Grief in the Night
Wow, I'm finally writing another story. It's been ages but I was writing this in my head today at work, and now I have to share it. Enjoy
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Leo stared up at the darkening sky as the sun set. He had been laying on his picnic table since he had arrived home. From a casual onlooker's stance he appeared to be dozeing, yet under the surface his mind was abuzz with thought. His mother had come out a few hours earlier asking if he would like a bite to eat, her face showed the tell-tail signs of tears but she managed to put on a brave face for her only son. She had returned to the house quickly when Leo had met her eyes. Leo was a young lion of 16 years, but today his face showed the pain and agony equal to that of a season veteran of some long lost forgotten war. His hair was slightly ruffled and his black shirt and jeans were a few sizes to big, yet he held the presence of a weary warrior.
It had been almost 6 hours since the funeral, still Leo had not shed a single tear. His neighbor Sam was walking across he backyard towards him and she got within a few feet of him before he noticed her presence. She had always been a good friend to him, they were in the same grade and walked together to school almost everyday, she was like a big sister to him.
"I'm really sorry Leo." she wispered to him when he glanced at her face. He could see that the fur around her eyes was damp and her eyes themselves were bloodshot.
"It's ok, I'll be fine." he snapped at her.
"Leo at least talk to me! You've been all bottled up since the accident, it wasn't your fault you know." she added sheepishly.
"YES IT WAS!" he yelled, "It's my fault! If he hadn't been coming to pick me up from paintball, it never would have happened."
"Leo you don't really believe that do you?" Leo was silent for almost a minute before either of the lions said a word. "Do you mind if I sit here for a while? My mom is pretty worked up, she's over talking to your Mom right now."
"Yeah I guess, Here I'll move over a bit" he said this sulkily as he shifted to the side. Sam climbed up beside him and laid down. Now the stars were out and the moon was high above them to the right.
The two of them laid there as the stars moved past thier eyes. Leo was thinking back to the accident when Sam spoke. "Leo if there's anything I can do to help.. Sometimes a shoulder to cry on helps."
"You don't understand." said Leo blankly, "You still have both your parents." He began to shake from the cold night air.
"I may Leo, but I lost my older brother in the last war, remember? You came to his funeral with me, I know how you feel right now." She flipped onto her side so she could see him as she was talking. "I want you to know Leo, I'm still here for you."
"I don't need you, I don't need anyone, I'll deal with this by myself. IT my fault anyways."
"NO Leo, It's not, It never was. It's not your fault a drunk choose to get into his car that night, and it's not your fault he hit your father." She reached over and took his hand. "Leo you've done nothing wrong, you're the victim here."
"It's just... Today, at the funeral, I want to thank you for coming. that really helped and I'm sorry I snapped at you but..." He stared up at the sky again. "I never thought I would say this but I miss him, and I never thought i would because we always got in fights. Now he's gone, and the last thing he heard from me was me getting angry about having to come home early."
"Leo, It's OK, He knows you loved him." she grabbed the sweater she had laid earlier beside her and moved closed to Leo so she could throw it over both of them. "Maybe you should go inside and sleep a little bit, You look like you haven't slept in days."
"Thats because I haven't, It's been almost 3 days since he died, I haven;t been eating much either." He shifted uncomfortably, he wasn;t used to bearing his soul and laying it on the line like this.
"Leo, you need your sleep, your Dad wouldn't want you to be sick. He would want you to move on."
"How can I sleep when my mother is constantly crying, and everyone around me is saying how sorry they are. Not you, but strangers I don't even know walking up and talking to me. I wish they would just leave me alone."
"But Leo, they just want to help you, like I do, and it's alright to cry."
Leo shifted uncomfortably, "But I haven't cried, even when I head about the accident, I feel like im floating or suspended in the air. Nothing feels real, it has no substance." He turned onto his side to look at Sam, in the moonlight he could see the lgint of a tear in the corner of her eye.
"Leo, oh leo." She wispered to him, "It's alright, I was in shock when I heard the news last year about my brother."
"It doesn't matter, what's done is done. I wish that driver would die."
"Oh Leo, he feels just as bad, that's something he will have to live with for the rest of his life." She squeezed his paw, "I know you're strong enough to move through this. I'll help."
"Thanks Sam but I don't know, everythign has changed, He'll never go camping with me again, no more fishing, no more hiking, nothing. It's all over. I didn't even have a good relationship with him to begin with. he hated computers but thats all I'm good at. He never understood what they ment to me."
"I'm sure he did Leo, he just wanted you to experience a littl ebit of everything." She rolled back onto her back, still holding his paw so as to comfort him. "Are you sure you don't want to go inside"
"No, I can't talk to my Mom right now, and seeing me only makes her cry more."
"Well Leo, I can leave if you want, I don't.."
"No! Stay please. I feel better having a friend to talk about it with." He squeezed her paw. "I think I might sleep out here but I still wanna talk to you. Can you stay for a bit more? Please?"
Sam smiled, "Of course I can. I'm glad you feel that comfortable with me." She snuggled back down beside Leo, as she got closer Leo felt her fur brush his side lightly. He glanced over and thier eyes met. It was like looking at a piece of art, and suddenly the art moved. In a brief tear in time, Leo realized how Sam had grown since thier grade school days.
Sam noticed that Leos eyes had changed slightly, as she gazed into them she saw more then grief lurking in the blue depths of his iris. She caught a brief glimps of his soul, In that instant she realized how much she cared for this lion that had helped her tie her shoes. She slowly moved her head closer to Leo.
Leo as starstruck as he was leaned forward and closed his eyes, thier lips met for a light kiss. Sam pulled back, "Leo..."
"Sam.." whispered Leo. "I think I love you."
Sam stared into his eyes, her heart skipped a beat as she was thrown in a wall of understanding. "Leo, I think I love you too, but this is a bad time." She satrted to pull away.
"No, No it isn't, with you by myside I think i can get through this, I think I can make it. Please stay." Sam relaxed and laid back down, Leo reached out and held her paw.
They laid for hours just holding paws and staring at the sky, as Sam was fading off to sleep she thought she heard Leo whisper "Thank You."
Leo pulled Sam closed to him as the first tear of many rolled down his cheek."
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