealed in delight at the spectacle.

"Isn't it pretty?" she trilled.

I stared in awe at the light, following it all the way to the roof of the cave where, in beautiful golden relief, strange shapes were illuminated against the dark stone surface. What beauty it was indeed!

"Yeah..." I said in a dazed, far off voice, not taking my eyes off the light.

"It's... beautiful."

Beauty was a somewhat unknown subject to me. I saw no beauty in my fellow dragons, with their cruel, hypocritical smiles and conversations about me. They only did it because they think I'm fucking odd, like Selkut's annoying cunt of a mate. Oh, how I could just kill her! Tear her fucking throat out, like that damn traitor's! It was wrong to think, I knew it was. Something was broken within me, for a drake, no matter how low, could never kill a female. It was for this reason that, in the days following my confrontation with the two, I had often fantasized about actually tearing at her with my claws. Selkut would probably kill me, but what loss would it be to the colony if I, a worthless excuse for a drake, were to die? Would they not celebrate my death? What worth to society is a worthless fuck? For the good of the colony! Oh, yes, for the good of the colony!

Come to think of it, I would care not if Selkut killed me! Did I not wish to die? Dragons live for hundreds of winters, and yet after only twenty-seven I wanted to end it all. Bloody, bloody! Indeed I saw no beauty in my fellow dragons! I saw no beauty in life itself! Beauty, to me, was absolute solitude. Beauty was not the strange object reflecting the light! Beauty was...

"Watch what happens when you spin it!" Celsko enthusiastically purred, drawing uncomfortably near.

...Celsko??

I looked at my friend. Her quietness, kindness, calmness were all what made her... a great friend. My only friend. Was that beauty? Friendship?

Love?

She gently used a hooked claw to spin the mysterious cylinder, causing the light to twist and distort.

For a few carefree minutes we played with it. It reminded me of the days when I was but a flightless whelp. Days of pure innocence, before the thoughts of violence came. Days when I had befriended many, before they realized that I was odd and had left me to curse and toil. Days now gone.

I watched and wondered, how long would it be before Celsko abandoned me like they all did? Oh yes, Nimbus is fucking odd! What a fucking sight it would be when she wore a hypocritical smile upon her face and called me odd! Did she think that now? What if she fucking detests me? She probably does, why would she want to be near a fucking odd drake like myself? Is it because she thinks I need a fucking friend? I need no one! If not, if she truly does enjoy my company, it will only be a matter of time before she found a mate of her own and realizes just how fucking odd I am. After they would fuck she would regale him with tales of my fucking oddness! Yes, yes! Such a fucking sight!

I watched her play with the strange object, whispering a wordless, "Bloody, bloody." to myself.

I was sinking into my own thoughts, the coldness pervading my very being. No longer was I in the cave, but my own hell; myself. Celsko was gone. The whole world was gone. I was alone, but I knew I was not. Something evil lurked within this hell!

'Yes, bloody, bloody!' a cold voice suddenly hissed. The last strands of _(sanity?) _I possessed tried in vain to tell me it was not real, but I could hear it as clear as day, could hear it resonate in my ears.

'Bloody, bloody mess it would be!' it continued.

I swore I could feel hot breath on the back of my neck.

'Go away, Kiven, just go away!' I screamed, but there were no words!

Kiven. Oh, how I hated Kiven! Always would he appear in my dreams, with his midnight black scales and blood red, pupiless eyes. At first he had just lurked in my dreams, but now he would sometimes speak to me when I was awake. He whispered things to me, horrid things! The previous summer he had told me to kill a whelp. A whelp?! When I had asked him why he was telling me this, he had insisted that the whelp was evil, and, upon reaching adulthood, would destroy the colony. I had slashed at him in an attempt to get him away from me, but when I did he was gone. I had cut, with my own claws, a large gash along my shoulder blade, the scar of which I still bore.

'You... you see! You know you wa-want to sl-sl-slasssh at her! Wa-watch it be-become a big bloody m-m-mess!' Kiven hissed, his eyes narrowing to slits. 'I-it would b-be easssy! S-so easssy!' I could see him! I could see his red eyes glowing in the dark that was me! They were burning me! Killing me!

'Bloody, bloody, bloody...' the black drake began to chant. His voice throbbed in my ears, causing great pain. It stabbed at me, like that of a blade! I was drowning, drowning in my own blood as it flowed drown my throagh! The pressure built up within my skull, I felt blood in my ears, my head would explode and Celsko would go right on spinning the strange object idly. Spinning, spinning, light flashing across the cave. It drove me mad, it did!

I could contain myself no longer. No longer could I bear Kiven's torments! I buried my eyes beneath my paws in a fruitless attempt to evade his chants, only to find that he was inside my head, inside of my skull!

"Bloody, bloody!" I screamed in absolute terror. My words had pierced the binds he had placed around my snout!

With sharp claws I tore at the top of my head, right between my horns. I had to get Kiven out, I just had to! He was killing me from within!

The darkness grabbed at me, trying to tear my forepaws away from my head. Kiven was trying to stop me! Trying to stop me from getting him out of my head! I would kill him! It was the only way! Bloody, bloody! I looked up to face him...

...But it was not those evil, blood-red eyes that I stared into. The eyes I stared into were the exquisite emerald eyes of a frightened Celsko. Instantly, I stopped mutilating myself.

I was back in Celsko's cave, safe. The strange thing was still spinning slowly, the light still shone through it. It was another prison, but one that I could grip.

Kiven was gone. Not dead, for I had failed at killing him. To kill Kiven I must kill Nimbus. It was all so clear to me now! Nimbus must die! If not, Kiven would return. Yes, yes! So clear it was!

"It's all right," The dragoness soothed in a quiet, quivering voice, "Nimbus, everything's all right."

I blinked as a droplet of blood fell into my eye. My claws were covered in it, as was the ground around me, and I was only beginning to feel the searing pain atop my head.

What an utter embarrassment! Blood on the floor of Celsko's nice cave! Surely she hates me now. Yes, hates me for being odd! Hates me for being Nimbus! Nimbus doesn't deserve to live, does he? Shall I kill Nimbus? End his miserable existence? Shall I, Celsko?

"I-I'm sorry," I stammered, "I have to go... places to be, yes? I-I-I'll leave right away!"

I tried to stand, but before I could Celsko placed her paws forcefully on my shoulders. Though I could easily push her aside, I remained laying on the ground.

"Nimbus, listen to me," she pleaded, her voice almost hysterical, "you're bleeding. You need help! Now, we're going to go down to the river and get that cut cleaned up. Do you think you can do that?"

"C-Celsko, I'm fine." I grinned, tasting blood, "Kiven's gone! All gone!" I laughed, then began to sing in a cheery voice, "All gone, gone, gone!"

I expected her to chastise me for acting so odd, but, to my utter surprise, she embraced me and began to sob uncontrollably. All I felt was Celsko's forelegs around my neck and her cheek against mine. I was lost in a great tangle of leathery wing membrane as she pulled me close. It made me extremely uncomfortable.

Then again, I relished it.

"Hey, hey, don't cry Cel! Please don't! I-I'll go down to the river. We-we'll do it together! Go for a nice walk to the river, perhaps a swim, yes?" I caved, in a soothing voice. All I wanted was for her to stop crying. Seeing her cry like that made my innards twist into knots. Such a happy, carefree creature she was, and I had reduced her to a blubbering mess!

My fault. All my fault! You had to act like that infront of her, Nimbus, you fucking excuse for a dragon! All you fucking do is sadden and destroy! Fuck you, Nimbus! Why don't you go up to those fucking cliffs and jump off without opening your wings! Do it, coward! Fucking do it! Nobody fucking needs you! Make your only friend cry, did you? Bloody, bloody mess you are!

Oh, how I detest myself!

She clutched my neck for a minute longer, before slowly drawing away. Her face had my blood on it, mixed with her tears.

Beauty...?